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| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 8/31/2008 2:18:46 PM | The whole idea of bachelor/bachelorette parties weirds me out. The whole "last hurrah" thing... eh. I don't..get it.
eta: I should've clarified... the idea of the stereotypical bachelor/bachelorette party weirds me out. | |
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| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 8/31/2008 2:50:13 PM | I guess my point here is that there are very creative things that guys can do for the “bachelor party” that is a total blast for the guys.
Hopefully, someday my friends will throw a great bachelor party for me.
I’ll leave the stripping and wild sex up to my bride on the wedding night!
Im appointing you to be my partner's best man when we get married  ......I like your attitude.....My man used to go to strip clubs on occassion when he was single and when we got together, i explained to him that i do not respect men who get their 'thrills' from frequenting strip clubs, so if his desire to go there outweighed my feelings of dissaproval, then the r/ship wouldn't work, coz i cannot be with a man i do not respect, so the decision was an easy one for him...MY feelings were more important to him than being turned on by a bunch of naked women 'hustling' to get some of his cash.....
But if a good friend or relative is getting married and he gets invited to go, then i dont mind if he attends......however, if it was something he wanted to do with his buddies just for the hell of it on a weekly or monthly basis, i would find that totally disrespectful to me, and he completely understands and respects my views....i 'get' that men enjoy seeing naked women, but what i dont 'get' is why they would want to spend their valuable time and money with women who use their bodies to tantalize and tease the hell out of you for the sake of a 'hard on' when they have a woman at home who can do the same thing for free..... | |
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| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 8/31/2008 9:11:43 PM | I have looked through the thread and I have not seen one single post from a man who IS in a healthy relationship explaining the first statement. So for the second statement, could you quote the one's who has? I must have missed it.
I read through the entire thread before I posted that comment. I'm not going to go through it again to find exact quotes. In a nutshell, the guys said strip clubs are fun. If you've never been to a strip show (male or female) then perhaps that's hard for you to grasp.
Although this statement is correct it's not really comparable to a man wanting to ogle naked women. It's more comparable to a woman not understanding why a man insist on upgrading his powertoys all the time. Comparing a woman using makeup to a man ogling women is like comparing apples and oranges.
They are comparable because my point was that there are just some things people don't quite understand about the opposite gender. But if you'd like another example, I'll compare it to women who watch soap operas or read sappy romance novels. Those are temporary fantasy worlds that appeal to women's emotional desires. But a woman can watch an hour of dapper Dash Manly, international banker, squiring women to exotic locales on his private jet where he wines and dines them with lobster and Cristal and still be very satisfied with her hubby Bob the plumber who brought home McDonald's for supper. It's the same way guys can check out taut Amber's double D's for an hour and still be satisfied with his wrinkled, chubby wife.
I don't think it's proper for a man in a relationship to attend such parties. And yes, I know a lot of them watch porns but it's not the same.
To compare that is like saying it's okay to have a crush on a live person because it's okay to have a crush on someone in the movies. It's a question about tangible or not.
It's a matter of trust. If you don't trust a man's behavior with a stripper who earns her living *pretending* to be attracted to a man, how can you trust that man around the cute new receptionist who's sincerely interested in him? | |
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| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 8/31/2008 9:51:30 PM |
Those are temporary fantasy worlds that appeal to women's emotional desires. But a woman can watch an hour of dapper Dash Manly, international banker, squiring women to exotic locales on his private jet where he wines and dines them with lobster and Cristal and still be very satisfied with her hubby Bob the plumber who brought home McDonald's for supper. It's the same way guys can check out taut Amber's double D's for an hour and still be satisfied with his wrinkled, chubby wife.
Can I hug you?
Hehehe.
Well said. | |
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| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 8/31/2008 10:17:34 PM |
I read through the entire thread before I posted that comment. I'm not going to go through it again to find exact quotes. Well then I cannot take your post for what it was intended. I do think a statement needs backup as in quoting the source.
In a nutshell, the guys said strip clubs are fun. Of course, nobody has denied that. But that's not what this was about. It was, if I may remind you, about men who are in relationships and whether it's appropriate for them to keep going and disrespect the woman they have at home. I can only take your posts in this matter as an okay for men to tell their "loved" ones to accept it unconditionally.
If you've never been to a strip show (male or female) then perhaps that's hard for you to grasp. Again, that's not what it is about. To try to call someone out like that is not really conducive to this discussion. It's about disrespect, not about if a persons been to a club or not.
They are comparable because my point was that there are just some things people don't quite understand about the opposite gender. I'm sorry but they are not. What you are suggesting is that men, even when in a relationship always will have the urge to go to strip clubs and that's just not true. There are plenty of men who are quite content with spending time with their wives and not to ogle other women.
But if you'd like another example, I'll compare it to women who watch soap operas or read sappy romance novels. Those are temporary fantasy worlds that appeal to women's emotional desires. Maybe that's true for you, it's not for me. And again, it's TV, that's quite different from having someone's boobs dangling in your face.
It's a matter of trust. If you don't trust a man's behavior with a stripper who earns her living *pretending* to be attracted to a man, how can you trust that man around the cute new receptionist who's sincerely interested in him? It's not a matter of trust. If a man wants to cheat he will cheat, if a woman wants to cheat, she will cheat. It's a matter of respecting the person you supposedly love and abstain from activities that is hurtful to him or her. I guess you don't think that is important. | |
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| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 8/31/2008 11:39:00 PM | if I may remind you, about men who are in relationships and whether it's appropriate for them to keep going and disrespect the woman they have at home. I can only take your posts in this matter as an okay for men to tell their "loved" ones to accept it unconditionally.
Words like "appropriate" and "disrespectful" are personal opinions. And I don't think anybody should *tell* their partner how to behave. If two people aren't on the same page on a matter like this, that's a sign of incompatibility that will probably manifest itself in other ways as well. A guy might agree not to go to a strip club because his wife doesn't want him to go but that doesn't necessarily mean the urge will disappear. As I previously stated, that's when men often turn to lying or hiding their activities.
Again, that's not what it is about. To try to call someone out like that is not really conducive to this discussion. It's about disrespect, not about if a persons been to a club or not.
Please stop telling me what this discussion is about. My reading comprehension skills are just fine. It IS relevant whether or not you've been to a strip club because a person who has experienced something first hand tends to have a better understanding of it than a person who hasn't.
What you are suggesting is that men, even when in a relationship always will have the urge to go to strip clubs and that's just not true. There are plenty of men who are quite content with spending time with their wives and not to ogle other women.
I won't disagree that there are plenty of men who don't want to go to strip clubs. But if I might redirect YOU to the point of this discussion, it's not about those men. It's about the men who DO want to go to strip clubs.
Maybe that's true for you, it's not for me. And again, it's TV, that's quite different from having someone's boobs dangling in your face.
If you realize the fact that *in general* women are more emotional while men are more visual, then I don't think the situations are all that different. I think a woman *telling* her husband he can't go to a strip club is just as ridiculous as a man *telling* his wife she can't indulge in unrealistic romantic tales.
It's not a matter of trust. If a man wants to cheat he will cheat, if a woman wants to cheat, she will cheat. It's a matter of respecting the person you supposedly love and abstain from activities that is hurtful to him or her. I guess you don't think that is important.
I agree with what you've said here. For ME, a guy going to a strip club for a bachelor party is neither disrespectful nor hurtful. And I certainly wouldn't be with a guy who thought going to a Chippendale show for a bachelorette party was disrespectful or hurtful to him. I tend to think a relationship in which both parties can be themselves is going to be healthier than the one in which someone is kowtowing to his/her partner. | |
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| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 9/1/2008 7:54:28 AM | But my question still hasn't been answered, read it real carefully !!!
If you are in a healthy relationship, which would mean you are content with your partner, both partner's needs are being met, sex life is great, what is the big need or desire to go off to a strip bar and see some guy or woman peeling off their clothes, what does it do for you? What do you get out of it especially when you are getting it at home? What's the profit in it?
I can understand if you are NOT in a meaningful relationship how that might work for some, but I just don't get it, why you would think it's fine and you've got this wonderful person at home that you can look at and admire etc... | |
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| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 9/1/2008 8:38:12 AM |
And I don't think anybody should *tell* their partner how to behave. If two people aren't on the same page on a matter like this, that's a sign of incompatibility that will probably manifest itself in other ways as well. A guy might agree not to go to a strip club because his wife doesn't want him to go but that doesn't necessarily mean the urge will disappear. We are quite in agreement here. That's why I said that a man should never tell a woman that she has to accept that he wants to go to strip clubs. I think that if a man and a woman is in a relationship that should just not happen. If two people want to have a different lifestyle, whatever that might be, it's up to them but if one of them are not okay with it, and the other person feel that he/she is more interested in keep doing it, it should be brought forth and allow the other person to either accept it or move on. This is not necessarily about stripping, it could be about anything.
It IS relevant whether or not you've been to a strip club because a person who has experienced something first hand tends to have a better understanding of it than a person who hasn't. I'm not quite sure what it is you think I would have a better understanding of. I'm not a man so watching strippers just doesn't do it for me. Furthermore, I don't think it's such a major thing in a guys life that it should be a deal breaker in a relationship. If a guy think it's something he cannot be without, there are other issues at stake here. It's not a natural need, it's a want.
I won't disagree that there are plenty of men who don't want to go to strip clubs. But if I might redirect YOU to the point of this discussion, it's not about those men. It's about the men who DO want to go to strip clubs. No misunderstood, it's about men period. What I'm talking about is men that used to go to strip clubs when they were single have had not problem stop going when they are in a relationship.
I think that men who regard going a need for them to the extent that they will tell their woman to simply accept it have some issues that would need to be addressed. If the need is so strong that he cannot commit to a relationship without that factor, there is something going on.
If you realize the fact that *in general* women are more emotional while men are more visual, then I don't think the situations are all that different. I think a woman *telling* her husband he can't go to a strip club is just as ridiculous as a man *telling* his wife she can't indulge in unrealistic romantic tales.
I don't agree at all. I can only speak for myself but if I was in a relationship and my man wanted to jerk off to a movie now and then, I'd have no problem with that. I would have a problem if he wanted to go to a club, spend money on another woman, possibly have a lap dance and have another woman crawling all over him and arouse him.
Yeah, I'd have a big problem with that. I would also have a big problem if an unknown woman come up to us on the street and start making out with him in the same fashion, or if that happened at a bar. Just because one scene is "professional" and money is involved doesn't make it more acceptable than if a woman did that to him in a bar.
And I certainly wouldn't be with a guy who thought going to a Chippendale show for a bachelorette party was disrespectful or hurtful to him. Now this is your choice, myself I would not pass up a good guy for that reason. If I think it's more important to be able to indulge a want over a steady relationship with a great guy, I'd have my head examined.
I tend to think a relationship in which both parties can be themselves is going to be healthier than the one in which someone is kowtowing to his/her partner. As long as that doesn't include actions and habits that the other person cannot handle. Being himself could be just about anything and not just going to strip clubs. For example, if a man I get close to is using pot, that would be him being himself but I would not want to be part of that either.
For me, what this is about is men who used to go to strip clubs but get into a relationship cannot demand their wives or GF's accept that that will continue. Fortunately I think there are very few men who are addicted to the point that they will jeopardize a healthy relationship.
Now, all that said. If in a relationship and the affection cease and possibly stop or the woman starts sitting on the sofa eating bon-bons and let herself go and don't care about how she presents herself to her man and he choice to go to a club now and then, I wouldn't blame him at all. Sex is a natural part in a relationship and if it's taken away from you....you do what you gotta do. | |
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| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 9/1/2008 8:49:27 AM |
This is not necessarily about stripping, it could be about anything.
You are exactly correct. It could be about anything. This is just one litmus test. Therefore it is clear that this issue is really about compatibility and communication...not morals or gender wars.
To answer your question about why would anyone in a healthy relationship do something that they know will upset their partner???
Simple. It's not a healthy relationship. | |
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| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 9/1/2008 11:19:31 AM |
Those are temporary fantasy worlds that appeal to women's emotional desires. But a woman can watch an hour of dapper Dash Manly, international banker, squiring women to exotic locales on his private jet where he wines and dines them with lobster and Cristal and still be very satisfied with her hubby Bob the plumber who brought home McDonald's for supper. It's the same way guys can check out taut Amber's double D's for an hour and still be satisfied with his wrinkled, chubby wife.
But the women in this scenario are watching a TV show; they are not at a stag party actually interacting with Dapper Dash Manly. They are not fondling his testicles or licking whip cream off his dapper and manly left nut; they are not drooling as they watch him make change for a dollar by spitting quarters out of his sphincter. A more apropos comparison to the Dapper Dash Manly scenario would be the man sitting at home getting twitterpated as he rifles through the latest “Victoria’s Secretion” catalog.
Couples who are mutually into these parties aside, it boggles my mind why anyone in a healthy relationship would want to intentionally disrespect and hurt their sweetheart by engaging in debauched behavior with other women; it seems so cruel, hurtful and downright heartless. For me, physical intimacies (and that includes fondling, touching, licking, caressing, kissing, etc.---gawd it’s HOT in here) are things that should ONLY be shared between the couple in the relationship, and not some stripper who can shoot ballpoint pens outta her twazzer. IMO, anyone who disrespects their partner in this fashion shows a complete lack of character. | |
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| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 9/1/2008 11:43:13 AM | ""Couples who are mutually into these parties aside, it boggles my mind why anyone in a healthy relationship would want to intentionally disrespect and hurt their sweetheart by engaging in debauched behavior with other women; it seems so cruel, hurtful and downright heartless. For me, physical intimacies (and that includes fondling, touching, licking, caressing, kissing, etc.---gawd it’s HOT in here) are things that should ONLY be shared between the couple in the relationship, and not some stripper who can shoot ballpoint pens outta her twazzer. IMO, anyone who disrespects their partner in this fashion shows a complete lack of character""
Absolutely agree and if that's what floats your boat, having to go outside the relationship to get your "visual need" met at a strip bar, then I wouldn't want to get involved with someone like that. Isn't your man woman or woman turning you on enough at home, that you don't have to go oogling some stripper, if not, it's time to reevaluate the relationship. | |
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| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 9/1/2008 12:35:49 PM | | if the groom to be hasnt grown up to the point he cant pass on this last excursion of wild freedom maybe he should really rethink getting married, I feel if the guys want to get together for one last single night guys freedom fest with a few beers and a last look at the women at a local bar as in look but dont touch and dont get turned on isnt enough then she needs to cut him loose until he grows up and becomes a real man and go find a guy that is ready to settle down and be happy with the strip show she puts on for him only.... | |
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| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 9/1/2008 1:37:10 PM | Don't leave Doe's Night out of the discussion. I've heard a lot of women grip about what their SO did, but when they came clean about what THEY did...OMG, they had NO ground to stand on.
It cuts both ways. Both side should not be going out for "one last hurrah". And having talked to a few bouncers working at a club that did a weekly Chippindales night, the ladies were the wildest and hardest to control (compared to the men on regular strip nights).
My "Bucks Night", "Bachelor Party", whatever you want to call it...consisted of 1 case of "Sweet China" (beer that is no longer in production) and a bunch of Nintendo games...Drink Beer, Shoot Stuff...it was a perfect night. | |
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| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 9/1/2008 2:28:30 PM | Healthy relationship to whom? A woman might think the relationship is healthy yet the man doesn't? What a woman considers a healthy relationship may not be necessarily healthy to a man. We have different values, these alone will be different. If a woman has to go elsewhere to get attention it maybe it is because the woman is hard to deal or talk to. Men don't simply just go to get all excited watching women. Sure the singles ones probably does. But honestly man go to talk to these women. Talk without being judged at and all. There is no games with them, both know what is involved. Frankly a strip joint is nothing to get excited about. In reality it isn't about the sexual part in some cases. If there was a bar where you go and talk to women with the same situation. A stripper is less likely to blow you off if you want to talk to her.
I have yet met a woman that knows truly how to communicate. Sure they can communicate their needs and wants. But they do lack in listening skills. Listening skill is the hardest part in communication but also the most important. If you don't know exactly what the other person is trying to say it's pointless how to resolve a problem.
If your man goes to the strip bar instead of demanding or getting upset, one should talk to him and find out why he does. When one truly listens and understands then one will work out with a solution. Just because a person is insulted, upset and feel disrespected doesn't mean that's the clear intention.
If you keep on ending a relationship because you feel you were treated wrongly then you will have a hard time finding a relationship you will be truly happy with in your life time. | |
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| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 9/1/2008 2:37:30 PM |
And having talked to a few bouncers working at a club that did a weekly Chippindales night, the ladies were the wildest and hardest to control (compared to the men on regular strip nights). I'll definitely vouch that women at male revues are 20 times wilder than men at a women's strip club. Women are also allowed to touch a whole lot more than men are. | |
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| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 9/1/2008 7:37:31 PM |
Plus, a HUGE difference (well, not "huge," by any stretch of the imagination...damn it all to hell) was that the guys didn't take off their g-strings. You couldn't SEE anything. Okay, his ass. But that's all. Women at strip clubs are NAKED. Men are not. Not always. There are plenty of topless-only bars. Around here, if the club is fully nude, it's alcohol-free, and most men want to drink. They'll take topless and a thong with their beer over naked and drinking soda.
Plus, the women were all going wild, yes. But wild with laughter because of the "novelty" of it, not wild hoping they could get a piece of him. Well, maybe some were. But mostly it was just hilarious, because of the obvious "role reversal," for lack of a better phrase, aspect of it. Not necessarily. I dated a stripper years ago (he always wanted me at his shows, so I usually sat back and watched.) Just because you and I don't get off on it doesn't mean other women don't. | |
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| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 9/1/2008 8:04:14 PM |
I don't think most men go to see women strip so they can get a big laugh out of it.
This is precisely why I think some of the women here should visit a strip club with a group of guys. I think you'd be surprised how much it's about laughter.
I think that men who regard going a need for them to the extent that they will tell their woman to simply accept it have some issues that would need to be addressed. If the need is so strong that he cannot commit to a relationship without that factor, there is something going on.
This thread is about bachelor parties, not frequent visits to the strip club. There's a big difference between a special occasion that comes around once every couple years and having a regular Friday night perch in the front row of the Titty Shack.
Now this is your choice, myself I would not pass up a good guy for that reason. If I think it's more important to be able to indulge a want over a steady relationship with a great guy, I'd have my head examined.
You're missing the point. To me, a bachelor/bachelorette party is one harmless night of fun. The sort of guy that would be opposed to me attending is probably either too tightly wound or too jealous for me. I might agree not to go but I'm quite certain that whatever issues he has will pop up again and again in other situations. That's one of those red flags that people seem to ignore. If a guy was insistent on attending such a bachelor party despite your pleas that would probably be a red flag for you. | |
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| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 9/1/2008 8:17:48 PM | Yeah, but topless is still "naked." It's acceptable for men to go around without shirts on; not so for women. And what does a thong cover, really? Not much.
Actually in New York and Ontario, Canada a woman can legally go topless. It is her right to do so.
http://www.thethinkingblog.com/2007/03/support-topless-women.html
http://gotopless.org/news.php?item.3.1
Wow I'd lost track of this one. The other poster is right...Grape you HATE men.
No, Wan, I do not hate MEN...Definitive word being MEN. I hate little boys in men suits, however.
Are you ok? Are you on meds? Nobody said you hated men. I guess you're showing your true colors? Insults are pretty childish.
Msg: 52
Back on topic..... I have witnessed women being much more crude than men when it comes to strippers. About 20 years ago I worked as a DJ in a male strip club and let me tell you... there was definitely no "3 foot rule" and the mob mentality was much worse than anything I've ever witnessed at a female strip club.
Well well how come guys don't act like that? | |
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| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 9/1/2008 8:49:30 PM |
This is precisely why I think some of the women here should visit a strip club with a group of guys. I think you'd be surprised how much it's about laughter. Well I don't know what clubs you frequent but last week when I was in one there were no groups of guys laughing. There were men sitting alone at tables in the dark and as one left while I was leaving he asked me if I knew where there was a massage parlor......
Nobody was laughing, one man was standing paralyzed at the stage tucking bill after bill into the strippers clothing. So no, don't tell me that it's about laughing.
This thread is about bachelor parties, not frequent visits to the strip club. At this point it's both, sometimes that happens to threads.
Msg 182 has told us about fun bachelor parties, why can't more men/women have such parties? Why does it always have to involve naked women? Why does the "last" night in freedom hav to involve ogling naked women and possibly more? Why? Single men can do that all they want but for a stag night, why can't they just do something creative and fun? The stripper(s) will be encouraged to get close to the groom to be and with booze and peer pressure present he might just go too far and do something he would later regret. Why would friends want that to happen for a friend? Why won't friends let the last night be something he will remember as a fun event with his buddies? Yes, I know some people will say it's "fun" but wouldn't it be more fun to treat him to sky diving or something else he's never done before than spend money on women to shove their crotch in his face who might very well even be on drugs? How is this fun and something to remember? | |
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| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 9/1/2008 9:24:02 PM |
Well I don't know what clubs you frequent but last week when I was in one there were no groups of guys laughing. There were men sitting alone at tables in the dark and as one left while I was leaving he asked me if I knew where there was a massage parlor......
Nobody was laughing, one man was standing paralyzed at the stage tucking bill after bill into the strippers clothing. So no, don't tell me that it's about laughing.
It's about talking with the women, yes sometimes men laugh. You go one time to some sleazy low scale strip bar and you think that pertains to all of them? Why would you go in the first place if it offends you so much? | |
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| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 9/1/2008 9:42:46 PM | | Now you are changing the subject slightly to your benefit. Do you like going in circles or would you like to stick to one area of the topic? Obviously you haven't been to one so you have no clue. When I was younger I used to go. I talked with many of them. Many of the strippers enjoy talking, okay not all. Yes some men go there to get their rocks off or try to pick up a woman but usually they won't succeed. | |
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| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 9/1/2008 9:50:53 PM | | If I was her, I would be wondering if I had to return ALL the gifts since this marriage is over before it even starts. | |
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| bucks nights and strippers
Posted: 9/1/2008 9:54:53 PM |
Why would you go in the first place if it offends you so much? Excuse me? Where did you learn to read? I have not said they offend me.
You go one time to some sleazy low scale strip bar and you think that pertains to all of them? Where were you? I didn't see you? I assume you were there since you seem to think you KNOW where I went?
Don't make things up. Read what I wrote and don't change the facts if you're going to comment on them. | |
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