| Would You Travel Hundreds Of Miles For A First Date?
Posted: 1/11/2006 4:31:35 PM | after all my experiences here, over the past 8 months, i seriously doubt that i would travel that far - not even out of curiosity. i would allow a guy to come visit me, after extensive communication, and just have a good time, without any expectations. i have found that so many people (guys in my situation) put on a very good front......then again, it could just be that they never thought we were a good match. who really knows?!?
in any event, i have now decided that my only goal, here at POF, is to try and make lasting friendships. if any of those friendships should develop any further, well, great! if not, no big deal. at least i will have made another friend. we can never have too many friends out there! | |
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| Would You Travel Hundreds Of Miles For A First Date?
Posted: 1/11/2006 7:37:16 PM | | I am thinking about doing something along these lines in March. I'll let ya'll know if I do. I have friends in that area-acutally 10 miles away, so I know between they & I, we can find something to do for a couple days if it doesn't work out. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. | |
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| Would You Travel Hundreds Of Miles For A First Date?
Posted: 1/11/2006 10:43:32 PM | I have, I did, I'm there...
Life is about failing..It's about getting hurt..it's about growing as individuals
And how do we grow as individuals? By screwing up royally (which I know all about) by getting hurt, by failing..often
Not by cooping yourself up in your house and protecting yourself..Not by limiting true love by mere mileage.
Yes, you've been hurt..We all have..What defines us is how we come out of those situations. For some, they go into hiding and never come out again for fear of being hurt again..for others, it provides them with perspective and inner strength to keep plugging away. For others, they become vindictive and begin their life long quest to demonize the men who have faulted them..
Hey we all fault and we've all been faulted..pull up your huggies and move forward..
The bottom line is if we allow fear to dictate our lives, then we will only end up withering as devolved souls who havent grown beyond our pain.
So go..stop putting together your own department of repunzal homeland security...So he's a serial killer..so you die..you come back anyway..start over..more advanced..Because here's the problem..once you start placing all these security stop gaps in place, what you are doing in essence is sabatoging the encounter before it starts..not conciously, but subconciously..youre preparing for the worst conciously, but your subconcious is accepting failure as a given.
It's ok to be safe, but anything to one extreme is never good.
I just checked mapblast..My girl was 1,525 miles away..But you know what..she could have been in Tibet raising Yaks for all I care..The point is that true love comes but on rare occassions..I know..because I fell into the trap of trying to shove women into molds they could never possibly fit in because of the need for wanting it so badly.
But when it does come, you take hold and you hold on for dear life. And you dont allow past fear, pain and failure to deter you. You allow it to empower you. | |
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| Would You Travel Hundreds Of Miles For A First Date?
Posted: 1/12/2006 7:41:39 AM | I would never do it. I met a guy once from PA (I'm in Newfoundland) and I really wanted to go and meet him. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. With my luck he'd end up selling me into the white slave trade or something. I have horrible luck. I still talk to this guy from time to time as a pen pal though, he's really nice and from the pictures that I've seen, very handsome. It would have to be where I live for us to meet.
I watched a show once on A&E about a woman who met a guy online and when he travelled to see her he murdered her and her two small children. You never know what you're getting into when you meet a person on the internet. You have to understand that they could be telling you anything.
I think that when people are lonely, they get caught up in the fantasy of this mystery person that they've met. I've seen it time and time again. It happened to me. My guy was really wonderful and I had myself believing that we were written in the stars. You have to always remember that if you're supposed to really be with this person, shouldn't they live where you live?
Furthermore, why would they expect a woman to travel alone to meet them? Never give out your personal address. If they are coming to see you, split the cost of a hotel with them or something. A girl has to be careful with all the crazies out there.
OP  | |
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| Would You Travel Hundreds Of Miles For A First Date?
Posted: 1/12/2006 8:14:09 AM |
not everyone can take vacation at whim to fly off and meet someone
who said anything about whims?
If we go ice skating on the pond, we could fall through and die
If we go hiking in the mountains a gust of wind can blow us off the side and we die
If we get in our car, an errant 18 wheeler can careen into us and we die
If we eat the ham sandwich, we could choke and die
Growing up, we lived in an area that wasnt very safe..Do you know my mother never locked the doors to the house..You know why?..Because she refused to succumb to fear..people around us had bars on their windows, but she refused..
And you know how many home invasions we had?..Zero...Luck?..maybe..But I believe that when we succumb to fear, we become victims...
Oh so some woman and her children died..in comparison to how many successful meetings without the whole family being chopped up.. | |
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| Would You Travel Hundreds Of Miles For A First Date?
Posted: 1/12/2006 8:23:28 AM | Ocean, if A&E aired a show about two people for whom it worked out great, nobody would watch. Just like if a newspaper displayed a 60-pt headline that screamed "LIFE IS GREAT," no one would buy it.
By all means, tho, you have to be comfortable (beyond the first-meeting jitters) doing something, whether it's flying 500 miles to meet someone or meeting someone you've talked to online (and therefore don't REALLY know whether he's an axe murderer) at a local coffee shop. | |
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| Would You Travel Hundreds Of Miles For A First Date?
Posted: 1/13/2006 3:36:33 AM | | Very risky! The last man that I had a long-distance relationship with turned out to be an ex-convict...spent 11 yrs in federal penitentiaries. Lost an excellent job over him, too! I'm lucky I didn't lose my life...one of the charges was attempted murder. Girlfriends, be safe! | |
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