| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/1/2009 7:35:16 PM | I have a ton to say on this subject as a whole but I just wanted to address your question/comment. The real answer is in the hardwired primate/tribal behavior that we in our various roles have developed. First: I think that most people forget that in relative terms were not all that far away from primitive tribal behaviors as its been only been a very brief period of the human families existence that we've been living with modern social structures. So much of the males role in the past was the protector/provider and anything that threatened that triggers a hormonal/emotional response. Anger is the response that comes to the surface as the male prepares to battle thr thing threatening his family. Sadness leads to frustration, frustration with no outlet leads anger, and anger sadly many times leads to inappropriate actions. By none of this do I excuse actions seeded in anger.
Secondly: Men have, due to the aforementioned cultural climate, been taught not to express their emotions in ways that may show weakness. Even though this has been changing in recent years you'll still see it even in your own families when we coddle a little girl who is hurt and tell a little boy that he shouldn't cry. | |
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3e
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Joined: 10/3/2007
Msg: 753 | |
| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/2/2009 6:39:31 AM | | Some people are very shallow and may be just lying. If he had true feelings for you it probably wouldn't be that easy. He's probably just another dude that will say whatever a woman wants to hear. Watch out. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/2/2009 6:46:32 PM | As the lady on Millionaire Matchmaker says "men think with their flagpole" (psst, the flagpole is their penis)...Most men don't think logically and all they want and think with their FLAGPOLE!!! I haven't found one who was genuinely thinking with their brain. Men are visual and sexual...they don't think like women. Truly, I would say he was fooling himself and probably you when he told you he cared..it's possible he may have looking for an "out" and didn't know how to go about it...first chance,first fight he experienced may have been his way to get out of the relationship..only you would know that...or would you? if he wasn't honest with his feelings and everything else...getting turned on and off like a light switch is not typical and most folks don't act like that...
Good luck to you dear...you will find a better guy. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/2/2009 10:53:58 PM | | I seriously wish I could stop having feelings quickly. I have not fallen in love with very many women in my lifetime, but I still remember every one I have, and they will always have a very special place in my heart. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/3/2009 6:38:58 AM | I am not sure if this has been posted before but I am wondering something. How can a man tell you one day he cares for you or loves you and then the next day you have an argument, break up and they completely lose all feelings they had? Or is it they just do not show them. Are break ups really that easy for men? How is it so easy for them to forget you and move on?
does this mean you missed all the "nice guy posts".... all the she tore my heart out and left me bleeding in the gutter cries?
"wait till you get to be my age" song.... and you will discover the real difference between men and women .... is only one is supposed to wear a bra.....
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/3/2009 7:00:39 AM | | Men always do that, they move on to stop thinking about the ex. I have been on the recieving end of this and I have been the new woman with the guy who still loves his ex! My ex is on plenty of fish and he moved on really quick but still kept telling me he still loved me.....its all about people not being able to be straight with you and themselves. The best thing but not always the easy option is to cut them out of your life but if you can't eventually you will realise that they do not care and they are just playing with your hed. Your worth a lot more than that but they will always try itxx | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/5/2009 1:44:22 PM | | i was with my ex 3months and we were getting on really well,he wasnt working at the time,we saw each other nearly everyday.he had been in a 14yr relationship and treated like crap so i thought i was doing the right thing and was really nice to him and at first he was lapping it up.then he went cold on me,we had a disagreement 1day and he said he cant be doing with the stress so i said it wont happen again and it dint.he continued to be cold and decided that we see each other less often which i agreed to.he said i was stressing him all the time which i wasnt so i kept my mouth shut so basically i was walking on aggshells i didnt want to upset him any further.then he stopped texting and the calls stopped so i asked if we were still together and he said i dont know so he couldnt give me an answer,i took the blame for it all.he then got a job and eventually text me to say it was over and its because of the stress of a relationship he wanted to be on his own,i was gutted he now doesnt speak to me ive done nothing wrong apart from treat him right he couldnt handle that.so yeah he got angry with me and lost feelings for me after 2months but kept me stringing along for a month. im finding it hard to find someone now because of the hurt HE caused me,i know wherte you are coming from. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/5/2009 3:25:59 PM | | I have a question for Men. Could a guy still have feelings for you even if he says "I don't know" when you ask him how the feelings he had for you could already be gone? He is heartbroken,too over his ex,and after something he said to me today,I wonder if he has anger,too. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/5/2009 4:18:26 PM | 1. we sometimes lie about how much we like a girl to sleep with her....that's well known.
2. why cry over spilled milk? if you break up with someone it doesn't do any good to sulk over it. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/5/2009 5:55:59 PM | | It must be that easy for men...just this weekend I had the man I was seeing tell me that he really believed 'he could fall in love with me'. Several hours later I left his house and he won't take my calls, return messages nothing...so it must be real freakin easy for men...in the process I'm having an emotional breakdown while I'm positive that he is doing just fine. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/5/2009 9:50:27 PM | A certain amount of our "feelings" reside in our ball-sacks; once the seed is spilled, we're spent, of emotion as well as lust. If we don't have sex with you, we think about you, fantasize, masturbate and spill the seed that way.
But men are capable of great love...it just takes time to recharge and reload the passion at times. We're "hot and cold". | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/5/2009 10:05:41 PM | | The one breaking up has been considering it for a long time, nobody just does that on a moments notice. My wife ran off with another man over a year ago, she is now married to him and they have a baby, she was pregnant when she left. Some days I still hurt so no break up are not easy for us, unless we are the ones doing the running off. Have you ever broken up with a boyfriend? Did he know that you were planning to break up with him or did it surprise him? When your the one doing the breaking up, it is something that you've been considering for awhile and so in a real sense you have already dealt with the emotional turmoil before the break up even happens and the break up is the end of things. When your the one being dumped, the break up is the begining of the emotional upset, and because it was a surprise it takes longer to get over. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/6/2009 9:23:14 AM | It's not so easy for me, I wish I was one of those type of men though lol it takes me awhile to worm up to people or get over them, I can get attached and love the person with 110% of my heart, I highly value long term relationships, and I cant understand how anybody can get over someone so quickly, maybe it gets easier if you have dated a lot of people, then you might adjust to losing a friend and not have it bother you so much, I don’t know, I only had 2 dates in my life. ha  | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/6/2009 10:42:25 AM | | I guess life experience teaches us...I'm guilty of letting things go on too long when I saw red flags...Optimistic he will turn it around...No surprises that men can just let it go quickly...its us women who put our blinders on ....we are just more emotionally aware of our pain...guys stuff it and project it differently....I believe they don't stop feeling...Perhaps just never were honest to begin with! They just weren't that into you......Stay strong women! | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/6/2009 10:56:56 AM | | I know "exactly" what you mean. It's not that they don't have any feelings but some of them have the abillity to block them, and even though they're hurting they try to concentrate in other stuff, I read this somewhere and it's so true. So how to deal with that? I'm almost fifty and still haven't learned, and don't know that I will. I guess is in their nature, and you know what? but not because of that you should not trust, just beware, that's all. I think it'll be harder to go into another relationship not trusting, I personally can't do that, take the good of the previous one and move on. Life is about that, experiences, good and bad. It makes who you are now. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/6/2009 11:08:59 AM | | One more thing, I've been reading all the replies to your questions, some will make you laugh, think, compare and think again, and at the end after reading some of them I already feel better, try that. I LOVE YOU ALL FOR THE GREAT ADVICE!!! | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/6/2009 12:39:32 PM | | OMG same thing happened 2 me and we never ever argued he tells me how much he loves me and talked about marriage and 2wks later he ran into an ex and they were talking and she was interested in him i asked him did u tell her bout me he said no i said of course not i asked him what he wnated and he didn't know so i walked and told him i wouldn't play second fiddle to no one and he comes in where i work everyday and has been with her a few times and my heart is so broken he acts like i never existed what do i do i haven't done anything to even the score but i want to | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/6/2009 3:40:37 PM | I wonder the same thing. I met a guy on here and we dated for a few months I was truly falling for him and he said he had feelings too and all the same crap and then the next day oh i think we should be friends.. Men are so totally confusing.. I am about to give up on them all | |
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