| where to find decent men
Posted: 4/29/2008 5:01:16 PM | I think the word Decent should be changed to SUITABLE, because I think we all need to find someone SUITABLE and jsut because we dont think their Suitable for us doesnt meant hey are'nt suitable for someone else, we are all on different intellectual social and personal development levels and have different expereinces and expectations for our futures, so the word Decent is probably a bit harsh, the word suitable is more appropriate......
That being said we do need to evaluate what is suitable for us and have to be proactive in figuring out how we are going to meet these people.......
I have already figured out this is not the place for me and I need to join activities and groups to braden my chances of meeting people I think would be suitable for me......
I have stopped seeing a decent man because he isnt suitable for me, and I can list the reasons without insulting him or putting him down, and can also point out his positive qualities, but in the long term he simply isnt suitable.......... | |
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| where to find decent men
Posted: 4/29/2008 6:36:05 PM | Posted By: uglybetty on 4/29/2008 2:08:00 PM
Subject: where to find decent men
Message: Truth is, they are everywhere - but if you don't look around you and make contact with men you have interest in, you probably won't meet them. You'll only keep meeting the more forward men who approach you but for the most part can turn out to be jerks.
Talking to men who approach you AND approaching men you like gives you a double advantage and ups your numbers. And the bar or club is just one of many places men are...the ones you talk to first are usually the nicer, quieter, more humble ones.
Next time you are anywhere men might go, take in your surroundings - they're usually right under your nose...
Women tend to blindly run errands, go to the gym, shop, get gas, etc without REALLY looking around.
.............................................................
Now, listen up, girls. Get it? She makes sense. So long as you assume that just because you are female you are supposed to be passive and wait for males to approach you, you will be bait for the jerks. When you perceive yourself as their equal, and them as your equal, then you can break free from the silly prejudices of your grannie's generation and start LIVING.
So walk up to the man you are interested in and say something. Oh, it's too hard? Oh, you might be rejected? Well, welcome to the club, girls. Men have dealt with reality for a long time. You can do it too.
Yes, you WILL get some rejection. It will NOT kill you. Yes, there WILL be some men who are freaked out by your newly-acquired self-esteem. Well, those are not the kind of men you want to meet anyway, so write them off and move on.
There will always be some shrinking violet females who think that they have be perfect ladies all demure in white gloves who wait passively for males to take initiatives. They are boring and they are social dinosaurs. Let them be whatever they want to be. You can be a modern woman and you will soon find that modern men prefer modern women. I have met exciting modern women and they are fabulous people.
There are men who don't want you to be their equal. That's O.K. They are the old-fashioned males who feel threatened unless you come on as weak and dependent so they can pretend to be strong in their own eyes. Let them be. You can just focus on being you and on being your own very best as your confident strong self. | |
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| where to find decent men
Posted: 4/29/2008 6:53:32 PM |
I believe the ratio must be very, very close as to how often women pick the bad boy over the good boy, just as often as the men will pick the voluptuous blonde, or brunette, or redhead that's the life of the party, over the quiet, demure female pretty much invisible to the maneye.
In my case....absolutely wrong! I'll take the quiet, demure female every time! Tend to have more going on upstairs....can hold a conversation about something other than themselves, and are usually actually HAPPY someones talking to, and paying attention to, them! | |
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| where to find decent men
Posted: 4/30/2008 1:12:05 AM | Ive learned that true beauty really does come from within, but you are talking physical traits so I will address them first.1- I love ladies that have more meat on their bones than bones, They seem to enjoy life more than the ones that worry about their weight. They are also more carefree and are more willing to be adventurous and try new things than thin ones,2- I love a lady that doesn't use a lot of make-up, They have more confidence in themselves than the ones that smear the war paint on.3- I love ladies that dresses conservatively, now that is classy, this dressing trashy fad that women are doing to attract men is way out of control, it doesn't say respect me, it says use me, I find it really demeaning. Big boobs are nice but I don't need them popping out of a low cut top while I'm trying to talk to them, I would rather look into their eyes hoping to catch a glimpse of their soul.
Now lets address real beauty... I want my lady to be intelligent, for I want to learn from her as much if not more than I can teach. She must be humorous, for I want to laugh with her and not at her. Classy, for I want to be proud of her. Determined , for I want someone to stand by me, and not quit when the going got tough. Caring, for she will understand me as I will understand her and not be critical.
If you ask me this sure does not sound like Jennifer Aniston, more like ugly Betty, And I'm more than fine with that. P.S. I found someone on here last week, and the bad boys that I was talking about probably wouldn't give her a second glance, But she amazed me by her guts in just being herself and inspired me by her spirit, shes truly wonderful. And I find that very attractive. | |
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| where to find decent men
Posted: 4/30/2008 1:41:00 PM | | Dude, you make a lot of sense. Yes, an attractive woman is the one who looks classy and dresses not as man-bait but as a woman who is in control. I have felt attracted to women who are obviously competent and strong, such as Benazir Bhutto and Carly Fiorina. Yes, an attractive woman will be intelligent, and will enjoy being intelligent, and I will learn from her. | |
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| where to find decent men
Posted: 4/30/2008 1:41:27 PM | I dont think the OP wants her questioned philosophized. SHe just merely asked "Where do you meet decent men"?
Without philosophizing here, I would say ...church, grocery stores, gay bars and yes..graveyards. :) | |
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| where to find decent men
Posted: 4/30/2008 2:01:16 PM |
If you had the option of say....I don't know...Ugly Betty (that's the Ugly Betty on TV, not our Ugly Betty...our Ugly Betty is beautiful...) and Jennifer Aniston, don't tell me you'd pick Ugly Betty...
Okay, I won't tell you. But I would still pick Betty over Jennifer. Betty's a cutie. | |
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| where to find decent men
Posted: 4/30/2008 2:05:11 PM |
Okay, I won't tell you. But I would still pick Betty over Jennifer. Betty's a cutie.
Thanks, Wonka - but even I would pick Jenn Aniston over myself...lol | |
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| where to find decent men
Posted: 4/30/2008 2:32:02 PM | Church is mostly females. A woman who wants to meet men needs to hang where there are mostly men. That means motorcycle showrooms, Home Depot, boat shows, etc.
But the most important thing is that she MUST be perceived as approachable. That DOES mean vulnerability and she has to take that chance. It means being out there alone, not with her friends. It amazes me how many girls go out with another female, expecting men to take an interest. It's not as much a "stay away" message as being with a guy, but it sure as heck is not so inviting as if it's just her. And if she wants a man to approach her, does she have the courage to break the ice by smiling at him first, or speaking to him BEFORE he speaks to her?
Why don't more women emigrate to Australia? That is a country where there are more men than women, and where they love Americans and American women. | |
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| where to find decent men
Posted: 4/30/2008 2:35:58 PM | Goodness only knows - men are so bitter and twisted these days three lines in a message will tell you enough to know that they dont want to even try to date.
Now sex - they will meet a woman for a sex session and keep coming back for as long as she offers.
Dating is dead. 
From what I can work out:
She has to be the cutest woman walking the earth, she has to have a home and money and a good car, she has to be intelligent and funny and be available at the drop of a hat, and then maybe just maybe he might come over. | |
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| where to find decent men
Posted: 4/30/2008 3:35:45 PM | | Well I'm a decent man trying to find a decent woman & I'm from New York City. Most women I meet just act like they are too good for me when I treat them with respect. So i just go on my way. I worked in Brooklyn & to be honest I hated working out there. Not all but a lot of"girls" that thought they were women only wanted to talk to guys that had there pants sagging down to their knees & guys who only drove cars & wear jewelry. A lot of these "girls" wanted a lot from these guys but most of these same "girls" had nothing going for them. Most of them lived with there parents had no jobs & kids & actually had standards when it came to men & what they were driving & how much drug money they are making. Sad very sad but yes I am a good guy that will not just settle with or sleep with just any woman just to have sex or just to have a girl friend cause I'm lonely. I actually have morals & care about my health & catching std's. | |
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| where to find decent men
Posted: 4/30/2008 3:48:44 PM | | home depot has a nice assortment of men...so does the beach....and less clothes ") | |
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| where to find decent men
Posted: 4/30/2008 3:51:57 PM |
Ummm, you do know in certain regions (specifically, but I doubt limited to, the South) people get dressed up and go to Wal-Mart at night to look for other eligible folks. The practice is termed -- you are going to LOVE this -- 'catching.' I.e.,
Whaaa???????? This apparently hasn't caught on in the Atlanta area! Fascinating! The idea of dressing up to go to Walmart, that is. LOL | |
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| where to find decent men
Posted: 4/30/2008 5:14:24 PM | fRA:
I'm buying my ticket now! Hook a sistah up!!!!
Where I grew up in Kentucky, Cowtipping was a great opportunity to meet men.....if they only had teeth! (sigh) | |
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| where to find decent men
Posted: 4/30/2008 6:21:29 PM |
"Where do you meet decent men"?
Without philosophizing here, I would say ...church, grocery stores, gay bars and yes..graveyards. :)
Gay Bars? Graveyards?
Wow...Jaded much????
I wouldn't presume to tell you ladies that I am a good man, I know that I have my issues to deal with like everybody else. I would tell you to listen to the other people here that have said to pay more attention.
I can only speak for me, but I see NUMEROUS women daily that I could see myself with. If you take only a fraction of them as sutible long term relationship material, that's still plenty of chances at something great.
I guess it's easier for us guys though. This observant behavior is instinctive for us. We are conditioned to seek out women. I can see how it would be a bit tougher if it was something that was counter intuitive.
The only advice that I could give, would be to look around a bit more the next time you go to the grocery store, or gym. Maybe you'll see something that you hadn't before. | |
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| where to find decent men
Posted: 4/30/2008 9:27:33 PM | Well, looks like I am getting my moneys worth 
funeral homes (sitting by the widows side)? perhaps, Church (no, that is where some of the freaks hang out) ? Grocery stores? work? who knows.. hey, you never know.. they are where you least expect to see them... same chances as you have as winning the lottery    but, in all honesty ....
You truly never know... love is never in time...so, hold the line    | |
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| where to find decent men
Posted: 4/30/2008 10:03:16 PM |
I dont think the OP wants her questioned philosophized. SHe just merely asked "Where do you meet decent men"?
Ok, then; here's a great place to meet decent men: Sporting Events. Most of the people at Baseball, Football, or Basketball games are men. Some of them are decent. You're welcome.
(Now, figuring out who the decent ones are, and how to meet them...that's another story. But the OP didn't ask that, now did she?) | |
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| where to find decent men
Posted: 5/1/2008 5:44:39 AM | Where have I met decent men?
At my favorite burger joint.
At Home Depot.
On the bus.
Here. Yes, here on POF. I've connected with them either online or at local POF get togethers. Though none of them turned out to have longterm potential, I have had several dates with quality men I've met right here on POF. I am still in touch with two of them, as friends.
At the Chinese buffet restaurant.
At the leash-free park.
While sitting in the town square eating my lunch.
I've also heard that the laundromat is a great place to strike up a conversation with an eligible man.
Bars are not a good place to meet "decent" men. As someone else has already stated, most men who hang out at bars are only looking to hook up for the night, not for a committed relationship. | |
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| where to find decent men
Posted: 5/1/2008 7:49:53 AM | Bars are not a good place to meet "decent" men. As someone else has already stated, most men who hang out at bars are only looking to hook up for the night, not for a committed relationship.
Just wanted to throw a footnote on this comment - USUALLY men who approach you in a bar are looking to hook up, etc...
There are a LOT of men in bars who don't go to be players or do one night stands - but they don't approach women (or they have to muster up a lot of courage to do it) because they're a bit more modest/self aware. THOSE men might be a bit more trustworthy. Generally women don't realize these men are even there, because they're too busy fighting off the 20-40% of aggressive men approaching them.
However, if you don't like bars - neither one is right for you - you do want to find someone who has some of the same interests, and if he's there chances are you won't have that in common. | |
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| where to find decent men
Posted: 5/1/2008 9:02:18 AM | Thanks for the most welcome correction to my statement, dear uglybetty.
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| where to find decent men
Posted: 5/1/2008 9:08:39 AM | Well what you find in a bar is what you get. That does not mean you wont find someone but church is the same way..Been there done that too. I have met the biggest lairs in church more than a bar that is for sure. Bars are what you see is what you get.
Meeting via one person thru another person is usually the best way I have found but hey--believe this..there are no perfect people..NONE. take a chance that is all you have. | |
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| where to find decent men
Posted: 5/1/2008 10:32:33 AM | Man, you must some special gift or something!
I ain't met many humans at all, who were as the image that they projected! | |
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| where to find decent men
Posted: 5/1/2008 5:31:20 PM | Just remember this ....
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory!! 
Just needed to laugh... oops sorry wrong thread and topic... just breaking the ice  | |
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