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| | How can men stop having feelings so quickly?Page 32 of 34 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34) | | I think women do that more often than men..... ok, just as often. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/6/2009 6:15:31 PM | Hi Hail,
You are so right about waiting to be intimate. If you hold off for a while, it keeps you judgment from being clouded and you will soon learn if they are really into you or just looking for a bed to share! | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/6/2009 6:36:47 PM | | Well, one thing this forum has done for me is let me know that I'm not the only one this has happened to. It doesn't ease the pain but it makes it a little more bearable to know that I'm not all alone. I'm so extremely confused at this point. I just don't know how it all happened or why....guess I never will | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/7/2009 1:51:31 PM | | I know what it is every body on this site seems to have only love of furniture on their minds. when the furniture breaks down you throw it out and get a new better one, I mean how many guys have been dumped for the bigger better deal? Imean womyn for the most part are materialists they expect men to pay for them and if you refuse they refuse you a chance at their hart cause they are drivin by emotinal secruity which means if you have the money in your pocket then they will stay. So I can totally understand how a man can stop feeling, he just found something himself a bigger better deal. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/7/2009 2:48:00 PM | Oh and icemenace don't worry because I know most girls wouldn't date you, you look like a grandma.........so girls nature has taken care of that one | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/7/2009 3:28:34 PM | I don't know about all other men, but I'll say this to you:
First, what you just said is basically what my ex wife did to me. She even wrote me a letter just weeks prior to her surprise divorce filing that talked about how important our marriage was, how committed she was to it no matter what, etc, etc, blah blah blah. The week she graduated college she had me served with divorce papers - right before Christmas, right before our 10th anniversary.
Second, I have never, ever said "I care for you" or "I love you" one day and then contradict that the very next. Men in general say what they mean and don't have much (if any) underlying meaning, which is what women in general tend to think. I don't know your situation and what's happened but I can tell you that if a guy is acting like you say he's acting, only two things could be the issue: one, he's got emotional issues, or two, you are a very difficult person for him to deal with, so giving up may seem a better out (not saying this is the case, I'm just being honest).
Third, the statistics today show that 75% of all divorces today are filed for by women, not men. Like my ex, they move along much like what you were claiming men do - say "I love you" one minute and leave you the next. Men are not known for drama (ie the term "drama queen"), nor are they the gender known for being emotionally like roller coasters, as women are prone to be.
In conclusion, I have to say that if you have had this experience with a man, where he genuinely is the one behaving erratically emotionally, then you have to know that this is not the norm for guys. Guys have plenty of problems - trust me, I know. I have a daughter and I'd rather her stay single forever! However, the ones you mentioned aren't typical of a guy who is genuinely attached, rather, in my honest opinion, if you are not part of the "problem," and he isn't "emotionally unstable," then it sounds to me like you just may have a guy who isn't genuinely attached to you at all and may just be using you for other things, sex being the main one - which, sadly, is what a lot of guys are like. "Keep the fake relationship for the benefits." I'm a typical Pisces, however, so the physical connection is a part of the emotional connection, therefore sex isn't just sex to me. Most guys are not like this, however.
If you and he followed up his romantic words with some sensual quiet time, then I would be concerned about that. If he was turned down or you tried to alter any of his plans at or after that time, then you may have driven him away, where he claimed to "not care for you" anymore. If this is the case, then you should immediately dump his name and number and never allow him back into your life!
Don't know if any of this is helpful, but I can bet that the answers are right in front of you. Guys don't like things to change with their woman - when things do, they get very frustrated and unhappy. They also can't stand it when their woman tries to change them. If either of these things started happening in any capacity, it was probably enough for him to go elsewhere. Some men have lower limits than others, but I bet if you examine any recent changes you'll come up with something. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/7/2009 4:18:23 PM | I met someone about 6 yrs ago. We started off as friends and talked for about 3 months before finally meeting in person. We clicked from the first phone call. We finished each other sentences. We told each other how much we cared, how we should have married each other in another life time. How we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. Blah, Blah, Blah...know what? This man turned out to be a Narcisistic person. In order to make this relationship work, he wanted me to get rid of everything from my past. Anything my husband ever brought me. (By the way, my husband is deceased). He wanted me to not socialize at all with any of our friends. He just wanted me to be by myself. Always telling me how much I cared for him, how he had me 100%, how I could never live without him. You see it was either his way or no way. One day he got upset with me because I have friends who helped me move. Know what this man said to me who supposedly love me so much and wanted a life with me? It's over! As long as you have anything to do with your husbands friends, family, etc I'm done! I ask him why are you doing this to me? I tried calling him, emailing him, nothing just going into voicemail. One say, he writes to tell me, that I was reading more into our relationship that was there. I thought, who is this person. We helped each other through very rough times. I was there when his mom died, his dad was sick, etc. I even helped him financially. To make a long story short...I was told by him not to call him, it was over and not to be mad, just go away. This was 6 years of a man telling me how deeply he cared for me and wanted to be with me so much. What a joke! And, according to him, he also said it will never be over! Go figure me out!  | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/7/2009 5:44:02 PM | | One thing that really comes out loud and clear if you spend time reading all of the posts is that everyone is different, with different backgrounds, expectations, needs, and desires. I'm still carrying a torch for a lady I broke up with FORTY YEARS AGO. Talk about F'd up! Sometimes its the guys who dump the girls. Sometimes its the girls who dump the guys. Either way, it hurts someone. If you roll the dice 10 times, sometimes you'll get ten snakeeyes in a row. It's just life. And sometimes it ain't fair. Here I am, still longing for the love of my life. Hopefully she'll arrive before I'm pushing up daisys. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/7/2009 6:22:15 PM | | i had that same problem. i can tell you one thing though. heres a little advice. a man likes to cuddle and all that. he loves it when his girl holds his hand out of the blue or kisses him out of the blue and he really loves it when his girl talks to him. when a girl stops paying attention or doesnt show enough interest or doesnt talk, answer calls or texts. overtime all of that gets to the guy and he begins to lose feelings for you. im telling you the biggest mistake that most girls make, when you say im busy cant talk and hang up and dont answer for hours or days. and when you flip out for no reason. its not fast. men do not show the feelings after a break up. well i am the guy that does show feelings. yes i cry for days depending on how long the relationship was. i have a very hard time with break ups. a guy doesnt normally get over a girl after a break up for 3 to 4 months, but to keep from feeling that horrible feeling of breaking up that guy will go out and do whatever he can to keep that feeling away from him. he will also be mean to you just so he can have a reason to get over you. i dont know how much this helps but if it does you can mesage me back. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/7/2009 6:25:46 PM | | lol and that first sentence made me sound gay. im not gay. i just got out of a 2 year relationship and almost marriage. well for about 2 months she starting talking less and less and wouldnt answer or call me. and then it happened. she lef tme. just like that, no reason no explanations. gone. so now im looking for a girl who can actually love me, care about me and heal my broken heart, i have had it for 4 months. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/7/2009 7:55:00 PM | | Women to cuddle, stroke your egos, tell you how wonderful you are and were does it get us? The major of men out there want their cake and eat it too. If I commit to someone I give 100% but I expect it back also. I won't settle for less. To tell someone you love, care, have only feelings for them and then the next time they call or email and say they don't know how they feel, then it's time to say bye, bye. Its all a game. Why can't men and women just say...I'm not into you or better still be honest and at least tell the person. Why just stop calling, texting, emailing. To me that's the cowards way out. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/7/2009 8:34:03 PM | Good story about this whole subject....
The last relationship I was in could be the beginning of this thread, except I suppose I would be the bad guy...sort of.
I started dating a girl (from this site actually). We hung out and just dated for about a month and a half. I liked her a little but not a lot. If I had to say from the very beginning whether it would work on not, I would have said no. However, we got along all right (and the sex was great) so we kept seeing each other. After 3 weeks she wanted a relationship and I am never ready that soon. I just feel that it takes more time to build a foundation. Well after 3 more weeks of her playing the guilt trip about me not asking her out, I finally decided to tell her I didn't want to see her anymore. I went to her house to tell her that, but instead she practically begged me to just give it a shot and see where it went. I caved in even though I should have ended it there.
2 months later I finally broke up with her. YES, I did it face to face and explained my reasons so you can't be mad at me for doing it the wrong way. However, she got mad anyway even though she knew as well as I that it wasn't going anywhere. She said I was an idiot for not trying to work through it. I did everything with 100% respect yet I still ended up feeling like a villian. I think that is why most people take the easy way out and just cut off contact. It is hard to break up with someone b/c no matter what you will be the bad guy (or girl). | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/8/2009 2:54:19 PM | Well, this sounds like something that happened to me, but with a woman. The breakup was 1 month ago, and I STILL feel like crap! So I guess that I'm not a "normal" guy. In fact, most of my "relationships" have only lasted about 2 months. Doesn't matter if sex was ever part of it. The big problem is I never found out WHY I was dumped! (one was my fault, but I was in high school and looking back, what I did was really stupid!!!) This last one, however, makes me want to medically "remove" my sex drive so I don't have to go through any of this again. (and no, I'm not gay!!)
So it isn't just men. Women (at least the ones I have "experienced") do this too! And some men can look at things and say "oh well" and move on, ... and some can't. I would say that the men that you (OP) have "experienced", are just conceited asshats that will hopefully wind up being fed there feet someday!!
I know I wouldn't do that to you!! Good relationships take work, honesty, compassion, communication (most important! and not the yelling kind!) and understanding. Without that, it is going to fail! Also, the "90210 syndrome" doesn't help with making relationships work!
Just my .0002 cents. Good luck with repairing your heart!!  | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/8/2009 8:14:28 PM | Because anger is the trained form of acceptable male emotions, men can't be weak, if a man show any signs of weakness like hurt, other men will tear him down for it, and be called a whimp, or teased about being a girl about it. All guys have just as a hard time with break ups, but we can't show it.
Anger is a secondary emotion, hurt is one of the primarily emotions, getting anger does make things worse, but let me ask you this, what guy has been raised properly to talk about their emotions. I'm gay, and because of so, I can break this form of emotional restriction. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/22/2009 9:31:16 PM | | That's a good question. my bf broke up with me 6 mos ago because I kept letting my daughter, her bf and her 2 kids move in with me not work and drive me crazy. He told me he couldn't take it anymore. Watching keep doing it over and over again and she just keeps manipulating, lying, stealing and never appreciated anything I did for them. I would end up heartbroken and depressed and he would cheer me up and then I'd let them move in again. I know He was right and I am practicing "tough love" now and for the past 4 mos. He started seeing someone with alot of baggage(On prob. for dv, still married, has 4 kids, 9-13-16-17yrs of age, and she is an alcoholic)way more problems than I had right? Do men think with there penis or do they just not care like we do? He says he still loves me and I tell him I still love him and we should be together. He was calling me everyday and then she saw my number on his phone and called me to tell me she would f me up. He told her to leave and she said "evict me". Then she begged, cried and got drunk(she's a basket case)anyway he let her stay. I can't believe he is with someone else. I know he loves me and he says he loves her too! Bull!!! You don't meet a stranger 2 weeks after you break up with your gf of 3 yrs and poof!! your in love. I really am confused and hurting. I still think we belong together. Am I crazy? | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/22/2009 10:29:30 PM | easy'' some relationships are based on love at first site its true at first your beutiful the whole 9yrs but ask yourself does a guy like to argue? most men dont discus things yes! argue forget it this causes the first door to close, and a new one to open to yo being a c-bomb forgive me or b----h i cant stand her deal. i gota get away from her so think before the arguement discuss and his heart is sure to be yours, how do i know!? years of being married now devorced and doing what your doing right now trying to find that someone or soul that makes us complete. take care | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/22/2009 10:41:18 PM | | Not all men are like that. my fiance left me a few months ago and i still have feelings for her even though she is with a new guy... how ever it kills me to see her with someone else.... but like i said not all men are like that | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/22/2009 11:53:38 PM | | hey.. I'm going through the same thing... but we're remaining 'friends'.. in my experience.. he tells you what he needs to.. to help you move on... I still see hurt and love in his eyes... but he'd never admit it. Love is hard, and sometimes its not because he doesn't love you.. sometimes its because he just can't see what the future holds... and with that.. its hard to see a future with his significant other. A lot comes from fear... a lot of it comes from a random feeling of unhappiness.. whether that be with their life or your relationship.. in the end.. a change usually needs to happen... and I find that it usually results in changing a relationship and breaking up... whether or not that was the issue to begin with. People need to figure out what they want in life... and that usually happens on their own... and not with a significant other. Unfortunately unnecessary break-ups occur because of it. Sorry to hear of your loss! | |
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Dove64
| | Joined: 5/18/2009
Msg: 796 | |
| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/23/2009 1:06:35 AM | That exact thing happened to me 6 weeks ago. On the friday he bought me flowers, told me he loved me then next day he said he was sorry and moved out and haven't heard a word from him since. I do believe that our relationship was great although he was living away from his kids who he missed very much so I'm putting it down to that but I really would have liked to have known why... guess I never will but I'm not going running after him cos I never want that to happen again.
I thought I understood men but not sure I do anymore. Perhaps he is regretting leaving now? I can't dwell on the past and don't want to be with someone who doesnt want to be with me...... I have had to get out there and make new friends and I am starting to go again as a 'single' which believe me is hard but enjoyable. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/23/2009 8:17:50 PM | | it realy depends on the person in all honesty, I myself can stop feeling easlily but I have been betrayed bye almost every single person ive known many others have experianced the same and cut off emotion to protect themselves from being hurt again and again, however to cut off all emotion enusures that one with never be happy wether they realize it or not .I am proof of that senerio. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/23/2009 9:43:44 PM | | Well it depends on the man from my own personal experience if the man is hurt enough and theres another woman there for him its quiet easy to move on. Some just hide there emotions and pretend to be moving on. Others just sleep around and figure loves to hard anymore. You really can't group all men as a single entity were all very different from one another. But the bottom line is if some one can say bye break up and be done with you for good then I'd question if they really had feelings for you... | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/23/2009 10:11:35 PM | Well, I can't speak for men, since I am not one, but I can speak for "heartless ****es" since that is what I was called by my last boyfriend.
We were together for a year and a half, but we decided to mutually end it. The next day he is crying to me telling me he wants me back and it was hard for me to see him like that, but I was pretty stoic about the whole thing. To me, once a decision is made and it is final, there is no point in moping about it. I understand the feelings of loss and hurt, but if you dwell on those feelings, they don't get any better they just make you miserble. When I am feeling depressed about something, I try to do other things: watch tv, call a friend, go online. I don't LET myself crumble, not even a little. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/24/2009 4:05:48 AM | Men just hide it better. I got out of a long term relationship in 2006 and I think i'm finally ready to get back into something serious.
Some days it still affects me though but I moved on. | |
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