| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/2/2008 6:29:59 PM | I ask my self the same question on how men do that. I wish it was that easy for us women. Most men just blow it off like nothing ever happen. It drives me nuts. I have met a few tho that doesnt act this way. They atcually care that the realationship is over.  | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/2/2008 6:36:09 PM | IT IS NOT JUST MEN IT IS NOT JUST MEN IT IS NOT JUST MEN IT IS NOT JUST MEN IT IS NOT JUST MEN IT IS NOT JUST MEN IT IS NOT JUST MEN IT IS NOT JUST MEN IT IS NOT JUST MEN IT IS NOT JUST MEN IT IS NOT JUST MEN IT IS NOT JUST MEN IT IS NOT JUST MEN IT IS NOT JUST MEN IT IS NOT JUST MEN IT IS NOT JUST MEN IT IS NOT JUST MEN IT IS NOT JUST MEN IT IS NOT JUST MEN IT IS NOT JUST MEN IT IS NOT JUST MEN IT IS NOT JUST MEN IT IS NOT JUST MEN IT IS NOT JUST MEN PERIOD.
Both sexes are equally capable of being callous and cold hearted. Both sexes can walk away from a relationship. It has everything to do with the person and nothing to do with the genitals. PERIODPERIODPERIOD | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/2/2008 8:38:05 PM | | I forget which one but a few years ago I read in a magazine that guys dont show it but they take longer to get over a breakup. And women show it but get over it quicker. I dont know if theres any truth to it though. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/2/2008 10:00:29 PM |
Msg: 65 -- If someone is telling you they care about you or love you one day and the next day you have an argument and break up....to me that says they were not being truthful the day they told you they loved you.
This is NOT necessarily true. As this applies to me PERSONALLY, this argument MAY have displayed a Red Flag from my SO. I have developed a DELIBERATELY cultured reflex against these Red Flags that will cause me to terminate the relationship without recourse in SPITE of my feelings toward her.
The "NEXT" button has become at once my best friend and worst enemy in situations such as this. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/2/2008 10:09:15 PM | Sweety, it is all about who cared the most... Women who care the most, have the hardest time disconnecting... Men who care the most have a hard time disconnecting...
To say it is just a man thing I think really is incorrect, and forgive me if this is a repeat I just didn't have the time to read all what 6 pages...
Some people do have the ability to shut out the hurt and move on like you didn't even exist... I have read threads from men saying the same sad song about the pain, and how could she discard me and use like that?
BE GLAD, despite the hurt you feel, that you can feel deeply, and love like you do... Yes it hurts like hell, but when you love, the amount of love and devotion is immeasurable. Hopefully one day you will find that man that can love you with just as much devotion...
I know sometimes people don't always find that love mate, but as long as YOU ALWAYS believe that that kind of love and devotion exists....There is always hope...
Good luck sweet girl... | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/2/2008 10:11:26 PM |
Msg: 68 -- Surely you've heard the phrase 'boys don't cry'?
I cry. I cry HARD, and sometimes for hours at a time. BUT, I do so in PRIVATE. No one has SEEN me cry in decades. My private turmoil belongs to me and me alone. This is something I share with NO ONE. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/2/2008 10:29:15 PM |
Msg: 84 -- "Why men love ****es" by Sherry Argov.
HMPH!!!! "Why men love b1tches"? Newsflash, I HATE b1tches. "B1TCH" is the FIRST Red Flag on my list! | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/2/2008 10:48:53 PM | | How many more advantages do you women want? Come on guys don't suck ass and explain yourselfs. Im not being macho or whatever but woman have wanted us to be real with them for ages. And now that times are much more different and women in general are more educated with more rights Realism isn't good enough for you'all. I'm sorry early lesson my "MOTHER" taught me. quote"Son love hurts but you will not Die from it"unquote. Ladies it has nothing to do with us not being able to show our feelings or not wanting to. trust me we have hearts too we are human. But someone has to maintain a backbone. How would the world be if we broke down for every hurt emotion caused to us and dwelled on it for months or years. And if we didn't ticker the way we do how long would it be before women decided to move on. Everything needs a balance in this world quit trying to analyze the other gender to the bone. It is what it is. Lets jus find a way to meet halfway alright. 50/50 | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/2/2008 10:59:05 PM |
Msg: 101 -- Most men just blow it off like nothing ever happen.
I blow it off and PRETEND as if nothing ever happened. There IS a HUGE difference.
It drives me nuts. I have met a few tho that doesnt act this way. They atcually care that the realationship is over.
I am one who DOES care. BUT, I care MORE for my emotional health. For THIS reason ALONE, I have developed in myself a "DETACH" REFLEX which supercedes any emotional involvement I may have in the current defective relationship in which I may be involved. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/2/2008 11:13:53 PM |
Msg: 105 -- Men who care the most have a hard time disconnecting...
In my case, this is not correct. I disconnect quickly and easily upon presentation of a Red Flag.
I may GRIEVE for SEVERAL months afterwards, but the disconnect is AUTOMATIC. I deliberately sculptured my response in this way.
OK, after thinking about it, the PAIN involved with the disconnect is EXCRUCIATING, but I choose to keep that private, not up for open discussion. It is a PRIVATE, PERSONAL agony that NO ONE will EVER be privy to.
The disconnect is personal, private, and PERMANENT. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/2/2008 11:25:52 PM | It sounds like you have had a pretty rough time of things stargazer.. like really. I am sorry you got it as bad as you did but I think it is only fair that people receive warning if you are going to leave them. When you Automatically Disconnect you are bringing your SO the same pain that you are trying to avoid. As an adult the courteous thing to do would be to explain "Look, this happened, it brought back painful memories/ raised a red flag/ changed my opinion of you and for this reason I must move on."
Stone cold disconnect is breaking hearts to keep yours secure. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/2/2008 11:46:05 PM | Sorry if this is redundant but I am not reading 5 pages. If you are having so much trouble it is because of two things. You are not remembering the *sshole that would do this to you, the bad qualities in the man, but the idealized image that you have from when times were good.
You are mourning the loss of what could have been instead of what was. Even if this was supposedly the only time he was not decent do you, does this jibe with the guy you fell in love with? I imagine that he would not have frozen you out. It is harder when you thought you found the right guy but you need to recognize that he is not it.
So your problem is not him turning off his feelings it is your failure to recognize that this man is not good enough for you and YOU do not want HIM. Once you get your brain around that and see him for who he is rather than what you made him, you will be fine. | |
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T474T
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Joined: 3/10/2008
Msg: 114 | |
| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/3/2008 12:02:20 AM | its all about his**** and if something more or better comes along. They only say they care to f**k you then drop you.
Some hard lessons I had!!!!!!!!!!!!
never trust them!! | |
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T474T
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Joined: 3/10/2008
Msg: 115 | |
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T474T
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Joined: 3/10/2008
Msg: 116 | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/3/2008 12:07:24 AM |
its all about his**** and if something more or better comes along. They only say they care to f**k you then drop you.
Some hard lessons I had!!!!!!!!!!!!
never trust them!!
msg 102. Get a grip, your ONE OF THEM!! Stop trying to pin it on the woman!!!
I am not going to defend myself because I dont have to.
I suggest you take that rightous judgement of yours and direct it towards yourself.
never trust them!! And I am the one pinning it to the opposite sex. Please lady.... | |
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utahpj
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Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 118 | |
| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/3/2008 12:18:18 AM | | ok so men hide thier feelings. but you break thier heart and they cry, you may not see it or hear about it. but they do. only so much one person can take. it sounds to me like the women who question themselves about mens feelings are either with a man that has none and are just being used, or were with a guy who goes by the famous saying the best way to get over someone is to get under a new one. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/3/2008 12:34:45 AM | | just to let you know its the same with woman....one day they tell you they love you and the next day they.....break up with you......and act like they could care less.... | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/3/2008 12:53:38 AM | calamitygray: msg 113
t474t: msgs. #114-116
Ladies, all I can say is, those were some very well thought out, in-depth and lucid arguments. Good job.
Naaaaah, I was just kidding. Your statements actually portray you as bitter, jaded and biased. Sorry for your pain and whoever caused it.....but it wasn't me (just a random guy). Have a great, happy, fruitful and joyful life.
~ds~ | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/3/2008 12:55:01 AM |
Msg: 105 -- To say it is just a man thing I think really is incorrect, and forgive me if this is a repeat I just didn't have the time to read all what 6 pages...
Trust me, you missed virtually NOTHING. "Man vs Woman", "Woman vs Man", same OLD argument about Long-Term Relationships and why they do not last.
OK, this thread is REFINED in some ODD attempt at understanding WHY men seem to have premature feelings of affection as opposed to why some women do NOT.
Personally, I view the masculine and feminine plane to be on the SAME scope, one searching the other for compatibility. FAR TOO OFTEN, and I consider myself to be among the ACCUSED, compatibility is FAR to often PRESUMED, WITHOUT any basis in fact.
MY RESPONSE: I BAIL! I simply REFUSE to be responsible for another's happiness unless it DIRECTLY involves my OWN! | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/3/2008 1:24:53 AM |
Naaaaah, I was just kidding. Your statements actually portray you as bitter, jaded and biased. Sorry for your pain and whoever caused it.....but it wasn't me
Thanks, David. I appreciate your honesty. This subject seems to have attracted the anger in the women responding. IT WASN'T ME! | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/3/2008 1:45:17 AM |
Msg: 111 -- Stone cold disconnect is breaking hearts to keep yours secure.
Your argument is valid, but I won't pursue it. This is the way I deal with MY PAIN. It is the way I have trained myself and I won't break from it until and unless I find a better way. So far, nothing as effective as this has reached my attention.
If you have a better way, I am open to suggestions. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/3/2008 2:04:55 AM | This generalised statement just isn't true, OP. What one woman complains about not getting another will complain if she gets.
When you're with a man who doesn't express his feelings you're with a person who doesn't express their feelings. I see exactly the same thing with women - particular female 'players' who don't regard themselves as 'players'. They want to be completely in control of the situation and perhaps some men do too.
Sometimes people will walk away when they realise they've become too attached too early - ie they've just emotionally set themselves up for a really big onset of depression and decide to leave the scene before it gets worse. About a year ago I dropped a lady because I was too attached and it was obvious she wasn't attached at all - in fact she walked around semi-naked in front of her ex b/f who she shared a flat with and it dawned on me she wasn't actually ever going to be 'attached' to anyone, she was just so laid back it was nice to be around but gave nothing to emotionally 'link' to.
Every individual is different - if you can find someone who comes 80% of the way to expressing their emotions etc in tandem with you you've done really well.
Thinking it's 'men' is the wrong kind of thinking. It's people. | |
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