| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/1/2008 1:05:54 AM | | You sound very judgemental to me honey. You have a certain type and you se others 5x fatter than you doing better than you. That sounds judgemental to me. Yuo are either too picky or an idealist. And maybe you are not putting yourself out there. | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/1/2008 1:28:17 AM | Have you tried responding to the pages of emails that men send to you here? That would certainly be the place to start!
I bet your "problem" is that you are not being contacted by men who you want to contact you. You don't happen to have your heart set on only going out with a 26-year old millionaire who models underwear and does philanthropy in his spare time, do you? | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/1/2008 1:48:09 AM | i am single because when men see me they fall for my beautiful figure, next they want to sleep with me they think i am sex goddess which is very sad for me .
i dont believe in sex at sight i will like to know people first before going to bed with them.
come on boys try to get to know me first  | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/1/2008 3:56:44 AM | | You are not in the same boat. Dating is not easy. I seem to find all the wrong guys. I have been single since 2000 and the right person just has not happened. Mostly guys seem to want to date everyone and not just one person. Head games and using you. That is not for me. The number of married people on this site is unreal. I do not want to date a married man or a man that is into head games. So are there any out there? Hope some day you find your match, just keep looking. I have. | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/1/2008 8:28:04 AM | God OP... Are you writing about me ????
Story of my life.. other than the living with the parents part....
I don't understand it either...
Sometimes one just wants to give up on this dating thing....
Just my two cents worth...
GEB  | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/1/2008 10:18:18 AM | hey loz hunter,,,,couldnt have said it better myself!!!!!!!!!! im soooo fed up w/the bull****.  | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/2/2008 3:57:35 PM | | Talk about your mixed responses. I'm not really finding answers here, nothing I didn't already know. I just feel the need to defend myself on some of the things people took the wrong way considering the posts went on a few pages, and some were pretty judgmental. First and fore most other then living with my parents I pay all of my bills, and never ask them for anything other then a roof and a room. I would move out if I could, but my student loans are way too high for me to be able to. There is nothing I want more then to move out of this house, and I'm really insulted by some of the remarks made that are either laughing at me or telling me to move out like I'm living here because I enjoy it. When I referred to women 5x's my size who have boyfriends it is because the only answer I usually get told is to lose weight. I do not have anything against these women (and I am not referring to larger women who are easy) I am simply saying if they have found true love it can't be because of my weight. I know I may have for prob the first and only time in my life came off as conceited and judgmental, but I in no way feel that I am better then people. I feel that I am more deserving of a relationship then many people I know who cheat and don't really care about the person that they are with. I don't think I'm better then these people, but I think it's a shame that they have some one when I don't since I would appreciate it more. I can definitely tell you that I am not too busy to be in a relationship. I spend more time searching for one then could possibly be required if I had one. My problem is more likely that I'm just too available. I like to believe I am approachable. I smile often. I could probably stand to make eye contact more, but I'm really scared to do that. I find that the only times I actually meet some one is if I go up to some one which I don't like doing, and won't bother doing unless I am heavily intoxicated which isn't that often. I really don't know. I kinda just assume every guy won't be interested. Maybe I put it out there. I'm not that picky. I'm not really picky at all, and I don't reject guys on here because I'm lucky if I get one email a month. And if I do reject them it's usually because they are my fathers age, and I can't see myself dating some one in their 50's. | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/2/2008 4:10:16 PM |
If I met a guy who had half as much going for them as I do I would never look at another guy again.
theres your answer.... I have seen people of all shapes and sizes from all walks of life in happy relationships. The thing is, that attitude of "if he had half as much as me going" comes off as well... really really unappealing to a guy. Seems snobbish and self rightous. Now I cant say you are like that in your interactions but if you feel so high and mighty and you remind people of your greatness your not going to get very far with them.
I just graduated from college, I live with my parents since I just finished school, but am otherwise completely financially independent, I like going out and having a fun time, I have a good sense of humor, I have my own car, I have a full time job that I enjoy so hardly ever complain about, I am a very caring, reliable, dependable, and honest person, I am affectionate, and romantic, I almost always turned on (especially since I've been single this long), I am smart, I am worldly, I am classy, I am cultured, I'm outgoing, I'm a great speaker, I am very open minded, non-judgemental, extremely considerate, grateful, humble,
I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I... and then humble. Sorry babe but thats not the definition of humility. I am sure you have alot going for you, I am sure you are great, but so is everyone else sitting in front of their computer right now..... | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/2/2008 4:15:29 PM | | and I don't mean to sound like a jerk. I was told by a very good friend of mine that nearly every time I would speak I would start with the phrases "well, I" "I don't know about that" "I think". Here is a neat little exercise I used to get away from that nasty habit. In one day count how many times you respond like that, make a mental note each time you do and think of a different way to respond, based on them and not you. Try phasing it out of your vocabulary... not entirely of course, as sometimes it is necessary. Using it all the time makes on 'APPEAR' to be self centered. Doesn't mean they are, just looks that way... | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/2/2008 4:19:46 PM | | Join the armed forces! Good grief, girl, with a college education, you could become an officer, and become empowered by everyone kissing your behind, calling you "maam", and single male officers lining up the walls to get a date with you.... standing in line, guys making six figures, along with your income.... do the math. Quit wasting your time in your home town. Go to the nearest recruiting center. Pick you choice.. Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines. They are offering huge bonuses. | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/2/2008 4:22:06 PM | OP, you are very young and it may seem that things will never change. But they will, and more than a few times I am sure. All my relationships have been long term and I go through long bouts of being single.
Enjoy it and focus on yourself. Keep your standards high and don't settle. The right guy will come along. No worries.
Good Luck.
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/2/2008 4:23:27 PM | Just my two cents here,
A quick scan of your profile tells me many things: First of all the big blob of text with no formatting and too many simple spelling mistakes for somebody who is, as you list, a teacher AND a writing enthusiast. Something doesn't add up.
Secondly, you write, "I'm a huge movie, music, and TV buff." Well who isn't?
Tell us something about yourself that will separate you from the rest. What makes YOU different from the other 1029384712837 women that we men have had bad experiences with?
But I think your most telling response is this, "When I referred to women 5x's my size who have boyfriends it is because the only answer I usually get told is to lose weight."
To me this says that you are talking to the hardbody kind of guys, and if so, what do you expect?
If you are fishing and fishing with no responses, maybe you are using the wrong kind of bait. | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/2/2008 4:34:20 PM | Sometimes beautiful women...successful women...together women...
are intimidating.
I don't know your whole situation. I went through this when I was younger and it turns out after several run ins with old high school chums and reunions that indeed they were afraid to ask me out. And I sat at home thinking something was wrong with me.
At any rate my life experience has taught me differently over time. I have been thrown to the proverbial wolves if you will. But I do know that men HATE rejection and to be shot down. Especially in front of anyone. So you might have to work at getting their attention. Try holding their gaze for a few extra seconds and smiling a tiny smile. Give them reason to approach you and let them know that you won't turn them away.
If you are with a group of girls being breezy and confident...sometimes that's frightening. You might try going with one single friend. And being approachable but not over the top. Seems guys may have learned that "breezy confident" sometimes might be an act. Even if its real with you. Try being more quiet yet approachable. And then there's patience. We all get tired of waiting and hoping. But goodness you are young . Focus on your interests and you might come across someone who shares them with you.
I met my ex husband completely by accident. I was asked to fill in and sing with a group who needed an extra girl for a few weeks. He was the drumer. We became friends ...with a lot in common. It lasted for 10 years. There's nothing wrong with looking or being ready. But don't try too hard or it will appear desperate. Just enjoy being young and free for now. Someday you may miss it. | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/2/2008 4:38:37 PM | So i'm glad that i'm not the only one in this situation.
When guys make posts like this no one takes then seriously,
I have been on here for years and have had no look dont even get any messages or replies from anyone i try to chat to, I have tried variouse diffrent approaches to this thing including profiles, photos allsorts nothing works and none of the girls are interested don't want to even bother replying, trying to chat etc so only conclusion i can draw up is that im ugly and thats why this is happening to me :( not much i can do about that. But you your not ugly far from it have no idea why you are still single abut know exactly how you feel you have a good personality, looks, inteligence, finance so wish you all the look on this site has dont seem to be much of it going around xx | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/2/2008 5:09:11 PM |
If I met a guy who had half as much going for them as I do I would never look at another guy again.
Many people have pointed out that you are not humble, and there is nothing wrong with not being humble IF your self assessment is accurate. I notice that you say:
I have a type that I'm interested in, but I'm not very into looks. I'm more interested in personality.
but I have to wonder about that. You see yourself as catch, that is evident from what you say, but perhaps the standards that you set for men are a bit too high. For example, those women whom you claim are 5x your size (is that dress size or weight? if you weigh at least 100 pounds, they would have to weigh 500!), what type of men are they with? If they can attract men who are attractive to you, why?
Attitude has a lot to do with being attractive. Even old, plump women like me can attract men--take a good look at yourself and how you interact with people.
By the way, there are LOADS of nice men on POF looking for women! | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/2/2008 11:59:26 PM | maybe...
1. they're intimidated by your success
2. they think you're taken
3. they think you're too nice, that they can't be freaky in bed with you...so they pass on that
4. they think you're the clingy type
5. you're hanging around the guys' crowd who just might be interested in trashy girls (not "classy")
OR
you are just too damn picky =p | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/3/2008 1:14:46 AM | hi philly
i had to reply to your post, i dont think you are self centred, this is a dating site, you are telling potential dates about who you are, and you sound like a catch, smart, responsible, have varied interests so i dont know why people are getting vexed that you seem to be talking about I, I, I too much!
unfortunatley im in the same boat. i have lost count of every man i have met on pof, any other dating site or at a club that asks me why im still single! why do you think ??because alot of men today really are unfit to date, they just want sex and they will go for the person they think are most likely to give it to them.
i also found on this site people love to chat by email for ages with no intention of meetingup now this is a waste of everybodys time.
i would like to know from the posters who feel her profile is too 'all about her' what do you suggest she writes in her profile?
also i dont know but maybe you come across as too nice? and this could be a hindereince. im a naturally nice and i think sweet perosn, but i went on a date recently and the guy said you come across as sweet and vulnerabel and guys can take advantage of it! when all i did was politely listen to him and smile and be pleasent so maybe philly girl you have to be a a no nonsense woman to getanywhere or to get respect i dunno.
but one thing philly girl, i would like to know where these bigger women are that are getting the guys cos they sure arent in London! so let me know and im there!
good luck philly girl!
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/3/2008 2:40:32 AM | | I'm not really sure why so many people are focusing on the humble part. I do know what humble means, and I believe that it does describe me. Am I wrong to say that I have a lot more to offer then the men I've been talking to when all they want to offer is sex. I completely agree with foxy on this, how do you expect me to write on here with out starting most sentences with I. I'm referring to myself not a plural group of people. If a friend and I were going out some where I would gladly say, we went to so and so place. It would make very little sense if I wasn't using I when referring to myself. My friends are a big part of my life, but it would be pretty weird if I wrote a profile saying we do this, we like that. That sounds like I'm in a couple already. Could write every sentence with out a subject, but that would start to look pretty bad after a while. Don't think I could have an entire profile like this. Plentyoffish is not where I'm meeting these people. I gave up on this site a really long time ago for finding anyone. That profile was written in 2005 when I was 21. It's actually a copy and paste from my myspace which also hasn't been changed this then. I've considered changing it up, but since there were so little responses before it doesn't really seem worth it. | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/3/2008 2:54:41 AM | | i feel just the same way...was married for 20 years been single 3, had a couple of flings...but why am i single...perhaps we expect to much? | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/3/2008 3:05:03 AM | oh booh hoo ...........whoa is me..............let's have a pity party.......
you're just too picky..............
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/3/2008 9:55:00 AM | | What makes you think I'm too picky? All I have said that I am looking for is some one interested in more then sex. | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/3/2008 3:38:52 PM | I'm told that too but I have met many men. I understand how you feel. I have gotten to the point where I don't even care anymore. What you need to do is focus on yourself. You seem like a wonderful woman and have a lot going for you. Don't try at all. Make sure you don't settle for less than you deserve. It's going to happen for you.
Work on your weight if your not happy with it. I'm over weight also and I have been working with the exercise ball. I love it. I also want to start doing either yoga or tai chi or how ever you spell it.
If you get into different things outside your house you would probably meet people there also. A lot of people have met in gyms.
Don't give up but don't focus on it. It really does make a difference. | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/3/2008 3:58:31 PM |
Don't give up but don't focus on it. It really does make a difference.
I completely agree with this. I am in the happiest and most fulfilling relationship I have ever been in and we met when I wasn't looking at all. We also met outside of a dating service... | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/3/2008 4:18:41 PM | | i'd marry you on the spot sugar nose | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/3/2008 4:20:44 PM | | moaning about "why am I single" might be an indication LOL as in, i'm so great why hasn't someone noticed" and i think that can be a turnoff for dudes. Think of this time alone as a time to get to know and love yourself completely and then someone will bump into you and notice :) | |
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