| | Domestic ViolencePage 15 of 17 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17) | Hi to the above messenger! Just em.
Unfortunately I can't message you a reply . Your reply was spot on and it's the first time that I have actually had a good laugh for many months.
Thankyou. | |
|
| Domestic Violence
Posted: 7/24/2008 6:17:04 AM | OMG!! I couldnt have said it better, Sensual. GREAT POST!!! The man (first marriage) that i married i had never been in love before
He took away my fears of everything, was patient in teaching lovemaking etc. But remember,,,this same man had a temper than nearly bashed my brains out, nearly broke my neck, snapped bones, broke teeth..........he immediatly was sorry. he loved to fish hunt vacation be with family
husband two couldnt STAND being with me, couldnt stand touching me or holding me but oh how he loved to CONTROL me!! and control everyone he comes into....
But there are still good memories which is why you married them to begin with, right?
Cherish and hold onto those! :)
I just saw that! OMG
I REALIZE WHAT I DONE AND IM SORRY!?????/
Yep. SORRY I GOT CAUGHT! lol
Im so Sad and Alone! GOOODY GOODY!!!!! Taste this! Im so FREEEEEEEEE !
I have a bible. So does everyone else in prison and jail. Until they dont get their way and then same ole same ole! | |
|
| Domestic Violence
Posted: 7/26/2008 4:53:07 PM | This is a reply to a lady named luuvsitt.. unfortunately I cannot message her.
Thankyou for your message and sound advice. I will be taking note of what you said.
Wannacstars.. you are so funny. I'm looking forward to seeing him sentenced.. It may sound unkind but he will be standing there helpless behind the perspex glass.
I remember being helpless behind my car windscreen ., when he put his head through it. I remember that sick smile on his face and I remember peeing myself with fear.
Its his turn now.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
|
| |
| Domestic Violence
Posted: 7/26/2008 5:59:19 PM | HI and TODAY,
My first relationship and marriage in the late 70's was violent .My X husband was one of the very first arrests in Duluth MN where the state picked up charges ..So that we as many do would not drop charges..I followed through he got his sentencing and I got back with him # 3 times Arrest follow thru and ANGER management for him.I did finnaly follow thru with divorce HE recieved custody.I did not give up and go back..Kept watchful eye on all and stayed close as close could be to my 2 boys..We can have all the education in the WORLD .If we have low self esteam and do not know how to learn to respect ourself ..THE pattern will continue..REACH deep..you can love the abuser LET him go and learn what real love is .It starts with oneself and a lot of work on ones self.INTIMACY.... into ME i see..YOU CAN DO IT then everything you want and deserve is yours.Jenine | |
|
| Domestic Violence
Posted: 8/3/2008 5:55:46 PM | | llynass, have you not realised what this man is really doing. He is making all the right moves, saying all the right things, probably as instructed by his solicitor / barrister. The idea would be to use the show of remorse and sorrow for what he has done to lessen his forthcoming sentencing. His brief will probably have photocopies of it all for his social reports. He is still working you, even remotely without response from you. Get your solicitor, or the courts to get a restraining order to prevent him writing or phoning you or any of your friends or family. Don let him use you or yours any more than he already has. | |
|
| Domestic Violence
Posted: 8/3/2008 7:45:25 PM | In reply to the above gentleman.. thankyou for your post.. Yes I do realise what his game is. He wants just one letter of sympathy from me to give to his barrister to pass on to the judge before he is sentenced. Well I am proud to say that it's just not happening this time. I called the prison myself and told them what he was up to.., then I handed the letter over to the police. He is already barred from phoning me.
Of course Iwould love to believe what he wrote but I am wiser now and I am stronger.
There is a long way to go yet but I'm heading in the right direction. The posters on this forum have seen to that..Go bless them all. | |
|
| Domestic Violence
Posted: 8/13/2008 7:39:03 AM | I received an interesting present this morning as I was about to let my dogs out.. There was a very personal hand made card for me sitting on the doorstep. O n the cover was a very colourful oak looking coffin with a female lying in it. All hand drawn and coloured in.. The words GOOD LUCK were written above!
Are broken hearts.. broken limbs.. etc not enough? | |
|
| Domestic Violence
Posted: 8/13/2008 10:45:53 AM | | Ummm you didn't touch it and called the police I hope? | |
|
| Domestic Violence
Posted: 8/13/2008 4:16:54 PM | Yes I did call the police and they told me not to handle it and that was the last I heard from them!!
I'm not sure what is going on..I posted some time back that my ex tried to get me to make contact via my daughter by asking her to get me to write him one last letter as of course he is so sorry for his actions.., which of course I havn't..,
Now sentencing has been put back until September 8th for reports which were not ready so what's the point in leaving me little presents.. The outcome cannot be changed..! Idle threats? | |
|
tami08
| | Joined: 7/15/2008
Msg: 361 | |
| Domestic Violence
Posted: 8/13/2008 6:28:13 PM | | I have a feeling that you are going to see him just one more time because you hate being away from him. I say go buy a gun, don't tell him you bought it, and if he strikes out at you blow his brains out. Put him 6 feet under! Save the next women from going through what you went through. Good luck to you. | |
|
| Domestic Violence
Posted: 8/14/2008 4:47:58 AM | In reply to the above message... I have struggled really hard this last 6 months with coming to terms with the truth and facing reality. Not even wanting to believe it when it was staring me in the face. I have had the most wonderful support from posters on this site.., warm people that I have never even met ..willing me, encouraging me to get through each dark and dismal day. I have made no contact with this man and will not make contact with him again! He on the other hand continues to try to make contact with me even though he is behind bars and is BANNED from writing to me or phoning me.. Yesterday a drawing of a coffin. , today I find a cross on my door step and YES I am starting to feel very afraid but I am not going to let him and his family get to me.
I am trying to mend. | |
|
| Domestic Violence
Posted: 8/14/2008 5:23:39 PM | doint be afraid llynass,he cant hurt you no more ..he is tryin the old trick threatening stupid pathetics letters and cards .doint even open them send them bk unopened not none at this address .hope he is suffering ,and getting his comuppance in the showers.....you take care ,im here if you ever need to talk.....hugs joolsy  | |
|
| Domestic Violence
Posted: 8/15/2008 6:32:57 AM | Joolsy.. the police have treated this as a threat and continue to support me. They sent a marked car round to see if it would make any difference as the family live very close by.
Now that it's just sentencing that we are waiting for I can't see what all this nonsence is to achieve. Plus I continue to attend therapy and still have a bruised heart. Some people can be very cruel and they know without a shadow of a doubt that he is guilty.
How would they feel if a member of their own family had been in a similar relationship.
I wonder! Thanks for being there. | |
|
| Domestic Violence
Posted: 8/15/2008 11:02:23 AM | | I can still hear my one ex's best friend saying that Mark could never do that. It is odd how sometimes people that are close to the abusers don't realize what horrible and cruel things these people really are capable of. Stay strong, one foot in front of the other, keep your chin up, etc. etc. it is hard to live through, but you are. If this post only reaches one woman living with this that has gotten out of a bad relationship, you have done something positive not only for yourself but for someone else. Kudos to you! | |
|
| Domestic Violence
Posted: 8/18/2008 9:52:26 PM | This topic reminds me of the movie "Madea's Familt Reunion"
She said if a man hits on you...make him breakfast!
Get a big pot off grits and cook them real hot. Then you get yourself a nice pan (like this). You take the pot of grits and toss it on him then take the pan and hit him with it.
  
Never let someone make yoiu feel small! | |
|
| Domestic Violence
Posted: 8/31/2008 5:03:03 PM | I posted on this thread a while back as i was concerned about my mum. I received some very positive feedback. I left this thread 'accidently on her computer screen' and found her crying secretly. She has at least opened up to me now and i am so glad that i stumbled upon this thread. It may just have saved her life. God bless all of you.
Distantfriend. | |
|
| Domestic Violence
Posted: 8/31/2008 5:59:57 PM | I'm dating a woman who had been in an abusive marriage for 9 years. She justified being married to the guy by saying that she wanted kids young ...and worse still, she used to cheat on him, even before the marriage, in a vain attempt to try and prove that she wasn't really in the marriage for him, just for the fact she wanted to have kids while she was young...the long and short of is, she is still in regular contact with him 10 years and a divorce later, the kids are both in therapy, she is on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications and still continues to justify having this man in her life again because of that fact that they share kids...he is still a volitile and unpredictably constant source of verbal abuse, even in front of the kids during visitation, is inherently jealous and controlling of any new relationship she tries to have - especially mine because I treat her like no one else ever has.
Still she refuses to take sole custody of the kids in order to rid herself of his constant presence in her life because she says she needs the help with him watching the kids just two weekends a month and the mortgage...the reality is that she is still attached to the abusive nature of his personality and will always have a need for an individual like him in her life, whether him or someone else.
My point here is there will always be reasons to allow someonone back into your life, or to keep someone in your life, that "on paper" look perfectly valid to other people despite the potential damage it may have.
Deep down, you loved the man who was good to you, and that was the ideal you always held on to understandably, but the real man, the constant that will never go away, is the abusive man who needs to physically hurt and emotionally destroy in order to fill his own twisted voids. That man will never go away, and does not really love you, only himself.
Honestly,if he truly loved you and felt the way he did about himself after abusing you and or the kids - he would truly have killed himself, because he would know that he could never control his behavior and would be too wracked with guilt and self-hatred at what he lost in you and how he treated you and his own family.
The fact that he is in jail rather than dead by his own hand as he so often threatened is in itself proof that that he will always be too weak to truly deal with himself and who/what he is. Leaving the responsibility and burden all to you. | |
|
| Domestic Violence
Posted: 9/1/2008 5:30:46 AM | Msg.369
My point here is there will always be reasons to allow someonone back into your life, or to keep someone in your life, that "on paper" look perfectly valid to other people despite the potential damage it may have.
Regarding abusers and children born of those relationships: right, wrong or indifferent, children complicate severing ties with abusive partners. Like it or not, the children have two parents and have rights to both parents. Like it or not, when people make babies together, there will be ties beyond the scope of ending the relationship. Sole custody does not alleviate involvement with the abuser at all. Still got visitation to deal with and if he (or she) is a heavy duty nut case? Hell takes on new meaning. Just my .02 cents worth. | |
|
| Domestic Violence
Posted: 9/1/2008 9:03:12 AM | I haven't been here in a while and thought i would stop in and check up on you, hunii
I am so sorry he is at it again. Please dont let this deter you .
I found out just this week that my X has duped me once again, and my house payments i thought he was making in leui of child support for almost TEN years ) have been to pay his OWN mortgage. So basically, i have NOTHING. My attorney is going after him for several years of back support, but it will never happen.
His family has so much power in this county and community that i can never get help from authority, etc. They protect HIS family no matter what they get into.
So i just gave up years ago.
My attorney asked me why...when she found out what all he had done and saw the paperwork on it, she told me ITS about TIME you stood up to him!! when he gets this paperwork he is not going to be a happy camper. CONTROL and power is what feeds his appetite.
So basically, the abuser will never give up as long as you dont do anything about it.
So hang in there and keep your chin up!!
gentle hugs to you | |
|
| Domestic Violence
Posted: 9/1/2008 9:35:24 AM |
Joolsy.. the police have treated this as a threat and continue to support me. They sent a marked car round to see if it would make any difference as the family live very close by.
Now that it's just sentencing that we are waiting for I can't see what all this nonsence is to achieve. Plus I continue to attend therapy and still have a bruised heart. Some people can be very cruel and they know without a shadow of a doubt that he is guilty.
How would they feel if a member of their own family had been in a similar relationship
llynass, i really think it is disgusting what that sick so and so is doing to you.
they seem a familie of totally twisted loosers, if they go and support him, and do his dirty work, running errants with him pulling the strings from behind the bars.
i know yu shouldnt because you are not the one in the wrong, but have you ever thought about moving?
to get some distance from the familie, for a fresh start, and a bit of peace of mind.
i know pplz can be found easylie, but i dont know, mabe if you go ex-directary etc, ull get a bit of peace. i think thats what id do in your situation.
or mabe get a dog.
or i send you my 3 round for a wile.
they are real **stards to scare you so.
like jools im allways here if you wanna chat, or want a cheer me up.
  | |
|
| Domestic Violence
Posted: 9/1/2008 10:39:56 AM | | So, let him kill himself,,,And history repeats its self ,,,May I suggest you change youself and find some decent people. | |
|
| Domestic Violence
Posted: 9/8/2008 8:10:48 AM | When kids are involved and divorce, etc, it isnt all that easy to just up and move
I hadnt been here in a few days and thought i would stop by i hope you are doing ok. | |
|
| Domestic Violence
Posted: 9/8/2008 8:29:50 AM | I'M not doing good right now. Iwent to court this morning to hear him being sentenced
and he had written a letter to the judge saying that he was completely remorseful. The judge said that he believed him and sentenced him to only three and a half years. In real terms as he has already served 7 months on remand he only has seven months left and will be free again.
I feel that I am worth nothing as a person.
Why when i believed what he wrote to me all those times am I seen as a fool. When the judge believes his words on paper.
Ifeel very down and would gratefully apreciate some support right now. I loved this man and supported him through and through. I can be hospitalised for serious assault. I can be raped. but at the end of the day he is remorseful so its okay! | |
|
| Domestic Violence
Posted: 9/8/2008 10:26:43 AM | pffffft, and you believe that?
i dont believe for one minute that he is sorry for what he did.
he is proberbley just verry pleased with himself at the moment, that he got off so lightley.
you must be feeling terrible, as you are worth so much more than that lass.
but reading the way you are talking, i could see you having him back even.
you are questioning yourself.
try and harden up, and let him rott in hell.
he dosent deserve you!
somewhere, there is this kind- hearted man waiting for you.
just waiting for you to bump into him.
if i was in your position, id make a completeley fresh start.
make tracks, and leave that **stard behind.
 | |
|
Home
login 
