| Do you fellas message first?
Posted: 4/30/2008 8:08:40 AM | ANd the profiles with 4 lines. Forget about them, you don't want someone without anything to say anyways (regardless of how good-looking they are).
maybe they have lots to say but are just not comphy getting started saying it ...i was that way but i have evolved ...dont judge people by what they dont say .....it might just be your loss | |
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| Do you fellas message first?
Posted: 4/30/2008 8:33:27 AM | deerdog1,
It's never my loss.
I know for a fact that I don't enjoy dating mutes nor motor-mouths.
Different strokes for different folks.
And I do prefer people that aren't afraid to show their personality on here (photos, interest, thoughts, etc.)
I have my opinion & you have yours so move along. | |
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| Do you fellas message first?
Posted: 4/30/2008 8:41:57 AM | | Women have a hard time always starting the conversation. Its nice when a guy is confident enough to message first. | |
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| Do you fellas message first?
Posted: 4/30/2008 8:44:18 AM | I have my opinion & you have yours so move along.
and you stated your opinion and i pointed out why i disagree with it ...its what debating is all about ...the problem is when you tell me to move along ..it shows your arrogance ...you move along if you want and i will stay as long as i want ...thank you ...peace my friend | |
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| Do you fellas message first?
Posted: 4/30/2008 1:03:25 PM | | The whole point in online dating, as I see it, is to put out enough information to interest people. If I don't see anything interesting, I'm not going to spend my time digging. I'm more than capable of doing the "random chat and dig" in real life. I come here looking for something different. | |
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| Do you fellas message first?
Posted: 4/30/2008 1:22:49 PM | | Once a month I will drop a message if I like their profile. Usually I just browse. The women that contact me I usually don't reply only cause ether a) they live way to far out of state b) I know this is going to sound shallow but If they are from New York City they are really over weight & I dont mean a little thick I mean fat obese. Im sorry but I work out & I want a woman who at least has a shape & I can be attracted to them or c) They are too old & we have nothing in common. | |
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| Do you fellas message first?
Posted: 4/30/2008 1:33:14 PM | I do not browse the profiles. I browsed the first days on the site and found too many profiles lacking substance. I would rather see how a person approaches in an email. After reading the email I review their profile. I turned off IM as to the quality of the IM'ers. However, I do scope out the profiles of the guys & gals arthoring forum responses with opinions that are appealing, interesting and insightful. Most of them have the type of profiles that would have kept me browsing. Dag -- Geography is never a friend.
I get enough emails -- I can't say that I run from the contacter -- to be contacted is my stated preference. I don't feel obligated to meet a person because they emailed and that sometimes hits a sour note with the gentleman.
For the people that believe women are on here to get big ego's -- what is up with that ?? Not speaking for all of us ladies but that concept never entered my mind. | |
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| Do you fellas message first?
Posted: 4/30/2008 1:44:28 PM | looks like were at an impasse, -no one wants to make the first move.
-and how old are we again?  | |
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| Do you fellas message first?
Posted: 4/30/2008 2:40:37 PM | | I agree with you Fifties forever. I think you have to try, that we should all be messaging those people we find interesting. I think its all like a big party.. we see someone we think is interesting and either we go up to them and met them or we let the opportunity go by and wonder later why serendipity has passed us by. | |
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| Do you fellas message first?
Posted: 5/1/2008 1:01:56 AM | Trapping has to be the best way to hunt... so to speak
I think the best way to go about things is to get some great pictures, write a deliciously good profile that would be interesting to the type you're looking for... and wait for your catches. Once your amazing "trap" is set, now you have time to browse a little and do some active hunting for stand out "prey"... So there, you can do BOTH and make it work! | |
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| Do you fellas message first?
Posted: 5/1/2008 5:32:14 AM |
looks like were at an impasse, -no one wants to make the first move.
-and how old are we again?
i tried making the first move ...it just didnt work ....again if your profile catches a womans attention many will make first contact ...and among those that do a guy stands a much better chance of getting a date ...face it most women on here are looking for red flags ...they have been contacted by so many jerks ...and they have a much bigger variety to choose from .... no if they see fit to make first contact .... the battle is half won ....so to speak | |
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| Do you fellas message first?
Posted: 5/1/2008 8:07:30 AM | Do you fellas message first?
Posted: 4/29/2008 6 46 PM
And yet 90% of the profiles I have read, regardless of pictures, is less than 40 words long.
Boy size really is everything. Some peoples profiles are so long I want to ask for the Coles Notes version. Honestly reading a profile should not require a long term commitment. I love reading profiles that are fun and witty, not ones that appear to be like a job application. Don't people want to work even a little? Finding out about someone is the funnest part, and if I wanted to have fun all by myself, I'd masturbate...oh or read profiles. Talk to people, its interesting and yeah you might not date every single person you message, but you also might enjoy the discussions. | |
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| Do you fellas message first?
Posted: 5/1/2008 7:47:23 PM | deerdog1 wrote: i tried making the first move ...
it just didn't work ....again if your profile catches
a woman's attention many will make first contact
...and among those that do a guy stands a much
better chance of getting a date ...
Some men have excellent success making the first move.
I wonder what they're doing differently. | |
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| Do you fellas message first?
Posted: 9/2/2008 1:56:42 PM | | my case... I have always been the shy type when it comes to approaching a woman and making the first move. I guess I'm always afraid of looking like a dork or looking too desperate. Call it a lack of confidence if you want. It is no longer the 20th century and I think it's perfectly normal for a woman o maske the move if she finds a guy interesting enough. A few words on a profile won't tell you too much about a person. we just have to get to know one another. I'm all about the equal opportunity thing. | |
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| Do you fellas message first?
Posted: 9/2/2008 2:06:27 PM |
A woman who looks at your profile likely saw something that interested her... and if she likes your profile she'll leave a message or add you as a favorite or something. If she doesn't then she was just looking, and you don't have to waste your time trying to get at her!
Keep that approach and by the end of the century you may get an additional five messages.
The reality is. Men approach, women veto. While an okay looking woman, meaning she is not hot, but simply nice, can get 100 messages a day. A guy, fairly good looking, or with an incredible profile will only get 2 messages from women a week, and one out of 50 of those will pan out. Now, if you as a guy, learn how to approach in a way that stands out, and learn how to make her respond, out of 100 messages you send, 85% will respond, 50% will engage in conversation, and at least 9 to 10 will be someone you may want to invite for a cup of coffee or a drink. Which one do you prefer? Just do the math. | |
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| Do you fellas message first?
Posted: 9/2/2008 3:42:52 PM | | If what OutMind says is correct. I need to put a false picture and lie on my profile. As its not working properly the way it is... | |
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| Do you fellas message first?
Posted: 9/2/2008 3:47:23 PM | | OP good luck with that attitude..............and people wonder why they are stuck on here for ages and never find anyone.........WTF? | |
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| Do you fellas message first?
Posted: 9/2/2008 7:23:29 PM |
Women have a hard time always starting the conversation. Its nice when a guy is confident enough to message first.
I don't agree. Maybe some women do. but when you are able to take your time looking at someone's PROFILE with their interests and a bunch of basic information about themselves all presented... well, if you have anything in common at all it is easy to start the conversation. I send out a lot of initial emails, often just to chat with someone halfway across the world that shares some obscure interest.
But there are some very interesting people who have contacted me first that I would not have known about if they didn't make the initial contact. So really, guy or girl, its your loss if you never want to try. | |
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| Do you fellas message first?
Posted: 9/2/2008 7:41:31 PM | I message people first. It definately is not about sex, its about some commonality or the fact they looked at my profile and I wanted to thank them for their time.
Why does it have to be so freakin complicated to just simply talk to people? | |
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| Do you fellas message first?
Posted: 9/2/2008 8:04:49 PM |
Why does it have to be so freakin complicated to just simply talk to people?
AMEN! To be honest this has got to be the weirdest place i ever seen. It's more easy to have a tooth pulled than it is to talk to people on this website. Some of the profiles i read makes the writer sound completely approachable. But when you message them they act like there socially retarded. I haven't sent out a first contact message in a while now. I finally did meet a lady that i like. But, There was a time when i felt like a lot of others do here. It's a waste of time and energy trying to send out messages to a bunch of social misfits that don't even seem to know how to relate to another human being. | |
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| Do you fellas message first?
Posted: 9/2/2008 8:15:25 PM | I’ve not tried to initiate contact with anyone in over two years now.
I don’t even look at profiles anymore.
I simply have no interest in being one of 50 guys she is goofing around with.
Many (if they admit it or not) nicer looking 48-54 year old gals are looking for pool boys anyway and getting them I bet. | |
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| Do you fellas message first?
Posted: 9/2/2008 8:30:09 PM |
I prefer not to message first. Any attractive female is likely inundated with messages from guys. I suspect that a lot of the ladies on here get a big ego boost from all the messages they go through. The phrase "lost in the shuffle" comes to mind.
That's why I prefer to win friends over with my stunning posting abilities.
OP I thought the same way when I joined POF, and to this day I can say I've been pleasantly surprised Ive met some real lookers from POF you just have to have a positive attitude and be yourself and they swarm like bee's to honey. | |
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| Do you fellas message first?
Posted: 9/2/2008 9:48:50 PM | | ron that comment really pisses me off...............I am 46 and NOT looking for a pool boy, toy boy or whatever the hell you want to call them. But just because I'm not interested in you, for example, does NOT mean I am looking for some young guy. I've had 25 year olds asking if I'd be interested. I tell them no. I am sick and freakin' tired of men like you that have become jaded and think you know how every woman in your age category thinks. No wonder you've been here for 2 years..........sorry but you need to snap back to reality. | |
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| Do you fellas message first?
Posted: 9/2/2008 10:04:22 PM | Spicy ...........
If you had looked at hundreds of female profiles and seen ...... (say the gal was 50) her age spread that she had on her profile 25-51 over and over and over and over - you may understand what I said.
BTW ....... save your personal attacks and just post to the topic. | |
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| Do you fellas message first?
Posted: 9/2/2008 11:15:22 PM | | Another small statement on this subject. This being the Internet i know there are all kinds of nuts and just plain weird people. When you join a site like this whether you be male or female you join knowing what your getting into. With that said there is some risk involved. Which is something that we should all take into account when we message someone. I believe that there is a lot of people that are here with the intention of trying to meet someone that they click with. But at the same time they know, Unless there totally naive or stupid that the person they just answered or just messaged them could be some kind of nut case. I think that is one of the bigger things that holds some of the people here back from answering when someone messages them. Also, There are to many on here that are to shy. So, When a man messages them they don't know what to say. Me personally, I would rather message first. But i have learned that at least 95 to 98 % of the time i am not going to get a reply. I have also figure it out that the biggest reason for that is the nut cases that came before me. You know, The dumb ass kind that doesn't accept rejection gracefully. All it takes is one bad apple to ruin the whole bunch. I have accepted that and i don't let it bother me. As time passes and people get nuttier places like POF will sink into obscurity. | |
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