| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:20:17 PM | My question is, why do men OR women drop you like a hot potato with no explanation after professing attraction, affection, similar interests, good sex, etc? IMO I think a lot of people go through life without any idea of how to do it, so they resort to trial and error. When what they are doing doesn't give them the payoff they were looking for they "drop you like a hot potato" and move on. For some however the payoff is the conquest. It could also be the instant gratification and throw away culture they grew up in.
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:37:21 PM | they don't if they weren't all that into you, it's easy (never any deep feelings to begin with). if they were really into you, they just hide it.
in the case of not interested or not interested enough: when people APPEAR to abruptly lose interest, it's rarely really as abrupt as you think. it seems abrupt to you because you didn't know what the other person has been privately thinking for months.
in the case of very interested: they won't leave. if they do, it's because YOU dumped them. in that case, many men will hide their feelings, but those feelings are definitely there. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:49:12 PM | hey, bcos
1 too many women in this world, you are not the only one
2 you are not the only special one
3 you are not the only special one for them
what you can do:
1 find a more stable guy
2 improve yourself | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/6/2008 6:04:32 AM | I don't think anyone, male or female stops having feelings quickly. It takes time to fall in love. To get to know someone to feel that deeply for them. I also believe it takes time to fall out of love with them. What may seem like losing feelings so quickly is not really what happened. It may seem like it, because it came as a blow to you. But things were building up inside of him/her and then they made the decision that its over. But it wasn't a quick thing as it seems to be. If we think about it, we even saw it coming but denied it to ourselves out of our feelings for that person.
This question could have just as easily been, " how can women stop having feelings so quickly" I do not think there Is a difference between the sexes on this topic.
I think the big difference is that when woman make that decision that its over, they tend to never have a change of heart. I believe us men are more apt to try harder to go back. Or have a change of heart and want to go back. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/6/2008 6:31:24 AM | | I wonder that myself . I was the one that kicked his azz out because he went into his shell and wouldn't talk to me. He talked about marriage about 2 months before i kicked him out and then we didn't talk no more. About a week later i realized i still loved him, and asked him back but he said no, he's never coming back and we have children, that was the first time we have ever separated after 8.5 yrs, and he said he doesn't love me , what's up with that? I really think he is in denial or just an azz that never loved me. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/6/2008 4:19:26 PM | In today’s society, relationships are a lot more disposable than they were 50 years ago. Many people find it easier to give up then to put effort into working through the issues of their relationship. What we have become accustomed to is that there are plenty of fish in the sea and if one doesn’t fit completely, it’s best to ditch then to try to compromise. The truth is many relationships fall apart due to a lack of trust and appreciation. Why does one partner cheat? Because they no longer feel  | |
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HDSuth
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Joined: 6/28/2008
Msg: 407 | |
| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/6/2008 4:27:35 PM | | Your guess is as good as mine. I was with a guy for three years and he told me that he never loved anyone like he does me. Then his brother introduces him to another girl and he breaks up with me on our 3 year anniversary. He calls me 3 days later and wants to know if we can be friends. Go Figure. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/6/2008 4:36:12 PM | Determining if a man really loves you.....
- If he's seen you puke your guts out all night long after inadvertently drinking too much while out with the girls
- If he takes you back after fights
- Accepts you unconditionally
- Overlooks the bad hair color job you got
- Loves you if you put on a few pounds
- Loves you if your dog chewed up some stuff in his house
- Loves you if your dog had diarhea in his house
You really don't know if someone really loves you unless you can get thru some of the trials and tribulations of life. If the guy flaked out on you and left you, you're better off without him. You are now free to find someone who accepts you for who you are, faults and all. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/6/2008 4:40:03 PM | because they never had feelings in the first place..
most women should know what drives a man,an it's his d ick of course an what may keep him around wether for a very short time or very long time,is good p ussy,good cooking,an if he still finds you sexually attractive or not..
other wise he's on to the next new adventure/new booty regardless of the situation..
pretty much that's it wrapped in a nut shell | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/6/2008 4:50:57 PM | My experience with this is that they never really had them to begin with, they tell you what they know you want to hear, maybe to get sex, money whatever, or just to have a little power, then once they got you hooked, their mission is accomplished and they dont want to play anymore. I have only had one experience where the guy had a perceived hurt and used that to get out of it and hid his true feelings of hurt. A wiser older male friend told me this, "Do not ever ever let a guy know how you truly feel until he is declaring love for you and his actions show it.'' I have also found the old adage, "It's in his kiss" holds true. If a guy is into you, you will feel it in his kiss. If not he will kiss you like he kisses his mom or sister. Break ups are easier for men because they do not put their emotions into like women do. We are emotional they are logical. For us when we sense trouble our emotions say 'how can we fix this" for them trouble says 'Problem? If I just end it , NO MORE PROBLEM!!" Hang in there, we will have what we want someday, true abiding love. In the meantime remember not to wear your heart on your sleeve and keeps your cards close to your chest until he shows you his hand!!!! Let him be the one to go "all in" first.....
Peace | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/6/2008 10:25:46 PM | it's possible that he does not show his feelings but doubtful...guys are pretty much more in touch with their feelings than women...they know what they want...if a guy believes you are a keeper he will let you know... | |
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Bug.
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Joined: 6/28/2008
Msg: 412 | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/7/2008 1:13:39 PM |
because they never had feelings in the first place..
most women should know what drives a man,an it's his d ick of course an what may keep him around wether for a very short time or very long time,is good p ussy,good cooking,an if he still finds you sexually attractive or not..
other wise he's on to the next new adventure/new booty regardless of the situation..
pretty much that's it wrapped in a nut shell
Miss Estella
I feel so sorry for you if you believe all men are like the way you described. It may be true that a man is apt to be attracted for physical reasons first, meaning sexually. And yes the good sex makes him want to stay around. As for the cooking? Hell, I'm a damn good cook myself. That would be the last thing to make me stray. And when I fall in love, even the sex could taper off as it normally does over time. I would never leave a woman or look for a new adventure based on your criteria. I know I'm not alone with this either. You must be attracted to the wrong men is all I can say if they lead you to believe the way you do.
My experience with this is that they never really had them to begin with, they tell you what they know you want to hear, maybe to get sex, money whatever, or just to have a little power, then once they got you hooked, their mission is accomplished and they don't want to play anymore. I have only had one experience where the guy had a perceived hurt and used that to get out of it and hid his true feelings of hurt. A wiser older male friend told me this, "Do not ever ever let a guy know how you truly feel until he is declaring love for you and his actions show it.'' I have also found the old adage, "It's in his kiss" holds true. If a guy is into you, you will feel it in his kiss. If not he will kiss you like he kisses his mom or sister. Break ups are easier for men because they do not put their emotions into like women do. We are emotional they are logical. For us when we sense trouble our emotions say 'how can we fix this" for them trouble says 'Problem? If I just end it , NO MORE PROBLEM!!" Hang in there, we will have what we want someday, true abiding love. In the meantime remember not to wear your heart on your sleeve and keeps your cards close to your chest until he shows you his hand!!!! Let him be the one to go "all in" first.....
Peace
Not all men tell you what they know you want to hear. To pigeon hole all men to be like this is just wrong. You might be right to some degree in not telling a man how you feel until he declares love for you first. But again, I strongly agree in watching his actions for there lies the clue. Words can be just words. But if he loves you, he will show it in actions. Again I agree with the kiss theory...to a degree. And add to that, the way he/she looks into your eyes.
You are very wrong about all men seeing problems and ending it. I saw problems almost from day one with the last relationship I had. I did not run. I stayed and tried to find ways to adjust, help, understand and fix them. Not all men are like you describe. At least not this man. She ended it, not me. And even now if given the opportunity, I'd still be working on it. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/7/2008 3:17:37 PM | Statistically, break-ups are harder on men than women. There are TONS of studies on this. I think men are more romantic and hurt a lot more when relationships go sour. They just do not express themselves the way some women think they should.
Everyone is different and expresses pain differently. Some throw themselves into work, new people, or golf. It is just a distraction, because the pain is still there.
Does anyone read the threads? There is a guy who broke-up with his girlfriend and is upset that she moved on to another guy. Even though he was the one who broke-up with her!
I am alone, but I would not take back any of my ex's. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:15:03 PM | easy answer to that is that they practice at it.
so we broke up and you want me to be on the flow with a bottle of JD listing to country crying about how much I miss ya, well your moving on with you life.
hell of an ego booster for ya.
there always somebody in a relationship that loves a little less.
so how can I stop having feelings so quickly ?
allot of heartless women taught me how.
sure is the same for allot of women out there.
P.S and no I don't play In the emotional battle ground with female's there 300 pound gorilla's in that arena and there no chance of winning for most males. | |
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gvnage
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Joined: 6/16/2008
Msg: 417 | |
| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/8/2008 5:03:16 PM | | ok guys I'm so curious how you would explain a guy in a ltr who is disrespectful/selfish/rude/ unloving and all of that, so the female walks, and then he comes back, having not even made amends for those wrongs with, "I wish we were married and you were having my baby', and not only that, expects the gal to BELIEVE him?? I mean whats up w/ that crazy confusing mixed signal mess. As a woman, I cannot possibly explain this one. Since I am not wired to think or feel like a man, thought I would put this aspect out there too bc op, this is what I percieve as the flip side of your qestion too, and Im thinking both dynamics must maybe go together? | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/8/2008 6:28:59 PM | | Well OP...I think of emotions like a light switch and turn them off when I see the end in sight..once the end arrives ,I imagine a old doorway ..then I put drywall on it , paint it, and next thing you know ...that ugly door and memories of that doorway are gone...just like that..no longer in my present mind ... | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/8/2008 6:57:46 PM | You need to remember, or learn one thing. Women DO NOT fall in love. They experience romance. They do not have the capacity to love anyone but their children.
So when men treat you like you treat men, you get all huffy. Not much fun is it?
Welcome to modern life. Time to get a dog. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:35:52 PM |
How can a man tell you one day he cares for you or loves you and then the next day you have an argument, break up and they completely lose all feelings they had?
 I've done this very thing and I'm a woman.
I didn't want him to think I cared because I didn't want him back.
I found out he use to beat his ex-girlfriend and she was pregnant, he had not bothered to tell me. With huge deal breakers like that, it's easy for me to give the impression I don't care. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/9/2008 2:02:55 AM | | i dont know how they do it i was with my husband for 18 years within 5 days of leaving after an argument he was back with an ex girlfriend and told me he didnt love me anymore how quick was that | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/9/2008 2:50:43 AM | Yes I agree.. all i have had is woman who want a quick shag tell me they want my babies, tell me thay love me, then when its starts to get serious they nob off ti the next bloke.... Why do women feel its only guys who attach easily?
Neill...(wishing he was a player cos then he would be in keeping with women he has met) | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/9/2008 8:12:52 AM |
Sorry .. I'm about to be very negative but I am probably right in thinking that they never really loved you in the first place??
We all know most men are fickle and shallow so how can they be capable of REAL love?!?!
Given all that, why are you wasting your time here?
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Brief case history, mine.
My wife and I knew each other for about 41 years and were married for 33 years and 122 days until 4:40AM, Oct 15, 2006. The picture of her dead is seared into my brain; I can remember like it was this morning.
After finally beating moderate-severe depression after just over a year, don't anyone _dare_ to tell me I can't feel.
I met some women on line - one at a time.
With one, after much emailing, IMing and phone conversations I flew 1200 miles to meet her. I went even though I had the flu and shouldn't have been in a plane. She appeared to enjoy my company. I returned to find a goodbye in my email.
With the current one(?), she becomes irritated when I IM her to see how she is and she does not return my emails.
I am developing a hard bark. How long before I become a "men" with no feelings. Banging your head against a stone wall has one virtue. It feels so _damned_ good when it stops. | |
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