| Women, Would you?
Posted: 4/26/2008 12:41:14 PM | In the wild, it is always the strongest, healthiest, specimens who attract the strongest, healthiest mates. Survival of the fittest - harsh, but true.
I am sure you are a wonderful man, open and honest. You however, shouldn't broadcast that you have a disability, unless you can handle the censorship. Not everyone understands. Not everyone wants to get involved with someone who has medical problems. I am sure that there is someone out there that will accept your medical condition, and will be willing to embrace the problems that will arise from it.
Good luck
JMO | |
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| Women, Would you?
Posted: 4/26/2008 3:02:43 PM | I have known people with epilepsy. It is a controlable ailment. If I were younger, I would certainly date you. I dated and married a wonderful man who was bi-polar. We had 25 great years together until he died of cancer in 1994. Of course there were problems when he didn't take his medication..
I give you credit for not driving. We had a friend who had severe episodes of epilepsy where he would black out for sevral minutes at a time. His doctor allowed him to drive.
He tooks his meds faithfully.
One day on his way to work, he blacked out and drove almost 1500 feet before he hit a 16 year old girls car waiting at a traffic light and shoved her under a semi. she was killed immediately and David was and is still devastated. He went to prision for 3 years believe it or not..like it was his fault.
I am so sorry that people are so shallow and cannot see you are a real person who happens to have a physical/ailment. I sometimes have the same problem with being fat. We are who we are and no one is perfect except God.
good luck | |
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| Women, Would you?
Posted: 4/26/2008 8:00:45 PM | i think you sell short the ppl who are being honest with you by not getting involved with you. epilepsy is hard enough with someone who does understand what it is. and scuse me, but most jurisdictions require you to be so many months/years seizure free before issueing you a liscense to drive a car. if you dont have that privaledge, chances are good that you are still trying to control your seizure activity.
you are being honest with these ppl by admitting to them your epilepsy,,, they are being just as honest with you by declinging involvement with you. I wont deal with men who smoke, or drink a lot. everyone has their things they wont deal with. its not being superficial, its being real. its them saying "hey, ,i am just not prepared to do this" thats just being honest about the situation.
i went out with a gentleman recently, had a wonderful time. we talked quite a bit the week post first date,, and within that week, he was hospitalized. I dont think he had really been honest with me about the extent of his heart condition and what a girl who gets involved with him could expect. I am not prepared to play nursemaid to a man i just met. call me shallow if you want, but thats being honest about the situation. I dont think its fair or healthy to attempt to build a relationship out of ones illness and need/desire for a caregiver. dont get me wrong, the date was wonderful, he is a dear man, i am just not prepared to attempt to build a relationship under these conditions. a month later, after that first date/meeting and i cut off contact with him, siting this very thing. this is much more than a quirky habit thing. we are talking his very mortality. | |
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| Women, Would you?
Posted: 4/26/2008 10:02:33 PM | It wouldn't bother me to date a man with Epilepsy. If he didn't mind dating someone who had migraines or who had a child. If someone trusted me enough to tell me that they had Epilepsy and could not drive because of it, and I wanted to meet them BEFORE I knew that, it would not change my mind about them, it's not a bg deal, so I make an accomidation and clean out my car and pick them up, lol. Not a big deal. Heck, we can compare anti-seizure medications (they are using anti-seizure medications to treate migraines).
For me, it comes down to the person. | |
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| Women, Would you?
Posted: 4/26/2008 10:22:42 PM | | I HAVE dated someone who didn't drive due to epilepsy, so it doesn't bother me. But then again, very few medical conditions DO bother me. Both of my kids are on the autism spectrum (which apparently makes ME undateable), my brother has epilepsy, and three of my friends have cerebral palsy, multiple sclerosis, and muscular dystrophy. | |
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| Women, Would you?
Posted: 4/27/2008 1:24:45 AM | my dad is an epileptic,and when it was first determined (his first seizure was about 3 years ago) my sister and i had to do all the driving for him,unless his girlfriend (now his wife) was available to.the only person who had a problem with it was actually my dad.
even people who dont have epilepsy dont drive- my one buddy is 27 and still hasnt gotten his license.just hasnt felt like it.
if someone has a problem with a medical condition you cant help,too bad for them.its their loss. | |
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| Women, Would you?
Posted: 4/27/2008 1:54:29 AM |
I am sure you are a wonderful man, open and honest. You however, shouldn't broadcast that you have a disability, unless you can handle the censorship. Not everyone understands. Not everyone wants to get involved with someone who has medical problems.
Honesty is always the best policy. IMO
if someone has a problem with a medical condition you cant help,too bad for them.its their loss.
My sentiments exactly.
Best wishes | |
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| Women, Would you?
Posted: 4/27/2008 2:49:40 AM | | i guess im a bit different on this subject. I use to know a man that had epilepsy. he was a sweet man but i watched him have a spell from epilepsy and it scared me to death. so i would not. it would have to end at freinds only. It does not mean the guy isnt a great guy. my opinion is based strickly off fear and fear alone. | |
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| Women, Would you?
Posted: 4/27/2008 5:43:27 AM | if someone has a problem with a medical condition you cant help,too bad for them.its their loss.
now see, thats a load of manure. how come its ok and noble for him to be honest about his condition but ppl who are just as honest about not wanting to deal with that sort of thing are somehow less noble for their honesty? how come the second is the loser? how do you so arbitrarily assign such bull to a person? I guess it would be better in your opinion that the ppl get attached to one another and then in the final result, person #2 is finally honest months down the road and says then they were never prepared to deal with this. thats right,, get the guy happy and attached and then break his heart. yeah,, i can see how that makes perfect sence to someone who would say " too bad for them, its their loss".
c'mon ppl,, get real already. | |
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| Women, Would you?
Posted: 4/27/2008 5:55:14 AM | | TTTTTHHHHHHAAAAANNNNNNKKKKKK YYYYOOOOOUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Women, Would you?
Posted: 4/27/2008 6:47:44 AM | | lipgloss that was rather a mean post at the end. too bad for them ...its their loss. u should be careful what u say ...God hears all ...and u jsut might pay for that statement. I know a lady that put down on somene's little problem and she later had a baby born with the same problem that she made fun of. watch what u say. it can come back to haunt you. | |
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| Women, Would you?
Posted: 4/27/2008 8:00:30 AM | Well OP, how long have you had it? the Doctors will take your license immediately upon diagnosis and depending on the type of epilepsy you could get your license back after a few yrs seizure free with medication.
Talk with your Doc.
And if someone can't handle the fact you have a medical condition that prevents you from driving do you really want to bother with that person?? | |
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| Women, Would you?
Posted: 6/8/2008 9:28:52 PM | | old thread but i was just searching forums and came acrossed it.. i have Epilepsy (grandmal seizures) but i havent had one since i was 6 years old.im 38 know. went to my dr a few years ago and had a talk , he took me off my medicine for awhile to see how i do. i could get my license for 5 years like a normal human instead of 2 years..he told me if i would have a seizure id have to go back on meds and back to getting my license every 2 years.been off the meds for 3 years know and havent had a seizure..my problem is getting a date because of it... | |
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| Women, Would you?
Posted: 6/9/2008 9:30:56 AM | | My first gf had Epilepsy, she asked me out from a hospital bed...not the most romantic but we were only 16. I did not have anything against it, I had another friend at the time with Epilepsy and knew a fair bit about it. We dated for a while, and it was high school crap, not the Epilepsy that broke us up in the end. I find it's best to be honest about it, some one may not care about the fact that you have something, but be really ticked off that you lied about it. | |
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| Women, Would you?
Posted: 6/9/2008 2:41:52 PM | | Alan...sorry you cant get a date. Have you tried the Epilepsy forums. You are not alone. Also you can move. The state laws vary. I move hahaha. You caught me I am an Epileptic rebel. Driving today but who knows about tomorrow. The dating issue isnt so much about the driving its more about the seizures. Nobody likes to see them. | |
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| Women, Would you?
Posted: 6/9/2008 4:01:14 PM | That would not bother me. I dated a guy in LA who was so dyslexic he could not drive. He was a bad back seat driver though He memorized the entire Calif DMV handbook and told me about every infraction I committed when I drove. Other than that, it was fine. He dumped me for a Brazilian model though. | |
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| Women, Would you?
Posted: 6/9/2008 4:19:34 PM | Went to HS with an epileptic..........worked with one..and my husband had seizure when he got brain cancer much like and epileptic seizure........
So if someone wouldnt date one thats their choice....I would wonder what they would do if they were involved with someone, and they had a head injury or for some other reason started to seizure.
The person that I worked with would just stare off into space, but did so at least 10 times an hour for 20 to 30 seconds.
OP I think honesty is the best way to go.......you may go through 100 ducks till you find the swan but it well be worth it.
Good Luck......................... | |
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| Women, Would you?
Posted: 6/9/2008 4:20:39 PM | I read your profile, knowing you had epilepsy and still thought, if only he were older, lived closer, had some religious beliefs....never once did I think Oh darn he has epilepsy.
If you are getting turned down by women because of the epilepsy thing then they are definately the wrong ones for you because they are shallow and can't get past minor inconveniences. How well would they do if anything major came alone? How long would they stay if the going ever got tough.
Honestly you sound like a great catch, hang in there and don't worry about others ' misfortune because of their poor choices.
You will find your dream someday and you won't have to settle. | |
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| Women, Would you?
Posted: 6/9/2008 6:41:28 PM | I hate to play devil's advocate on this, but the real question should be: will someone that's probably never seen a seizure be able to deal with it when you have one. Forgive me, but if you're not driving, that means you've had on in the last 6 months or are prone to breakthrough seizures. My niece has epilepsy, that's how I know about the driving. My dog has epilepsy, that's how I know how stress full and emotionally draining a bad series of seizures can be to watch/experience. When either has a seizure, I feel very helpless. But, it doesn't change who they are or how I feel about them.
Anyway, be up-front and be honest, and do it in the beginning: Here's my situation, this is what it means, if this isn't something you can deal with then we should say good bye here, no hard feelings. Give her a few seconds, then get on with the date and be the regular, normal guy you are. If you treat that part of the conversation like it's not a problem and not a big deal to you and it shouldn't be a big deal to her. Then you just showed her it's really is not a big deal, if she does bolt, use that to meet the cute waitress or bar tender.
When life gives you lemons, grab some salt and tequila! When you're good and drunk, go kick life's ass!
Erick | |
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| Women, Would you?
Posted: 6/9/2008 7:01:09 PM | ummm so I have epilepsy, and I don't drive because of it. Haven't had a seizure in over 6 years. I'm not medicated. As long as I'm careful, I don't have seizures. Pain, lack of sleep, too much stress, too much alchohol and such are my triggers - and as everyone else - flashing lights (but they have to be really really intense). I'm lucky, its fairly dormant (just remind me not to go the dentist without a valium lol).
would i date someone with epilepsy? duh, silly question.
as long as the person is being responsible and listening to their doctor (yes my dr knows I don't take the meds), there's no point in rejecting them.
the ancient greeks thought epileptics were the oracle (speakers) of the gods, the victorians thought we were possessed by the devil - once revered, then tied to a bed in an insane asylum - go figure
we're normal people folks, no different then someone who suffers migraines (did you know that children of migraine sufferers have a higher chance of getting epilepsy? and children of epileptic mothers have a higher chance of suffering migraines) , or any other person who has a disability which is treatable.
anyways, im babbling lol, everyone needs to make a decision on whom they will date, what the parameters and the limits are. You can't judge someone because of those decisions can you?
have a good night :) | |
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