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 Author Thread: How many women are young, never had kids, and DON'T want them?
 rawrrrr

Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 26
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How many women are young, never had kids, and DON'T want them?
Posted: 5/1/2008 7:29:02 AM

1) It costs $2M to raise the average kid
2) Your life expectancy reduces by 8 years if you have kids
3) They're messy, you have to wipe their ass, stay up all night when they cry, etc.
4) They go through turbulent teenage years and you have to stress over that
5) And at the end of it all, they may turn out to be total failures or at best, a mediocre individual. Very few kids actually grow up to be successful - the vast majority are either equivalent to their parents' careers or worse
6) Every kid you have adds to the world population which means more competition for finite resources. Do you really want to bring in a child to a world where he/she has to struggle to compete, even more so than you did?


1. And? Like someone else said- since when did we start measuring our love for others based on dollar signs?

2. Smoking, drinking, pollution, chemicals, hell even breathing anymore all reduce one's lifespan. Most of us should be dead by now if we go by such statistics.

3. You're NEVER messy? Ever? Someone had to wipe your ass and chances are someone will have to wipe your ass again when you're old. At least I've already got two people lined up to do that job for me. You'll get some nurse named Helga doing it for you.

4. Lots of things are stressful so your point is?

5. OMG! You're so right! They *might* turn out to be total losers but they also *might* be the ones who end up making the world a better place to live in.

6. There has always been competition. Survival of the fittest my friend. Every generation freaks out about the next generation and if the world is going to end and all sorts of crap. So far it hasn't happened.

Hey, it's totally your choice to want to date someone who doesn't want kids. No one is going to begrudge you that. But your reasoning sucks at best. It's naive in fact.

Welders Girl- I totally agree and know where you are coming from. While my twins weren't born quite as early and didn't spend quite as much time in the NICU I was still there, and know how you feel. I was the same way but it was all worth it in the end.
 kthyg

Joined: 11/24/2006
Msg: 27
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How many women are young, never had kids, and DON'T want them?
Posted: 5/1/2008 8:05:45 AM
I don't have kids and I don't want kids. That doesn't mean I don't like kids but I understand my own limitations. I'm a fairly selfish person and a child is a life long commitment. I don't really have a motherly instinct and I've never desired to have children. I run into men who are uneasy dating me because of this. They want kids. I'm probably not going to change my mind at this stage of the game. So, we wouldn't be a match. Rest assured, not every woman has kids or wants them, but it is a natural thing for the majority of women.
 ChildfreeGlow

Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 28
How many women are young, never had kids, and DON'T want them?
Posted: 5/1/2008 8:18:49 AM
I don't have kids and don't want them and am definitely educated and attractive, though not so young anymore at 35. I've always known I never wanted kids, which is probably why I'm still single, since it cuts down on the number of men I will even bother dating at all. I simply won't date men who have or want kids.

There are many bad reasons why people have kids, as other posters have already pointed out (lack of anything better to do, societal expectations, fear of growing old alone, enjoying a bustling home environment and the entertainment kids provide, wanting someone to love them unconditionally, etc.) and there are also bad reasons not to have kids (fear of a variety of things that might happen or sacrifices that might need to be made). There are also good reasons not to have them and good reasons to have them, so it really comes down to which reasons are more important to that individual person, and I don't think there is a right/wrong on that score, as much as people seem to believe only their choice is the noble one.

To me the only really good reason why more and more people really need to start deciding NOT to have kids, or at least to have fewer of them, is that world population has already reached a point where the planet's ability to support human life at all is in jeopardy. Global warming, water shortages, and even food shortages are a real crisis and will only increase in significance. Once you are paying $10 for a gallon of gas and your real wage has continued to go down (which I promise is a day you will see if you're under 60 now), then you tell me how much you wish to fill the world with more humans. In the West we know we will always be able to secure food because we can afford to pay top dollar for that, even if we are depriving ourselves in other areas of our lives to do it, but in the developing world people are going to be starving to death and their will be wars because of this. So you have your 3 kids, and just realize your doing that is causing enormous suffering and death someplace else in the world, someplace where the kids aren't as lucky as yours to be born into a rich country. Your kids will add to global warming even more than a child born in Bangladesh would, but it is the child in Bangladesh who will slowly starve to death.

Please people, have just one or at most two kids and adopt any others you want, if parenthood is something you yearn for. That is truly the most selfless combination.
 herotab

Joined: 8/2/2007
Msg: 29
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How many women are young, never had kids, and DON'T want them?
Posted: 5/1/2008 8:20:45 AM


If every woman thought that the human race would cease.

worse things have happened. worse things all commited by the human Race.



I dont have kids yet, i want kids and i know a equal amounts of people who do want and do not want them.


One thing that gets me every time is, all these people, lets just call them 'female' for now.... HOW can you even say you want kids, when you are single, alone?
its wrong....
then u say its about love and bla bla happiness....

but you must take it one step at a time or it becomes something cheap like what the original post speculates over.
if you are alone now and KNOW you want kids there is somethign desperately wrong with you, like an empty space and u think a kid will fill that space but it wont it only fills a different space and the other empty space grows deeper.

IF on the other hand you are in a loving relationship already, THEN its time to consider children.

this is reality. and i am not wrong. you are who want kids and are single are all immature, think about it. u think its liek a cabbage patch doll....

thats like me shopping for a car stereo first, then getting a car to match, if i can afford one after i get the most expensive sterreo.



Its a preference which is a basic right, in Western society anyway.


if only wester society could learn from others instead of thinking we are perfect and need to assimilate everyone to be as cool as we are not.

thats all i will say for i am always misunderstood and hated on anyways. just because i am smarter, better looking and more modest and sincere than any joker you could ever hope to drag home. and none of it is even my fault.

this has been another insallment of sheer genius, hope you all may benefit some how, you are welcome and enjoy the rest of your day here at pof.
 missme25

Joined: 4/25/2008
Msg: 30
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How many women are young, never had kids, and DON'T want them?
Posted: 5/1/2008 8:27:17 AM
I dont want kids!!! I agree, they are too expensive... and stressful.
 hapyhippy

Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 31
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How many women are young, never had kids, and DON'T want them?
Posted: 5/1/2008 8:37:23 AM
i didnt botha 2 read all that u sed . . . BUT
Yes im 40 (2day Actually) (HAPPY BIRTHDAY 2 ME At 25 i wasnt with a bloke i wanted 2 have kids with. At 30 I wasnt with a bloke i wanted 2 have kids with and then at 35 the same and now 40 still the same but f*** im 40.
Im 2 old and selfish 2 put any kid of mine, (i wanted 10 or more when i was a young'n) thru the fact that I DO now NOT want kids . . . I have a dog and if i dont feel like walkin her she misses out . . . Ya cant do that a 2 REAL kid.
My sister ses im selfish for not havin kids. But i rekon id be selfish for havin kids when i dont want em. And some of us just know WE dont want em.
I decided i didnt want kids and for any kid i may saved from bein MY child i think theyd thank me.
 rawrrrr

Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 32
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How many women are young, never had kids, and DON'T want them?
Posted: 5/1/2008 8:42:40 AM

realize your doing that is causing enormous suffering and death someplace else in the world


Survival of the fittest. Maybe THEY should stop having kids.
 ItsMargo

Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 33
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How many women are young, never had kids, and DON'T want them?
Posted: 5/1/2008 8:53:23 AM
I didn't want kids and didn't think I was cut out to be a good parent... right up to the time where I found myself pregnant in my 30's.
Spent the whole nine months' agonizing about whether I was up to the job and the awesome responsibility of launching another human being into the world.

Best thing that ever happened to me, my daughter has enriched my life beyond measure. Thank heavens I didn't go with what is logical in this decision.
 IndigoLucid

Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 34
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How many women are young, never had kids, and DON'T want them?
Posted: 5/1/2008 8:58:37 AM
I am a 26 year old women who loves kids, but I don't want to have any.
If it happens, I won't be upset, or I might someday adopt, but otherwise, I am not planning on trying to have children. (I might someday change my mind, who knows?)
Just look at how crazy this world is, it has changed so quickly and drastically since I was a kid and it isn't slowing down. Who am I to bring someone else here on purpose? I love kids. I don't mind caring for them, I am not afraid of pregnancy or any of that, but at this point I have a choice. The choice is whether I want to make more kids, or if I want to help kids that don't have a choice and have already been born into this world. I would rather adopt someone who has no one to care for them, and give them a good life where they might not have had it good...
I am not in a hurry to do this though, I want to learn things and discover new places and build my experiences into memories before designating myself to such a large responsibility that is a 24/7 life-long commitment.
For those of you who do want kids, congratulations. For those who don't want kids, or kids yet, I wish you the best. Try to stay openminded and realize what is right for you may not be right for everybody.
 plebayo

Joined: 7/28/2007
Msg: 35
How many women are young, never had kids, and DON'T want them?
Posted: 5/1/2008 1:12:06 PM
And locking animals up in kennels/stalls is quite cruel also. I say you need to stay away from those also.


How is it cruel? My horse lives in a BARN and in the barn she stays in a STALL. My dogs don't stay in kennels all day, but when I'm not home they stay in their kennels. When they do something bad, they stay in their kennels. When people are over, one of them stays in her kennel because she's anti social. It's not cruel. My horse likes her stall because that is where she gets fed. My dog likes her kennel because she feels safe in it. Locking up animals isn't cruel. It's cruel to have an animal that cannot be contained.


Ummm....actually they are. That is why a Greater Being made our bodies this way.


Obviously, I was being sarcastic.

I am perfectly happy admitting I am selfish. My parents were amazing and had to go through a lot with me because of the massive amounts of health issues I had as a child. I don't want to go through that. That's another thing, i think some people just shouldn't reproduce. I have asthma, I had to have open heart surgery, I don't have high blood pressure but it runs in my family hardcore, I don't feel like I should risk popping out a kid who could have to go through the same things I went through as a child.

I realize kids aren't home 24/7 and you can send them away, but it still takes away a lot of freedoms. My friends have to turn down things all the time because they have kids. I don't want that kind of responsibility. I want to be the cool aunt who spoils their nieces and nephews rotten and then... sends them home!
 hockey_fan

Joined: 11/15/2007
Msg: 36
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How many women are young, never had kids, and DON'T want them?
Posted: 5/1/2008 3:46:32 PM
I'm 25, and I don't think I want kids. I am very career oriented and I don't think I could give up my career for a year or two or however long I would need to in order to give birth and begin raising the child.
 GreenOlivesYum

Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 37
How many women are young, never had kids, and DON'T want them?
Posted: 5/1/2008 3:47:50 PM
I dont want kids, never did...never understood why its supposed to be ingrained in my head to want to breed. Honestly, I dont find them to be cute or amazing, mostly..Im just annoyed when I have to deal with other people's kids. Try having a nice dinner and being forced to endure someone's screaming child, while the parents ignore it. Yes, kids are expensive, pregnancy wrecks havoc on the body, I wont be able to travel or go out any time of the day or night anymore. Plus, the added burden of having a husband who might decide to leave or simply the stress of a marriage. With all this being said, men should be the ones begging for marriage and for babies, not women. Women get stuck with MOST of the child rearing, housework and also end up working full time while jugging all this stuff. No thanks.

I really think many women simply want kids because they think its "normal" and they are afraid of missing an opportunity that they feels defines them as human beings. Many women, even in this day and age...are still being thought of as a uterus that must be occupied at some point in time. I, for one, will not contribute to this mentality or to the overpopulation world hungry and energy crisis. I think society is way too messed up for me to spew forth another life. I'll let the rest of society struggle with that.
 Sketchness

Joined: 4/6/2008
Msg: 38
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How many women are young, never had kids, and DON'T want them?
Posted: 5/1/2008 4:03:00 PM
Sort of proves my assumption that women and men in their thirties that don't have kids are damaged. You can all say whatever you want in rebuttal, doesn't really matter to me. You have simply missed one of the most vital experiences of the human condition. The unconditional love and adoration a child brings to ones life. Is it difficult, hell yes. But it is the most rewarding , exasperating, fullfilling job you will ever love. I personally think it is natural selection, more so than any choice you make. My oldest brother and his wife never had kids but wanted them. They are terrible people and mother nature new better.

Let the games begin
 valla maldoran

Joined: 4/2/2008
Msg: 39
How many women are young, never had kids, and DON'T want them?
Posted: 5/1/2008 5:07:02 PM
Greenolivesyum you and i see eye to eye on this topic. I have never understood people whose sole purpose in life was to have kids. I like some kids in moderation. I like some of my nieces and i find i like them better the older they grow. I like babies in moderation, but want nothing to do with toddlers or children until they reach about 12.

I know how annoying it is to be in a restaurant where someones perfect little angel is taking a temper tantrum at the next table. kicking ,screaming, throwing food and just generally acting like a wild animals. Of course we all have to politely look the other way while the parent sits there and does nothing.


As for people who believe that if they have kids then they will never be alone or they will have someone to look after them in their old age, well that's a sad joke. I usto work in a nursing home and all of these people had kids who rarely if ever came to see their parents. This abandoning ones parents into nursing homes is not an rare occurrence at all. It's actually the norm. Thanks but i will happily continue on being selfish and be able to buy clothes and anything i want for myself, go on trips at a moments notice, without having to sacrifice everything to some ungrateful child.


It's pretty sad when someone can't feel like a complete and happy person unless they have children.
 Sketchness

Joined: 4/6/2008
Msg: 40
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How many women are young, never had kids, and DON'T want them?
Posted: 5/1/2008 6:15:38 PM
>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I know how annoying it is to be in a restaurant where someones perfect little angel is taking a temper tantrum at the next table. kicking ,screaming, throwing food and just generally acting like a wild animals. Of course we all have to politely look the other way while the parent sits there and does nothing<<<<<<<

I know that I am among the minority of parents but if one of my kids is acting up check please and to go. We will be having a family discussion outside. I lay my credit card on the table and we are out of there. I have only had to do this twice. Additionally I would never take my kids to a restaurant where a glass of wine is more than $10 during the evening. Maybe lunch. I have had hundreds of compliments on how well my kids are behaved.
 MetalVixxn

Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 41
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How many women are young, never had kids, and DON'T want them?
Posted: 5/1/2008 6:53:08 PM
First off, I am attractive, fairly young and educated and do not want kids.

OP, I found your post to be absolutely insulting and totally ignorant.
I'm not even going to dignify your post with any further comments.

And to Sketchness... you believe that choosing to have kids is natural selection?
Maybe back in the day when people actually planned for marriage and children, but now? Any jacka$$ can have a kid. Unfortunately, I see more of those jacka$$es having kids then ones that would truly be responsible parents! And that's actually a HUGE part of the reason I don't want kids - because of other people and how they raise their children! Unless I send them to boarding school or something they're gonna be exposed to all these terribly behaved spoiled brats. I work at a large venue that caters to thousands of children everyday and I see how they behave and it sickens me. Sure, I'm selfish and like my free time but I just can't bare the thought of bringing a child into this world in the state it's in.

Now that I went off on a tangent...
 Snake-charmer

Joined: 2/13/2008
Msg: 42
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How many women are young, never had kids, and DON'T want them?
Posted: 5/1/2008 7:07:11 PM
I find it hilarious that people actually still use the word 'selfish' to describe those who do not want to have children in the year 2008! Good god.

News flash: the great frontier has already been conquered. In fact, in case ya'll haven't noticed there are way too many people and not enough resources. Ever heard that a species that lacks natural predators will eventually destroy its habitat? Pretty much already happening/happened.

Anyhoo, I have never had any interest in having kids. Since there are more and more like me, clearly the impulse isn't all nature- maybe more nurture. When I started the online dating thing I was really surprised at how difficult it was to find men who didn't want them! So it's not just women.

When these men email me and I tell them there is no point in chatting with me if they want kids, they backtrack and say actually they are undecided. I never know if they're just saying that in a vain attempt to get laid, or if they just say in their profiles that they want kids because they assume all women do.
 Sketchness

Joined: 4/6/2008
Msg: 43
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How many women are young, never had kids, and DON'T want them?
Posted: 5/1/2008 7:37:00 PM
>>>And to Sketchness... you believe that choosing to have kids is natural selection?
Maybe back in the day when people actually planned for marriage and children, but now? Any jacka$$ can have a kid. Unfortunately, I see more of those jacka$$es having kids then ones that would truly be responsible parents! And that's actually a HUGE part of the reason I don't want kids - because of other people and how they raise their children! Unless I send them to boarding school or something they're gonna be exposed to all these terribly behaved spoiled brats. I work at a large venue that caters to thousands of children everyday and I see how they behave and it sickens me. Sure, I'm selfish and like my free time but I just can't bare the thought of bringing a child into this world in the state it's in.<<<<<<<<

Yup all pretty much true. Though in a round about sort of way you prove to a degree what I am talking about.

You want to know what is funny though. When I go to the river in my backyard. The 16 - 20 crowd is totally respectful, the people out there with there kids are totally respectful by and large, and then you have the 21- 4? year olds without their kids or without kids who are loud obnoxious, and crass. The only cool part is that about 10 times a summer I get to see one of these dumb f*cks fall on their face because they are so drunk. Next time I will take a picture. Who knows it may be someone who writes things just like you.

After my little tangent I sincerely wish you nothing but peace and happiness. Not everyone who has kids is a jacka$$ nor do they allow them to act in such a manner. Besides who is going to fund your social programs when you are 70? Pave your road, yadda yadda yadda. You better hope my children and not your taxes.
 Beth23,

Joined: 2/2/2008
Msg: 44
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How many women are young, never had kids, and DON'T want them?
Posted: 5/1/2008 7:38:21 PM
I do not want children, especially at my age. I'm tired, give me a break! I don't think that I would be a good mother either. I do not have the patience for children.I don't like alot of children. I don't hate them, I just don't have the maternal instinct or patience .

I want to travel and enjoy my life.
 welderwantedthis

Joined: 3/9/2007
Msg: 45
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How many women are young, never had kids, and DON'T want them?
Posted: 5/2/2008 2:50:30 AM

How is it cruel? My horse lives in a BARN and in the barn she stays in a STALL. My dogs don't stay in kennels all day, but when I'm not home they stay in their kennels. When they do something bad, they stay in their kennels. When people are over, one of them stays in her kennel because she's anti social. It's not cruel. My horse likes her stall because that is where she gets fed. My dog likes her kennel because she feels safe in it. Locking up animals isn't cruel. It's cruel to have an animal that cannot be contained.


Well, I was going along with the tone of your post. You were saying that you could just throw your animal in a kennel or a stall, but you couldn't do that with a kid. I was thinking you did it more along the lines of 'oh, I just don't feel like fooling with them today'. Which...IS cruel. I know PLENTY of individuals who just throw their animals in a kennel or stall b/c they don't feel like messing with them. I'm not saying that YOU do it, I'm saying that I know it happens. And yes...I do agree that it is also cruel when people let their animals run around leaving them open for getting hit by cars, etc (I have a thread going about that).

~Welder's Girl~
 ngat73

Joined: 6/10/2007
Msg: 46
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How many women are young, never had kids, and DON'T want them?
Posted: 5/2/2008 8:39:24 AM
One thing that gets me every time is, all these people, lets just call them 'female' for now.... HOW can you even say you want kids, when you are single, alone?
its wrong....
then u say its about love and bla bla happiness....

but you must take it one step at a time or it becomes something cheap like what the original post speculates over.
if you are alone now and KNOW you want kids there is somethign desperately wrong with you, like an empty space and u think a kid will fill that space but it wont it only fills a different space and the other empty space grows deeper.

IF on the other hand you are in a loving relationship already, THEN its time to consider children.

this is reality. and i am not wrong. you are who want kids and are single are all immature, think about it. u think its liek a cabbage patch doll....

thats like me shopping for a car stereo first, then getting a car to match, if i can afford one after i get the most expensive sterreo.


What? Okay. I am saying...I am single and want kids. Now what is wrong with me? I mean "desperately wrong" wtih me?

It's not an empty space I need to fulfill. It's more like getting outside of my selfish life, and doing something a little meaningful. Bringing good people into this world that makes a difference. Meaning, someone that has my wonderful qualities, and maybe someone that wold enjoy life, and learn from my mistakes. Yes, many parents live through their children, which is wrong, but hopefully I will give him/her the great life I had, and maybe more. I was in an eight year relationship and want a family. Instead of rushing into a relationship, and losing my window of opportunity for children, I prefer to start a family. That to me is more important than having a man. I have plenty of time to meet a perfect man, the perfect one for me. That takes time, being single for only two years. I haven't dated exclusively for one year. And, took the first year rebounding and partying, like someone that just got out of jail. But now, a little more settled since I have avoided any emotional attachment for a year am ready to take the next step and looking for donors or whatever.

Just because I don't have an ideal man, does not mean I can't have everything I want in this short life that I have to live.

BTW-I don't need a baby to be my Cabbage Patch doll. I have my little Yorkie for that.


and everyone!
 krissypooskis

Joined: 4/27/2008
Msg: 47
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How many women are young, never had kids, and DON'T want them?
Posted: 5/2/2008 8:52:17 AM
I'm 32, still single w/ no kids - never married. I haven't wanted kids up till now because my relationships don't last, my mom left when I was 11, my brother has 2 that he has shut out completely, one he pays custody for other was adopted by another man. I was afraid I would have the same issues, leave when the goin' gets rough or the issue of the man sticking around to take care of our child. I know I can't do it on my own, and if I don't feel like the relationship will last long enough to discuss having kids why would it be a good idea to have one? I had a man that I was in love with recently leave me and I was so emotional that I thought I might be preg. even though I'm on the pill and still having periods. So I took a test and it was negative - I was actually wanting it to be positive (so unlike me but true) starting to wonder if it just means the right man to get you to want a child. I'm still perplexed - don't know, maybe I never will. I figure if I'm meant to have a baby, it will happen pill be damned lol.
 ngat73

Joined: 6/10/2007
Msg: 48
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How many women are young, never had kids, and DON'T want them?
Posted: 5/2/2008 9:15:35 AM

I'm 32, still single w/ no kids - never married. I haven't wanted kids up till now because my relationships don't last, my mom left when I was 11, my brother has 2 that he has shut out completely, one he pays custody for other was adopted by another man. I was afraid I would have the same issues, leave when the goin' gets rough or the issue of the man sticking around to take care of our child. I know I can't do it on my own, and if I don't feel like the relationship will last long enough to discuss having kids why would it be a good idea to have one? I had a man that I was in love with recently leave me and I was so emotional that I thought I might be preg. even though I'm on the pill and still having periods. So I took a test and it was negative - I was actually wanting it to be positive (so unlike me but true) starting to wonder if it just means the right man to get you to want a child. I'm still perplexed - don't know, maybe I never will. I figure if I'm meant to have a baby, it will happen pill be damned lol.


You don't need a man to have a kid. SHoot...DUring my first year of my rebound I had a scare...but my lover was really young and I didn't want him to be resentful of me or think I did this to keep him. I told him he didn't have to be involved and that I can draw up paperwork for him to relinquish his rights. Given he just met his Dad about 7 years ago, he is now 24, he said "hell no!" and that he would have the right to raise his child. I said whatever and dragged on getting tested and my neighbor had to drag me to CVS while he waiting in the waiting area for me to test myself in the bathroom. Good riddens, wasn't pregnant. However, thinking back...it was only a little over a year ago, maybe a year-and-a-half that maybe I should have gave it a chance. THe boy had good genes. :) IF I was really serious, I would love to buy his sperm. And, I'd try to conceive the traditional way with no qualms about it either.

The problem with doing it this way is that it has to be full disclosure. I don't mind the Father being involved, but if that was the case and if we were to not get along and I would be stuck with him, than I'd rather risk a relationship. I'd like to have children as a single MOther with no involvement with the donor, therefore whoever I meet would not have to deal with the "other man" in my life.

This way I get what I want done and still live my life.


Kissypoosies: Looks like you have an abandonment issue. That is something you have to deal with before you get involved with another person. It must be hard to have to assume someone would just leave you for no apparent reasons. Sometimes our fears creates our destiny, a self-fulfilling prophecy which dooms alot of people that have that fear of abandonment. One of the reasons why my ex of eight years is not together. Hears fear drove me away. I had to deal with his issues. Now, I don't inherit other peoples issues, or take on anything else that is "their" issue...I'd rather avoid it all together.
 valla maldoran

Joined: 4/2/2008
Msg: 49
How many women are young, never had kids, and DON'T want them?
Posted: 5/2/2008 9:28:26 AM

You don't need a man to have a kid.



Now that is the kind of thinking that really burns me! A child "NEEDS" a father. Fathers are important. When a child does not have a father it is a tragic thing. Ask any child who grew up without a father if they are glad they didn't have a dad. There is this mentality flowing around now that fathers are unnecessary. Fathers are as unnecessary as mothers are. You need both.


Yes i know that there are going to be some comebacks like " well i grew up without a father and i am fine" . Well are you truly glad that you didn't have a dad? Was growing up without a father ideal? I also know some people are going to say "better no father then a terrible one" Yes it's best not to be abused by a mother or father but that is not what i am talking about. Fathers now are treated as unnecessary and that only mothers are needed. That is not the truth at all. Children turn out better and more well adjusted when they have a good dad around.


Those of us who grew up with our dads know just how wonderful and necessary it was for them to be there. If my mom had been selfish and decided to go to the local sperm bank then i would of missed out on something amazing , and there would of been something important missing from my life. You only bring a baby into this world when you look at your life through your babies eyes. Would your life be the kind of life a baby would want to be a part of? Would this child want to grow up without a father? Would this child want you and the man you are choosing to be it's parents? If you can truly answer all of these questions as a firm yes then proceed. If not then stop being so selfish and put your potential childs need ahead of yours.
 ngat73

Joined: 6/10/2007
Msg: 50
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How many women are young, never had kids, and DON'T want them?
Posted: 5/2/2008 9:38:21 AM

Now that is the kind of thinking that really burns me! A child "NEEDS" a father. Fathers are important. When a child does not have a father it is a tragic thing. Ask any child who grew up without a father if they are glad they didn't have a dad. There is this mentality flowing around now that fathers are unnecessary. Fathers are as unnecessary as mothers are. You need both.


Yes i know that there are going to be some comebacks like " well i grew up without a father and i am fine" . Well are you truly glad that you didn't have a dad? Was growing up without a father ideal? I also know some people are going to say "better no father then a terrible one" Yes it's best not to be abused by a mother or father but that is not what i am talking about. Fathers now are treated as unnecessary and that only mothers are needed. That is not the truth at all. Children turn out better and more well adjusted when they have a good dad around.


Those of us who grew up with our dads know just how wonderful and necessary it was for them to be there. If my mom had been selfish and decided to go to the local sperm bank then i would of missed out on something amazing , and there would of been something important missing from my life. You only bring a baby into this world when you look at your life through your babies eyes. Would your life be the kind of life a baby would want to be a part of? Would this child want to grow up without a father? Would this child want you and the man you are choosing to be it's parents? If you can truly answer all of these questions as a firm yes then proceed. If not then stop being so selfish and put your potential childs need ahead of yours.


Trust me...I know about men that have abandonment issues. I dated two of them and they have serious trust issues. I have a very large family and really am not going to be alone with this. I have alot to offer a child...unconditional love and support. My child would be very lucky. Besides, I won't be single for long. Maybe 2-3 years, or 4 max.


What a silly question, who would want to not grow up with a Father? My baby, anyone would be privleged to be a part of my life.

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