| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/3/2008 7:53:49 PM |
i'd marry you on the spot sugar nose
hear that sugar nose? He would marry you on the spot. Apparently you got something goin for ya. Just dont give up hope. You will find the one for you someday, and when you do he will love you for you and all your fantastic qualities :D | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/3/2008 10:32:37 PM | 1. they're intimidated by your success- What success she is living at home? Bet she is driving a really nice car with a big car payment instead of being like the rest of us who bought older cars paid for our loans and learn to stretch a dollar on our own still making our rent payments.
2. they think you're taken- Think she is too spoiled therefore better be making lots of money.
3. they think you're too nice, that they can't be freaky in bed with you...so they pass on that
No never crossed my mind about that she pretty much said she is always turned on.
4. they think you're the clingy type
Bingo she is desperate spoiled and will cling like a climbing vine Run
5. you're hanging around the guys' crowd who just might be interested in trashy girls (not "classy")
Nope read answers above.
OR
you are just too damn picky =p Yep arrogant I well settle for some one half as good as me. What guy in his right mind wants to feel like that? Oh she settle for me because I was only half as good as she is.
She ask for advise then ignore it. You know when I was her age standing before a Judge for a speeding ticket I ask for time to come up with the money because of loans to pay, car payment, insurnace, rent, electric, He cut me off and said so do all of us. Get out in the world stop hiding in your parents house grow up get out on your own then you will meet someone. Stop making excuses about why you have to live at home. You have job you can afford to move out. | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/4/2008 9:23:06 AM | Firstly, you're a good looking girl sound friendly and nice from your posts. Your profile though, is full of "I am". Don't tell me what you think you are, at least not excessively. Tell me about yourself, what you enjoy, any goals or aspirations. Doesn't have to be in great detail but you should mention some of those types of things or just anything about you, and let the reader decide what they feel you are and if you're worth contacting.
Now me, I'm right outside of Philly. I've never seen your profile before but if I had I would not bother thinking twice and would not have sent you an e-mail or anything. After reading your posts here I am more curious about you and would consider getting to know more about you. Simply because I've found out enough about you from your posts on the forum to form some idea in my mind of the "You are", instead of taking your word on the "I am".
As for the folks bashing you about living with your parents. There's nothing wrong with a recent college grad living with their parents. It's probably pretty darned prudent to save a few bucks living with the parents for a while before moving out. Suck it up for a year or two and all those rent payments saved could mean a good amount down on a house, or a fresh start with no debt when you move out. Sounds responsible to me. | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/4/2008 9:14:34 PM | Being single isn't the worst fate one can face.
There are people out there wishing they had never gotten married or were in a current relationship, believe me. | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/4/2008 11:39:17 PM | why im single at this time well last year i left home it was the hardest thing i had to do when i did it i was a d.v .v, i had to sit there and think about what i was doing if he came home while i was geting every thing in the car looking up and down the street every time i put somthing in the car but you know its the best thing i ever did in my life as i can talk to people now and go do thing iv never done in my life ,with out no regrets or delema,s in my life so im happy now in my life just making new friends and meeting new people if you ever go through it youd under stand how hard it is for someone like me to make that move in life hope if you do please get out you dont need it so look fourd to better things in your life and one day your dreams may come true take care shaz  | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/5/2008 9:16:27 AM | I think you are a good person, good looking. You should be receiving some emails.
If your problem is because you never get the message from the man you dream to date, then you are probably too picky. Because i think you get message from all sort of men, some of them should be good candidates.
if your problem is not receiving message from the men here. Then redo you profile. You should get tons of mesg base on your look and age. | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/6/2008 8:40:52 AM | | to me maybe i wrong but you come off as arrogant maybe i am wrong.there is a very fine line between arrogance and confadence.then when you ask the question about why your still single people try to help you and you say i allready no that no you dont because if you did you wouldnt be single still.if you dont change your ways you will still be on pof at 50 single and with no kids and not married what do i nkow you allready nkow this write. | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/6/2008 10:38:27 AM | | I say try something different. The thing I liked about college was that it was a big group of similar aged people, in a simlar place in life and a lot of them were looking to be social and see who they can meet. Each semester was an opportunity to meet some new people and most bars/clubs/activites around campus attracted the same people so it was a bit easier to be like 'I saw you at that 'insert event' last week. . ' and start a conversation. Once I left school and got a job the number of potential new people dropped signifigantly. A few weeks into a job there may be a few people available for relationships but until someone new gets hired (and if that person is a guy and single) new chances for interaction that can lead to more or limited. You're on this site, maybe try another each site has it's own feel and attract it's own people. Try Craigslist, I wouldn't have expected it but there are a lot of cute guys on that site, and that site is also free. Or eharmony/match.com, it's expensive but a lot of the people on that site are looking to meet people. Finally when you go to clubs and bars see if you can keep the group small, a lot of guys aren't brave enough to charge into a giant group of girls. Or if you're brave see if you can strike up a conversation with a guy. The thing is that if you ten to go from home to work to home to bar with same people you're not exposing yourself to new people, and if you want to try to find someone you have to put yourself out there. Join as many voluenteer groups as you can (that you think you'd enjoy) Then you'd have fun and meet people. Even if you meet other women you never know if they have single guy friends, are hang out at different places where you could meet someone new. | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/8/2008 3:59:02 AM | if anyone would understand why some time we are all single here it is for many difrent resons and some just grow apart some dont get on and some are for other difrent resons but what ever the resons its all going to get better fot one or two resons and there is somthiong to lok to the futer is that you nevr no what is around the corner do you just belive in you and that there is a better futer for you good luck fishing to you all ,shaz | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/8/2008 5:23:14 AM | I think some of us are ment to be alone.
But there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with you, I'd date you if I lived in America and was still interested in women. | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/8/2008 5:38:12 AM | Sometimes it all has to do with T-iming A-nd O-pportunity. I call it the TAO in cadence with chemistry defying basic human nature of "we want what we cant have and we have it we dont want it" The dynamics involved go beyond having a great personality and all the responsible lifestyle trimings. Being attractive doesnt hurt, yet far from the cement that fosters love.
Look by not looking
Michael | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/8/2008 7:30:04 AM | Its NOT just you, Im a single guy in the south of england and i've been single for around about a year now but most of my relationships have ended badly. Im a happy go lucky guy, not the fittest lad in town but probably the nicest guy most people will meet.
Ive had people tell me im looking too hard aswell, so i stopped looking and then just felt lonely instead.
Its a dog eat dog world but all the best people will be left till last when all the players have run outta steam
Take care xxx | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/8/2008 4:57:16 PM | You know what. Most of us on here are single, or have not had much success in relationships. That is why we are here. So its not likely that we can provide insights into your lack of success. I might suggest, however, that relationships are not about someone interested in us, they about us being interested in someone. Sooner or later we find someone where the interest is mutual. We all deserve someone great but few of us are willing to give someone great much. When you reverse that it is easy to see why we're alone. Give--and I don't mean put out--and you will get what you give. If your not loving toward someone else, no reason to expect that they will be towards you. And again, I'm not talking physical here.
So go find someone to be interested in, instead of looking for someone to be interested in you. | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/8/2008 7:41:04 PM | Does one ever think that the people ( that would be us) you see on dating sites are the left overs because They (or we) are the ones that do not do well in relationships ?
The ones that make bad decisions in choosing a mate ? The ones that just do not do well when involved with another, be it marriage, LTR or whatever ?
Now sure...some will say it was my wife or husbands fault but you chose them. Could it be that we are here simply because we are just plain ol f*cked up when it comes to relationships in general and we are all in denial ?
The ones that are still married or together are truly the successful ones because for whatever reasons they do well in relations....... or are they just simply lucky ?
If we are all top notch mate material with regards to relations............... would we not still be involved ?
Just food for thought....
Peace | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/9/2008 8:34:17 AM | OP, are you sure that you know what the word humble means?
hum·ble
–adjective
1. not proud or arrogant; modest: to be humble although successful.
2. having a feeling of insignificance, inferiority, subservience, etc.: In the presence of so many world-famous writers I felt very humble.
3. low in rank, importance, status, quality, etc.; lowly: of humble origin; a humble home.
"If I met a guy who had half as much going for them as I do "
This part of your original message contradicts the label of humble, and is probably what a lot of people picked up on, not to mention the I this, I that, I am, I whatever. The problem is you used "I am" and "I" far too often. You should use it maybe once or twice per sentence, although your sentences run quite long.
But that's irrelevant, because it's only what you think.
You probably used the wrong terms by saying financially independent, as that is viewed as you fully being able to support yourself. If you're not able to pay back your student loans and pay all the bills that come with living on your own, to many you wouldn't be financially independent. I'd have no problems that you'd be living with your parents.
You're on here asking "Why am I single", and to try to show that you have so much going for you that you go far beyond what you need to say. You're insecure with your "dating value", that you have to overcompensate. You described a lot of your traits, but you didn't really explain what you do to try to flirt with guys, or approach them. Or do you go up to someone and start your "I am" spiel?
Re-read msg 22. He knows what he's talking about  | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/9/2008 8:57:53 AM |
Why am I single?
Because nearly all the men you actually want to date don't find you physically attractive.
I'm sorry if that's a bit direct and a bit brutal but it's the simple answer. Restating the obvious of how the world works since the beginning of mankind, men are typically driven to become romantically interested in a woman based on her physical appeal first and foremost. No one is going to take the time to "get to know you on the inside" if the outside doesn't draw them in enough to make that interaction happen.
Everyone has a "ceiling" when it comes to their looks. All we can do as individuals is to try to hit that ceiling and be a good person and hope for the best. If you lost some weight, as you are clearly overweight, you probably stand a much better chance of moving towards your ceiling of looks.
Take off all your clothes one night and look in the mirror. Are you happy with what you see? If you are then good for you. If you are not then why should any man be happy with what he sees too? Too many people preach raw acceptance no matter what. That's just not practical. Positive self esteem is a cycle just like negative self esteem is a cycle. You work hard to feel good about yourself, you get some positive reinforcement hopefully and it encourages you to keep working hard and feeling even better about yourself.
Why you are single is probably a very simple answer. How you get out of that situation is not so simple.
Good luck to you. | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/9/2008 9:46:19 AM | I agree you are a pretty girl, so the most likely reason you're having trouble is that you don't carry the qualities that the persons you are interested in are looking for. You can't just think of yourself in terms of what a woman would see when assessing yourself, but as what the type of man you're looking for would see when he considers you. Does he have better options? If so, he's going to explore them. It is much easier to consider what men are looking for, and become that than to choose what should be important to men and wonder why the ones you want never want you back.
My suggestion is not to toss who you are by the wayside in the hopes of finding someone. If you have a great personality, keep that. If you're dependable, affectionate and romantic. Keep all of that. Those traits aren't the ones holding you back. My suggestion is to honestly accept that the men you're interested in have better options to consider (otherwise they would be considering you) and brutally look at yourself to see where you can improve to become a better option. It is always better to put yourself in the position of being able to say no, than always hoping someone else says yes. I hope the best for you. | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/9/2008 10:02:09 AM | Most Men are shallow, they need visual stimulation and they think you are fat. Dont believe it?? watch the movie Shallow Hal. You have some choices....
1 Loose weight.
2 Get yourself a nice girlfriend
3 Get on a BBW dating site, where men are looking for larger women.
Other than that you are a meatfest, and if you do go out with some one from here, and you sleep with them good luck with them ever calling you again. They just move on... | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/9/2008 10:02:24 AM | Ohhh good lord I was so happy to stay out of a thread like this but now I have to say something.. Damn those trigger issues.
Because nearly all the men you actually want to date don't find you physically attractive.
Really did you interview them all? How do you know they don't find her physically attractive?, because you don't? Perhaps they do find her physically attractive and are intimidated, perhaps they find her attractive but less so then someone else, perhaps they find her physically attractive but think her voice sounds line an air raid siren? Don't attribute your views to all, because you really have no way to know.
I'm sorry if that's a bit direct and a bit brutal but it's the simple answer. Restating the obvious of how the world works since the beginning of mankind, men are typically driven to become romantically interested in a woman based on her physical appeal first and foremost
Here's a news flash its direct and its brutal but its far from the simple answer, its a simplistic exposition. Gee the world works on the concept of this or that. Well it actually doesn't. First off since the beginning of mankind men are typically driven to be SEXUALLY interested not romantically with anything that appeals to them physically in that it has the right proportions and symetry to appear in good health. And since we are talking the begining of man kind they didn't even care about the gender. Romantic links were completely seperate from sexual in most cases of history. So if your going to look for excuses to behaviour in history at least study them.
Everyone has a "ceiling" when it comes to their looks. All we can do as individuals is to try to hit that ceiling and be a good person and hope for the best. If you lost some weight, as you are clearly overweight, you probably stand a much better chance of moving towards your ceiling of looks.
I think you read too many new age self help books. Everyone has a "ceiling"? do they. I just don't even know really how to begin to address this save I guess say. Why yes not everyone is graced with the genetics of the modern supermodel which is why so many of them resort to being unhealthy themselves and in surgery. Not to mention what the definition of good looks is changes per society and over time.
Take off all your clothes one night and look in the mirror. Are you happy with what you see? If you are then good for you. If you are not then why should any man be happy with what he sees too? Too many people preach raw acceptance no matter what. That's just not practical. Positive self esteem is a cycle just like negative self esteem is a cycle. You work hard to feel good about yourself, you get some positive reinforcement hopefully and it encourages you to keep working hard and feeling even better about yourself.
Welcome to how to create psychosis in females 101. Take unrealistic body images and tell people fit them or be miserable until you fit them. I have a healthier and better idea for you to go to sleep with. as yourself as you go to sleep each night, if you didn't wake up tomorrow would anyone remember you? Would you have lived well? Did you make a difference?
Why you are single is probably a very simple answer. How you get out of that situation is not so simple.
In this particular issue I do completely agree. Whatever the cause of the op being single is likely a simple answer. But that said few things worth attaining are simple.. | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/9/2008 10:25:18 AM | Lets see you graduated from a major university - - - will known etc.
and are working at a daycare for kids - - - - - hum - - -
that says something right there - - - | |
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Mizzi
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Joined: 5/2/2008
Msg: 96 | |
| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/9/2008 10:39:29 AM | Hey you are gorgeous......
You just keep going out and having fun and I promise the right guy will come along in no time at all....
You seem lke a great catch. He is waiting just round the corner for you ok... x | |
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che37
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Joined: 4/12/2008
Msg: 97 | |
| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/9/2008 11:24:02 AM | | probably single due to being on this site, if you're the kind of person who wants to muck about and play games stay here forever, from the attitude of female chatters in my area i feel like kissing this site goodbye | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/9/2008 11:45:20 AM |
You are not in the same boat. Dating is not easy. I seem to find all the wrong guys.
jenny, wouldn't it be a great approach to date some guys you left out? 
aahhh... j/k
OP, just wondering... the 75miles limit was your intention, right? What I noticed was that this feature didn't work properly... | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/9/2008 12:05:48 PM | | The moment you stop obsessing on why you're not acquiring a date...when you're not looking, not interested, carefree...that's when some guy will come along to ruin your peaceful existence. | |
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| Why am I single?
Posted: 5/9/2008 12:21:01 PM | I had this question about myself just yesterday whilst I was shopping in town and saw couples happily holding hands in the sunshine looking round the shops! Im 33 single, no kids. Im attractive, fun lovin very lovin with a good sense of humour and while I also know I have negatives Im a decent person and not an airhead.
Idont thnk ther is a particualar reason why Im single. I just havent met anyone I like. Its not that Im not liked all the time sometimes its down to my high standards too! | |
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