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Posted: 4/30/2008 7:04:34 PM | "Your comments read like an extract from the feminist drivel from 20+ years ago."
Maybe.. because.. I was alive and fighting for rights to have child-support enforced by law. Drivel? It's exactly that chauvinsitically blase attitude of indifference that gets women so p*ssed-off. As far as women's rights.. the fight still hasn't stopped. Equality in pay for equal work.. still doesn't exist for women in most work environments. You can sit back.. moan and groan about women still fighting for these equalities.. and.. feel  :blah about it.. but then again.. white men never had to fight for any of these rights.. they were a given. I have the feeling.. if the shoe had been placed on the others foot here.. you'd be out fighting the good fight. Different life experiences was exactly my point to you. Mine was obviously "different".
"I would suspect that a lot of guys have the usual collection of demands on their money, like ex-wives, child support, accumulated debts and a personal lifestyle that is somewhat more elaborate than they had in their 20s."
My point of experience to you was.. not only "a lot of the guys" have these responsibilities.. but so do a lot of the women.. and if they are the primary caregivers of the children.. possibly even $$ is required. Going "dutch".. then hurts whom? | |
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Posted: 4/30/2008 7:51:34 PM | | You know, I don't even get my hopes up anymore in regards to dating. That seems to be some activity that other people do. Oh, and coffee meets and having lunch, are both activities when I "pay my way" and seems to be the norm in my realm of dating. The last man who picked me up at my home, took me to dinner and was genuinely interested in me for something other than sex, I married. Those were the "good ole days". | |
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Posted: 5/1/2008 4:29:30 AM | Wow. I never thought I'd see so many people responding thank you. To clear up a few things, yes I'm sure dating does have a different meaning to each of us . The type of dating I'm talking about is the old fashion type of dating, where a young man ask the parents permission to date their daughter. Of course I realize when u reach this age (over 45) some of us longer have parents living. But this isnt even done now with people in the 20's. I guess my old fashion is showing, but thats ok some things in life r worth holding on to(to me anyway n thats what counts). As far as, what I meant as being harder to date, I was referring to the fact there seems to be no basic rules or standards to dating anymore. Pretty much anything seems to go. This is just my opinion, if u agree kool if not thats kool too, but with this world going the way it is I guess I'll hang on to a few old fashion things in life n do my best to keep dating simple. | |
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Posted: 5/1/2008 8:30:04 AM | Chocolatebrown, you are so right and so funny! You have a wonderful sense of humor.
It is difficult to date as one gets older for many reasons. I try to use my sense of humor to keep things light and as much fun as possible. | |
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Posted: 5/1/2008 1:40:43 PM | Good job chocolatebrown and jetlagbob, you both have it right on! Im 56, and its getting worse then when i was 25 , even 40! Seems like no end to a bad thing. | |
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Posted: 5/1/2008 4:52:00 PM | | Where do I sign up to join TEAM GO FOR IT? | |
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Posted: 5/1/2008 9:46:29 PM |
Dating has changed a lot over the years.
The questions raised in that post were the same questions going around 25 -30 years ago and probably even farther back except for maybe the “who pays”, though it seemed at times “Dutch” dating was coming around even in my twenties. These forums have been about the only place I have seen the “who pays” question become such an issue. I have rarely encountered it being an “issue” in my own experiences. All the others though have been issues from long ago, not really anything new.
In my opinion it is much better these days because I myself am older, somewhat wiser and seem to have established a better system of weeding out ones that are probably not someone I wish to meet. Might sound strange but even the experiences that have ended have been better, with less drama or baggage than when I was younger. I think for most of us we are in a place where we might like someone to share our life with, but if it doesn’t happen we at least enjoy the scenery along the way. There doesn’t seem to be this hidden desperation of having to be coupled because of society, friends or even family anymore.
As for the old fashioned type of dating, it wasn’t common in my “time” for a feller to ask permission to date me, but getting on my Dad’s good side was probably the biggest obstacle. That in itself has made it easier now. | |
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Posted: 5/1/2008 10:29:39 PM |
As far as, what I meant as being harder to date, I was referring to the fact there seems to be no basic rules or standards to dating anymore. Pretty much anything seems to go.
When it comes to dating, employment, and life in general, the rules have never been the same for everyone.
Again, the rules have NEVER been the same for EVERYONE. Any country, any sex, any era, the rules are different depending on how you were raised, where you live, and what you look like.
What you call old-fashioned rules were never universal in this or any other country. | |
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Posted: 5/5/2008 5:08:21 PM | Thank you jetlagbob and oldiebutgoodie....
Wanna go out???? It would sure make my cat happy....."get the old bag out of the house so I can party with that cute Tomcat who keeps on coming up on the back porch........" | |
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Posted: 5/6/2008 1:01:16 PM | | I never said it was universal. Just stating my views on dating thru my eyes n experiences, no more no less. What sadden's me is the LACK of respect n just common curtious both sexes seem to have when dating. And yes I can say both sexes since I date men n women. There are a lot of good people out there just wanting to find that someone special, my wish for everyone , I hope everyone finds someone to complete them n brings them the happiness they deserve as we all do. The best vitiamin for making friends....................B1 | |
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Posted: 5/16/2008 9:45:27 AM | Redarcangel, your comments are about as far away from "feminist drivel", as I am from being a tall, red-headed, one-eyed white man (no offense to those who are tall, red-haired, have one eye, or are white men....)
It's been documented statistically that when a woman divorces her lifestyle generally plunges....and if she is responsible for minor children, even more so.....
"So ain't nothing wrong with what you said....and as one of those "feminist drivelers", I agree 1000% | |
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Posted: 5/16/2008 12:24:31 PM | | In my experience, in a divorce, everyones lifestyle plunges. That is a fact that almost nobody appears to recognize, except perhaps for the men who get divorced. These days in most jurisdictions the total incomes of both parents are distributed in favour of the children by courts and government agencies. Even with all that income redistribution, it is still true that everyone goes down quite a few notches. Its a lot more economically efficient for a family to live in 1 house, drive 1 car and split 1 roast of pork than it is to live in 2 houses, drive 2 cars and eat from 2 roasts of pork, throwing out half of each. It is absolutely inevitable that both parents take a serious lifestyle hit. | |
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Posted: 5/16/2008 7:41:50 PM | Umm I don't know what all the talk about who pays has to do with it.
For me, dating when young was having not a clue and knowing it, so it always gave me a knot in the stomach. I still got some rough edges I am working on, but I am quite comfortable with it. Once I figured out that the only thing worth doing is being honest, that is. Well, sure, I've met some ladies who meet my definition of rudeness but mostly they have been interesting and unique people whose company I enjoyed for whatever time I spent with them.
I believe there are a few secrets that help. There are no rules because each lady has her own. It is fun to let her teach me what they are. If she is not willing to do that, forget it cuz I am not a mind reader. I have let go of most of my expectations. Better to approach it with an open mind than to get bollixed up when reality takes a left turn when I expected a right. Having gotten rules and expectations out of the way, I listen to the lady and get fully engaged in what she is saying. If she asks a question, I give a thoughtful and honest answer, even if I blush or stammer in the process. I am mindful that she has dealt with a few jerks, and accept a moderate amount of suspicion if it does not last too long. Sure I have baggage from past injuries, self inflicted or not. But I leave as much of it in my closet as possible. I have a few faults, don't we all? So I better not try to hide them, she will smell them out before the first cup of coffee is cold. I always remember this is supposed to be fun, so I take it seriously but hold it lightly. | |
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Posted: 5/17/2008 3:59:44 AM | Hey y 'all... add to the mix having a wheelchair stuck to your butt. 
Good thing I know how to enjoy going out alone!!
And seriously, I don't worry about it at all. | |
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Posted: 5/17/2008 4:48:21 AM | Wrongo! Dating is definitely easier now plus your knowledge makes you definitely more advanced than anyone at 25. You add a few gray hairs and people swoon at your bed of wisdom...
I love dating right now and am looking forward to it as I age even more. I feel much more freedom (of expression and of everything) and power than ever before. While I had only mere beauty at 25, now I have depth of character, which makes for more complex feelings all around.
I totally rock at 46!
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Posted: 5/17/2008 5:31:12 AM | I wonder...(I always wonder... )why you make big deal of dating?
If you feel you are lonely...meet people...and have a fun!
Smile...good conversation ...will add more joy to your life!
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Posted: 5/17/2008 12:46:33 PM | ^^ that is so very true, ankkka!
Go out alone, talk to people, enjoy life.. yep! | |
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