|
|
|
|
|
| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 4/25/2008 10:28:02 AM | I have to agree with mthomjmark comments. I've been to my fair share of bachelor parties and most of them the guy has either crossed the line or gotten so close to the line that it may have well been crossed.
alcohol coupled with peer pressure leads to stupid things. period.
i'm getting married in a couple of months and the last thing i want to do before entering a new life with my fiance is to spend it looking at other naked girls. | |
|
| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 4/25/2008 10:34:44 AM | Not to mention the risk of catching some God-forsaken Disease! It's disguisting & gross!
I never bring Garbage inside my Home!! | |
|
| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 4/25/2008 10:38:04 AM | I can't blame her either. And if anyone says it is about trust...no it is not. I would assume that alcohol would also be involved and in situations such as that...well alcohol + a 3 day porn fest with strippers + men who are about to tie the not = nothing good can happen!
I say tell her to sit down and have a talk with him and put her thoughts and feelings out there. If he decides to go against her wishes...she doesn't need him anyways. Although, she should find some form of compromise....
~Welder's Girl~ | |
|
| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 4/25/2008 10:39:34 AM | "I admit, whenenver I do a wedding, it feels like I'm presiding at a bacchanalian enthronement of a virgin-whore. These are the Christian weddings." - a priest
If she gets to have her orgy (of narcissism) I don't see anything particularly wrong with him having his. If anything it's an uneven deal because his only lasts a couple of days and costs way less.
********************
I agree; neither should be doing anything. If they are that out of control, then they should not be getting married. | |
|
| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 4/25/2008 10:55:01 AM |
LOIS LANE YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING; I've had several friends get married and lay down the law and say no strippers. This victim thing so many people are into is a joke.
What are you talking about? I realize you feel like you know everything, however, there is no victim in my post. If his friends plan a party for him, he's responsible for HIS individual actions/behavior and is accountable to his bride-to-be. How does that make him a victim? He doesn't get a pass for his behavior.
It seems to me this 'laying down of the law' depicts what type of marriage one might have and smacks of controlling. The SO is presumably an adult whom you presumably trust. Going to a bachelor party with strippers and whatnot is a litmus test for that trust and to show if that person is ultimately trustworthy. Frankly, I don't see the problem. If a grown man succumbs to peer pressure after having found the love of his life, to me, he's the same man who will step out on his wife when the going gets rough and, therefore, I would have been saved the trouble.
Trust until given a reason not to. Period.
You may have misunderstood my post. I was affronted she called a woman stupid for marrying a man when there was no claim he did anything wrong in attending his own bachelor party. Some are saying, it's OK to see those things in the strip club (many of which have special rooms for sex--I reported a story on strip clubs and had to go to many as a result, etc) but not OK to have a party in a hotel room. The 'deed' can happen in the club or in the hotel room. He still is accountable for his actions, no matter where he is.
Now, if he didn't want a bachelor party or a wanted something different with his boys, I won't argue that either. It's up to him. In all, if he has sex with a stripper, or anyone other than me, days before the wedding, it wasn't meant to be anyway and I would be hurt but grateful for the heads up.
Come to think of it, maybe it's because I have been to these strip clubs and talked to these strippers that I have this point of view. I don't view them as a threat and, like I said, if I am proven wrong, it means he wasn't for me anyway.
By the way, mthomjmark don't yell at me. There was no cause for it and you are simply being rude and self-righteous. | |
|
| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 4/25/2008 11:28:14 AM | There is a certain amount of trust you need to have in your significant other if you are going to enter into marriage. Coming in with a trust so fragile that you can't handle him having a night out with the guys lookin at girls, probably should tell you something about your future. I agree with most people who have responded to this post. What was described was more than a bachelor party, and it really doesn't seem like something that should be okay. However, going to a stripclub isnt going to hurt anyone really. As far as being drunk, the full nude stripclubs round here dont even serve the stuff. Strictly a juice bar!
Bottom line, if you are going to marry him, you need to trust him. If you are going to marry her, you need to deserve that trust. And vice versa. | |
|
| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 4/25/2008 11:45:07 AM | it's totally dumb and i'd never do it. if you're about to get married you already committed yourself (reference anotehr post of mine to see how i view the marriage document).
women will do some of the same garbage, apparently in wanting to be like men out of jealousy from being held down for so long (women's lib). it's a woman's prerogative to pick and choose what she wants regarding equality, lol
if a guy does that sort of thing, it's disrespectful and he should never have been chosen, but women thrive on going after guys with bad characters...women will not listen to reason | |
|
| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 4/25/2008 12:04:42 PM |
Friends of ours got married recently and both my partner and his brother ( who is soon to be married) went to the bucks night and apparently it was a 3 day complete porn fest with hotel room strippers, live sex shows plus trips to strip clubs and all sorts of crazy things.
I've been to a few of these things in my day... mine, btw, was a night of pool, chicken wings, and beer with friends, no strippers ;-).
One thing I've noticed is that it's almost NEVER the groom's idea. It's very often the planning and execution by his ALREADY married friends that set this up, as if they're trying to live vicariously through him... or, using HIM as an excuse to go do these things again.
In my opinion, it's not the bride to be that should be upset, it's the wives of whoever is organizing this debauch that should be questioning it. Like I said, the groom isn't planning ANY of this stuff, he's just... ahem... along for the ride ;-).
Cowboy | |
|
| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 4/25/2008 12:15:14 PM |
Some are saying, it's OK to see those things in the strip club (many of which have special rooms for sex--I reported a story on strip clubs and had to go to many as a result, etc)
But Chris Rock says:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=S0Vv47myQts
And while arrangements can be made, even *dates* on occasion ;-), there are a lot of big guys with no necks, usually named Vince for some reason, to make sure that rule holds.
There is no sex in the champagne room ;-).
Cowboy | |
|
| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 4/25/2008 12:36:39 PM | Cowboy and mthomjmark,
One thing I've noticed is that it's almost NEVER the groom's idea. It's very often the planning and execution by his ALREADY married friends that set this up, as if they're trying to live vicariously through him... or, using HIM as an excuse to go do these things again.
In my opinion, it's not the bride to be that should be upset, it's the wives of whoever is organizing this debauch that should be questioning it. Like I said, the groom isn't planning ANY of this stuff, he's just... ahem... along for the ride ;-).
That was my point exactly. Thanks to you Cowboy.
"And while arrangements can be made, even *dates* on occasion ;-), there are a lot of big guys with no necks, usually named Vince for some reason, to make sure that rule holds.
There is no sex in the champagne room ;-).
Cowboy, you are correct when you say there is no sex in the champagne room. It is not the champagne room of which I speak.
These rooms are reserved for this activity and are out of the way and off the main floor of the strip club. In my reporting (I was investigating a three-foot law, etc.), I witnessed this with my own eyes. In the clubs in the city in which I did the research all a client needed was to flash the requisite dollar amount to the right person and he was escorted to this area, of which I was not allowed.
Customers confirmed it, as well as, some of the no-neck bouncers of which you speak confirmed it too. I got them to talk to me but none would allow use of their name in the paper, so my editors wouldn't let me report that part of the story. But sex happens in the strip club for a hefty price of which the stripper gets the smaller cut. Those no-neck guys named Vince are simply there to guarantee the client is, indeed, a client and one who is not dangerous. | |
|
| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 4/25/2008 1:04:03 PM | | Want to hear what guys have told me? That those sorts of nights are awkward and they'd rather drink beer and watch sports. Personally, I think I would know my prospective hubby well enough, and would have established already what is and what is NOT appropriate behavior according to me, before I get to the point that I can be "upset" at the bachelor's party! I do not understand people getting married to people they don't know. | |
|
| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 4/25/2008 1:08:35 PM | Thats way too much, a stipper or two, no big deal as long as there isn't any hanky panky (kinda like when you go to a strip club, same rules that apply there).
But what your describing, absolutely not. I would assume my partner has no respect or love for me and be done with it.
Sex shows really? Porn sure but...... | |
|
| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 4/25/2008 1:15:59 PM |
One thing I've noticed is that it's almost NEVER the groom's idea. It's very often the planning and execution by his ALREADY married friends that set this up, as if they're trying to live vicariously through him... or, using HIM as an excuse to go do these things again.
In my opinion, it's not the bride to be that should be upset, it's the wives of whoever is organizing this debauch that should be questioning it. Like I said, the groom isn't planning ANY of this stuff, he's just... ahem... along for the ride ;-).
Well said Cowboy ... sometimes I think married people should be excluded from
weddings and everything leading up to them. Unfortunately many married men
are juveniles. | |
|
| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 4/25/2008 1:17:59 PM | | Complete waste of money. Who wants to hang around with a bunch of guys that couldn't get a date in the first place? They are losers. If they are married and hanging around strip clubs then they are double losers. Hey, bozo, you have a wife, go home to her and stop acting like a 15 year old. If you don't like her, then split up. Don't make her miserable because you want to think and act like a child. | |
|
| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 4/25/2008 1:49:14 PM | ^^^^ Wow, your mom must have been really cool to throw you those kinds of birthday parties. All I ever got was cake, ice cream, and balloons.
> women will do some of the same garbage, apparently in wanting to be like
> men out of jealousy from being held down for so long (women's lib).
No, those are called divorce parties. Women throw `em, men don't.
| |
|
| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 4/25/2008 2:51:32 PM | Surely this shows she doesnt trust him !
Whats the point of marrying someone you dont trust ?
Call the wedding off before it is too late................ | |
|
| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 4/25/2008 3:42:31 PM | You can attack me all you want but it doesn't bother me in the least. Sorry Lois Lane but I dont know everything; but I do know right from wrong; You can be your cool, anything goes style and thats your choice. I appreciate your point of view but I dont have to agree with it. I listen to everyone without freaking out because that's what these are; forums. Sorry for being strong willed; if you dont like it, dont read my posts.
What cracks me up is you rip on her for not accepting it, but yet he has a choice and its cool if he does what he wants? Interesting.
In your philosophy I should let a sexual predator teach at my nieces school as long as he hasn't done anything to her yet. I mean he hasn't affected her or me yet, so we should give him a pass, right? No wrong. Well IMHO, that is as self absorbed as it gets and is the reason so many people are messed up. Ridiculous in my opinion.
Your right, he has the right to do what he wants and he's responsible. But she also has the right to tell him to get bent without people ripping on her.
I'm sorry, but the Bill Clinton, "I didnt' have sexual relations with this women" crap is still sex. She is in her rights to say get lost. | |
|
| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 4/25/2008 3:45:07 PM | Surely this shows she doesnt trust him !
Whats the point of marrying someone you dont trust ?
Call the wedding off before it is too late................
**************
Harabay man I agree with you; without trust there is no relationship and there obviously is a reason for this. | |
|
| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 4/25/2008 3:50:31 PM | I've been to tons of bachelor parties and guys places. In the corporate world strippers and call girls and escorts are used all the time; what your talking about it very different; Dont' tell me what happens I know and I've seen it.
I was in L.A. 3 months ago at a corporate "get together" at a famous office. 3 strippers came in and it was a combined corporate party, and a bachelor party for one of the guys there. Well, lets just say their wives wouldn't have appreciated these guys exposing their future marriage to what these girls might be carrying. There were multiple guys having sex with 2 girls too. There was also a moderately famous person also getting his groove on.
I've never been in a strip joint or been at a bachelor party in a strip joint. Many corporate people or guys in general do not want to be in a public place like that and every party I've been too has been in a private house, or corporate office space where security blocks any outsider.
I could tell you a lot more stories. Thanks for your input thought Lois. I do appreciate everyones point of view but I've seen it all. | |
|
| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 4/25/2008 4:13:27 PM | I've been on some crazy ass stag parties...stuff I would never disclose to my wife (if I were married).
As a single man, they are a blast, but I cannot say I would blame your friend for being upset either. I certainly wouldn't tolerate my behavior in a partner. | |
|
| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 4/25/2008 4:16:22 PM |
Me personally, I'd go see the strippers then go back home and have my own personal sex show with my wife to be. Probably wouldn't even say hello when I walked in the door. Just grab her, bend her over and have at it
You do know most women would be hurt by this, right? You get all hot and bothered by looking at other women and then want to "relieve" yourself with someone you supposedly love? Not cool, dude, tone it down and you can get by with it but the "bend her over and have at it" is tacky and inconsiderate. | |
|
| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 4/25/2008 4:30:34 PM | Precisely because the boys ought to know the girls won't like it, bachelor party details are traditionally kept vague. Regardless of whether you object or don't care, I'm sure we all agree that these guys are fools to spill the details of their he-bop marathon. Cheezits! Some guys will brag about anything!
Chee!
Vulf  | |
|
| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 4/25/2008 4:32:53 PM | mthomjmark,
So full of yourself, you are. First of all, I didn't attack you. You used all caps in addressing my post, which had nothing to do with you. *smh*
"What cracks me up is you rip on her for not accepting it, but yet he has a choice and its cool if he does what he wants? Interesting."
That poster (not the OP but the smileeeee poster above my first msg) called the bride stupid, three times. I said that was uncalled for. Period. He can do whatever he wants as long as he knows there are consequences for behaving in a manner unbecoming an SO. I clearly stated if they are getting married there should be established trust between two adults and he should be able to attend his bachelor party and have a good time without her worrying about him getting drunk and screwing somebody else! What can't you understand? I don't condone cheating or sleeping around, so if that presented itself I wouldn't nor would I suggest the OP or the OP's brother's fiance stick around either but she can't control this man's every waking moment. She is going to have to trust him. That is crux of my post that you seem to ignore.
Instead, what I keep reading is these men can't be trusted, we should ban them from seeing naked women and remove all alcohol to save them from themselves! Oh, please. They are adults. If his friends plan a party for him and schedule strippers, how is it right to blame him for the strippers being there? That doesn't sound rational at all. Instead, I say, trust in the one you love and who loves you that they will do right by you. You are so busy sitting atop your high horse you can't seem to get that. I also stated, "Trust until given a reason not to." It seems some are incapable of that.
"You can be your cool, anything goes style and thats your choice. I appreciate your point of view but I dont have to agree with it."
You keep misreading my posts nor do I need you to agree with me. I said the groom is responsible and accountable for HIS actions. Which in laymen's terms means if he screws someone, or does some other sexual act with someone other than his bride/SO, he should pay the consequences. How is that anything goes? What that is, is trusting him to make the make the right decision on his own, whether it means not screwing a stripper or not having strippers at all. The choice is ultimately his. It seems to me, you are saying the man doesn't love or respect the woman if there are strippers involved. Well, another poster echoed the sentiment that friends are the ones who usually do the planning, so by virtue of your position, he would be guilty of not respecting his wife-to-be/SO by simply appearing? That IS ridiculous.
As to the rest of your post, it's clearly OT. The OP is centered around two adults who know, trust and respect each other. Not some stranger in a school...that's what is referred to as an irrelevant tangent. | |
|
| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 4/25/2008 6:22:08 PM | i think you are being far too american about all this.
it is not adultery because he isnt married yet,he is having a last fling before tying the knot.
it is a tradition going back centuries,once again ladies being me,me,me-why shouldnt he have a good time? | |
|
| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 4/26/2008 11:08:16 AM | once again ladies being me,me,me-why shouldnt he have a good time? - johnlondonsingle
How many men would allow a woman to have a similar bachelor-ette party, including male strippers & porn? I actually knew a
girl back when I was a teen, her fiancee broke it off, because of this "equal" bachelor party idea. What a f*cking hipocrite!
My S/O & I are adults, we have a clear understanding of each other, our relationship & respect for each other. If friends of his
wanted to throw a bachelor party, there would be NO porn or NO strippers. If someone wanted to throw a party for me, same
thing. Equals., with respect for each other. If my man was interested in porn &/or strippers, I would never have been interested
in him in the first place. Throw him back , there are Plenty of Good out there, that's my opinion.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
women will do some of the same garbage, apparently in wanting to be like men out of jealousy from being held down for so long (women's lib). - halfalien
Unfortunately, a lot of sex therapists & so-called sex experts, seem to think we will never be happy, until we are turned into men.
Never occurs to them, that men should ever change, oh no! !
I read a recent issue of Cosmo & even a column by Dan Savage (whose stuff is usually pretty intelligent). They all seem to believe
that the way men do it (when it comes to sex), is the only way to go. Women should all stop being uptight about (& even learn to
enjoy) porn & masturbating. No logical reason, just because guys do it.
Well bullshit, I say. !
| |
|
|
|
Home
login 
