| Sexual Predicament
Posted: 6/27/2008 11:48:09 AM | Maybe you are being too hard on him. I mean, he could just not care, which could certainly be the case, but does that seem to be consistent with what you love about him? Maybe he doesn't know what the problem is, and he's stressed about it and concerned and you are not helping the situation. He might be stressed and might actually be tired, and you pressuring him will just make him shut down. If he is tired, then let him rest. Make it possible for him to get extra sleep, give him a backrub, treat his body nicely in a non-sexual way. Don't pressure him, even in non-verbal ways.
If I make a lot of good meals and than burn a whole bunch of them in a row, do I want the person I'm cooking for to dump me or be mean about it? I think the same applies in the bedroom. | |
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| Sexual Predicament
Posted: 6/27/2008 12:52:08 PM | | Why talk to us about this? Nothing that anyone posts on here will solve this problem for you. You've got to talk to him. Let him know how you feel. Yeah, it's a delicate issue....but if you can't communicate with him about everything, is it really worth holding onto? | |
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| Sexual Predicament
Posted: 6/27/2008 1:14:38 PM | | Maybe its deeper than the sex for him. Maybe he has left over issues from his past. If you love him and want to keep him, and he wont change, stock up on sex toys and enjoy yourself by yourself now and again. | |
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| Sexual Predicament
Posted: 6/27/2008 1:44:11 PM | | I have had this experience myself when i was in my 20's.At the time i thought it doesn't matter if you love someone but in reality it does (or it did to me ). I never strayed but i found it incredibly frustrating . Eventually after we split ,i found that i was not the only one he was sleeping with . He had also experienced sexual abuse when he was in his teens . Whilst im by no means suggesting that this is the problem in your situation, may be there are deeper problems here .Otherwise he may just be very self absorbed and sometimes you have to remember that no matter how much you love someone , you have needs and desires too and may be he is not the one for you .good luck x | |
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| Sexual Predicament
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:12:25 PM | Sounds like he's feeling a bit threatened by your obvious keenness on sex and making it last. He's not really going to any trouble to help you feel better though, so it's rather selfish of him. He sounds like he wants to stay in control of the situation and not think in terms of you enjoying it too. He is limiting the scenario to what he can cope with mentally.
Maybe at the back of his mind he's of the opinion that women should not be enjoying sex and he feels uncomfortable that you want to. The effect of his behaviour is that you feel frustrated and as if you are asking too much of him. You are reluctant to broach the subject with him because you know it wouldn't be welcomed. It sounds like there is a battle going on here behind the scenes.
Perhaps you could broach the subject of what his view is of women who enjoy sex. Should they be enjoying it or is there something wrong with that at the back of his mind? What does he expect of women in the bedroom? What is his view of women having orgasms, etc. Maybe airing these subjects will be enlightening. | |
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