| Big problem; she finds my personal journal
Posted: 5/2/2008 6:48:25 PM | | Simple answer to this: she way overstepped her bounds. Be glad you found out now that six months or longer into a relationship that she'd be spying on you. | |
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| Big problem; she finds my personal journal
Posted: 5/2/2008 7:09:03 PM | Guys write in diaries? I thought they were reserved for 11 year old girls and thoughts of Brody Jenner...
Anyway, like others said, they shouldn't have gone through your personal things (they couldn't wait 5 minutes when you would have returned?) let alone to read it.
But seriously, leave the journals at home in a safe place. | |
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| Big problem; she finds my personal journal
Posted: 5/2/2008 7:26:57 PM | HAHAHA... Oh I love this stuff.
Ok, here's what you do.
Start a new journal. Now instead of pouring your heart out, be creative and write about her finding it. Put your writing skill to the test and really spin it on her. Then hand it to her. Have some fun with her. I mean it's blown anyway right? | |
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| Big problem; she finds my personal journal
Posted: 5/2/2008 8:11:48 PM | Well, just to stir everyone up and get them yelling at me I'm going in a different direction :o)
Yeah, if it was me, I'd be horrified and I would be pissed, but, as Kahn stated in the first movie... "Revenge is a dish best served cold."
So let's just assume for a moment that when she started reading she was REALLY getting into the whole thing and couldn't put it down! Now she can't sleep at night, she's got cramps in her hands and her fingers are all wrinkled like she's been soaking in Palmolive for too long! It is driving her crazy - she's probably just about worn out the removable shower head, and you're next buddy! Play it cool - keep yourself visible to her on occasion, give her coy looks on occasion, walk past, possibly brush up against her lightly if you can. Don't be a stalker - be a tease. Keep the subject on her mind without saying anything so it gets her so wound up she can't stand it. Then, after a couple of weeks of that, if you can get within speaking distance and no one else is around say "So, did you like what you read?". See what color her face gets. If she blushes deeply she's pretty much busted. Now say something like "you know, you can have that if you want it" and just smile subtly.... Have a little fun with it, and like you said, if she decides to open up a pandoras box for herself and starts telling everyone what you've written, just reply to them that she was really drunk that night, and she sure seemed to enjoy it while it was happening! She can't prove to anyone it didn't happen any more than she can prove you ever wrote anything without having it to show people, and if you leave it where someone can get it again, then you get what you deserve :o)
Yeah, I know everyone's gonna think I'm an evil bastage, but I agree with everyone else here - she's in the wrong. There is no way she didn't know what she was reading. So have a little fun with it and who knows - maybe your fantasies will come true!!
flames > /dev/null  | |
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| Big problem; she finds my personal journal
Posted: 5/2/2008 10:44:17 PM | Dude,
You write it they will find it, no matter what, no matter where. Sorry to sound so sexist but it seems that the he said she did thing is goining on everywhere these says. Perhaps it is just in my life that this seems to be a prooblem but,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
what we do today is under everyone's scrutiny. YOIKES!!! Give me some alone time please! | |
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| Big problem; she finds my personal journal
Posted: 5/3/2008 1:50:16 AM | OP:
It's bad enough she read it, but to share it with her friend and then walk away..?
If I felt you were not the fatal attraction, serial stalker type of guy and you never gave me any reason to expect so:
I suppose who I am today, I would have told my friend to excuse us and I would have told you something like "I am sorry I read this, I didn't mean to pry" "Now that this is out in the open, can we start over, I feel you are moving a little fast" "Call me" Then I would have walked away, turned around, come back and put my arm around your shoulders (if that felt appropriate to touch you) and maintained eye contact with you to say "I am truely sorry, can you please forgive me?" On the next phone call, I would have acted as if it never happened.
^That is if I was complimented by it and wanted anything further, but if I wasn't, I still would have apologized and made you know I wasn't judging you over it and it was my bad and could we still be on good terms. And I would just add "I think it's hot what you wrote, but don't let me catch you at my window", jokingly.
Back when I was in college, I may have done exactly what she did. It would have been embarassing, possibly complimented and I wouldn't have known how to react.
I agree that you should take the next step confidently, positively and creatively as some of the other posters suggested, but confronting her aggressively is a bad idea, IMO, unless she is a total beach about it.
Write out some of your "thoughts" from these posts on what she did in a new diary (the ones you want her to hear) and hand it to her.
Or just let it go.....what does it really hurt? It depends on if you want to pursue her or not. | |
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| Big problem; she finds my personal journal
Posted: 5/3/2008 2:31:05 AM | OOH... you little devil you! 
Well hun... my most honest answer can be... TELL HER TO STAY THE **** OUT OF YOUR PERSONAL SHIT. Lol jk.
But why would she go in your bag ? o.O
I guess it depends on what your wrote.. was it romantic... or JUST CREEPY?
"see you around" kind of sounds like.. wtf let's get out of here before he pops a boner.
Go talk to her about it, I guess.. not much you can do.. but you don't want to sit around the rest of your life wondering what she saw, how she felt.. etc. | |
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| Big problem; she finds my personal journal
Posted: 5/3/2008 6:47:58 AM | Op, Rotten thing for her to do !! Personal means PERSONAL !! I must admit if I came across my fellas journal, I would be soooooooooo tempted to read it...... but I'm an adult and with that comes respect for the other person. If it's not mine, it's not for me to read. Unless he wanted me to. And even then I would have to think about it.
Hey, just keep in mind that most things have "pay-backs". Some day she'll be payed-back for what she's done and the pay-backs are usually much worse than what they've done too. Think about that and smile !!!
Blonde  | |
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| Big problem; she finds my personal journal
Posted: 5/3/2008 9:11:08 AM |
A girl who I go to school with, and was privately in complete lust over, met up with me for a study break. with one of her girlfriends. She had no idea how I feel about her, and barely knew me.
Anyway while I go to get coffee, she claims she was looking for the textbook because she didn't bring it, and possibly some class notes that she didn't get.
This reeks of a setup. Pheromones are powerful. Butterflies can smell each other a mile a way. Though she "barely knew you" she met up with you for a study break? My guess is she WANTED that journal, she probably glanced at you a few times when you were scribbling madly in it with the sweat running off your brow. Women can perceive when we are attracted to them. You probably have not been as secretive as you would have liked to be about your desire for her, if one of her friends noticed you staring at her or the like, the bread crumbs are all going to add up. Just watch any episode of SVU.
My thoughts are that unless you have her name on every page of the journal she can't be for sure that you are writing about her. But she DEFINITELY wanted to find out or she wouldn't dig through someone's bag that she "barely knew"....
She probably realized a while back that you were engrossed with her and took the chance of meeting you for a study break to find out for sure. When she couldn't keep her little fingers off your book or wait for you to come back with coffee to ask you she knew exactly what she was doing in my opinion. Maybe what she read was too much voltage at once, like a woman wanting to talk marriage on the first date, but you'll never know unless you ask.
The easiest way is to approach her a second time and ask her what she thought of your love story. Tell her it is a novel you are composing and ask her if it was OK to use her name since she is the one who inspires you to write, your little "muse". | |
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| Big problem; she finds my personal journal
Posted: 5/3/2008 9:28:19 AM | Rude and very nosy of her. Maybe you should be thinking glad you seen her do it and she walked away. Just think of what it would be like if you dated her. She'd be up in ALL your stuff all day long. She would pick a part your brian if she couldn't find what she was looking for.
Why is it gay for a man to have a personal journal? I don't think it is a common thing for alot of men to have but certainly not gay. | |
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| Big problem; she finds my personal journal
Posted: 5/5/2008 2:45:18 AM | | When I read this I was completely gobsmacked! How can somone just start rifling through your personal property?! That's so crossing the line! If someone did that to me I'd show them the door! Forget her, she isn't worth it! | |
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| Big problem; she finds my personal journal
Posted: 5/5/2008 3:51:10 AM | | Well that just is not right at all i persons journal is private and even if she was looking for a text book and comes across your journal she had no right to read it at all they are your personal thoughts and feelings in there, this girls has no respect for you if she has done that to you | |
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| Big problem; she finds my personal journal
Posted: 5/5/2008 6:10:12 AM | | she had no reason to be reading that, that was totally wrong for her to do that, how would she like you to go through her purse because your looking for something | |
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| Big problem; she finds my personal journal
Posted: 5/5/2008 11:04:48 AM | I would be livid that she went into my personal property and took it out. Nevermind, reading it!!!!!
Don't worry about it and just don't leave your belongings around.
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| Big problem; she finds my personal journal
Posted: 5/5/2008 11:06:24 AM | HAHAHA... Oh I love this stuff.
Ok, here's what you do.
Start a new journal. Now instead of pouring your heart out, be creative and write about her finding it. Put your writing skill to the test and really spin it on her. Then hand it to her. Have some fun with her. I mean it's blown anyway right?
I agree.. maybe she will think your exciteing and will go out on a date with you!! Most of us women love adventurs like that! | |
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| Big problem; she finds my personal journal
Posted: 5/5/2008 1:29:07 PM | rule #1 NEVER put anything to do with a woman down in writing.. it'll haunt you and come back to screw you every time!!!!!!!! no matter how it was intended...
but then again I don't know any guy who keeps a fantasy journal either. Very metro. | |
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| Big problem; she finds my personal journal
Posted: 5/5/2008 2:22:06 PM | I had much the same reaction as man4u:
She probably realized a while back that you were engrossed with her and took the chance of meeting you for a study break to find out for sure. When she couldn't keep her little fingers off your book or wait for you to come back with coffee to ask you she knew exactly what she was doing in my opinion.
Mr. Bain, were you getting coffee for yourself, or all three of you? If more than yourself, who suggested it? Just curious.
See, unless these 20-something girls are much more callous than my college days, which I suppose is always a possibility....
When one "accidentally" does something one knows is wrong... like picking up your journal to read... a basic instinct is to return it quickly so as not to get caught being in the wrong.
^^ which leads me to think she very much WANTED you to know she was reading your journal. Sounds like she even lingered/luxuriated over it.
At any rate, own this and don't you dare slink about like you have done anything wrong! But I'd say there is very definitely a game being played. Might as well enjoy the entertainment factor of where this one might go. Have some fun with it. | |
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| Big problem; she finds my personal journal
Posted: 5/5/2008 3:53:10 PM | What an evil tart. It's one thing to mistakently stumble across something like that (not that she should have been looking in the first place without your permission), but it's quite another to sit there and deliberately read through the entire damn thing.
If you ask me, this makes her look way worse than it does you regardless of what might have been in that journal. I'd write her off as a worthless snooping twät and not worry about what she thinks or tells anyone. | |
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| Big problem; she finds my personal journal
Posted: 5/5/2008 3:54:32 PM | | Sorry if I didnt read all the replies but I have to wonder what the hell she was doing reading your diary or journal as is the case? Isnt that private? | |
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| Big problem; she finds my personal journal
Posted: 5/12/2008 1:48:26 PM | #1 they invaded your space. went digging through your belongings, without your knowledge or consent. shld have waited your return/ and asked you.
they sld be ashamed of themselves!!!! your privacy has benn violated///u did nothing wrong, only thing now, is to face it. don't be ashamed of your inner-most thoughts, we r all entitled. i feel 4 u tho.  | |
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| Big problem; she finds my personal journal
Posted: 5/12/2008 1:58:08 PM | So what dude. Rather than feel embarrassed, ask her if she wants to read more. Of if she has and imagination that can top yours? Or can she do better than you? Having an imagination is by the way, healthy, and what eventually you may discover is that some women get very, very, turned on by that stuff.
In reality the one on the wrong here was her and her friend for reading your private information. So next time you talk to her, tell her that next time she wants to get off with the stuff you write, she is either going to have to pay you, or do a trade and have her offer her own personal musing.
Oh and to those saying "dude don't write it if you don't want them to find it." That is such a defeatist mentality. Let them find it, let them imagine and enjoy. If you start limiting your expression for fear of who may read it, you will never ever write something worth sh!t. So let it rip. Even if it is your personal erotica. I would recommend that you write something else and push the envelope even further, not necessarily in the graphic nature, but in how your prose pulls her in. And the next person that intrudes in your musings, just come to them, smile with a devious smirk and say "Got you going, didn't it?" | |
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