| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/24/2009 4:05:48 AM | Men just hide it better. I got out of a long term relationship in 2006 and I think i'm finally ready to get back into something serious.
Some days it still affects me though but I moved on. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/24/2009 11:24:16 AM | Well, I'm a woman and I can detach easily from relationships. I suppose it has more to do with one's conditioning in attachment bonds than anything else.
I just don't see what there is to hang onto? I mean if someone doesn't love you, you move on. That IS what romance and romantic relationships are about , right? Love?
It's always disappointing and sad when someone betrays me or violates my trust or demonstrates that their love for me doesn't run very deep but when that happens , it's best to just move forward...it's not like you can change them.
There are no guarantees. I guess I've learned not to fully rely on any one person to be my "life" since that person would hold all of the power over me, something I do not consider a wise choice to make for an adult female with responsibilities.
I just wanted to make sure that it wasn't viewed as just a "male" disposition. I too do not attach easily and I don't have a hard time letting go. I value my sanity too much not to. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/24/2009 12:45:58 PM | | Well frivilous relationships are easy to get over, its the ones you have invested time, energy, money, emotions and your heart are the ones you really never ever get over. It cuts both ways, my expeience is the 2 women I was involved with over the last several years sent me a freaking e mail and then no contact. Which is why in my profile upfront I am honest in my opening paragraph. When these 2 women after telling me how much they loved me and wanted to spend their lives with me split I was confused and really hurt. But a door closes and GOD opens another and we move on. Makeup sex is always the best and no breakups are not easy for real men with real emotions, only immature men who are out to score and have it their way or the highway and never truly committed their heart & soul to a relationship are not worth the bother, same for women. In 2-3 years from now you will try to remember his name after you meet the right one and won't, time heals all wounds. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/25/2009 9:12:57 AM | | Men know better than most females how to deal with rejection, controling their feelings, and getting over someone because of them more frequently being rejected, among many other factors! | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/25/2009 9:29:18 AM | Dear Beloved,
I am sorry that you are hurting.
My feelings on the subject is easy. Women, most of us, love hard and we are emotional creatures. We put our all into the relationship.
Whereas, Men, a large majority of them, put there private parts into everything.
In short, they think with a different head than we do.....
Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back out there. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/25/2009 9:44:40 AM | | they dont , stop thinking about you , just to stuborn to act on it before its to late , after my divorce ( which i didnt want ) i thought about it everyday for years . most times its how you break up that has a bearing on how men react . | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/25/2009 10:25:21 AM | I don't get it. Do you really think there is a difference in how a man can completely lose feelings and find it easier to break up then a woman would? NOT TRUE! Just another very bad generalization based on gender.
Love knows no gender, feelings knows no gender. Both genders can... and do feel as deeply as the other.
So for me the question should have been: How can ANYONE stop having feelings so quickly?
I was in a 4 year relationship that I gave my all to. I accepted things, put up with things, compromised on way to many things. More then most men would have the heart to do. Why???? So simple...I was in love. And the relationship meant more to me then it did to her.
It was her that ended it as if nothing we shared meant anything.
So should I be asking a silly question like how a woman can tell a man she loves him, that he is the most important person in her life, and then over the smallest of issues break it off and not look back? The answer is it goes both ways...man or woman.
And then if you think about it, it was not "one day" It took time for feelings to get deep. It also took time for her issues to build and things to come to a head to finally say, "I've had it"
True, it seems like over night,, but it wasn't. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/25/2009 12:50:50 PM | i am so in agreement with GentlemanJim4one!!
love has no gender, neither does heartbreak. it saddens me to read of the gender war always going on in the posts. we are all individuals, we all experience and react to situations in our own way. our reactions have more to do with personal history and emotional maturity than gender. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 6/1/2009 12:45:47 PM |
Because they never meant what they said
Could be true for a man or a woman. But in reality, I think what seems like losing feelings so quickly is really something that was heading that way for a long time before the door is slammed in your face. You just did'nt see it coming because you wanted it to work. Love is blind. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 6/1/2009 2:23:36 PM | Here's the deal with me at least.
My last breakup - broke me down bad.
Although I didn't call her, or e mail I knew I had to get on with the moving along process.
We did say we'd be friends, and actually tried hanging out a few times.
After the second time just hanging out I realized I couldn't do it unless we would get back together, and it stung in the old familiar places again.
So I put up my icy walled exterior, and cynical comments toward feeling good about being with her or anyone for a while.
What I am saying is that it wasn't easy for me to move on, she was a great friend but i had to get away before I tore myself apart. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 6/2/2009 6:25:10 AM | | My ex is like that. one day she says I love you and the next day is the 3 years we spent together was nothing and she shows nothing. It's not just men who do that. Just because they don't show feelings that doesn't mean they don't have them. Some people just react that way. Move on | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 6/2/2009 11:31:27 AM | From my experience, well being a dude. We technically don't forget. At first it may seem we have completly blocked you out of our minds, but you'd be surprised at how much we actually do think about you, even though we don't express it. Also take into consideration the level of the argument, you may have really pissed him off and he associated all the other arguments you may of had in the past with that argument also. Give him a couple of days to cool off then approach him again. I'm pretty sure both of you will be open to the possibility of being together again and on the plus side he'll appreciate your commitment towards the relationship.
Break-ups nowadays arn't that easy on men. Also there is a fine line between being a man and being a boy. Women should realize what they are going into before making a commitment, otherwords you could end up with a boy and you'll be writing things like "how can men stop having feelings so quickly?" | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 6/2/2009 11:52:26 AM | | There are definately some men who are like this., probably ladies too. As hard as it is to understand, that is just the situation and we are better just letting them go. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 6/3/2009 1:12:37 AM | Break ups are easy, its the rest of your damn flippin life that you piece together.
Its like a light switch, theres on, theres off, if its done, then lets get it over with. Want a guy to have ever lasting feelings for you? Break up with him for no apparent reason and go back to your ex. DAMHIK | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 6/3/2009 3:51:32 PM |  sorry to hear that about you  & no not all men dont have feelings & dont know how to show em, but you right most men IKNOW are like that. but for these two  men, it feel like its you find break ups sort of i think. Well it been like that for these 2goodmen  for a good are u that good if so     for YOU. from Jim & Wallace  for putting a bit of a babe xxoo | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 6/10/2009 6:15:14 PM | Sweet Border Cop,
Now, I cannot speak for other men, as I am myself standing alone, but please understand that men DO having feelings, men DO have a heart, but I think where the problem lies, is that THE Male Ego, can force us to escape that corner that she has us in.
As for feelings, we do get hurt, and I see where it is the female that takes up with another man ASAP and men (again, I can only speak for myself) take time to repair that male, too, we do have hearts, just as you do, and they do get broken.
By the time that the male commits to a relationship, it seems (again, I can only speak for myself) that the female changes in the way that she treats a man and feels as if she can test every boundary that is known to all humankind
I still have a warm place in my heart for my ex, and we have been apart now since 1980. I do not whatsoever wish her harm, wish that something bad happens to her, or any ill-thoughts, she will always have that special place in my heart... | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 6/11/2009 2:08:28 PM | I'll give a another perspective, some guys just tend to bottle things up and don't tell the girl until it's completely over. At which point the girl feels completely devestated.
This is me in a nutshell and I know it's a terrible thing to do, and I need to be alone for a long long time to fix this in me. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 6/11/2009 2:32:19 PM | | I feel that is untrue. It was totally oposit with my last wife. She fell out of love with me so fast and she was the one that cheated on me and broke the marage up. It has been 2 years now since she did that and one year since divorce. I still have string feelings for her but she lost all she had for me. And I cant figure out why. You all would not beleive what I had done for her to have this happen to me. So I guess it works both ways... | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 6/11/2009 8:30:58 PM | It's not only men but some women can easily move on. After a break-up we need to time to heal, men on the other hand jump into another relationship because they don't know how to deal with the feelings. They are brought up to be strong, can't show any emotions which is the wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's important to heal before you get involved with someone else. You are only hurting yourself if you jump from one relationship to the next without healing. Men have a harder time being single for longer periods of time then women do. I know men who have gone from one relationship to the next and have continued to have failed relationships. If they do have somewhat of a successful relationship they haven't been honest with themselves they just tend to hide there feelings more. They can't show weaknesses.
Men who give us mix messages are ***holeS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We need to heal it's very important in building a positive relationship with someone else.
Blaze1972
Youth Worker | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 6/11/2009 8:45:24 PM | | I am just as baffled! I was involved with a guy for 7 months ( actually 3 years but we dated for 7 months), we did the dinner thing, planned a trip for the end of the year to a hideaway cabin in the Colorado mountains for a week, spent the weekends together, wanted to take me on a spring Saturday afternoon to the Botanical Gardens ( what guy DOES THAT? ) since I'd never been, would just look at me in a way that would turn my insides to jelly, then do a complete 180 and tell me he's spent those 7 months trying to make himself feel something for me and just doesnt...now it's as if I never existed to him...haven't heard a peep out of him for over a month! What's up with that???? | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/14/2009 10:25:32 AM | As a man, and someone who has had his heart broken several times I can tell you that men hide their true feelings because they are percieved as less of a man when they show emotions. I know women who are always telling their men to show how they feel, but the thing is as soon as a man does this the woman will begin to lose respect for him and percieve him as weak, unmannly. So men are programed from early on to hide their emotions. The only safe ones men can show among women are happy and horny which explains why men are so f***ed up. The truth is that men cannot just turn off their feelings in one day. If they really don't feel anything after a breakup then they never felt anything in the first place.
Thanks for letting me share. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/14/2009 10:47:50 AM |
I can tell you that men hide their true feelings because they are percieved as less of a man when they show emotions. I know women who are always telling their men to show how they feel, but the thing is as soon as a man does this the woman will begin to lose respect for him and percieve him as weak, unmannly
Men say this a lot. I have never seen it in action--have you really EXPERIENCED this, or do you just go with the common thought about it?
One of the sweetest things in the world to see is a man with his new baby. If that's not emotinoal, what is? There is not a woman uot there who would think a man who loves his kid that much is "less manly". I'm sorry, it just doesn't happen.
Stop buying into what OTHER men tell you, and instead just feel what you need to feel. | |
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