| Child support by step-parents
Posted: 5/5/2008 7:07:15 PM | .I think that forcing the issue of child support on step parents will make people a little bit afraid of making a commitment with someone with children.
If a person pays child support,they should be allowed to have parental rights .
I have been a single mother and until recently have not looked at the other side of the fence on child support,
perhaps both parents should have finances reviewed yearly,
and show where the support goes in form of possible receipts,etc,
so that the non custodial parent will have a better understanding
of the cost and expense of a child.
It is very hard for some parents who may love their child,
but have very little money and very few legal rights as a parent,
we expect fathers and parents to pay child support,
but yet so many custodial parents don't want the non custodial
parent to have any parental rights,
Often lessons learned by the children is
money=love.
We have young adults struggle to suvive
gas,food,a place to live,car payment,insurance,
often alone,plus child support,
often on a low income. | |
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| Child support by step-parents
Posted: 5/5/2008 7:12:59 PM | | Ok rockhunter, read your profile. Says your a single parent also. If you had the oportunity to cash in on free child support from some woman with no kids, would you do it?? | |
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| Child support by step-parents
Posted: 5/5/2008 7:14:16 PM |
If you had the oportunity to cash in on free child support from some woman with no kids, would you do it??
Of course not. Being a thief is not one of my life goals. | |
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| Child support by step-parents
Posted: 5/5/2008 7:18:09 PM | Istar it is statementsquestions like that that highlight exactly why that law needs to be changed. Thank you for sharing such a self-centered view. Of course your ex boyfriend is not entitled to save his money for his children when he could spend it by giving it to you "for your kids" | |
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| Child support by step-parents
Posted: 5/5/2008 7:21:25 PM | | Good I'm glad to hear that. Unfortunately it goes both ways. You can't blame people with no kids for being afraid of getting involved with single parents. It's a big risk. | |
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| Child support by step-parents
Posted: 5/5/2008 7:26:33 PM | Right you are, but a thread search will turn up many single mom threads for every single dad thread. Only difference is less whining about singles over-looking, the guys.
This is one unfair liability for single parents of either sex and more unfairly to those who do become involved with them. | |
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| Child support by step-parents
Posted: 5/5/2008 7:49:38 PM | | Uh Loonytunz, I don't have any children referring to post #54. So I'm the one who has everything to lose monetary wise. | |
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| Child support by step-parents
Posted: 5/5/2008 8:10:57 PM | | Oh so making it into a sexism thing? No wasn't thinking that and do a thread search and you will find single fathers run into the same bias from the same reasons as single mothers. | |
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| Child support by step-parents
Posted: 5/5/2008 8:25:03 PM | | I said it works out both ways. Nothing sexist here. Men and women can both be greedy. Everyone needs to be careful to weed out bad people. | |
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| Child support by step-parents
Posted: 5/5/2008 8:31:16 PM | I was just confused as sex really hadn't enterred into the equation. And yes weeding the dross and chaff is important for both sexes. Sorry if I misinterpreted your point earlier.
Curious though since sex has now been brought up. How many working women support the idea of paying for their ex-boyfriends kids with another woman if they split up? | |
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| Child support by step-parents
Posted: 5/6/2008 2:40:40 AM |
(In response to my comment that my wife and I had been arguing daily.)
Is it just me, or that falls squarely within the "abuse" (in its verbal category) definition?
So, in your mind, arguing is the same as verbal abuse? Just because we were miserable and couldn't agree on much of anything anymore does not mean that we were abusing each other.
You are equaling "living together in the same house" with "being a parent to that child".
Actually, I'm not. In fact, based off some of the things that johne102 has stated about the law, I would agree that it could use some refinement (lots of it, actually). I'm trying to understand why, in the situations where the step-parent (not the person who is merely dating the mother) has in fact accepted the child, this step-parent would no longer want to continue supporting the child. In fact, I believe (but could possibly be mistaken) that I was specifically referring to situations where the step-parent married and was divorcing the biological parent. (I will admit to making the assumption that a person who marries a single parent would choose to accept their step-children as children of their own. Perhaps a watched a few too many Brady Bunch episodes in my youth.)
The only -THE ONLY- way to prove inequivocally that he has "accepted the child as his own" is via legal adoption. And the law already says that an adopted child has the same rights as a blood child, including CS.
OK, here I will agree that you raise a very good point. Perhaps this is the answer to the question I originally raised about the difference between a child both parents adopted and a child that was born to one of the parents before the relationship. It definitely gives me food for thought.
johne102,
In response to some of the questions you've posed, I agree that legislating child support from somebody who merely lived with the biological parent for six months seems absurd. In fact, how do you legally prove the difference between a romantic relationship or a mere roommate in a court of law?
An interesting question (and this applies to child support, welfare, disability, and several other issues) is how do we provide for those who legitimately need assistance while preventing abuse. I don't believe a good solution for this has been found yet.
Perhaps on this issue an improvement would be to stop trying to create a law that would uniformly cover all situations. We use judges in our courts of law to examine the specific circumstances of a case and make a ruling based on the guidelines of the law. Rather than tying the hands of the judges, it might be useful to return their ability to rule on individual cases. This could help prevent some abuses while still serving the purpose of the law.
Then again, we have repeatedly seen that the legal system can often fail those who need it the most. I don't think there's a perfect solution to this dilemma, but I do see merit to both side of the issue with the way the law is currently implemented. | |
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| Child support by step-parents
Posted: 5/6/2008 3:08:02 AM | | I don't agree with it unless the step-parent or whatever ADOPTED the child as their own, like legally on paper..... | |
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| Child support by step-parents
Posted: 5/6/2008 8:46:33 AM | | How do you handle visitation rights/schedules of multiple step parents? If you want the money after the divorce should this person not have visitation too? How is that visitationschedule broken down? It gets more and more complicated. | |
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| Child support by step-parents
Posted: 5/6/2008 2:36:23 PM | | the children have in most cases a real father and mother who arent dead and should be responsable for there own children's financial needs .......the forced support by a non bio parent is nothing short of extortion ..when both parents are alive and there was never any adoption papers signed the step parent shouldnt have to take over any responsabilities ..often an unresponsable bio mother and father pass there financial responsabilities over onto a responsable step parent who has tried to have a relationship with the single mother ..family collections will go after all of her boy friends to collect for her here in canada ,,they will go after anyone and every one .. ..many single mothers in canada stay single until the children turn 18 because of this enforcment of support even when the children dont call you dad.and even if the mother dosent want them to ...its the law.. | |
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| Child support by step-parents
Posted: 5/6/2008 3:10:13 PM | Ok I just need to say something here regarding the step parent paying support for a child that is not their's.
1) in order for the mother of the child to get the support from a step parent she can not be getting support from the bio father.
2) in order for the step parent to have to pay support they have to be married and go through a divorce, as that child is not legaly their's until the couple is married.
3) if you are a step parent that is paying support for a child you have every right to visitation's with that child just like a bio parent would have.
4) if you are living common law with a parent then you are safe because you have no legal obligation's to that child.
5) there are many people out there who are step parent's and pay support for their children and also get visitations, wanan know why???? Because to them they ARE their child weather there is blood running through the same vain's or not. | |
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| Child support by step-parents
Posted: 5/6/2008 3:20:01 PM |
Ok I just need to say something here regarding the step parent paying support for a child that is not their's.
1) in order for the mother of the child to get the support from a step parent she can not be getting support from the bio father.
Tough. Go bug bio-dad for the money.
Arlo | |
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| Child support by step-parents
Posted: 5/6/2008 4:52:46 PM | Neveah's mom:
Not sure how things operatew in your province regarding child support and visitation for ex step children but in Ontario it is very clear:
6 months in a common-law re;ationship with someone who has custody of children from another person..."cha ching"...you gotta pay child support.
A parent can be awarded (and can collect) child support from multiple [eople who fall into the rile of parent or step parent.
As I have already said the side effect many single parents with custody of children are trying to deal with is a visitation schedule for multiple people for their children to see. It is not easy but the parents keep hiding behind "The best interests of the child" as a justification for seeking financial support from ex step parents but do not want them to have any rights.
So Malibu Steve with all due respect how would you handle a situation where your children had to have visitation with not only you but multiple other men? | |
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| Child support by step-parents
Posted: 5/6/2008 5:25:56 PM |
1) in order for the mother of the child to get the support from a step parent she can not be getting support from the bio father.
MAYBE that is true where you live, that however is not the case here.
2) in order for the step parent to have to pay support they have to be married and go through a divorce, as that child is not legaly their's until the couple is married. .
MAYBE that is true where you live, that however is not the case here.
3) if you are a step parent that is paying support for a child you have every right to visitation's with that child just like a bio parent would have. .
MAYBE that is true where you live, that however is not the case here. the courts have been very clear on this issue. Visitation /access CANNOT be related to CS, you can have access while paying nothing, or pay out the a$$ but have no access, it is left to the judges discretion.
4) if you are living common law with a parent then you are safe because you have no legal obligation's to that child. .
MAYBE that is true where you live, that however is not the case here. 6 months and it may aswell be your own flesh and blood.
5) there are many people out there who are step parent's and pay support for their children and also get visitations, wanan know why???? Because to them they ARE their child weather there is blood running through the same vain's or not.
Uh huh, and that is their CHOICE. So long as they make the choice to be responsible and involved with those children it is none of our concern/business unless they pose some sort of risk. but no one should be forced to look after someone elses kids. What next a knock on the door at 3am and CAS drops off a complete strangers child that you are now obligated to look after?
. | |
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| Child support by step-parents
Posted: 5/6/2008 5:34:21 PM | | Sorry but I don't think any step parent should be responsible for paying for a child that isn't biologically theirs. If they choose to thats another story that I hope would contain visitation rights. | |
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| Child support by step-parents
Posted: 5/6/2008 6:44:08 PM | Sorry but I don't think any step parent should be responsible for paying for a child that isn't biologically theirs. If they choose to thats another story that I hope would contain visitation rights.
i agree..and about the money ..i am sure any ex would let a step parent visit the children if they were stopping in to offer some help ..what kind of idiot made it the law to force someone to pay child support for another's children ?..... everyone knows its wrong but they continue to enforce it in Canada .. it has harmed a single mothers chance's to have a relationship more then any other single obstical... | |
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| Child support by step-parents
Posted: 5/6/2008 8:36:28 PM | When you adopt a child, you are that childs legal parent. A step-parent is not a child's legal parent.
Did you know there are women in Canada who routinely marry and divorce, remarry and divorce, and have multiple men supporting the same child/children? Some of them have learned to work the system, and are living quite nicely off it. The only person who should be required to support the children is those children's LEGAL father. Otherwise that setup is going to be, and is being abused by a bunch of women. | |
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| Child support by step-parents
Posted: 5/6/2008 8:54:47 PM | | Honestly, I really don't care how much this gets me slammed, but I don't think there's any way I'd date someone who had kids, if I lived in Canada. While I feel bad for the single parents who are truly just trying to meet someone to spend their lives with, there are too many others who are willing to leech off the current system, and you don't truly know someone till you live with them. By the time you are living with them, it's TOO LATE. So, on that note, I'd err on the side of caution, and stick to only people with no kids. | |
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| Child support by step-parents
Posted: 5/9/2008 12:36:46 AM | rock hunter,
Some of your comments have merrit but....
Why do you try to simplify the issue of child support...for step parents....and even bio parents? It can be a complex situation that shouldn't require the need for anyone to place blame.
My only question is....Where are some parents moral compass? It annoys me to no end that people are quick to assume the worst from the few bad examples that some SP have made regarding this law....but it pisses me off to no end that the majority of people don't give a second thought to the ones who have the moral compass not to exploit this law..among other reasons.
I wish some people would learn how to read between the lines before they form an opinion. | |
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| Child support by step-parents
Posted: 5/9/2008 1:32:58 AM | Why do you try to simplify the issue of child support...for step parents....and even bio parents?
I don't know why you mention bio parents, but I simplify the issue for the so-called "step parents" because IT'S SIMPLE. You didn't do the deed, you don't do the time.
It can be a complex situation that shouldn't require the need for anyone to place blame.
Exactly how "paying for a child that is not yours" is complex?
It annoys me to no end that people are quick to assume the worst from the few bad examples that some SP have made regarding this law
Because a worst-case scenario is what you prepare for. Because if things go wrong, that's how worse they be. Because, as some of these cases show, sometimes it's not the single mom who wants to do it, but the State who compels her to do it.
but it pisses me off to no end that the majority of people don't give a second thought to the ones who have the moral compass not to exploit this law
And exactly how do you know a potential date has such moral compass? Is it tatooed on her forehead? Sorry my friend but nobody can see into another person's heart. Just look at Heather Mills.
Anyway, would you be pissed off with a person who doesn't go to a bad neighborhood because he or she is afraid of being mugged and ignores all the honest people who may live there, or would you be pissed off with the muggers and gangbangers who give that neighborhood a bad reputation?
Finally, I know some people think "the poor child" and "somebody has to pay" are justification enough. I wonder if they also justify bank robbers and street muggers because they have families to support. | |
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