| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/3/2008 10:11:26 PM | I am either in 8th grade, or in a psychiatric unit for paranoid schizophrenics?
Look buddy, you may be here to pick up women, you may not be. You may be here to just watch human behavior, you may not be. You may be a female paraplegic, looking for a wheel chair, pretending to be a man, you may not be. You may get hit by a bus tomorrow and croak, you may not. But just because something negative MAY or MAY NOT happen, does not mean put your life on hold, or stop the study of other people, or not show interest in the things that interest you. If you are being honest with yourself about your intentions here, there should not be an issue. | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/3/2008 10:25:27 PM | Well... I like looking at profiles when responding in the forums...see who's saying what. But,. then again, I'm alone Being a forum junkie, I suppose I'll be here even if I hook-up...and I'll be looking @ profiles. I guess as long as I keep my letcherous, leering bad thoughts to myself, I'll be ok.   | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/3/2008 10:30:36 PM | The OP stated he surfs "other peoples' profiles". He doesn't specifically state that he surfs womens profiles.
I work overnights, and perusing the forums, I will look at a persons' profile if I see they posted something interesting, hilarious, or off-kilter. Not much else to do in the middle of the night.
BUT my SO knows I do this. I think that's the difference. I am not looking for the next best thing, I happen to HAVE the best thing. JMHO.  | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/3/2008 11:14:19 PM | | from the way your talking it doesnt sound like your doing it for any other reasons i do believe your honest.but the thing is your not bad for doing it but its a bad thing cause to your partner it could make her suspicious.cause its not often that a guy will browse profiles in a dating site just for the fun of it without ending up messaging someone or whatever.just out of respect for her i think u should put that hobby aside and find some other form of entertainment lol.by the way since your asking people here about it my guess is that you kinda know its the wrong thing to do. | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/4/2008 12:12:06 AM | OP,
Sounds like you are just "people watching" as some people do in malls but internet style...nothing wrong with that in my opinion. | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/4/2008 2:49:55 AM | | Personally speaking I don't see the point is checking out womens profiles if your in a relationship with a great lady. Would you want her still looking at other guys? I say be happy you have a great lady and stop the surfing. | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/4/2008 3:16:51 AM | | personally i wouldnt say so as long as u make urself perfectly clear ur in a relationship and not looking for anything there are alot of people on her just looking for people to be friends with and if that wasnt acceptable by the site it wouldnt have that option i suppose | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/4/2008 3:47:08 AM | | I think just asking this question of total strangers is "wrong". But why should you care if others think what you're doing is right or wrong? Gosh, the power we give to the morality police is stunning! They don't lay down beside us at night, they don't pay our bills, and they don't give a damn about us. | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/4/2008 4:47:26 AM | N O unless SHE thinks it is wrong... and IF she does? Then you can never LOOK at another woman ANYWHERE while she is your SO. Not your female coworkers, female bank teller, sales lady, whatever. No looking allowed.
This is yet another of "those" questions that I look at the majority of the responses to, and just shake my head. What is this world coming to... There is a simple reason that humans are THE most photographed object hands down. It is called Human Nature and I do not expect it to be changing anytime soon.
I have to wonder if a lot of folks, here anyway, just do not trust themselves? | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/4/2008 10:42:04 AM |
I have to wonder if a lot of folks, here anyway, just do not trust themselves?
A very poignant point. Do you trust yourself?
I have a great lady in my life too and I am only on here for the forum. My SO is aware that I am on here and has no problem with it. While it's true that she trusts me enough, I think most importantly it's that I trust myself enough. I know why I am on here and cheating doesn't even enter the mind.
In the end, the one person you have to answer to is yourself. | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/4/2008 10:45:08 AM | | I don't think it is bad of you. I just don't get it. How boring. There are much better forms of entertainment than looking at profiles on POF. I bet your gf wouldn't understand or like it. | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/4/2008 12:19:57 PM | OP,
Did you meet your gf here? Did she cancel her acct or is she still hanging around for the forums? | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/4/2008 12:24:10 PM | I don't think it is wrong, or bad of you, to surf profiles. To me it is the same as people watching at the mall, or restaurant, in public, without having to leave your home.
It's only wrong when you show them your penis. | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/4/2008 2:25:19 PM | I'm a message board reader and like to peruse the boards regularly. I also enjoy posting my thoughts. If I was with another like myself, I could certainly understand him pulling up someone's profile out of curiosity, because he was intrigued by what they posted. If, however, there is no particular reason for him to be pulling up various profiles and he's just "surfing profiles.." well, yeah. I would have a problem with that. I agree with the rest. It's the intention behind the action that matters.
If your partner has an issue with this behavior, it's that issue that should be predominantly on your mind along with her feelings about the issue. Your partner shouldn't be allowed to deal with her issues on her own. I think it's important to find out what she's feeling and why. Is she feeling insecure about something? Does she trust you? Are you trustworthy? Communicate... a lot. | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/5/2008 4:22:31 AM | What's wrong with surfing profiles? That's what they're there for!
How did this thread even get this far? | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/5/2008 7:44:37 AM | intention and consequence is/are everything..
if you are in any doubt.... why not share this activity with your partner... if she is bored with this silly idea... then you are just very sweet and harmless... i read the "Daily Mail" (UK's Nazi publication) sometimes - but that does not mean that i believe in hurting anyone or making them miserable... | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/5/2008 9:07:09 AM | my thoughts - if you really are just being a 'profile voyeur' :) then
1. why does your profile say this? "Just here for the forums now. I have my lady. Some new friends wouldn't hurt though." (implying you would not be closed to making new friends, which would require writing back or chatting...which you deny you do, so why put it there?)
2. why have you got a photo posted? again, seems unnecessary if you are not wanting even unconsciously to attract others....
3. why not hide your profile?
4. as others said, why have you got the age and gender restrictions you do? if you really are only viewing, then why not restrict everyone, so no one wastes their time trying to contact you??
5. have you got your settings set so no one can see you've viewed their profile? again, if not, then it's opening up that invitation again...since many check that out to see who might be interested in them.
6. if in a relationship, then why are you still on favorites lists?
only you can honestly answer these questions and i am just asking them to point out how the whole picture could be interepreted.....but mostly it has to be what you and your girlfriend feel comfortable with - it is her you need to ask and come to agreement with - whether that means you both join in this form of 'entertainment', or find another (activity...not girlfriend :). what we think doesn't really matter at all. | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/5/2008 9:10:00 AM | when he checks a womens profile out that woman pretty much believes hes interested!
I am not that naive. I don't think that just because someone clicked on my profile and viewed it that they're interested, lol. Until they actually contact me and express an interest then they were just some random stranger that looked at me.
I'm sorry, but I doubt that there is a woman anywhere who would feel at ease with that. Being "interested in what people say about themselves" is a load of crock.
I'm a woman and I am perfectly at ease with it. In fact the last guy I was dating would show me some of the profiles he was looking at for a laugh with me. Many people, including myself, are interested in psychology and studying people to understand what makes us tick. I enjoy reading male and female profiles to see how people view themselves and what they like to project.
if in a relationship, then why are you still on favorites lists?
Why not be on peoples favorites list? I have lots of females that have added me... I'm certainly not entertaining relatonships with them in the future. :) | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/5/2008 9:21:37 AM | ^^awww, come on sherilyn...in fact i was thinking more of the ones who have made him a favorite perhaps wanting to contact him....it's just making it clear he's really and utterly not available...that's all.
and, yes, i find people fascinating too....but i never thought of checking profiles as a study of humanity because aren't they just a bit biased in terms of people portraying what they think will sell themselves? i seem to get more insight into people by what they say here in the forums.....for those that write here.
but each to his own was the real point of my post - just my thoughts, that's all. if he was my boyfriend, trust would not be questioned....and i think i could come up with some other forms of 'entertainment'. | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/5/2008 9:32:34 AM | what you did not say that your female friend is complaining about this.
I can see why - - - women do not like a man that says that he is with her - - looking at all of the other women that are looking - - - really makes her wonder where the relationship sits.
would you want her to be checking out all of the other men - - that are looking - - - or not.
and we both know if she is not around - - you could respond to one - - - or if a bump in the relationship happens - - - you know of all of the options that you have - - - -
basically not right - - -
Jim P. | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/5/2008 9:37:09 AM | To address the concerns I have seen.
My girl knows I surf profiles. I am not looking for anything, or anyone. You have to put something in the blank for what you are looking for, and that is left over from before I met my GF. I have not contacted a single person since I started dating her. All I do is look at profiles. I find them interesting. Nothing more. Thanks to those who can understand that. I used to use this site to find dates BEFORE I met my current girl, so some of my profile is going to reflect that. I thought I had changed most of it to show plain and simple that I am here for the forums and not looking. Jeez, it seems like some of you folks are just here to bash others for your own entertainment. All I am doing is reading what you say about yourselves! | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/5/2008 9:44:45 AM | It's almost like you're fishing with-out bait since you don't really want to catch anything, you just want to enjoy the act of fishing.
Another example, I already have a pair of black dress shoes so when at the mall, I zip past all the shoe stores like a nascar driver. I don't have the urge to keep shopping.
Doesn't make sense to me, I would say if something better came along (great looking woman), that you jump at an opportunity. Hopefully I'm wrong, so nobody gets hurt.
All the best | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/5/2008 11:06:25 AM | | Here goes ! Is anyone content and happy with whom they have? Surfing curiosity be single if that is what u like to do ! Because its happening to me i am not the best looking or down right ugly! It does make me feel un wanted! which then leads me to question the honesty and truth from that person. now gets into trust issues! By the way any one interested in the player! djw0322 hes loves to text and look at peoples profiles! will he change probably not | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/5/2008 11:15:51 AM | | I guess in the philosphical sense there is nothing wrong with looking as long as you are not looking to find, but if my woman was surfing men's profiles I would have a very definite problem with it. It would give me the very definite impression that she is shopping around for something better. | |
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