| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 4/30/2008 6:59:54 PM |
Yada, yada...this message is too short to post....
Dontcha just hate that? Sometimes the opportunity for the best comic delivery can be just a one word response, and we can't do that here! | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 4/30/2008 7:12:43 PM | When you reiterate you don't want/like sex without something in return (a relationship);
Mac.. you gave the definition.. I gave the word/s/label/s.. and.. since we draw on our own experiences..............? | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 4/30/2008 8:03:46 PM |
No, it's just that we all get uglier with age, and we are not too appetizing!
Tough, it happens to everybody!
Not true. Many women age gracefully and look very appealing/sensual. I know many who qualify as such. If I was looking for a long term relationship, I'd be more apt to date my age or older..... without hesitation. Problem being (apparently)... I don't own a Harley. | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 4/30/2008 8:30:18 PM |
I was told by a large number of men that I contacted first, that they were glad I contacted them because they didn't contact women.
I seldom make first contact. It's the whole, rejection thing. I feel like it's, "ladies choice". Whether that's right or wrong, I don't know. | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 4/30/2008 8:45:47 PM | | I don't think they are afraid to approach women thier own age. I think they just don't want to. From what I see most of them are looking for women who are quite a bit younger. | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 5/1/2008 12:23:21 PM |
I wonder how many women think men don't approach them due to being "turned off" by her behaviour?
Not many, is my guess
revious post.
Just curious My I, what kinds of things would be deemed a turn off??
BJB | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 5/1/2008 7:25:26 PM | . WOMEN OVER FORTY
In case you missed it on 60 Minutes, this is what Andy Rooney thinks about women over 40:
As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
• A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.
• If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.
• Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.
• Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
• Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.
• Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
• Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her
• Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.
• For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?' here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
Andy Rooney is a really smart guy!
So what are you guys so worried about?
hnh
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 5/1/2008 8:26:33 PM | | Well put simplelady66. Thats prettymuch my take. I get the impression that I'm also being "shopped around" without being given a fair chance. So I normally wait for a woman to show interest....this might have something to do with me being still single...ha. But this approach definately has less anguish! | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 5/1/2008 8:27:57 PM | [Actually, there is an element of caution. Most of us have read news stories of women who appeared to be quick to charge stalking. Now whether the reality was more serious than the story we'll never know.]
I think some of the above is true. Actually, more to the point, is the issue of restraining orders ... good God what' the point!! lol THIS DOESN'T MEAN domestic violence isn't real.
My POV?
Regardless of gender, I'm more and more AMAZED how folks think the cops are here to solve our arguments for us!! We're so quick to submit to the "darkside"  of our human nature ; we want to be in control, "come out on top", dial 911, and, in the end, everybody loses... especially in that men and women either become enemies or just get tired of trying (perhaps both). ....
Over 40? Yeah and I still make contact... probably because I've never been married, divorced.. ect... but at 46 I'm definitley a little more tired of trying. So many ladies over 40 would be surprised how many nice guys are out there who are just tired of making the effort... That's the good news and, I suppose, the bad news! 
As for the truth? Men and women better (sooner than later) realize WE are made for each other and, in the end, WE can't survive w/out each other AND, in fact, if WE find a good one (not perfect)..WE can find alot of joyand peace.
Can I get an amen brother's and sister's???  | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 5/2/2008 4:46:40 AM | Hallelujah!
They said they were tired of getting ignored or treated badly by women, so they gave up trying to make first contact
For the most part, we've been making first contact for DECADES now........& the nature of the beast is, when you put yourself out there, you are likely to get rejected more often than not.
That gets tiring & old after a while.......I have to chuckle over some women's posts that they've had a bad experience when contacting someone so they're not going to do it again. Try 25+ years of that, Sister!
You learn to wait until you get some pretty strong signals before jumping into the fire again. Why persue something that most of the time does NOT want to be caught when there are women who will tell you how they feel straight up?
I'm sure it's nice to be persued & romanced......but many guys over 40 have learned to save their energy for the situations that have the best likelihood of working out for ALL parties involved. | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 5/2/2008 7:11:58 AM | I read lots of women's profiles and I contact some but I am very guilty of not following through quickly in the event I actually do get a response. Its a matter of priorities in my schedules and my confidence that the internet date and I will actually have enough mutual interest to grow a bond. The system limits of POF make the searching process difficult in that there are no folders to put people of interest in except "favorites" and too many people misinterpret the importance of that. They want immediate action or nothing and some of us aren't ready to reschedule based on the rather slim odds. I read comments in the forums from women who see their profile listed in someone's favorites but they don't get contacted right away. and figure the guys is some stalker or pervert. I would like to know how I feel about the person over time.
A very common desire I see in the women's profiles is a desire for some man to be totally swept away by someone he sees in a thumbnail picture and an all too short self description. At the same time, they want the fairy tail prince charming who posssess the opposing attributes of a "bad boy" and a loyal, faithful, devoted slave. It's no wonder they(we) are single. I have never been the "bad boy" and I know many bad boys I doubt could ever be trusted.
We're older now, its time for reality. Few, if any of us, can get anywhere on sex appeal alone. If sex appeal is all that you're selling, don't expect any real "long term" type guys to respond. There are plenty of "sexy" women who do that for a living and don't expect committment. I would suggest you try selling you the person who is ready to have an interest in someone else while being the interesting person you already are. If you contact me, be patient. Most of my spare time is already scheduled and it takes time to get to know someone. | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 5/2/2008 7:44:54 AM |
...when you put yourself out there, you are likely to get rejected more often than not.
That gets tiring & old after a while.......I have to chuckle over some women's posts that they've had a bad experience when contacting someone so they're not going to do it again. Try 25+ years of that, Sister!
Most single men have lots of experience getting rejected. It does get tiring after a while. Sometimes it just doesn't seem worth the effort and pain. I've learned that most women that you meet are married, attached, or not interested in a relationship. I need to have a sign of interest from the woman in order to proceed. | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 5/2/2008 8:41:11 AM | To Msg 45
I completely relate!! And I am a woman.
Without going into detail why my last relationship broke up I will just say that it is both men and women that are liars and cheats and when I say both sexes I do not mean everyone is like this.
Attention Men:
Do Not put all women in the same slot as those who take the money and run. Not all of us are like that. Just as I would not say all men are liars/cheats. Play games and then blame us women.
Approach men in public? I am a very friendly person and I talk to all types of people. In your 20's to whatever age you are. I have worked with the public basically all of my life and approaching people is what I do for a living. So, needless to say, some men think I am hitting on them. LOL
And I am still quite shy until you get to know me.
Let's not put anyone into a catagory as this tends not to work for most of us. JMO | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 5/2/2008 2:11:12 PM | This may sound funny but I have met more women by not trying to meet them. I just go through my days living life and trying to enjoy it. No expectations. I find when I try to meet them I get all nervous and stupid! The real person doesn't show through. So I have decided to just go with the flow. I've no problems being alone if necassary. I would definitely prefer to meet someone who is a kindred spirit. But I have found you cannot make it happen.
I have found though that there are not as many available men and women out there as we think. They are in relationships, married, dating, families to take care of or just not interested anymore. Or as many say tired!
As we get older I find most of us have a set point of view also and some are quite unflexible about it. We want it our way! 
I must say the forums have become my favorite part of the site. It gives the clearest picture of each of us. | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 5/2/2008 4:36:28 PM | I keep getting the feeling that older men are more cautious because of their past experiences. I can't seem to get one to take the time to get to know me for me. If I was much younger they would probably go for it easier cause as I've heard many times "they can mold the younger woman to what they want." lol.
Older women are more experienced and most can't be fooled by the BS men throw out there. I feel that a younger man would take a chance on a relationship than an older man.
I have met at least 50 men and I would say half of them we just didn't have most things in common or they just knew in the first hour there wasn't any connection. But it was so strange that we could be having the best time and conversation and be laughing. I felt a connection as in being with a nice person with a good personality and sense of humor. How am I to know if they would be a good mate or not unless I would get to know them? I never could figure this out. | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 5/2/2008 4:47:04 PM |
I keep getting the feeling that older men are more cautious because of their past experiences. I can't seem to get one to take the time to get to know me for me.
I can say the exact same thing about women over 45. They are extremely cautious because they have been hurt by past relationships and experiences. | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 5/2/2008 4:58:21 PM | | I get more glances from older men, and more approaches from younger men. When I do contact older men they would say, as mentioned above, that they are glad I made first contact and was too shy to do so. I noticed as I get older the approaches are less in number, one because we (men and women) are more mature and looking at the whole picture and I guess a bit insecure of acceptance. Oh they are interested thats for sure. But are we over looking them? | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 5/2/2008 5:09:56 PM | Ma'm you kinda answered your own question ......anywho go back through what
you typed and put YES MA'M! after every question mark and you'll
have your answer.
By the time we finally figured out the women didn't want us chasing them. They up
and wondered why we stopped chasing them. Enough years passed during the chasing
stage that we wore out and they wore out And then my darling ,my dear, the ladies
got indignant and wondered if it was their fault or our fault that they didn't seem appealing. Actually, we still promenade and chase...it's just at our own pace.
God ain't made nuthin' better for a ol' fool man than a woman. 'Cept maybe
an ol' fool woman.
Skunk...Just struttin' by with my Tail in the Air! | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 5/2/2008 5:56:26 PM | By the time we finally figured out the women didn't want us chasing them. They up
and wondered why we stopped chasing them. Enough years passed during the chasing
stage that we wore out and they wore out And then my darling ,my dear, the ladies
got indignant and wondered if it was their fault or our fault that they didn't seem appealing. Actually, we still promenade and chase...it's just at our own pace.
God ain't made nuthin' better for a ol' fool man than a woman. 'Cept maybe
an ol' fool woman.
Skunk...Just struttin' by with my Tail in the Air!
...This is uncanny. My gal pals and I were discussing this very topic at lunch today
Friend # 1....I think its all about the chase, men really love the chase.
Friend # 2...Yeah and as soon as they catch you they realize they really didn't want to catch you.
Me.....Did you two join POF?
BTW...Love the new pic skunky
...maeflowers | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 5/2/2008 7:21:27 PM | That was a real sweet comment . That comment alone , if read by someone paying attention and note it for a red flag that it is. How easy it was for you to put a woman down that you don't even know!  | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 5/2/2008 7:33:31 PM | It's a good thing I read this thread. I was still under the misapprehension that men made the first move! Obviously I've been out of the dating game for a long time, but this is a BIG cultural shift. It leaves me with a dilemma, though. Nothing in my experience has prepared me for making an initial contact with a man, and I am very insecure about it. I guess now I know how men used to feel about this when I was a young woman. If I'd only known then what I know now... | |
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