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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner      Home login  
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 Diggy03
Joined: 4/7/2005
Msg: 26
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Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a PartnerPage 2 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Yes.... and I believe most of us have on some level.

Abuse is abuse no matter what label you give it and IT'S NOT HEALTHY!!!!

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Take what you have learned and grow from it. No man or woman should ever go through any abuse we have experienced.

 orlaigh
Joined: 3/29/2004
Msg: 27
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 6/2/2005 4:51:19 AM
Hi Tina

Thanks for sharing your story - like Aurielei that could have been my ex you were describing it was so familiar. I dated my ex for about 4 years, the mental & physical abuse slowly crept in and like you, I was already deeply in love with him and tolerated this for about a year. My friend used to become angry with me for tolerating this, saying she would never let a man do this to her....I couldn't begin to explain that neither would I, but it is very different when it is you actually in that situation.

When I did leave I was a shadow of my former self...no confidence, no smiles, absolutely no self-esteem, I lost interest in my appearance, prefered to stay in alone - looking back I believe I went through some kind of mental breakdown with a side portion of depression!! What a legacy, and he wasn't even around!! It did take me a long time to get back to myself, when I was out I used to think I saw him and would become panicked, even though I knew he wasn't even in this country!! I couldn't date for some time because I used to snap at new boyfriends if they were just teasing me or something....I couldn't relax enough to be with someone else because my guard was constantly up.

But then somewhere down the line I woke up one morning and felt good about myself, you know, safe and content. I rebuilt my self esteem which is so important...you have to tell yourself you're a great person, undo the destruction S**t men like him cause. You will blossom again and become stronger and wiser without the bitterness...he doesn't even deserve any memory. You will meet someone special when the time is right for you who will make you so happy you won't believe. I'm very proud of you for leaving, the hard part is over now concentrate on you...go out and buy yourself something to make you feel good, however expensive it is you deserve it. I wish you well, take care! xx
 SIMMYBABEZ
Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 28
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 6/2/2005 5:00:45 AM
Yep, Mentally more then physically. It was horrible at the time but i have to say im kinda glad its happened because its made me who i am, im a stronger person now, and im happy about that.
 HB2
Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 29
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 6/2/2005 6:24:27 AM
I worked long and hard to get myself back....
I'll never allow the loss of self to happen again!!!
PPL....don't just brush off ugly remarks your partner makes to you...that's just the beginning of abuse...
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 30
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Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 6/2/2005 6:49:50 AM
I had a GF when I was a teen that beat the ever-living hell out of me. It’s kind of hard to explain when you’re 6’0”, 215 pounds and a 5’3” 120 pound girl kicks the crap out of you - on a fairly regular basis. I still have a light scar on my left cheek where her ring cut me. Mom raised a man that would never hit a woman. I had no idea how to handle what was happening. I had been in plenty of scraps with guys. Dad taught me how to deal with them. It finally ended when I had enough. I caught her fist in the air and screamed at her. It apparently put in enough fear into her that she thought twice about doing it ever again. I was relieved. And soon after, my umpteenth breakup try finally worked.
 HB2
Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 31
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 6/2/2005 6:59:10 AM
Yam...good for you!
However, I see nothing wrong with a man defending himself no matter who it is beating on him!
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 32
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Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 6/2/2005 7:13:43 AM
I've never raised a hand to a woman and I never will. It's against the fabric of my very being.
 HB2
Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 33
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 6/2/2005 7:15:45 AM
to all us survivors::
 Blondeambition
Joined: 4/23/2005
Msg: 34
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 6/2/2005 7:21:42 AM
yes i have.....hence the demise of marriage number 1 to physical.....and marriage number 2 to verbal.....nufff said...
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 35
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Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 6/2/2005 7:24:32 AM
It’s amazing how our experiences shape who we are. I never really thought about it until now, but no wonder I have no trust in my judgement when it comes to women. One beat the hell out of me, another robbed me of a child and a third, my ex wife, whom I loved, cherished, respected and admired to no end, simply walked out of my life. And people, even those with an intimate knowledge of my history, wonder why I have no interest in being part to another relationship. Ha! If you put your hand into the snakes cage three times and it bit you every time, would you put your hand in there again? I don’t mean to equate women with snakes, but you get the picture. This should give my therapist and I some very interesting conversation fodder today.
 HB2
Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 36
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 6/2/2005 8:01:14 AM
Yam...don't tell him/her about my posts! OMFG!!!
Nobody should be abused but I have little sympathy these days for those who stay...there's too much help to be had nowadays!
 sweettina
Joined: 6/1/2005
Msg: 37
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 6/2/2005 3:38:49 PM
I just want to say to all of you who have responded to my post, men and women, we have all shown that we have the courage put these people behind us eventually and move on. Some of us are still going through the process of recovery, but we WILL get there. X
 heavenscherubangel
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 38
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 6/2/2005 5:17:45 PM
Hi Fern2:

Just a short note to say I sorry, but I have to disagree with your comment about that there is nothing wrong with a man defending himself, if a woman is hitting him.

Yes, I believe that he has the right to constrain the woman until the police arrive, and yes, the woman should be charged with assault. But as far as a man hitting a woman back, this would not be reccomended, as it is very easy for a man to kill a woman accidently, as when any of us are extremely angry, we do not realize our own strength. Of course, all of this would entirely depend on the size and strength of the woman that is assaulting the man. The man should only use the nessesary means to defend himself.

I, personally, have seen women slapping and punching men in the face and the man just standing there and taking it, most likely because thier parents have taught them to "never hit a woman, no matter what". I have taught my two teenage sons to, as I mentioned earlier, use only the means that are necessary in order to stop the assault. Hell, duct tape her to the floor/ground if necessary!!!
 lonertx63
Joined: 4/5/2005
Msg: 39
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 6/2/2005 5:25:39 PM
I was treated like hell by someone who was very close to me. It went on for many years. She is buried in the back pasture now.
 heavenscherubangel
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 40
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 6/4/2005 10:23:28 AM
Hi lonertx63!!!!

That's harsh!! But then again, so is the person that treated you that way!! Kick back, have a and forget about the wrongs that have been done to you - Wishing u the best in your future!!!

tigger123
 sweetieinlg
Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 41
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 6/4/2005 12:57:27 PM
I can finally talk about what my ex-husband did to me. It's taken almost 10 years to talk about it and still not in full detail. Physical abuse comes with emotional abuse. All the "I'm sorry, it will never happen again" that's all a form of mental abuse. We as women have to realize from day one what is going on and leave. Not that I did after the first time, but it's always my first suggestion now.
 grubeci
Joined: 10/30/2003
Msg: 42
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 lonertx63
Joined: 4/5/2005
Msg: 43
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 6/4/2005 3:05:17 PM
Hey tigger! Thanks for the wishes. I always make it, one way or another. But it seems life kept some more bad news in store for me. But then, most people have something bad in their lives. So what the hell do I know?
 bugsybears
Joined: 10/6/2004
Msg: 44
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 6/4/2005 3:05:29 PM
mental abuse with my ex and i did get through it. it was tuff though. wouldn't wish what i went through on anyone.
 heavenscherubangel
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 45
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 6/5/2005 12:36:23 PM
HI LONERTX63!!!

U KNOW A HELL OF A LOT MORE THAN YOU THINK YOU DO, OTHERWISE, YOU WOULD NOT STILL BE HERE ON EARTH (SURVIVING) RIGHT? lIKE I MENTIONED TO SWEETTINA EARIER - WHAT DOES NOT KILL YOU.....CAN ONLY MAKE YOU STRONGER!! TAKE CARE!!

tigger123
 Love_Angel
Joined: 5/17/2005
Msg: 46
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 6/5/2005 12:50:15 PM
I wish I could advise all the girls on here between the ages of 30 and 50 that my ex boyfriend cdx777 is on here looking for another woman. I wish I could advise all of them not to reply to him because he is violent and assaulted me and nearly killed me. He ended up in jail for a couple of weeks. A neighbour of his told me that he has been in jail several times for assaulting not only women but men as well and is considered violent. He states in his profile that he treats women like fairy tale women which he does at first but once he gets to know you a bit he takes advantage of you and started name calling. I just want to advise the women to stay clear of him. I wouldn't want anybody else to go through what I went through.
 Truebeautycomeswithin
Joined: 5/25/2005
Msg: 47
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 6/5/2005 1:00:07 PM
Yes I have been mental abused by my son father.at first when we met he was really nice and sweet.then after awhile he starting calling me out of my name calling every name you can think of.Im black and he is spanish.I had no clue that some spanish were racist of blacks.it got to the point where he would call me Monkey,,telling me Im nothing,comparing me to other women and boosting them up.we went to hooters on a doule date and the entire night he didnt pay me any attention.to busy watching those hooters women,and saying nasty remarks to them.he told one girl who didnt work at hooters he would give her 5.00 to take her top off.it really did hurt.he would call me on the phone and I would say hello and he would say I had a dream and then he would laugh.I thought that was very racist because Im black and Martin Luther king is black.but anyway,it got to the point where he would call and it wouldnt be more then 15 mintues he would call right back he would do this often through out our relationship.it got to be very nerve wrecking.if I went somewhere he would get upset and call me a whore and call me more names.when I became pregnant with my son it didnt stop.I went to his mother house one night to spend time with him and I went to go the bathroom.he put his arms around my neck and threw me on the bed.it was a big mess.his parents got involved and I told his step father I wanted to go back home to where my sister lives.because I went to stay in Florida for awhile with my sister.but instead he took me to a motel room instead.my father told him to put me on a bus and he didnt.he has gave my mother a finger behind her back said alot of mean nasty cruel things.I would never want to go through anything like this again or want for anybody to go through these things.I broke off contact with him and in August this will be a year I havent been in contact with him.
 GeorgieLeopard
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 48
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 6/5/2005 3:03:02 PM
No, only by one man almost three years ago. He went to jail. End of story.
 salamander000
Joined: 10/26/2004
Msg: 49
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Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 6/5/2005 3:11:11 PM
everyone has, have they not???
 heavenscherubangel
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 50
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 6/5/2005 4:00:09 PM
HI LOVE ANGEL!!!

AND A TRUE ANGEL U R !!!

THANK U FOR THE WARNING TO ALL OF GALS - IT TOOK COURAGE...AND U GOT IT GIRL!!!!


TIGGER123
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