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| Do you believe you can meet someone online?
Posted: 6/18/2008 3:10:29 PM | leicsrebel wrote:
Media though is an expressionless place, it's very easy to fall for 'fractional truths', or a picture someone has painted of themselves. False-interpretation of someone's feelings that you wouldn't get by facing them and talking to them. It's maybe this 'virtuality' that makes a lot say 'no, it doesn't happen'. Fast lifestyles force us to decide quickly and media's great at accelerating this, and the susceptable do get hurt all too easily in the heat of the moment - lovestruck easily is not good. I see what you're trying to say, that there's no facial expressions, so it's not as intuitive. But I still argue that people can deceive each other in person, and they hide information all the time, sometimes for 10, 20, 50 years. In person we can be easily seduced (false interpretations?) by a warm smile, a sexy bounce, a great perfume, a playful laugh... All things you don't get "on line"...
I disagree that a profile is expressionless. It's a different way of expressing oneself, and requires some practice and language skills. Not saying I have it down, but writing is something a lot of people struggle with and that's the problem with dating on-line, moreso than 'virtuality' in my opinion.
Writing is only half of it. Reading/interpreting on-line dating requires some experience to be able to not feel deceived by profiles, etc. Even photos can be misleading. I've learned not to trust them! You can be surprised for better or for worse when you finally meet someone in person.
If you see my age, it won't surprise you to know that I met the first woman I "chatted with" online in 1985 (when I was studying programming at university). The computer system in those days had a chat system (not so different from IRC today), but all you had were three initials to your name (no profile, heck it was not a dating system)! Let's just say that this gal I finally met after weeks of chatting was very disappointed I wasn't the guy she imagined behind those three letters!! The look on her face was priceless... She was quite pretty, but was likely imagining me to be some Adonis...
Things may have come a long way in 23 years (profiles, dancing bananas  , photos, attachable roses, etc.), but people still have to take care to not over-imagine the person on the other end of the keyboard or telephone. Again, I don't think that this problem makes finding someone online less probable. It just means that you have to stick with it a while to get the hang of it.
GotFin wrote
[Lots of generalizations about women that I won't repeat.] Although I agree such women as you describe exist, that's not why on-line dating isn't going to work. There are surely men who work the same way...
Isn't telling someone to take her profile down like telling her to wear a Burkha if you went out on a date? If she's attractive, she's still going to get noticed in public, even if you're dating her. Those women (or men) are usually easy to spot (online or in person), and they're not the majority. I don't see this having anything to do with online dating, except that the "attention" they get is going to be emails, IMs instead of glances, cat-calls, turned heads. | |
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| Do you believe you can meet someone online?
Posted: 6/25/2008 11:06:21 PM | | Yes, you can meet someone and have success. I was with someone for 11 years. These days are tough, keep your guard up and protect your heart because it's a lot of work. You will go on a thousand dates, it gets old. | |
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| Do you believe you can meet someone online?
Posted: 6/26/2008 5:58:08 AM | | I have tried online dating on and off for many years and I met 2 people who were worthwhile, other than that, has not been successful at all. I just look at this as a extra avenue to possibly meet someone, if I do not, no big deal, because this site is free, so no added pressure so to speak. Sometimes it depends who is on the site, there might be a whole batch of people that may like you or a whole batch that is not interested, that is why you have to give it a while I suppose.... | |
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| Do you believe you can meet someone online?
Posted: 6/26/2008 7:44:34 AM | | I used to think I would be able to meet someone that I thought was a decent person online...now I am starting to think that its just not possible....gonna start back on real-life hobby/interests/singles groups again soon. | |
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| Do you believe you can meet someone online?
Posted: 6/26/2008 10:37:30 AM | Absolutely! I met my boyfriend online!
Like others have said, you have to realistic about it and you have to weed through a ton of people to find someone you're compatable with. I met all types of guys, some nice, some not, many liars, many players, only a few good seeds, IMO. Many people are here pretending to be one thing and really be another. Many are here looking for a sex buddy.
The hard part is being able to quickly distingush the real ones from the aholes!
Good luck to you! | |
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| Do you believe you can meet someone online?
Posted: 6/26/2008 2:26:35 PM | | Yes I do believe I can meet someone online. With the internet being so readily accessible to billions all over the world, the possibilities are almost endless. The problem I've found is that most people are suspicious right off the bat that the other person might be a creep, geek, loser, or 65 year-old psycho pervert. In a way, the suspicion is totally justifiable because increased access to people also means increased access to creepy people, coupled with the fact that some people do not honesly represent themselves. But sure, it's possible. | |
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| Do you believe you can meet someone online?
Posted: 6/26/2008 4:15:59 PM | I think it has been mentioned before but if you are from a smaller town, the odds of finding somebody nearby are probably not very good..I will need to look 75-100 miles away and hope that I am not immediately shut down for the distance. And I can understand the female perspective on these sites....a lot of married guys troll these places and older guys that think they can get with much younger gals makes it harder for the normal guys.... | |
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| Do you believe you can meet someone online?
Posted: 6/28/2008 5:33:39 PM | YES VERY MUCH SO!!! As a matter of fact, I think he posted an answer to this. I got the guts to email someone on this web site and we've been together ever since. He's a wonderful guy, no gentleman. No only did I meet someone, I fell in love with him. Never give up cuz you never know what's around the corner. GOOD LUCK!!! | |
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| Do you believe you can meet someone online?
Posted: 6/29/2008 11:11:01 PM | Scotty, change your hairstyle. Wear a different shirt in each pic.
And work on that profile a bit...you've got to think like an Advertising Exec...a bunch of info in a big paragraph tends to confuse the eye...break it all up...and LIVEN in it! | |
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| Do you believe you can meet someone online?
Posted: 6/30/2008 4:51:43 PM | You can, my brother met someone on a dating site and am attending the wedding in September...some cultures (ok quite a few) people get married in "arranged" marriages without even seeing one another.
I see the advent of technology with creating different venues for people to meet.
It is up to you to take it to the next level...whatever level you wish it to be but the best thing is not to give up too much personal info over the 'net because along with the good guys and gals you'll end up with some bad apples. Go with your gut instinct I would say when you date online trying to find a potential mate or date. | |
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| Do you believe you can meet someone online?
Posted: 6/30/2008 10:16:53 PM | | I've tried this off and on for a few months. You'd think the tards would say not married....which leads me to believe that all men here are married. I'm about to give up. I don't tolerate fools.......at all. | |
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| Do you believe you can meet someone online?
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:40:18 PM | Over the years I have tried this, met my ex online, and the rest were almost, but that was it. I was talking with this girl from Wales, we had met on a fan forum for a band called the Tears, anyways, we had started talking and hit it off. I hadn't known her long, and the crippling writer's block that I had was gone like no one's business. I liked how we had alot in common, some things that would have made people shake their heads (fascinations with historical figures).
Anyway, last year she had told me she had family in Windsor where I live, as well as Leamington (Ontario) which isn't far. I thought it was certain she would be it, I was so comfortable with her, and not afraid to ask anything. As it turned out, she has a boyfriend now, and doesn't return my emails (although last one was sent almost a month ago).
Online or not, it hurt that if anything she threw a perfectly good friendship away by just ignoring me. Am I sour about meeting other people online? Absolutely not. It comes with the territory. | |
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| Do you believe you can meet someone online?
Posted: 7/1/2008 2:05:44 AM | | You might not meet the love or your life but you'll probably make some really great freinds. If you meet your love then it's a win/win situation. Good luck... | |
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| Do you believe you can meet someone online?
Posted: 7/3/2008 7:45:53 PM | I once thought so but now after a few years and no messages in all of that time I have serious doubts...
It seems the women on such sites are too Narcissistic, lack the ability to use a keybord to reply to messages and not being realistic with expectations. | |
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| Do you believe you can meet someone online?
Posted: 7/12/2008 3:33:31 PM | ok Then....
Everyone seems to agree that is basically unlikely to meet someone online, but were still here. LOL
Anyway, so where do you meet someone?
ceecee - san antonio | |
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| Do you believe you can meet someone online?
Posted: 7/12/2008 3:48:21 PM |
I once thought so but now after a few years and no messages in all of that time I have serious doubts...
It seems the women on such sites are too Narcissistic, lack the ability to use a keybord to reply to messages and not being realistic with expectations.
Ummm ... I have a date with a woman (who is quite pretty, I may say) next Tuesday who e-mailed me first. On this site. I'm just saying ... | |
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| Do you believe you can meet someone online?
Posted: 7/12/2008 4:56:51 PM | | ^^^ edit: Note it's a first date, and from those you don't know if it will work out or not. I was just meaning that dates do happen with this site, that's all. | |
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| Do you believe you can meet someone online?
Posted: 7/12/2008 6:40:35 PM | | I know that you can meet someone online, as I have met women and found myself in a relationship. But, as with any other form of meeting people, it takes time and effort to get to know the person behind the computer. I do agree that many of the people in some of these dating sites aren't serious about meeting anyone. You know who you are. Those that have been on for two+ years and yet to have a serious relationship. It takes time, but it is possible. | |
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