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| | How can men stop having feelings so quickly?Page 30 of 34 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34) | THIS IS SO UNTRUE, Men are no diferant then women, I am living proof! after my first divorce in 82 I could not look at another woman for two years. and everytime I seen my x I would beg her to come home and she has told me sence that I was perfect husband however she left me after 5 years of marriage second marrige my wife left me for someone else after 4 years of marriage and I let her come home 5 times before I finely said no more. so how does someone who has everything, does not get abused ,mentaly or any other way no violence just wake up one day and decide that they want out and walk out . I also raised both of my kids. so I believe it is people in general not gender. I do agree that men may not show it and thats why women live longer because men hold it in.
BOB | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 4/1/2009 7:02:24 PM | I see women all the time that are able to SHUT DOWN COMPLETELY, easier than any man Ive ever met.
Women are in my opinion, MORE cold hearted than men. | |
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Ettien
| | Joined: 3/17/2009
Msg: 728 | |
| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 4/1/2009 8:31:45 PM | I'm not one of those guys who says "I care you" then the next day argument break up and I act like I never had feelings.
I am an emotional guy and my feelings never fade. I'm also not afraid to show the girl that I'm hurt -- instead of masking it behind anger and petty tantrums. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 4/1/2009 11:57:59 PM | Men don't stop having feelings any more than women do. We have the same feelings. We still love that worthless two timing cheater, even though there's no chance of any meaningful relationship. We still hurt. We still ache, and sometimes we even hide it all by pretending to hate the other person.
But as men, we have to be careful about showing our feelings... Sort of like how women have to be careful about getting naked. Yes, that sounds stupid, but hear it through.
What a man wants most is for a woman to share her body with him. He knows he's dating when he can hold her hand, put his arm around her, kiss her, or maybe more, depending on the guy.
What a woman wants most is for a man to share his feelings with her. She knows she's dating when he says "I love you, I want you," when he loans her his coat, opens doors for her tries to protect her, things like that.
When a woman dumps a guy, he will do everything he can to get back "together with her" Not because he likes her. After all, they break up because they can't stand to be around each other. He wants to still hold her hand, put his arm around her, sleep in the same bed as her, or otherwise continue to have the physical relationship they had together. When things go wrong, the first thing the man does is try to see her in person.
When a Man dumps a woman, what does she want though? Certainly, women like to cuddle every bit as much as men do, but that's not the main thing she's after, and you can tell, because when a woman finds herself sleeping in the dog house, she doesn't try to get back inside right away. Instead, she stays right there, pulls out her cell phone, and tries to hear his voice. She wants those affirmations of her worth as a person. She wants to hear that he still loves her, wants her, and is willing to protect her.
Now, if you're in a breakup, and your partner is only out for your body, you can say things like "I still love you, but we can't be together right now. it just won't work." If you're in a breakup, and your partner is only out to hear you say you still love her, then you can't say that, because that's all she wants.
Men have feelings. Our feelings are our own. We share them as a gift to those we love. It's a hard thing to do sometimes, especially after a break-up, but unless we want some crappy on-again-off again relationship, or some creepy stalkeress, we have to. I'm sorry if you find any of this hard, or offensive, but that's just the way it is. Now I take it you've recently broken up with a partner. I'm sorry for you. If it's any consolation, I'm sure he misses a lot of things about you, but it just didn't work out, and he's trying to get you to move on before the two of you hurt each other any more. Please respect his wishes, and leave him alone. When he's ready to talk, if he's ever ready to talk, he'll call you. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 4/7/2009 1:14:36 AM | people leaving OK mariages [727] because we can, I guess.
its the we only live once mentality that says we might be missing something.
why do we think we deserve better than we have?
no moral reason to stay.
both sexes do it.
leave little children behind.
dosent make the world a better place. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 4/7/2009 2:55:13 AM | | Well to be honest I think everyone is kind of right. No one is the same some just follow others actions. Its really not that easy for guys we do tell our friends and family, but the thing is when some guys are hurt since we cant when an argument we go to a last resort get you where it hurts and everyone knows that ignoring a woman bothers her the most. But back to the subject, we dont stop so fast. I fell in love the a girl during some bad times unfortunetly she couldnt handle thing and we agree to break up. Its been five years since then and we are great friends, but honestly everytime I look at her I wanna cry for screwing up. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 4/25/2009 9:31:42 AM | I find your reasoning very interesting. Just curious, but what types of things do you consider a red flag?
I don't know, I thought the whole point of a relationship was to work on your problems together (depending on what they are of course!) because you care for them. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 4/25/2009 9:47:53 AM | | Have news for you... it cuts both ways. Women can turn off and be as cold as ice in milliseconds. Men do feel the same pain, we just can't be seen as weak. So, instead of acting like a woman, men get angry and vindictive when badly hurt. Shortly after, are not happy about the behavour, but by then whats done is done. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 4/25/2009 11:54:21 PM | I just want to put in my 2 cents here since i can relate to what you are saying...
Women do it to..Give you a story here..I started dating my brother in law sister a year ago..I knew this ladly half my life 15 years messed around when we were young..She got married and we stoped talking for a little..long story short her husband left her and i started dating her just a month after..I ignored the red flags since i knew her so many years. after 7 months it got serious she talked about getting married wanted me to move in etc etc i got very attacked to her little girl..We had some problems in the relationship like time..she did not have much since the father was not seeing the kid the whole time we dated..
We had a bad month she told me she needed time..turns out 2 weeks after breaking up with me she was allready seeing someone while i was miserable and had a ring i never got to give her...so in a nutshell i say the same thing about women..It depends on the person realy..
I think back now...If someone can do that then they never loved you in the first place...Sadly i will allways know what my x is doing i see my brother in law every day but have lost respect for her and how i got treated. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 4/28/2009 2:47:29 PM | We currently live in a very feminine exulted society where political correctness influences and distorts our beliefs and worldviews regarding the superiority of women and the problems associated with masculinity. A number of myths have been promulgated by the media, women's special interest groups and political organizations such as women are the "weaker" sex; how men abuse women but not vice versa; that women are more empathic and compassionate; and that men do not experience the same level of emotional loss as do women. So women are elevated to a superior level of emotional functioning while men are generally perceived as being unevolved and unable to commit.
This fiction has resulted in many women believing that they deserve special treatment and attention while mens' emotional needs have been relegated to a position of invisability. The fact is that there are many women who are exceedingly strong psychologically and even more so then men! Many women are able to tolerate physical and psychological loss and with greater resilency than men. They are generally able to bounce back from the breakup of a relationship whereby men generally brood and get caught up with their loss for significantly longer periods of time. If there is any doubt about how men suffer emotionally just read the numerous threads on this website to obtain an idea how emotionally tortured men are when confronted with the loss of their female partner to understand how such myths distort reality.
In regard to abusive behavior towards mates, men do not hold a franchise in this area either because numerous studies reveal that women promulgate or participate in verbal and physical abuse of their male partners at a similar level to men. The difference is that women seek support from others when abused and are significantly more likely to contact social agencies and if necessary the police, thereby gaining the attention of the media and specials interests groups. Unfortunately due to society's holding men to a different standard, abused men will often cower and conceal their abuse out of apprehension that they will be stereotyped as being a weak and ineffectual man if they display loss of emotional control (ie, cry, get depressed), emotions women are praised for.
As far as being more empathic and/or compassionate, people are people, irrespective of gender, and as we can readily observe from reading the threads on this forum, there are numerous women as there are men who demonstrate significant deficits in displaying empathy and compassion towards their mates. The same scenario exists relating to mens' and womens' ability to commit to relationships. Although women alledge that men generally cannot commit the fact is that numerous women display a similar inability to commit to a relationship.
Sorry ladies for dispelling these myths but abiding by such stereotypes of the unfeeling male and the emotionally superior woman results in the perpetuation of men and women failing to connect, communicate and sustain relationships. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 4/28/2009 3:27:11 PM | Why is it that men show anger instead of hurt? It makes the situation worse.
In answer to this: Anger is just a cowardly extension of sadness. It's a lot easier to be angry at someone than it is to tell them you're hurt | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 4/28/2009 4:01:54 PM | Votre fille de reve, why is it that women scream, rave and demand rather than verbalize their feelings of hurt? It makes the situation worse.
In answer to this: screaming, ranting and demanding is just a cowardly extension of sadness. Its alot easier to scream, rant and demand at someone than it is to tell them you're hurt.
Getting the picture Votre fill de reve. The above statement about women is as absurd as your gross generalizations about men! YOU are engaging in stereotyping and it is this mind-set that perpetuates myths regarding the superiority of women versus those of men. Sorry Votre Fille, we are all humans and in that regard women are as complex and can be as problematic, if not more so, then men. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 4/28/2009 4:12:15 PM | we are all humans and in that regard women are as complex and can be as problematic, if not more so, then men.
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You were doing so well until you added that little stick into the sides of all women (emphasis mine).
I am overwhlemed by the selfish worldviews today. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 4/28/2009 7:46:47 PM | | I was wondering that too. I broke up with my ex 6 months ago. I try to be his friend, but I feel all emotional. I hte to say I still miss him, but he seems to be having a helluva time. After 3 years he sees me maybe once a month and I don't really talk to him that much. He told my family I was "One of the best women he had ever know". Now this is what it has come down to. I am on here trying to move on and am just frustrated that I can't just not give a damn like him | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 4/28/2009 8:11:52 PM | How can someone get over you so quickly?
He was over you a long time ago or the feelings for you were never there. Men are no different than women. You don't get over someone you really love that easy. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 4/30/2009 12:45:05 PM | here here you are right , ive been dumped a few times and it hurts like hell .But ive also dumped women that treated me badly and that also hurt like hell .At the end of the day if you want to be apart from someone and you have no doubt its better to make it clean for both concerned although it may not seem like it at the time
ps to all those who have had there heart broken i wish you love and happiness  | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 4/30/2009 4:27:32 PM | I've noticed it's a HUGE trend within the online dating community, myself.
They date you a few times, tell you you're the greatest thing ever, they want something long-term, and within a few days they want nothing to do with you and rarely have anything better to say than, "It's just not working". I'll admit, I've done it myself, just shut off the feelings right away and moved on, but I tend to only do that to those I really didn't feel anything with from the get-go, never the ones I actually liked.
I think the biggest problem these days is we're such an instant gratification society that when there's one little thing that bothers someone about a new mate, they bail immediately because the grass is ALWAYS greener and there's always someone new just a click away. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 4/30/2009 5:20:54 PM | | votre fill de reve, did anyone tell you that you have a tendency to engage in gross generalizations? In fact there are many women who also express their hurt by becoming very angry including screaming, yelling and threatening! | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 4/30/2009 7:43:33 PM | | Men are as human as we are....LOL Of course they hurt and feel the pain from break ups....but most will not show it! They deal with their pain a lot differently and get over it a lot quicker. But don't think for a minute that they aren't thinking of you if you did mean something to them...they are, but they don't dwell and neither should you............. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/1/2009 12:01:49 AM | [i wish i was one of those guys too 25 yrs. married to my wife and would of died for her and one day she walked out and was in bed 2 1/2 weeks later with a stranger she found on pof,4 months later i still hurt like it was yesterday , ]
At least she waited 2 1/2 weeks to bed a stranger. My ex was so broken hearted when we split up he was sleeping with a "friend" of ours 6 hours after I left and then TWO DAYS later moved yet an entirely different woman AND her two kids into our house and I had not even finished moving out yet! | |
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