| Young At Heart ???
Posted: 10/14/2008 6:25:15 PM | "young at heart," "looks younger than his age," "feels younger," or "acts younger," it is an instant turnoff for me, too.
In my view, it is a great deal of fluff. What the heck - we are what we are. This preoccupation with being younger than our years is preposterous. Every single time I see that "I look younger than my age", I take a peek at the photograph and then wonder whose warped mirror this person is looking in to. Gwendolyn's post wraps it up in a nutshell and so does Wooby, as usual.
*I'm Scintillating Angel and I approve this message* | |
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| Young At Heart ???
Posted: 10/14/2008 7:45:51 PM | I will agree the term is abused by some, but for many others perhaps instead of looking at it negatively, it could/should be interrupted as an abbreviation of:
“I’m cheerful, optimistic, hopeful, and haven’t given up on dreams. I look forward to the future and what it has to offer. I still want to learn and explore life. These are things that make me feel young at heart and things I want to maintain.”
The person saying that could also be saying “if you are prematurely aged, too serious, overbearing, and set in you ways; think you’ve learned all you need to about life and are ready to kick back and let the cobwebs grow over your wrinkles then we’re probably not a good fit.”
We should always be careful how we interrupt things least we are guilty of being too judgmental and perhaps too controlling.
True someone that looks every bit their age stating “I look younger than my age so I prefer to date much younger people” is pretty flaky. In fact last weekend I posted a blip about that on my profile, something about “I should have lied” pointing out how silly it is for people to claim they are 10 years younger then their true age. This came about by me doing a local search for men my age and finding a huge percent of them had upper age limits on who could email established at 10 years their junior and men posting they were 10 years younger than they really are. (Many women do it too, so this isn’t a dig on men, I just don’t happen to view many women’s profiles).
I’m sure plenty of people view my profile and think it is flakey and I really don’t care. I change it all the time simply to get a reaction out of it. Life goes on and tomorrow is another day. Life is good!  | |
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| Young At Heart ???
Posted: 10/14/2008 7:49:14 PM | | Young at heart is code for I am old, at least too old for me to date. It is a major red flag and when I see it I know the woman is old. A 35 - 45 year old does not present herself in such light. | |
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| Young At Heart ???
Posted: 10/14/2008 9:53:12 PM | | I wonder if people who continuously point to the fact they only date or only want to date people 20 or 30 years younger realize how much it highlights that they themselves are old and that they are very conscious of being old? Curious ain't it? | |
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| Young At Heart ???
Posted: 10/14/2008 10:00:12 PM | | I had kinda decided you guys were ignoring him, and then so should I. I keep wondering why someone needs to reaffirm himself so much. Geesh. | |
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| Young At Heart ???
Posted: 10/15/2008 4:19:11 AM |
I wonder if people who continuously point to the fact they only date or only want to date people 20 or 30 years younger realize how much it highlights that they themselves are old and that they are very conscious of being old?
Nah, they never see the highlights, they stay in the shadows to avoid the light. | |
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| Young At Heart ???
Posted: 10/15/2008 4:52:41 AM | | I appreciate having a heart that is what it is at any given time, scars and all. I wouldn't want a young heart again, nor do I need to avoid where it's been. I too raise an eyebrow when I hear "young at heart", I guess I have to take it in context to the rest of their ad when I read it. Sometimes it does indeed sound like a desperate sales pitch. Those who are comfortable with themselves inside, it seems, wouldn't have to advertise where there heart is, they will show it in many ways besides their age. JMHO. | |
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| Young At Heart ???
Posted: 10/15/2008 5:55:49 AM | | I will always feel 18. I tell people I will never be old. They don't get it, but that's okay; I know what I mean...attitude and great genes. | |
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| Young At Heart ???
Posted: 10/15/2008 7:38:03 AM | | Men who date far younger women are never popular with women "of a certain age" who are "young at heart" because these women are being rejected as potential dating partners by such men who are able to date younger women. Gotta be able to stand the heat or get outta the kitchen! | |
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| Young At Heart ???
Posted: 10/15/2008 8:18:54 AM | Age, age, age...for the record books, not for my heart-who cares? Unless it's wine or cheese, who gives a flying F*CK?! Sometimes the human race astounds... | |
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| Young At Heart ???
Posted: 10/15/2008 8:48:53 AM |
Men who date far younger women are never popular with women "of a certain age" who are "young at heart" because these women are being rejected as potential dating partners by such men who are able to date younger women. Gotta be able to stand the heat or get outta the kitchen!
If this is what you want to think, then think it....I wouldn't have such a man on a silver plater with a million dollars attached....a man of 65 is too old for me first off, and men with fixations on barbie dolls and continuously having to reaffirm their youth and desirablility by constantly referring to that fixation is far too much of a fool to interest me. I and most women my age could date men 20 or more years younger, if we chose to....most of us get approached by them on a regular basis. However, we don't choose to because we like men who are at our own maturity level. Men who are not my intellectual and emotional peers are well suited to date younger women. I am not interested in them, so it makes no difference to me. However, it is rather tiresome to have to listen over and over again to fools ranting on and on with their foolishness. Obviously a word to the wise doesn't help...as I am not speaking to the wise. And, of course, it is, in fact, unwise of me to even try. | |
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| Young At Heart ???
Posted: 10/15/2008 8:51:16 AM | Sheesh! Again, preference, needs, desires,etc..WOW! I'm not going to date a 90 year old female, but someone a bit older doesn't scare me off...Yikes!  | |
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| Young At Heart ???
Posted: 10/15/2008 9:53:14 AM | | If one isn't young at his or her body, how could he or she is young at heart? Maybe one can only dream about what he or she can't do, which means young at heart, dreaming at daytime. When I read this phrase from one's profile, I have to laugh... | |
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| Young At Heart ???
Posted: 10/15/2008 1:43:01 PM | Young at heart? Or are they really saying young and hard? I don't know about anyone else. I look in decent shape, younger than my years I'm told (when I tip well). But chronic pain is a companion of mine. I worked very hard all my life and I wore out parts of my anatomy. My heart is still good though. Strong. Young.
I don't know nothing about attitude. I know this: bodies have a finite life span. Most people will know when they are getting old. Their bodies will send them a message. | |
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| Young At Heart ???
Posted: 10/15/2008 3:01:56 PM |
it could/should be interrupted as an abbreviation of:
“I’m cheerful, optimistic, hopeful, and haven’t given up on dreams. I look forward to the future and what it has to offer. I still want to learn and explore life. These are things that make me feel young at heart and things I want to maintain.”
Again, when did those qualities become the sole possession of the young or "young at heart"? I find that insulting to people like me who say "I am what I am," but "admitting" my age means that I am NOT cheerful, optimistic, hopeful, etc. Why should I have to qualify my outlook on life? Because I say it doesn't make it so. As I tell students, show, don't tell.
The person saying that could also be saying “if you are prematurely aged, too serious, overbearing, and set in you ways; think you’ve learned all you need to about life and are ready to kick back and let the cobwebs grow over your wrinkles then we’re probably not a good fit.”
Another assumption that people of a certain age are too serious, overbearing, set in ways, etc. As I said in my last post, no one is special because they THINK that they look or act younger; some of us are content to be who we are without the NEED to explain ourselves.
I teach college classes, and I have had hundreds of students in my classes over the last seven years. There are 18-20 year old people who lack optimism, but that doesn't make them old; it just means that they have a different outlook on life.
To those who keep insisting they look/act younger, I paraphrase: "Methinks that they doth protest too much." | |
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| Young At Heart ???
Posted: 10/15/2008 5:16:00 PM | Gee Gwendolyn, I’m sorry I insulted you with my post, it certainly wasn’t my intention to insult you or anyone else.
I was offering only another view (yes my view) as seed for thought. We certainly don’t all think the same way or come to the same conclusions. It goes back to that old saying about opinions being like a-holes, we all have one.
OP said “This phrase ("Young at Heart") is an instant negative for me when reading someone's profile. I interpret this to mean something like " I know I'm old because I'm counting the years but I can still behave like I'm young a little bit if I try" or something like that.” And another poster said “advertising they are cougars or dogs....”
I and apparently more than a few others have something in our profiles that might refer to us as being young at heart, or possessing a child-like playfulness and it is sad to learn others consider us cougars and dogs. I doubt any of us put it there because we think we are “special” or above or below anyone or as a form of protest.
In a nutshell from what I’ve learned from this thread is if we put anything in the descriptive part of our profile it is a red flag because someone is going to find a way to read something ugly into it.
Maybe POF should do away with the description part of the profile and simply have a section to fill in, our age, height, weight, hair color, what kind of auto we drive our credit rating and the value of our assets. | |
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| Young At Heart ???
Posted: 10/15/2008 5:40:07 PM |
Gee Gwendolyn, I’m sorry I insulted you with my post,
I won't lose any sleep over it!
But think about it . . . when you put a claim on your profile about being playful, young at heart, etc., you are indicating that other women your age act old--and the other women include me. If you didn't think that, why even bother to point out that you possess a "childlike playfulness"? People who write this seem to think that it sets them apart from the crowd, making them different or special.
Maybe POF should do away with the description part of the profile
POF should not do away with the descriptive part of the profile; it is extremely revealing and often, people reveal more about themselves than they intend by what they say they "are" or "are not."
In the three years or so that I have been on dating sites, I have practiced various approaches on my profiles. Right now, it doesn't say what I am; it doesn't say what I am not. I long ago gave up on describing myself; instead, I write about my thoughts at a moment in time, what I think about the universe, or I write another chapter in the ongoing saga about the Adventures of Gwendolyn . Since I have been doing this, I have seen the number of people who comment favorably on my profile rise dramatically and more men AND women put me on their favorites' lists because they like to read what I write.
Those blurbs tell more about me than a description ever could. I don't have to tell people "what" or "who" I am; I let the writing speak for itself. | |
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| Young At Heart ???
Posted: 10/15/2008 7:19:26 PM | Derrida - Everything is arranged so that it be this way, this is what is called culture.
Our language makes us human. What we do say, what we don't say, defines who we are and how we interact. Is it not troublesome that we are having this discussion? "Young at heart" is better? or not? that it is arguable is troublesome. Obviously it has significance in language and therefore to us. We worship youth. We are not a culture that venerates its aged. What a shame, to worship with those values. Illustration: Gaddflye | |
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| Young At Heart ???
Posted: 10/15/2008 7:28:03 PM | I don't think it's ageism so much as an appellation for a perceived playfulness in your nature. When was the last time any of us were "playful"?
It's tough out here right now. I could use a little playfulness. | |
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| Young At Heart ???
Posted: 10/15/2008 8:13:10 PM | "Young At Heart???"
Such an innocuous statement!
Those that are "young at heart" will find something fun and playful in the OP.
Those that are not young at heart will find something negative and over-analyze the OP.
I would not get along with people that will base a conclusion over three little words.
I doubt they would get along with me either.
That's okay.
Some judge for what is right for themselves. Others judge what is right for others.
just a thought | |
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| Young At Heart ???
Posted: 10/15/2008 10:16:06 PM | | 20 somethings snicker at anyone who is over 40 for being older, like its a sin or something. I guess thats why people try to make sure others know they dont feel old. I had a 20 something tell me I was old, like it was an insult , just because I reprimanded her for cutting in line at the ladies room. I mean, what was that supposed to mean? lol! | |
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| Young At Heart ???
Posted: 10/16/2008 12:09:11 AM | | okay, one more four letter word: lesbian, liberal, working class, pro-choice, and OLD | |
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| Young At Heart ???
Posted: 10/16/2008 5:59:54 AM |
had a 20 something tell me I was old, like it was an insult
ahhhhhhh, to be Young and All Knowing! | |
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