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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/9/2008 9:25:09 AM | | Personally I disagree, I think it takes a longer time for a man to become emotionally attached (unless he's on the rebound), its all about reliance. Women are on the whole more self reliant than men and are definitely stronger in the long term. As someone who has never been unfaithful but let down in the past, I ask myself (as do many men) the very same question about women? | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/9/2008 12:04:10 PM | I had feelings whenever my car died. I formed a very strong bond with the engine block; the brake linings; the sway bars; the steering linkage...I better stop now...I'm tearing up  | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/9/2008 1:02:34 PM | i dont take break ups very easily at all, i bottle it all up .
the women ive been with appeared to take the break up in their stride and had no apparent worries about it all, i was the one everytime in tears and in pain.
i could just as easily say " why do some women find it so easy to split up with no worries " ??????????????????????????????????????? | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/9/2008 1:11:35 PM | compactdisc you hit the nail on the head!!!!
In all my experience and all the breakups I have had. It's the women that has been the one that has completely detached from any sort of feelings at all whilst ive been left to suffer
sorry i had to get my oar in
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/9/2008 6:46:10 PM | I am almost 70 yrs old and I wish I knew the answer to that one'' sadly a lot of them don't get any different as they age either.I have experienced it twice since I came on .P.O.F. boy oh boy.. he sure could talk pretty too..lies lies lies. yes' thats right. same one two times. no fool like an old fool.. how true | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/9/2008 7:00:50 PM |
I think realistically, while the feelings did not evaporate entirely, I realized I fell in love with someone that did not really exist so it is quite logical that I no longer had feelings for the man that really was.
I think women do this often. We assume someone is feeling what feel, having the same sense of responsibility, or seeing what we may contribute to the relationship. This may be due to men's tendency to "not share" their real feelings. Then down the road we find that we have fallen in love with someone we created, when the real person doesn't understand us, or how we see them The incongruence becomes friction. We feel jilted. It would be better if women didn't make the assumptions and if men would be more forthcoming. We would understand each other better. Ahhhhh but this wisdom does not come without significant pain. Losing an imaginary partner is almost harder...you start wondering what IS real around you. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/9/2008 7:18:00 PM | There are two aspects to this.
The first is that male or female makes no difference, it's all individual. Women walk away as easily or more so than men do.
The second issue is how men are socialized. No, we don't show our feelings openly as well as women do. If we have such an urge, it gets beaten out of us as we are told how "unmanly" it is. Then there's the fact that we are expected to be more self-sufficient than women are in all respects. First, we're told to be this way, then it gets held against us. Our feelings and needs are definitely there but get displaced and expressed in other ways. One guy may throw himself into his job, another into his car, another gets drunk and gets in a bar fight.. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/9/2008 7:54:52 PM | It amazes me how really naive people are in this world... and most definately here on POF.... The forums here are quite entertaining. Why are men like they are? Why are women like they are? Same o Samo lines....Because thats what makes us different from each other!!!!!!!!! ( ummmm and thats a good thing lol)
Thats what makes relationships what they friggin are. Guys do their thing... Girls do their thing. When they can share those precious moments that make them compatible then its good. But damn if it doesnt happen then it wasnt meant to be. You cant try to change someone into something you want them to be, cuz if you do then it no longer is them. It doesnt mean you did something wrong or he/she did something wrong it just means " It wasnt meant to be" Dont spend weeks, months, years analizing it and wondering why. There is a reason why... Everything Happens for a Reason. When you do find that "special one" remember... all that you went through to get there was for a purpose and you wouldnt have learned/known/comprehended what you do now if it wasnt for your past experiences. Ya, getting dump, cheated on, screwed over (all of the above) Sucks,,, but dont waste forever trying to figure out the "why" part of it.. look at yourself with confidence, the relationship that just past, your faults, his faults... then get on....to better things. BE HAPPY | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/9/2008 8:09:58 PM | | Sorry to say I know a lot of guys who can say the same thing about women. I don't think, in the end, its a "guy" thing. I think its just the sad part of human nature. I had woman in my life who referred to me as her boyfriend, to others, the day after we met. She brought up the wor d chemistry, she instigated affection, started planning what we could be doing, everything seemed to be wonderful. And then, came the second day...she wrote that she was in a funk, needed to put the brakes on, and asked me not to call her. I didn't. I did, though, a week later write her a polite, friendly letter. No response. Waited a week or so, and sent another letter. Same thing. She never was in touch again. Just appeared in my life, called me her boyfriend, then disappeared without a word. Sorry you went through what you went through. Please know, as I know there are truly ladies out there, that there are also true gentlemen. Don't give up. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/11/2008 3:00:00 AM | writerdad ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
i seem to get what you experienced with most of the women i have met on here.....it is THEY who are the ones who make out things are getting more serious , it is THEY who make things out to be a relationship and it is the woman who just ends it , just like that with no proper explanation................i just dont get it.
And it is always me that ends up broken hearted..........EVERYTIME.
When guys do this , all men get blamed and are branded something or another.
I have given up on dating or hoping to find a LTR , it just wont happen. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/11/2008 2:44:32 PM | TJand me, everyone should read this post thoroughly....you are right! Get past it quickly so you can find the real true partner. At this point, I don't even care why I was dumped (and I was last Friday) just throw out the cards he/she gave you, toss the photos and start over. Try to forget the name and everything. Of course, this is for the short relationships!
By the way, OP, any reason they give you is going to be a LIE, I hope you know that. People can be mean, but YOU don't have to be......sorry for your pain, but take care of yourself.
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/12/2008 1:27:52 AM | | been dumped by same bloke 3 times, yeah i took him back, turns out it was all lies, have decided to stay on my own now, bit drastic but least that way cant get hurt over and over again | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/12/2008 2:35:22 AM | I wish to oppose what Sweetbordercop says. I have been through a split-up where she said 'Our relationship is over. I think you'd better move out.' I did, what else could I do, but I loved her and still do, and I feel that love will stay. But she has not tried to contact me at all, and the last time I've heard about her, she was playing around. I admit that there was failings on both sides, but as I pointed out, love is not supposed to change your partner rather if you don't like something about the other person, then say so and try to work things out. And before you say, what about sex, there was plenty of it.
Women think they have the love game all on their sides, but I can assure you, you're wrong.  | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/12/2008 9:48:55 AM | | mine broke up with me and despite my many efforts to contact him, just to check and see how he's doing, he has yet to respond...and now Iound out that he's putting himself back on the chopping block again. we've only been broke up for less than a week...that pretty much tells me that either he just doesn't care or he didn't really love me as he once said | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/12/2008 9:54:48 AM | How can men stop having feelings so quickly?Maybe by getting their balls chopped off???? Oh, this is a rhetorical question. My bad. 
Now back to your regular PoF forum programming... | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/12/2008 8:46:47 PM | OK, wife of 14 years comes to you demanding a boyfriend, and she wants to wake up in the middle of the bed with 2 men.
Or is this considered getting over it far to quickly? | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/13/2008 6:08:08 PM | | Well since we live in the era of metrosexuals and androgynous females, I would have to say that I strive to be in balance with by female and male sides. I am now striving to "get over it" when my heart has been hurt. I feel I am quite successful at it and I am very proud of myself because I have incorporated more traites that are associated with "maleness" into my being. I am still very much a woman though. Back to the thread....these men you speak of are not exactly in touch with their feminine side and that is why they act the way they do. We all live our lives in compartments, I believe. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/14/2008 9:08:59 AM | It is because all men are pure evil. All male ancestors were just pure evil. Women are the only truely rational, well rounded beings in the universe.
It is a matter of conditioning and survival(before ww2 men who broke down in war were shot as cowards because they were shell shocked). It is part of genetic makeup. It is a false steryotype inflicted on men by bitter women who have no idea what they are talking about. It is because women set out to change men into something they think they want all the while lying to them about how much they love them. (Metrosexual men came about through these changes and now women don't want them and nor do men) It is because at least one person in a relationship needs to be able to use reason and logic and women are too flighty for that. It is because women don't show who they truely are until well into the relationship and the think the guy is hooked so when they do show who they are he knows enough to get out. ( if he loved you one day but not the next, he just saw the real you)
Gee these generalizations are fun. We can bash one another all day and night and never have to worry about life and truth et al. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/14/2008 9:26:43 AM | sweetbordercop .. I am right with you.
I don't think it' is always the fact they have stopped having feelings for you , they can just hide their feelings better.
I often wander if they are hurting inside as much as you are.
Maybe I'm wishful thinking. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/14/2008 9:27:12 AM | | The same thing could be said about women. men do not lose feelings overnight, it takes time for it to happen. he could have been lieing about loving you, or loves you still but does not want to be with you. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/14/2008 9:27:57 AM | | The same thing could be said about women. men do not lose feelings overnight, it takes time for it to happen. he could have been lieing about loving you, or loves you still but does not want to be with you. | |
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| How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/14/2008 9:28:52 AM | I too met a great guy here, he also talked of having a "long and happy life together" (his words). I really felt he was truthful and loved me as he said. It ended in one day and I still have no idea why. Now I realize that I need to be able to recognize the players and phoneys before getting too attached. You're not alone, just be careful and keep looking. Good luck.  | |
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