| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/5/2008 8:27:17 PM |
I didn't condemn in my previous post anyway just told the poster he should ask his girlfriend if it was alright with her. I said those that jumped to conclusions! Those that condemned did so before finding out all the facts... | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/5/2008 8:41:44 PM | I'm happily married after 25 years, and also enjoy surfing the profiles of women and men, and reading the forums as well. My husband knows I visit this site and he has no problem with it, because he knows me well enough to realize I have no interest in meeting other men or doing anything to risk our marriage .
You have to remember there are many of us over 35 who didn't experience the dating sites when we were single.. there was no such thing! To those of us who aren't looking for a relationship, it's a fun, no-pressure way of seeing the dark side. And very often, it makes us appreciate what we have even more. | |
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| Is It Wrong to Surf Profiles?
Posted: 5/5/2008 8:42:53 PM | I guess it's the same as people watching. I don't think it is wrong if it doesn't hurt anyone. First do no harm.
Act :) | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/6/2008 6:26:48 AM | | It still comes down to the issue of trust between both partners..My SO and I laugh and talk about the threads here and some of the profiles, we both post on here, he knows that some idiot keeps adding me as a favorite and I keep removing him, I know that a female poster added him to her favorites cause she likes to read his posts....both of us trust each other completely about what each does on here...but we do not just surf profiles, what would be the reason for that? Yes again like I said we both will look at a profile to help us understand why someone would post something or give us a better advantage to reply, but that is the only reason!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/29/2008 3:40:38 AM |
OP: I am in a relationship with a great lady, but I still like to surf peoples' profiles. I just like to read what they say about themselves, and see the pictures they put up. I don't write any of them, as I am not looking for anything other than entertainment. Is this bad of me?
Just going by "how" you put it, I see nothing wrong with it. But, and this is the important part, you should have complete and open transparency.
If your partner feels you're hiding "anything" and tells you to stop, you either stop or be ready for neverending argument, mistrust, and probably an ultimate breakup (if the experiences I've heard about are any indication).
I've also seen a curious double-standard with behavior. Seems what's perfectly OK for one partner is frowned upon and cause of friction if the other copies it?
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/29/2008 3:56:22 AM | No, I don't think it is wrong to look for friends only, if you are already in a relationship especially since you stated you were just here for the Forums. However, if you are just surfing, why do you have a filter for just those that live in the USA?
I used to live in Chicago so I tend to look up USA residents as well esp since I am just looking for online friends. If you have a filter for US residents only, there is a subconscious plan to meet someone. Just an impression. | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/29/2008 5:31:51 AM | i think you should spend more time with your girlfriend instead of "surfing" profiles.
how would you feel if she was doing this as well? | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/29/2008 5:49:46 AM | | If you're just here for the forums, and look at the profiles of someone that commented with something that piqued your interest, then no harm, no foul. But if you are just randomly looking thru profiles to see people's pics, then yes, you might have an issue. Temptation is a slippery slope, so who's to say you wouldn't come across a profile of a woman you thought was a better alternative than the one you're with, especially if you two are having an off day. My opinion is you're asking for trouble. | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/29/2008 5:53:48 AM | if your seriously dating/commited, hmm
but if you're a member and actively single, why not, besides why have profiles in the first place if you can't/shouldn't surf
there are some things i guess, just aren't worth being bothered over | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 6/7/2008 9:11:12 PM | Are you having to sneak around your "great lady" in order to browse?
I think you should try being honest and then go from there | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 6/7/2008 10:17:02 PM | | Well i think it's most definately wrong if your truly comitted to this woman your with,but i think you allready know that and are just looking for someone to excuse your behaviour so you won't feel so ashamed. | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 6/7/2008 10:25:23 PM | | I didn't read all the replies...I don't think it matters what we all think. It only matters what this great lady you're in a relationship with thinks, so ask her! Shouldn't your profile say "not single/not looking"? It's a little misleading when women are searching for "divorced" men and your profile comes up. | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 6/7/2008 10:33:45 PM | | i do so with forum people guys an girls to see who's talkin and find out if they're like they write in profile an get to know how they write in forum... i view who's viewed me.. but i think i've turned everything off.. so.. if it's bad of you i'm sure it's bad of me.. what's the crime.. I can walk in public and am proud of who i'm seeing to be frank so... she has lots of friends in blogs an forums.. it's a cultural issue... so I don't feel it's bad... this is an information era... some of these looking for friends who actually are looking for friends can an do turn out to be good friends an some business associates.. it's all in the personal intent an actions there of to follow... i met 3 of my employee's on dating web sites.. and no we never did anything except find a mutual common ground in business, 2 I've never met in person and have worked for me now nearly 4 years... so.. varibles in one use of profiles is there fore justified... if the person has honest and sincere intent... | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 6/7/2008 10:40:26 PM |
Your looking at profiles could mean that you are not quiet sure of the relationship you are in now.
Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!
I think it's disrespectful to your lady. Period. | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 6/8/2008 6:41:57 AM | | If you're hiding your browsing from her, if she would be upset by it, and/or if you posted this question as a cover story for her to find or for you to show her, then yes, it's wrong. If you truly drop in just for the forums and are not using this site mostly for browsing profiles .. and .. she knows about it, no problem. That you're even asking suggests a problem. | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 6/8/2008 7:07:24 AM | You did ask
Are you some kind of profile stalker, weird behaviour for an adult.
If as you say you have a relationship - move on | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:18:12 AM | just surfing? hmmm..you dont need a registered profile just to surf, so sounds to me like you're in denial or edging your bets before you've figgered out whats going on with the person you say you're fixated on...either way you're in committal-denial. i bet you'd be upset if the lady you're fixated on did/does the same thing....dont ya just love judgemental hypocrites | |
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| is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:56:12 AM |
Yes that is bad of you. It is just another form of cheating. Who knows, you might find a profile and a picture that you think fits you perfectly and you can not resist. Your looking at profiles could mean that you are not quiet sure of the relationship you are in now. Would you want your partner to be looking also?
Wow! Lighten up kamla. You need to consider his intent, which he stated as being simply an attempt to amuse himself. I would liken it more to people watching than cheating. Maybe his intent goes beyond what is stated, but that isn't in evidence.
Is it "cheating" if he says Angelina Jolie is hot? Or if he makes small talk with a coworker who is a woman? What if he chats with a strange woman in line at the grocery store? Makes eye contact with a woman whom he finds attractive? Says hello to the woman who lives next door? Where do you draw the line?
There have been a lot of divorces because the man or the woman got online just to look. They had no idea they would find someone they could not resist and that it would break up their marriage. Many people have lived to regret ever getting online.
There have been a lot of divorces because a guy goes to work and meets another woman, or is introduced to a friend of a friend at a a social gathering. Should all men stop working and stop socializing because they could meet someone else who they could not resist? No. | |
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