|
|
|
|
|
| Que Sera, Sera!
Posted: 4/25/2008 1:48:29 PM | Thanks, ug. I caught up and caught on, I hope.
The phrase doesn't mean anything. Your boy was hopeful (to be kind). He was also silly enough to try to trap you with your own words into canoodling. The phrase didn't mean a thing to him, except as a tool of persuasion.
Now, why do you expect a vague phrase to mean the same thing to different people in any context? Vague is vague!
Cheers!
Vulf  | |
|
| Whatever Happens Happens
Posted: 4/25/2008 1:48:38 PM | I have always understood that with that said, it's understood, that you are both adults and the night has no expectations. You can eat or not eat, get coffee or not, go anyplace or no place. Basically you go with what you are comfortable with, BOTH OF YOU.
That guy the OP met, was just a CHEESEBALL.
My advice. Run From Them!!!
Good Luck..
 | |
|
| Whatever Happens Happens
Posted: 4/25/2008 1:55:04 PM |
Now, why do you expect a vague phrase to mean the same thing to different people in any context? Vague is vague!
Up until last week I didn't expect it to mean anything specific at all...and even after he mentioned it and I corrected him about MY meaning of it, I didn't question it until a couple more people chimed in on it in retrospect. Ahh well!
I have always understood that with that said, it's understood, that you are both adults and the night has no expectations. You can eat or not eat, get coffee or not, go anyplace or no place. Basically you go with what you are comfortable with, BOTH OF YOU.
Quite so.
My advice. Run From Them!!!
I ran (jogged) all 10 blocks or so back while looking over my shoulder, but I waited for him to order a beer and start drinking it first as a diversion - so as not to tempt him to run after me. It worked (somehow). | |
|
| Whatever Happens Happens
Posted: 4/25/2008 1:56:00 PM | | I would take that phrase as there is a possibility of sexual things to come because said sayer of phrase has not set rules on said sexual subject... just being honest. | |
|
| Whatever Happens Happens
Posted: 4/25/2008 1:56:43 PM | Whatever Happens Happens
I don't believe I've uttered this sentiment on a first date. My mindset about this expression is that it's pretty much meaningless. If my date said that to me, I'd probably just ignore it; if for some reason I thought it was something negative, I'd politely ask for clarification. I can't see this being a positive statement. | |
|
| Whatever Happens Happens
Posted: 4/25/2008 1:59:57 PM | When he quoted you you could have responded " well, what happened was I realized you don't do it for me and if that's too complicated for ya - that's one of the reasons WHY you don't do it for me "
 | |
|
| Whatever Happens Happens
Posted: 4/25/2008 2:00:23 PM |
I would take that phrase as there is a possibility of sexual things to come because said sayer of phrase has not set rules on said sexual subject... just being honest.
Let's say that sayer of phrase has made it abundantly clear that it's just two beers and a game of pool...repeatedly. What then would you think? No rules in writing, but a good indication that it's "hands off"...
Unless it's got to be specifically stated that there will be no sex (!!) under any circumstances (!!) during the meeting. To which, of course the other person always says, "oh of course not, what kind of guy do you think I am?"
It's not always the same when you're face to face tho. | |
|
| Whatever Happens Happens
Posted: 4/25/2008 2:01:15 PM | It's really weird how ambiguous that phrase is to some guys and how obvious it is to the rest of us. I see it like your friends did, ub.
| |
|
| Whatever Happens Happens
Posted: 4/25/2008 2:05:03 PM | It seems that it may mean a world of difference depending on the gender, but I hope not. - uglybetty
Oh come on, practically everything, except for the most perfectly clear things (:ie- 2x2=4, what time is it?)
mean something different to men & women. ROFLMFAO!
I have never (as far as I can remember, anyway) used this expression, but my personal experience of it being used by men,
is that they are VERY open to the idea of sex, but not to the idea of a relationship. They'll get into one, by accident, but not
by planning or intent. And they don't want to have to work at it, either. And NO committments!
Which is generally why this expression sets off my "flake" detector! 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
As far as men using the phrase to get some sex, well! That's what we use most everything for, so I don't see how this
phrase is anything special in that regard. - shieldvulf
ROFLMFAO!
Wow, that was refreshingly honest, shieldvulf! | |
|
| Whatever Happens Happens
Posted: 4/25/2008 2:10:32 PM |
I would take that phrase as there is a possibility of sexual things to come because said sayer of phrase has not set rules on said sexual subject... just being honest.
Let's say that sayer of phrase has made it abundantly clear that it's just two beers and a game of pool...repeatedly. What then would you think? No rules in writing, but a good indication that it's "hands off"...
Unless it's got to be specifically stated that there will be no sex (!!) under any circumstances (!!) during the meeting. To which, of course the other person always says, "oh of course not, what kind of guy do you think I am?"
It's not always the same when you're face to face tho.
Whatever Happens Happens
I don't believe I've uttered this sentiment on a first date. My mindset about this expression is that it's pretty much meaningless. If my date said that to me, I'd probably just ignore it; if for some reason I thought it was something negative, I'd politely ask for clarification. I can't see this being a positive statement.
Semantics, but it was supposed to have a "non-meaning" to it. I sort of meant it to be non-committal, low key, casual - as only it could be before I knew him personally.
When he quoted you you could have responded " well, what happened was I realized you don't do it for me and if that's too complicated for ya - that's one of the reasons WHY you don't do it for me "
lol | |
|
| Whatever Happens Happens
Posted: 4/25/2008 2:14:27 PM | Let's say that sayer of phrase has made it abundantly clear that it's just two beers and a game of pool...repeatedly. What then would you think? In that context, I'd think she was challenging me to a spirited game of pool and that maybe she thought she could win, so maybe I'd reply innocently "don't sing it, bring it".  | |
|
| Que Sera, Sera!
Posted: 4/25/2008 2:14:44 PM | So ug, now we know. You expect a boy you've told not to expect your hot, wet, monkey love not to expect your hot, wet, monkey love? You don't really know a lot of boys like that, do you?
This isn't about the phrase at all. This is about boys keep swingin', and OPie wants them to turn it off when she says so. She could say, "touch me and I'll kill you," and most will still try, one way or another. (Whining and begging are also very popular.)
Cheers!
Vulf | |
|
| Que Sera, Sera!
Posted: 4/25/2008 2:21:30 PM |
Let's say that sayer of phrase has made it abundantly clear that it's just two beers and a game of pool...repeatedly. What then would you think? No rules in writing, but a good indication that it's "hands off"...
and where would you fit in"whatever happens, happens?... Then it's meaningless. It's a couple of beers and a game of pool... not whatever happens, happens.
If someone had not stated anything about sex prior to this date and said... beers, pool and whatever happens, happens could mean tons of stuff. If I go on a first date and I could never see myself dating that person and I think she's really attractive well then I might try and see what "happens" (ie, sex) ... If I like the girl and see a second date, I'll send her home. That isn't a guy thing either, most of my female friends share the same opinion.
Whatever happens, happens is ambiguous but my head always makes it think there's a possibility of sex regardless of what is said out loud. | |
|
| Whatever Happens Happens
Posted: 4/25/2008 2:25:51 PM | In a word, yes.
Are {we} really to the point that we must speak in "see spot run" to be understood?
Thanks for informing the rest of us that this happens, Betty. I'll definitely be more careful with that phrase now. | |
|
| Whatever Happens Happens
Posted: 4/25/2008 2:35:43 PM |
I just want to know for sure if this is universally taken that way so that I don't say it anymore.
The problem with this phrase is that it's too vague. It can be interpreted diffently by different people. I recommend that people be more specific and direct in their communication so that there is less confusion about expectations. | |
|
| Whatever Happens Happens
Posted: 4/25/2008 2:41:39 PM |
The problem with this phrase is that it's too vague. It does sound much like that Vegas catch phrase "Whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas", so it's possible that a guy might be thinking of debauchery after hearing his date say that. | |
|
| Whatever Happens Happens
Posted: 4/25/2008 3:09:20 PM | In that context, I'd think she was challenging me to a spirited game of pool and that maybe she thought she could win, so maybe I'd reply innocently "don't sing it, bring it".
Now THAT, I have no problem with.
So ug, now we know. You expect a boy you've told not to expect your hot, wet, monkey love not to expect your hot, wet, monkey love? You don't really know a lot of boys like that, do you?
LOL...I thought that after like 18, some self control and common sense applied.
This isn't about the phrase at all. This is about boys keep swingin', and OPie wants them to turn it off when she says so. She could say, "touch me and I'll kill you," and most will still try, one way or another. (Whining and begging are also very popular.)
Cheers!
Vulf
Yes, I do want them to turn it off when I say so...lol - or at least understand that it should be mutual before anything progresses.
and where would you fit in"whatever happens, happens?... Then it's meaningless. It's a couple of beers and a game of pool... not whatever happens, happens.
It is if someone's trying to get a feel for my interest or intention prior to a meeting, when I can't exactly answer it.
If someone had not stated anything about sex prior to this date and said... beers, pool and whatever happens, happens could mean tons of stuff. If I go on a first date and I could never see myself dating that person and I think she's really attractive well then I might try and see what "happens" (ie, sex) ... If I like the girl and see a second date, I'll send her home. That isn't a guy thing either, most of my female friends share the same opinion.
Trying is sort of the opposite of stuff happening on it's own no? That would be an agenda in a sense...
Whatever happens, happens is ambiguous but my head always makes it think there's a possibility of sex regardless of what is said out loud.
From what I can see, anything that's vague (thank you Vulf) is going to be taken in a sexually opportunist fashion by men, no? Safer to drop the disclaimer?
I can certainly see hoping for more, and silently being bummed when it doesn't happen...that I expect... | |
|
| Whatever Happens Happens
Posted: 4/25/2008 3:16:09 PM | I guess I would think it means .....Whatever happens, happens
???
Now I'll read the responses and see what it is I'm not getting about this question.
Ahh! Now, I didn't even take it as having to do with sex
He asked if I was interested, I firmly but not rudely told him I wasn't, that being the reason we met in the first place. He then asked if I would sleep with him (which I thought was the same as being interested, but I digress), and I said "no, of course not."
He then mentioned that I had said "whatever happens, happens" to him several times before we met. I took it as I might like him or not, he took it as "whoa, lemme bring extra condoms".
I think he was extremely presumptious. I take the phrase "whatever happens, happens" to include the possibility of nothing happening
| |
|
| Whatever Happens Happens
Posted: 4/25/2008 3:43:39 PM | I have never (as far as I can remember, anyway) used this expression, but my personal experience of it being used by men, is that they are VERY open to the idea of sex, but not to the idea of a relationship. They'll get into one, by accident, but not
by planning or intent. And they don't want to have to work at it, either. And NO committments!
I don't remember ever saying it either, but with the exception of changing "VERY open to the idea of sex" to "QUITE open or RELATIVELY open to the idea of sex," that's basically how I live (including dating).
Which is generally why this expression sets off my "flake" detector!
Ah, it's not so flakey. It's sensible. It makes for good dates (with or without sex), good sex (with or without a relationship/commitment) and good relationships. For me, anyway. | |
|
| Whatever Happens Happens
Posted: 4/25/2008 4:10:53 PM | Having lived through four children's teenage years who are now grown...."whatever" I heard a LOT! 
Whatever means...whatever....it's open-ended meaning no presumed, expected result (if that's the word).
It's purposefully ambiguous, when meeting or getting to know someone...it's not putting up expectations or limitations on what may or may not "happen".
I can only speak for myself, but my only expectation is to have a relaxed and pleasant time. Some interesting conversation, few laughs thrown in is good. That's it.
I don't keep track of...when did he call..how long since he called, how many emails...ehh...should I call...blek!
To use the phrase "making it more difficult than it should be"....I have no wishes or desires to make mine or anyone else's life more complicated, confusing or frustrating.
It's really pretty simple, if there's mutual interest, then it does "happen". Maybe not when or how someone else may think.
Who cares, I don't have a schedule, timetable or agenda for any of it. Works well for me, I won't change a thing. | |
|
| Whatever Happens Happens
Posted: 4/25/2008 4:27:25 PM | | Betty - great post. Hmm, when I think "whatever happens, happens". Geez, in my case "shit happens" Ok, better yet, "what will be, will be". "Go with the flow". | |
|
| Whatever Happens Happens
Posted: 4/25/2008 4:31:05 PM | This thread has been extremely educational... Now not only are we expected to make it specifically clear that it doesn't mean sex, unless we say it means sex...In which case since we said it included sex, we are NOW obligated to have sex...
 Shakes head several times...
I have chatted with this guy on the phone a couple times, he has asked me each time we've talked, if we are having sex when we meet. I have repeatedly said NO...
Gosh being a thread reader, seems a sure fire way to get the emotional crap beat out of you is if you find someone sex worthy on a first date, you automatically get awarded the "Biggest Ho" award.
If you talk about sex, or initiate a talk that includes sex, then you are still promising to have sex with the other person. If you don't have sex when them, and they were expecting it, then you win the "Biggest Pr!ck Tease" award.
No wonder I miss the good ol days, where meeting a person for the first time, simply meant getting to know a person without fearing that anything that is said can be interpreted as a sign of wanting to have sex on a first date, or any other couple dates after the fact.
In fact I really miss the days (and this apparently ages the he!! out of me) that when I said no, it wasn't questioned, pushed, or asked again unless I seemed receptive to very slow acts of light touching of the hand, and maybe even going so far as a hug, and a kiss...
What is it with the mentality these days that men (women, don't date them so I don't know) think just because a woman says yes to meeting you, that she is also saying yes to sex??? (which goes back to unless she spells it out NO!!!! before the date/meeting even occurs..)
If this post seems confusing...No kidding, I am truly confused...
Whatever happens, happens is ambiguous but my head always makes it think there's a possibility of sex regardless of what is said out loud.
If a guy can keep it in their head, with out begging pleding, threatening, then accusing the woman leading him on, that is one thing... However I have read plenty of threads where guys will even "hit it" without having any interest in the woman, but felt hey since she was willing to put out, why not take it???
I don't mean to sound like any morals police, but dang this dating stuff gets more complicated than ever... No wonder people fear a first date/meeting? No wonder people take up a million different hobbies, including but not limited to collecting cats... No wonder it seems so hard to make a connection with all of these misinterpretations and unspoken expectations, that seem to become an implied contract...
Year round golfing is looking better and better...   | |
|
| Whatever Happens Happens
Posted: 4/25/2008 4:48:21 PM |
He then mentioned that I had said "whatever happens, happens" to him several times before we met. I took it as I might like him or not, he took it as "whoa, lemme bring extra condoms".
what I find interesting is that somehow he seemed to get the idea that it automatically meant sex.
Like, what if "Whatever" was a trip to the emergency room or helping a friend move?
Usually, when *I* say it, I mean what a lot of women on this thread have said "If we hit it off, great. If not, no problem." And by Great! I don't mean "It's Business TIME" I mean, we can go out again, we can talk some more, we can kiss goodnight and take steps toward a RELATIONSHIP, not a booty call.
And, if we don't hit it off, then I've enjoyed a nice night out and can continue my quest.
I had one man compliment me then ask me if I thought he could get lucky. Initially I'd replied that I thought he should have no problem. Then I realized I had to clarify what he meant by "lucky". Because *I* meant that he had an interesting enough profile and nice photos so he should have plenty of luck generating interest.
He might have meant "can I get a booty call".
I find that it's best to be as specific as possible because people will hear what they want to hear based on what they're looking for (or their idea of what a relationship is).
For some people, "Whatever happens, happens" means "If you want to get laid, I'll accomopdate you, whether we're actually into each other or not." Because that's what they're looking for. | |
|
| Whatever Happens Happens
Posted: 4/25/2008 4:52:50 PM | | When I agree to meet someone and say what ever happens happens it simply means that no matter what happens it`ll be all good.My feelings won`t be hurt if we don`t hit it off . | |
|
| Whatever Happens Happens
Posted: 4/25/2008 4:52:51 PM |
It is if someone's trying to get a feel for my interest or intention prior to a meeting, when I can't exactly answer it.
What is difficult about, "Just a couple drinks some pool and no pressure or expectations. Just fun and a chance to get better acquainted" ?
Most women can run circles around me language-wise. This would not be one of those women, and goes to show the trouble that comes with generalisations
Her date was a bit of a tool, and clearly not that bright. Desperate guys don't get laid so his tactic shoots himself in the foot aswell as annoys the OP.
But for the record when going on a date and a woman said "whatever happens, happens" 9 times out of 10 I got or was offerred sex by the end of the date. So it is understandable how some will be confused by it thinking it is "code", much like the 3am call asking if you want to come over to watch a movie. | |
|
|
| Page 2 of 7
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
|
Home
login 
