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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > How soon is too soon for a second date?      Home login  
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 simplelady66
Joined: 10/26/2007
Msg: 26
How soon is too soon for a second date?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

Hey! Thanks everyone! Well I did text to say thanks for the lovely evening and he did reply. I have had a couple of texts from him since saying hi how are u and all that so does this sound promising?


Yes it sounds promising. Now ask him what his schedule is like, and when he thinks you can get together again. Keep it light.....

Women should not be afraid to approach the men to ask them out. He obviously is still interested, so go for it.

Sometimes you can tell if someone will be a good fit on the first date, and sometimes it takes a few dates. Just be relaxed, let it go where it's going to go, and enjoy yourself.
 nickphilosoph
Joined: 10/26/2007
Msg: 27
How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/4/2008 8:01:24 AM
Re the Opost

"...Anyway in a nut shell there was no suggestion from him that he would like to meet up again and I dont know when is the right time to as...or do I ask?..."

Unless my English fail me, the "there was no suggestion from him that he would like to meet up again" means that he did not indicate interest in another date. So chances are he is not (interested).

In general, there is no problem with a secnd date the day after the first, unless it went well into the night, in which case, a day's break could be in order (but not necessarily).

In theory dates can happen back ti back, in a continuous manner, like they meet on Friday night and end the date Monday morning. It can be considered as 3 dates, back to back.
 princesspea123
Joined: 2/19/2008
Msg: 28
How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/4/2008 8:15:07 AM
Just send him a text message the next day to complement him on the date and says something like "if you fancy another night out sometime, that would be great, if not, not a prob". If he responds with a positive reply regarding a second date, well that may mean he is interested, if u dont get a reply or its not a positive one regarding a second date, just forget it and move on.
 princesspea123
Joined: 2/19/2008
Msg: 29
How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/4/2008 8:25:47 AM
Could I just mention, some people have stated that u should not contact him first and that men like a chase. Some men do, yes, but not all. If a bloke generally liked u for u, then u contacting him wont be a prob. Mayb he will see you as a confident and independant individual who believe in equality and cuttin to the chase. Blokes that I have dated, the ones who I have liked to meet again, iv messaged them a few hours or a day later regarding the date and to arranging a date for another time, Iv always had positive comments and have seen them again.
 missy-d1983
Joined: 2/21/2008
Msg: 30
How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/4/2008 10:10:06 AM
Heya!

Well I have left it a few days and I've just sent a text just casually asking if he would like to meet up again next week. AND....being the good girl that I am...I'm leaving it as that. Reply and I'm going for it. No reply and I'm going fishing
 notreallynormal
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 31
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How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/4/2008 10:52:03 AM
First date is no relationship keep dating others. Why do women always get so attached after one date? Why don't we feel the need to date as many men as we can fit into a week? Also I am not talking about sexual activity on these dates either, Just a date.

It is to soon for a second date if you ask for it and it is never to soon for a second date if he asks..

Watch out with the contacting him ,back off if he does not contact you ,move on. To me it is to soon to worry about a second date. Let him date the other 3 girls he is talking to then make his decision.
 SANDBUG
Joined: 1/9/2007
Msg: 32
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How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/4/2008 11:00:43 AM
yes i agree that "if it is meant to be it will be"... one day at a time... i have gone on the first date and the second date the next day... just depends and yes good luck to you.


Sandbug
 Felanie
Joined: 1/23/2006
Msg: 33
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How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/4/2008 1:57:26 PM

THis is an advice forum...since when has asking for advice been immature?

When I said it "jokingly" it was within the context of that he insisted on buyin the drinks and wouldn't let me pay. My words were" Next timeI'll have to buy the drinks to even things out a bit."Thats not head games.


How is him buying drinks a joke? How is you saying that you would buy them next time a joke? A joke is something that is supposed to be funny isn't it?
As per the dictionary; JOKE:

Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.
A mischievous trick; a prank.
An amusing or ludicrous incident or situation.
Informal
Something not to be taken seriously; a triviality: The accident was no joke.
An object of amusement or laughter; a laughingstock: His loud tie was the joke of the office.

SYN:

wisecrack, gag, jape, prank, quip, quirk, sally, raillery. Joke, jest refer to something said (or done) in sport, or to cause amusement. A joke is something said or done for the sake of exciting laughter; it may be raillery, a witty remark, or a prank or trick: to tell a joke. Jest, today a more formal word, nearly always refers to joking language and is more suggestive of scoffing or ridicule than is joke: to speak in jest.


Posting it in the forums of the site you met him on sounds like head games to me. Suppose he reads your profile and sees that you posted to the forums asking for advice after the first date when you already told him that you would purchase the drinks next time. Personally if I came across a thread started by someone I had just gone out on ONE date with, asking the questions you did, I would feel that person was desperate, and needing validation as to where things would be going. After ONE date, there shouldn't be any doubt as to wether or not there will be a second date, and if he hasn't suggested one by now or said he would call you, he wants to play it cool, he isn't interested in a second date, or he read your post and thinks it was a JOKE.

JMO
 Ignorancisbliss
Joined: 4/25/2008
Msg: 34
How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/4/2008 2:01:00 PM
the tomorrow..........
 Gerard0
Joined: 4/29/2008
Msg: 35
How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/4/2008 7:26:27 PM
Well,
Not difficult at all.
One of you, it does not matter who, must say in a satle way if he/she wants the second date. You are he will not miss any kind of message in this regard.
Say thank you if you and say you enjoyed it, you can next time I will take you to my bar or if it is appropriete in a face to face conversation.
If you called to say thank you, do not email because it will be too much. If you told what u wanted at the end of the meeting, just leave it with him.
He seems like a gentlman (he payed the drinks), if he knows you enjoyed it, leave it with him, you can wait for him a bit and do not date someone else until next weekend, just give him time to contact u before next w/end.
Your job and his is to impress and show the interst if there is one, and yep, be sutle,say and show what you feel and wait for him to express him self, do not push. If you hear no echo back, give him few days if he'shy and then move on
 Gerard0
Joined: 4/29/2008
Msg: 36
How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/4/2008 7:33:57 PM
GOOD , Felanie, leave the girle alone,

No one knows every thing, If I where her guy and knew that she posted this ques in the forum, I would think:
1/ She cares alot a bout me, and this matter is important for her
2/ She is humble, she knows people have different experience and wants to learn.
3/She is clever and social, she does not want to do the experience her self and do the mistakes, she wants to learn from other people experiences and do the right thing.

As for you Felanie, If I dated u and read ur comment on the forum, I would think:
U are into head games and I would run away from u as fast as I can

Now leave the girle alone
 missy-d1983
Joined: 2/21/2008
Msg: 37
How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/5/2008 5:10:24 AM
Thanks gerad0. Some people are very sad especially when they go to all that effort in defining what a joke means...that is very very sad an in itself a joke. We are here to learn from eachother and there are very good people out there with a wealth of experience to give advice and not to belittle and patronise.

A big thank you to everyone except for Felanie who clearly needs to get out if the only reason for being on here is the forums (hey JMO ).

That date didn't work out but hey I have another 2 lined up! Thanks again. !

XXX
 princesspea123
Joined: 2/19/2008
Msg: 38
How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/5/2008 9:23:00 AM
Good luck Missy!!!
 oldiebutgoodie
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 39
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How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/5/2008 9:32:54 AM
There is no set time limit. I been on second dates, the very next day!
 MajorThomas
Joined: 2/10/2008
Msg: 40
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How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/5/2008 10:41:23 AM
This is just me, but I don't call until 2-3 days afterwards.

Even if you think you both connected this might not be true with the other person. Calling immediately, shows a needy, clingy and desperate personality that needs instant affirmation. If you truly want things to work, I don't think 2-3 days will hurt your ego to much waiting for a callback.

Also depending on where the person is in their life some people are extremely busy with work or school and family, so not everyone can just go on another date on a whims notice.
 sleeplessinessex
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 41
How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/5/2008 11:45:29 AM
*groan at the replies here*

If you like the fella call/text him and ask him on the spur of the moment if he would like ot meet up, if hes interested he will show up or cancel and tell you when hes free

equal opportunity folks women can be just as independent as men, there are no rules or ways to play things in dating, be like Nike, just do it!
 PretaPorter
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 42
How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/5/2008 3:57:42 PM

equal opportunity folks


Ha! If only it were that simple.

Many guys would change their mind even if they liked the girl if she called them first and say no they didn't want to see her again. Or if they didnt, they would say yes but a subtle change of attitude would take place. They would stop the pursuit. They would become nonchalent and complacent. They would start taking her for granted and never call her at all. All because the girl phoned him to ask if he wanted to see her again!

By taking control of the situation and calling a man to ask him if he wants to see her again, she is actually doing the opposite of what she wants to achieve.

It is far far better to wait for him to call ... or at best call with a silly excuse, like I left my keys in your car (planted) - but most guys get wise to that.

Love just doesn't follow the world of equal opportunities and it really is far better to leave the chasing to him!

Guys ... if you really liked a girl after the first date, why would you need to be reminded to make a second date?
 MajorThomas
Joined: 2/10/2008
Msg: 43
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How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/5/2008 4:34:04 PM

Guys ... if you really liked a girl after the first date, why would you need to be reminded to make a second date?

exactly, well since im a logical kind of guy, im usually mentally crunching through a checklist of things I liked and thing i didn't like, takes me about 2-3 days
 giggleparts
Joined: 10/23/2004
Msg: 44
How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/5/2008 9:37:32 PM
Blah blah blah young... blah blah blah wait 3 days.... blah blah blah the moon has to be in proper phase... blah blah blah don't look desperate... BLAH BLAH BLAH!


Just do it.

If I had a pretty girl pursing me, I would be very happy... very... very happy.

the giggleparts - In lieu of pursuit by opposite sex, will pursue self, for self's sake.
 867love
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 45
How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/5/2008 10:35:43 PM
if he had a great time, he is already thinking about asking you out again (before the date is over). -probibly will call the next day, however if he doesn't mention anything, no follow up call then next day or mysteriously disappears -(never to call again)
-ruh roh scooby doo -this mystery isn't too hard to solve.
 Loyal813
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 46
How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/6/2008 10:34:11 AM
some men dont like to hurt a girls feelings. if he hasn't called then call him and if nothing happens from there then try to move on. dating sux, sometimes...but if you keep trying i believe you could have a alot of fun just meeting new, cool people.
just like the website says "Plenty of Fish."
 Jonathan85
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 47
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How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/6/2008 1:13:55 PM
I met with a POF guy last night and things went really well. I suggested next time I buy some drinks to (jokingly) even things out...obviously he bought them. Anyway in a nut shell there was no suggestion from him that he would like to meet up again and I dont know when is the right time to as...or do I ask? I really like him so I dont want to mess things up by looking like I'm a stalker!
I try to arrange for the second date to be very soon after the first. Preferably the next day.

But I am of the alternative school of thought, namely that momentum needs to be harnessed.

However, I believe proper "dating" etiquette teaches that to avoid confusion/miscommunication the second date should be discussed before the end of the first date.
No way am I putting my life on hold just for one person and I will take up offers of other dates if I like them
All that said, I do think there is an inherent risk associated with talking about a date you had with someone on the forum that is directly linked to from your profile that he can see whenever he wants.

If I were the guy you had a date with, I would become a bit hesitant if you feel so cavalier about advertising that you are seeing more than one guy. I would assume you were (until we had the exclusive conversation and both agreed to it), but it doesn't mean I would want to hear/read about it.

-Blue
 northeast25
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 48
How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/6/2008 1:29:17 PM
Many guys would change their mind even if they liked the girl if she called them first and say no they didn't want to see her again. Or if they didnt, they would say yes but a subtle change of attitude would take place. They would stop the pursuit. They would become nonchalent and complacent. They would start taking her for granted and never call her at all. All because the girl phoned him to ask if he wanted to see her again!......By taking control of the situation and calling a man to ask him if he wants to see her again, she is actually doing the opposite of what she wants to achieve.
...It is far far better to wait for him to call ... or at best call with a silly excuse, like I left my keys in your car (planted) - but most guys get wise to that.


I disagree with this. There is no need for a woman to be passive and wait for a man to call her. I don't think many men would lose interest in a girl they like just because she called him after a date. Actually I think the opposite would happen. Many men would be happy if a woman they like called him because that would clearly show that she is interested in him.
 JazzLover7
Joined: 4/1/2008
Msg: 49
How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/6/2008 2:43:02 PM
Breakfast the next morning is too soon.
 James_in_SD
Joined: 7/3/2006
Msg: 50
How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/7/2008 3:37:46 AM
Before the first date. That would definitely be too soon for a second date.
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