| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 5/2/2008 4:47:32 PM | OP, remember in those old cartoons where the mad scientist would put helmets on a person and an animal with wires connecting them....throw a switch.....the person starts acting like the animal and vice versa? You need one of those procedures.
IOW, somehow you've got to erase all of your negative conditioning. Eliminate all of your prior thoughts and patterns to dating and women in general. Start all over. First, look for someone who interests you. Go out with them. Stay in with them. Laugh, play, talk to, get to know, bond with them. No thoughts or anguish about if or when sex will happen. Just enjoy the lady you enjoy being with. Trust me, IF you can find her, be with her, enjoy her, you won't believe what the sex will be like. And also believe this....it WILL be worth the wait.
Now where's those helmets.....mmmuuuuwwwwaaaaahhhh.
~ds~ | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 5/2/2008 8:23:43 PM |
A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex...is gay.
Wow. That's a little harsh.
Guess all of you women were in other states when I had pieces of crap telling me I wasn't good enough to date or having sex with. | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 5/2/2008 9:05:54 PM | ^^^ "Guess all of you women were in other states when I had pieces of crap telling me I wasn't good enough to date or having sex with"
YES, that's it....let it out....there....feel better? If so, erase it from your memory banks and move forward. If not, no need to be on a dating site.....starting to sink in yet?
~ds~ | |
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custis
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Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 80 | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 5/2/2008 9:42:18 PM | | and if the tables were turned...the guy would be labelled an ass for being dissatisfied if his gal doesn't want sex. | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 5/2/2008 10:31:16 PM |
Is it an instant turnoff if a guy isn't interested in having sex? I mean, women always complain about guys wanting sex too soon or all the time. What do you think about someone who doesn't care about sex?
I think physical/sexual attraction is important to any healthy relationship and to personal health as well. In the historical predisposition of any species "when you stop trying your dying". Have your hormones checked because your body/mind may have given up.
I can't imagine getting involved in a relationship where the passion I feel emotionally for someone won't lead to carnal pleasure for the both of us. Not to say we can't sit down and watch a movie, go to dinner, read the paper, walk through the park and so on but WOW I am over 30 and can't imagine not having a desire to be intimate.
What truly affects me the most is always being the instigator! Not all the time because I have had relationships where the woman's appetite was incredible but I find that most of the time I have to start the situation and would love for the opposite to occur. Wake me up in the morning, whisper in my ear when we are out that you want me now, greet me with nothing on but a coat for a change or just grab me at him while watching a movie. I must stop now but you get the drift. Anyways, have your hormone levels checked if you are over 30 and don't have a desire for intimacy. | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 5/2/2008 10:47:43 PM | | nogo ,who have you been talking to on here? Ive been on a week and it seems like every forum i read has some very sexually liberal womenin it. | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 5/3/2008 1:39:41 AM | | Um.. if he was my husband or boyfriend and he didn't want sex... i would look at him strange.. but if it's like someone your dating or just met or something... who cares. Sex isnt everything. | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 5/3/2008 8:43:42 AM |
Anyways, have your hormone levels checked if you are over 30 and don't have a desire for intimacy.
Well, as I pointed out, it's doubtful that my hormone levels are low; although my testosterone level has never been through the roof.
It's mostly mental. I don't know how to fix it now and not sure if I want to fix it. Not to sound like a broken record, but getting told I wasn't good enough to date in the past and meeting women who didn't want sex (at least with me), it's not easy to get past. | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 5/3/2008 9:25:32 AM | Mat 19:10 The disciples *said to Him, "If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry."
Mat 19:11 But He said to them, "Not all men {can} accept this statement, but {only} those to whom it has been given.
Mat 19:12 "For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are {also} eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept {this,} let him accept {it.}"
Mat 19:13 Then {some} children were brought to Him so that He might lay His hands on them and pray; and the disciples rebuked them.
Mat 19:14 But Jesus said, "Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."
Mat 19:15 After laying His hands on them, He departed from there.
Mat 19:16 And someone came to Him and said, "Teacher, what good thing shall I do that I may obtain eternal life?"
Mat 19:17 And He said to him, "Why are you asking Me about what is good? There is {only} One who is good; but if you wish to enter into life, keep the commandments."
Mat 19:18 {Then} he *said to Him, "Which ones?" And Jesus said, "YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT MURDER; YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY; YOU SHALL NOT STEAL; YOU SHALL NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS;
Mat 19:19 HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER; and YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF."
Mat 19:20 The young man *said to Him, "All these things I have kept; what am I still lacking?"
Mat 19:21 Jesus said to him, "If you wish to be complete, go {and} sell your possessions and give to {the} poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me." 
Mat 19:22 But when the young man heard this statement, he went away grieving; for he was one who owned much property. | |
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nogo3
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Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 87 | |
| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 5/3/2008 10:45:09 AM | well my profile says not looking for sex, but thats cause i have all i can handle, i gotta wow girlfriend, lol
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 5/3/2008 12:35:11 PM | OP you are surely a lot younger than I. I am positive that way more ladies have told me they were not interested in having sex with me than ever said that to you, unless you have been going around propositioning complete strangers. Sure it is demoralizing, especially when you are young and the ladies are unkind about it. But what I learned is that what may be true for some is never true for all. Never carry the bill for the last failed relationship into the next one; close one account before you open another.
The foolish man picks out a woman who interests him, and tries to convince her that she should be interested in him when she is really not. The wise man picks out a woman who is interested in him and concerns himself with the little things that will lead to an even greater interest on her part. Attend to that and all the rest takes care of itself. | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 5/3/2008 1:24:49 PM | I have settled down with a man who is generally speaking indifferent towards sex. It hasn't broken us up, nor does it really affect the love we feel for each other. He understands as much as he is not a sexual person, I am and need that specific touch. So I am on here to find a lover on the side.
Its all about whats acceptable to you during the course of a relationship and if you can have a compromise or if you need to go your separate ways. | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 5/3/2008 1:40:17 PM | OP
I haven't read this entire forum,, I'm a guy,, if the women your are talking about, wants sex and you don't,, thats cool.... find a woman that thinks the same as you,, the rest send my way,, I'm 50,, man O man,,, do I lke it...and all woman that I have ever known like it too....... good luck,, you will make some woman happy,,  | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 5/3/2008 1:44:33 PM | Wow. That's a little harsh.
sorry, i said not you.
this is just how i would end the sentence.
you know, if girls don't want you, they're lesbians.
or have you not heard these statements? maybe it's an eastcoast thing... | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 5/3/2008 1:58:14 PM | Actually devu... there are more and more people both genders who are basically "a - sexual" meaning they lead complete and fulfilling lives without sexual contact.
Now who is the one who is not well read enough! | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 5/3/2008 2:05:01 PM | | dont get me wrong, i love sex, female company, playing, when im in the mood, sometimes though, im just void, no interest, not that i dont like or love a person, its just that im not feeling that carnal need to swap pottys with each other !!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 5/3/2008 2:10:58 PM | | Peter... I think there are many people like you. Not all of us want to live in a constant state of arousal, rather enjoy each other in the moment without the pressure. I love sex, but I love the time I spend with my husband NOT having sex too!!! Too much sex and you tend to let the other areas of your life rely to heavily on the physical. | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 5/3/2008 2:19:59 PM | | Yes well, its not always that simple ! I mean i have my off times, but sometimes, even though i like the idea, my old chap wont play ball ! | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 5/3/2008 9:38:19 PM |
It's mostly mental. I don't know how to fix it now and not sure if I want to fix it. Not to sound like a broken record, but getting told I wasn't good enough to date in the past and meeting women who didn't want sex (at least with me), it's not easy to get past.
I understand Soul - it may just be a confidence/situation thing. Don't think just peddle, don't think just peddle, don't think just peddle. Not trying to make lite of the situation but you could simply be thinking too much about the past and might need to let that go. When you do you will find a partner (usually when you are not looking) that will shoot that desire into overdrive. Just take a breath. | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 5/3/2008 10:05:21 PM | | If you don't care about then you don't care about it. Do you find any women attractive? If you do then, I would imagine wanting to have sex with them would be only natural. | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 5/3/2008 10:25:31 PM |
Wow. And to think that I spent 35 of my 38 years having women NOT want to have sex with me
I see it as a good thing........you know........that women did not want to hump you when you were 3 | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 5/5/2008 1:00:45 PM |
Do you find any women attractive? If you do then, I would imagine wanting to have sex with them would be only natural.
I find most women attractive in one way or another. That doesn't mean I think about having sex with all of them.
I see it as a good thing........you know........that women did not want to hump you when you were 3
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