| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 6/18/2008 1:44:53 PM |
^^Really? You have to be kidding me? Sorry but I simply have to disagree with what you say here. My g/f's don't just talk about it for the sake of preserving their sexual image! If men truly were aware of what travelled inside the female mind when looking at a handsome man they very well could be shocked!!
Which part are you disagreeing with?
If the women you are talking about are entering relationships with men, that's great, but my statement was about the permanently single women out there who are bragging about their 'hundreds' of emails yet never actually date, have sex, or enter relationships.
Also, 'thinking' and 'doing' are not the same thing. It doesn't really matter what someone is thinking if they never act on it. | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 6/18/2008 1:54:03 PM |
You don't approach with reckless abandon in your 40's or 50's.. You WILL look like a fool period.. No fear, just a fool, an old fool..
I didn't used to, but I do now. I doubt most women I approach describe me as a fool, especially when they give me their phone number. The guys that go to social events and stand against a wall clutching their beers to their chests and never going outside their social circle -- THAT gets noticed by women, and those guys are called AFCs (Average Frustrated Chumps).
Dating now is a job interview, Where do you work? What is your position? Translation: Do you make enough $$ to make this worth it for me...
This (and the rest of your post) indicates that you are letting women control the frame of the conversation. YOU should be taking the lead, and it should not be an interview. You have about 30 seconds to show you are intelligent, confident, funny, have value, and can take the lead. If you spent that 30 seconds submissely answering every question put to you, you FAIL as partner material in most womens' minds.
Think of the 10 most common boring questions people ask each other, and vow to NEVER use them when first meeting a woman. You need to stand out from the crowd, not ask like the 100th emasculated male she's met that night. And the more attractive she is, the more important this concept it. | |
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zeeba
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Joined: 3/27/2008
Msg: 179 | |
| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 6/18/2008 3:30:06 PM |
You've brought up a lot of topics here!
Boy, I have, haven't I?  That's OK, though, because I am really enjoying this thread and getting a lot out of it. I think it's healthy for men and women to discuss these issues.
GotFin, I do appreciate your suggestions and perhaps we all (men and women) need to take them to heart. I must note that I have certainly done all you suggested and more. Your observation about single men who have been "shot down" a number of times is a good one, and something that I should remember.
My tale of woe: In the last two years, I have been out with just one single guy about my age (introduced by mutual friends, and we both liked each other, or so I thought.) We went out on three dates, and I was really starting to like him. We had some interests in common, and his profession was just enough different from mine -- so, I really liked that as well! As you might guess, after the third date I never saw him again. I joked to friends that he must have entered the Witness Protection Program. A couple of months later, he left a message on my answering machine to say hello; I called back and got his machine, and left a nice message back. And...that was it. I was so disappointed.
A few months later, I met someone else at a work-related function. Wow -- I was sort of amazed after my last experience that any guy was actually looking at me again. We went out for some fun lunches and had great conversations, plus some flirting. I then had to go out of town for a week and we made arrangements to have lunch again when I returned. When we did, I could tell he was a bit nervous...well, he had good reason to be. In the middle of lunch, he dropped the bomb. He was married (of course, unhappily, right?) but made it VERY clear that if I were interested, he would love to hook up nevertheless! I turned down his generous offer, but I really was heartbroken. I didn't feel guilty because I didn't know his situation until he told me...but I was still so angry and sad. And no, he didn't wear a wedding ring and there was no telltale tan line.
So you see, GotFin, we 40-something women are struggling with many of the same problems. Sometimes I think I would faint dead away if a nice single, available guy wanted to go out with me, more than just once! That would be SO great. | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 6/18/2008 3:38:50 PM | | Take out your reading glasses sweetheart and read the post again. I am sure you will find that nowhere in there did I insinuate that I needed the little blue pill, however after looking at your profile I may have to change that. | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 6/18/2008 5:01:24 PM | ^^^I am sorry Sir but that was just a low blow! Anyone who cannot defend their thoughts without insults shows a fellow that most don't want to know. You posted that you expected flack, you got it and now you insult? Too much!!!
OT: Yes there really are so many components to this dating over 40, heck even over 50. I guess as Mr. Fin says, why not just throw caution to the winds? One never knows when opportunity is there. | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 6/18/2008 5:05:54 PM |
I don't don't mean to sound harsh but this is dating whe you are a 40+ year old man..
It's reality.. That is why there is such a high percenatge of single men over 40...
There are? Could you please show me where they are hiding then my good man???
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shimbo
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Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 183 | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 6/18/2008 7:01:12 PM |
Take out your reading glasses sweetheart and read the post again. I am sure you will find that nowhere in there did I insinuate that I needed the little blue pill, however after looking at your profile I may have to change that.
I took out my reading glasses and decided the above was for me, and don't call me sweetheart! I see you can dish it out but can't take it. With or without a little blue pill, I wouldn't let you come within 100 miles of me!
Peace!
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 6/18/2008 8:02:23 PM | Phew! I was really worried that my friend Ageless would have lost her good sense and entertained the thought!!!
I don't get why things escalade into insults. Perhaps that is the very reason why "some" of us are single! | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 6/19/2008 4:58:16 AM | moon, better to be single than to be with someone who insults us, eh?
The day I lose my sense of humor, is the day they bury me, but then again, maybe I will continue on in the next life
Don't sweat the small stuff! I don't let words on my computer screen take away my joy!
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 6/19/2008 5:01:08 AM | | My apologies to Ageless. In reading your reply, I took it as an insult and was replying in kind. I now see where it could have been meant as nothing more than a humourous comeback. Sorry! | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 6/19/2008 10:52:38 AM |
My apologies to Ageless. In reading your reply, I took it as an insult and was replying in kind. I now see where it could have been meant as nothing more than a humourous comeback. Sorry!
No problem here. I rarely take these forums serious, I guess that could be a problem, lol | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 6/19/2008 4:25:23 PM | | Yeh, this is all true. Including the gender bashing. By that, it is such a reality from both army camps. We all have tire tracks over our backs, more or less, or else some of us were the drivers of those off-road vehicles. | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 6/21/2008 12:43:27 AM | Its a sad fact that in this age of politicol correctness that aproaching a women may ne misconscrued as harrasmrnt & by jung I'm afrued you may be correct in your
assumption | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 6/21/2008 11:34:20 AM | | yes we are becouse we now know woman at this time in the game and they are not easy and you get hurt if not afraid belive me I seen what they can do but I like them but dont trust any of them .so do what you have to couse we r going to die one day game over after that so all this is bs no budy loves no body is just something we like to belive in our early days but after 40 everything changes and you find out that all is b.s this is like a trip thats all and if your over 40 and you dont have money forget woman they want money and plenty be carfull out there dont be a full for an ass | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 6/22/2008 11:55:03 AM |
I think that men need some kind of signal before they approach. That is what makes internet dating so tough on men over 40. They never get the signal.
...Maybe POF should install signal lights, red means no thanks, green means go and yellow....proceed, but with caution.
...maeflowers | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 6/22/2008 12:34:40 PM | Ok, so I felt a little bad about my rant about no longer being willing to date 40+ women, so I did some research here, found a late-40s woman that seemed fun, interesting, thoughtful and cute. From reading her forum posts and profile, I can see we share views on a number of things. I emailed her, got a nice reply the next day.
She lives about an hour drive from me, so I took the lead and offered to drive to see her, proposing a specific day, 5 days in advance. I included my email and phone number. The next day I looked in my 'sent items' and saw my email was READ but no reply. 3 days later, still no reply. I know show has been in this site because she posts in these forums, so it's not a matter of not having time or not getting online.
In the meantime, I heard back from a 20-something and a mid-30s former model I dated in the spring and wants to see me again, and another 30-something I met at a social event last week. So, I have made plans to see them.
In other words - yet again, the under-40 women are proactively involved and showing interest in dating. The over 40 can't be bothered to even reply to say 'no thanks', which seems to be typical of this age group, at least in my experience.
As I said in the previous post, I actually prefer to date women near my age, but the reality is they treat men like they are a dime a dozen and don't even feel the need to be polite, as proven here yet again. Yet I don't get treated like that by the younger women, who actually have MORE suitors!
Final note: I emailed the 40-something a nice note saying I have to assume at this point she is not interested. That email has also been read, and again NO REPLY.
So guys, if you are over 40, I STRONGLY suggest you focus your attention on the younger women who actually WANT to date and WANT a partner.
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 6/22/2008 1:54:39 PM | | Those are my sentiments excactly. I have to assume that women over 40 really don't know what they want or they are satisfied with just internet romance. At this point, I won't waste my time or energy trying to pursue a woman close to my age. | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 6/22/2008 2:33:10 PM | | There is some truth to the fact that there is burn out. I work eleven hour days. My weekends are for recovering. I've had girls hit on me occasionally, but I am usually in a hurry, incredibly tired, or stressed out from work. A relationship in the past has taken too much time, and I've discovered that unmarried life is much easier. I've tried to make more time, but it hasn't worked for me. Such is life. | |
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shimbo
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Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 200 | |
| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 6/22/2008 2:37:13 PM |
I actually prefer to date women near my age, but the reality is they treat men like they are a dime a dozen and don't even feel the need to be polite, as proven here yet again. Yet I don't get treated like that by the younger women, who actually have MORE suitors!
I haven't followed up on any younger women yet but my experience is similar. I've avoided the younger women so far because it's often clear that they see me as a house & security for their children (either pre-existing or to-be-made). I have no interest in that but now I see how men in my age bracket could take advantage of the situation. | |
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Apparently I am! It has been way to long since I have been in a good relationship I have no idea what kind of person I am anymore.
