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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/5/2008 1:49:44 AM | We have feelings, the trouble is, we have all the wrong feelings.
We have lust, more lust, and where's my dinner feelings.
Love is something we possess the ability to give, or fleetingly feel, but most of us have no control over the effect you girls have on us, visually that is. You have no idea how totally distracting you are to us, totally.
When we look at you with love, that ever present lust is awoken, and whilst we'll tell you we love you so convincingly at moments like those, you'll soon realise, you've been the victim of the best salesman on earth, "an aroused male".
The reason we're so convincing at those times, is we actually mean what we say when we're aroused, we really do, but as soon as we've been satisfied, it's back to those "where's my dinner feelings".
What does that say about us? Selfish maybe, yes, there's a bit of that there, but I'd say, lacking in evolution and adaption to today's women, which of course, may also have always been the case, I can only speak as a current male, and I don't mean all dried up and wrinkly like a currant, I mean as a fully functioning male in this moment.
We're all still, basically primal. We don't want to be the way we are, but then, we do.
We're born basic and primal, and for whatever reason, we don't seem to progress a great deal from that in our lives.
It's all your fault girls, you're just to damn lovely, too damn sexy, and too damned confusing for this celibate monk, and I suggest, all other males to an extent, lol.
Oh and with regard to shutting off our feelings, we don't actually, but once again, maybe it's just our way of protecting you from our feelings.
I mean, instead of crying, we have a terrible way of letting out our emotions, and I suppose it's best if we take our anger and frustrations to a safe place to deal with them, rather than dumping them on natures most beautiful creation.
The problem is, we very quickly adapt to any situation, and very soon, we find a new direction, and yet another lovely female is left feeling sad.
My advice is to keep away from us, we're hopeless, we don't have a clue what we're doing, what we want, or what's expected of us. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/5/2008 2:19:43 AM | I have managed, by and large, to learn how to manage my feelings. If a woman "breaks up" with me, I've found that the easiest way to "move on" is to go get laid. It's not that I don't still care, but having sex with someone else breaks the power of the sexual connection, up to a point.
If the woman "broke up", as a power play, intending to get back together, then it's a perfect way to restore balance in the relationship, if it resumes. She tried to be controlling, and whatever hurt she may feel in the aftermath, establishes the proper "cause and effect" for the future. If she "broke up" intending to move on, fine, so will I, and having sex with someone else helps towards letting go. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/5/2008 11:03:40 AM | | I honestly believe that guys hide their feelings, they can be just as sensitive or enmotional as females, but their not gonna show it, like us females do. they rather aviod the way their feeling, than to talk about it. In all honestly guys hate conflict, they hate dealing with problems, so they either dont wanna talk about it, or they think its easier to just walk away from it all , hoping thats gonna fix things and make it all go away, when thats wrong, cuz its all gonna build up, and they keep their feelings/emotions locked away inside them, thinking nobody will know what their doing, but alls you got to do is look into their eyes, and its all stored away inside them. So if you think that their feelings can just go away that easily, well they cant, they just like to let people think they can, but they only can fool so many people. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/5/2008 11:30:17 AM |
I honestly believe that guys hide their feelings, they can be just as sensitive or enmotional as females, but their not gonna show it, like us females do.
Generally, most men, don't wallow in pointless discussion of their "feelings", unless there is something to be done with them. If you can't "do" something, then walking away makes sense. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/5/2008 6:54:10 PM | my story is this...
i was seeing this guy...he was incredible....we met when i was outside taking a break from work one day...we chatted for a few minutes...he usually walked by everyday around the same time and we would have a little chat...
so after a few weeks he asked me out for a drink...and so we did...and we completely hit it off...we spent most of the night together...laughing, walking in the rain along the water, talking about everything....it was wonderful.
he sent me an email the next morning saying he had a wonderful time and he was honored to take me out.....
and of course i replied with pretty much the same response...he was incredible.
so we plan further dates, go out, stay in, watch movies....we ended up spending alot of time together. now he has a few issues that he has to sort out...i wont get into details...but i was more than willing to help him sort through some of them if he wanted the help....
he was so sweet, and kind and romantic...i have never ever experienced that before...he was definitely one of the good guys. he told me how beautiful i was, funny, intelligent..that he has never met a girl like me. he emailed me every morning before work, called me pretty much every night, showed up at my door to walk me to work unexpectantly, literally walked in the rain just to kiss me..i opened the door..there he was soaking wet..he never said anything..he just kissed me..cuddled for a minute and then left......he sent me sent me poetry for god sake.......
and so we see one another for about two months...and he is telling me during this that he wants to take things slow...and make sure that he is ready for a relationship (mind you i never asked for an exclusive relationship..i was content with how things were progressing) he was more of the emotional side of the relationship...so i told him he can take all the time in the world and that i would have patience...i wasnt going anywhere..i didnt want to end something that hadnt really started yet...and i was willing to wait for him because he seemed like everything i have been dreaming about
anyway so after two glorious wurlwind months...that was it....we hadnt spoken for a few days and i emailed him to say hello and i hope things were going well with work, moving into his new place etc....
he emailed me back and said that he couldnt handle a relationship...(again i was never the one that proposed a relationship..HE DID)...but that he still wanted to be friends....WHAT??? it just really came out of nowhere...or at least i think it did???
anyway...i am finding it really hard to come to terms with it because it just ended so abruptly....i miss him alot...and now i have no idea what to do. how can he go from being is incredible to so...mmmm not sure if i can use the word i want to so i will just say.."not" so incredible .....ideas or suggestions as to what i should do anyone? thanks. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/5/2008 7:00:39 PM | The blood pressure that built up in the brain was releived through a lower region.
It takes awhile for it to get built up again by then past events may have been forgotten.
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/5/2008 7:01:20 PM | | they havent lost feelings...they just keep very busy so theyre not thinking bout it. i have a male friend who just broke up with his gf of 2 yrs and says he needs things to do to keep him busy from thinking...needless to say... i am getting my yard work and projects done...lol. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/6/2008 11:56:58 AM | I think an earlier poster had it. Me can compartmentalize. They can have a bad day at work and not take it home.
But I think you are also right from a big picture perspective. Men can blow off a date gone bad or a new relationship gone south, but they find it much harder to let go of a spouse or long term girlfriend they integrated into their life.
I guess that ability to compartmentalize robs us from developing the skills we need to deal with a real loss, so we really don't. At least that's my 2 cents | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/7/2008 2:58:39 PM | there is a very simple explination.
ever heard the term 'walk it off"?
that right there is the reason most of us just bounce back, we do as we have been told
from day one, just walk it off. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/7/2008 5:22:41 PM | I am totally with you on this question.
I had a boyfriend of 7 years one day out of the blue tell me he wanted us to not see each other anymore.
All this after talks of the future, and moving in and so on as recent as two weeks before that happened.
It has me so puzzled and I don't think I'll ever understand how someone could switch on the drop of a dime.. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/7/2008 5:39:50 PM | | most men are saying that to get yopur panties off and your legs behind your head fact of life. all men are pigs what can i say sorry we think this way | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/7/2008 5:45:34 PM | I agree with CassaGo.....
As we all should know my now, Men and Women are wired very differently. Women are truly in touch with feelings......and feelings are everything to us....that is how we are wired. Its true that men as a rule are taught to hide their feelings. Having done that all their lives, how do you expect them to be in touch with what true feelings are? I dont think they would recognize them if they started to have them....so they dismiss them and move on. Maybe its more of a fear of rejection that they fear.......so starting to have feelings causes them to "fear" imending relationship issues and commitment to one person. I read it somewhere that men are more about the commitment issue.....that is what they relate to most, in that its more of a fear of commitment because they are afraid to lose their freedom......so maybe its all about freedom for men and feelings for women. No wonder we have such a hard time with relationships. Fear of commitment or fear of rejection, either way, I think what women fear most is getting their hearts broken. I think with men, its more fear of commitment and losing their freedom. Maybe we are all the same.....but maybe its how we interpret and react to what our brains are processing that makes us different.
Men and women are so different.
I hope that helps.
Ginger | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/7/2008 5:48:51 PM |
How can a man tell you one day he cares for you or loves you and then the next day you have an argument, break up and they completely lose all feelings they had?
^^ Not sure if this has been said before - but personally (and utilized by myself and others), it's a defensive mechanism.
With that said, barring that he hasn't lost interest and is using the argument as the easy way out, if guys sense the relationship is ending because we feel she's not into us, is going to break up with us soon, etc. - the best way to not get hurt is to put on that guy's exterior and act like nothing phases. Inside, we're likely devastated but there is no way in hell she's going to see that - why give emotional ammunition to the very woman who's hurt you?
Breaking up with her first is the pre-emptive strike. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/7/2008 5:55:30 PM | | I really think men break up and move forward, once they are done, they are done,doesnt mean they dont care, they are just done.. but if someone breaks up with them they may cover their feelings on the outside but I think their feelings stay longer and are deeper than a womans.. if they move forward they are still feeling the pain of a woman breaking it off with them...ummm maybe its ego... | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/7/2008 6:41:15 PM | | I have not found some woman to be any different. I was engaged to be married. We were together for over 3 years. My girlfriend had a little girl that I helped raise since the day she was born. Last November, the day after Thanksgiving, on friday she made love to me. Two day's later, on Sunday she breaks up with me for what she said was no reason. I found out a week laster that she was screwing her boss. We lived together for about a month after that, sorta that is. I never saw her, but I took care of her daughter for her. We moved out from each other, and i raised the little girl by myself for 6 months. I raise her like she was my own. I never see the little girl anymore, and she still does not live with her mother. She lives with my ex-wife. I call that stopping your feeling quickly. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/7/2008 6:47:14 PM | Wow Chelsea,
You sound hostile. Understand that especially in this day and age it works both ways. I am now nursing a wounded spirit and feelings because a woman who had me sold on how no matter what it took she would prove to me how she felt and that we were good together. After 3 months the I love yous literally ceased as did the I miss yous and text messages etc. I wondered the same thing and asked this very same question as the orginal author, yet here I am hoping to find something good again.
The answer is a mystery. Most of us would love to tack it up to another/third party coming into the picture or taking that persons attention away from you, but it must be determined on a case by case basis. Ony the person who leaves you knows the real reason why.
You seem to sound the part of a somewhat bitter and scorned woman when there is no need to be like that.
Hope your luck changes.
A good man....... | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/7/2008 6:49:30 PM | | P.S. If you didn't figure it out. The little girl in the picture with me, is the one I am talking about. She say's she is Daddy's little short stuff. I really miss her. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/7/2008 7:14:34 PM | Just my opinion, but in my experience I've learned that men consider women an
'additional' part of their lives. Their work is number one, their friends and family
an extension of number one. But a new woman? Additional. Something they like
but don't necessarily 'need' in the first place. So that's why they find it so 'easy' to break up. However, women consider men a priority in their lives and that's why we find it more difficult to say good bye. To explain more adequately if a man had a
pie chart of how they delineate their priorities, women are about 25% of the pie, while to women, we consider our 'man' more liked 65%. That's why it hurts us more. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/7/2008 7:14:44 PM | "You seem to sound the part of a somewhat bitter and scorned woman when there is no need to be like that."
"Hope your luck changes."
Sorry you couldn't be more wrong. I just think when someone changes their mine that quickly, they never had feelings to begin with.
Why would you hope my luck changes, I'm not having any bad luck.
I do hope your luck changes though. Maybe you should try not reading so much into nothing..... | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/7/2008 10:18:19 PM | | I see it like this if a man says he don't love you and goes on about his business then in reality He didn't love you. And yes men tend to hold their feelings in for what ever reason. Not saying all men personally I dont keep my feelings clogged up Ive learned to express them and because of that the outcome was good and sometimes bad. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/8/2008 6:39:04 AM | I can't stand questions like this - like it's only men that do it.
You don't mean to ask, how can men stop having feelings so quickly. I have noticed exactly the same ability in women to seem to switch off all of a sudden, even when things were going great.
In both cases it's not because they ever had real feelings at all, it's because they were acting in ways that seemed like they had those feelings, either to get what they want, or because they were at one point open-minded about the relationship.
You maybe mean to ask, how can men not equate intimacy with affection to the same extent that women tend to. There's no quick answer to that. The only solution is to remember that you are responsible for your feelings and how you express them, and you are responsible for how wise, or vulnerable, you make yourself. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/8/2008 10:54:46 AM | | I don't think there is real one answer to "why do we stop having feeling so quickly?", sometimes it can only be a short fling, a relationship of seven months, or marriage of seven years. There is no one satisfying answer. I think that we think if only we knew the answer to this burning question, we could have known how to avoid disappointments. But no one can control the course of life. Anything that ends will hurt some way or the other, it is like 'a little death' of us, because that aspect of us, is now ceasing. | |
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