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| What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 6/17/2008 2:18:49 AM | Chemistry and a good heart. These two things to me has always done me well in being with someone I want to be with. A woman with a good heart can be determined very quickly. And it's alright if she is into her self a bit... (we all are to some degree)... For me I like a independent a woman. Chemistry is very simple (for me). When I meet someone and it's like we have known each other but just have not met yet... is a good start. She reads you, just as well as you read her. And if she finds a good heart in you, with natural honesty she can relax because over a short time she knows your not gaming her.
-Harley Cross | |
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| What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 6/17/2008 3:25:20 AM | from what I've seen, alot of it is about arm candy & T&A....kinda shallow, no?
there are some men looking for Mommy, some looking for a wild sex partner, some looking for a meal ticket. Some have "agendas". The ones who DON'T have an agenda- those are the dateworthy ones, more sincere IMO | |
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| What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 6/20/2008 7:32:41 AM | I agree with you skunk, and look for the same things in a man.
I'd like to expand on this just a little though. Observing how a person acts is all very well but we must be sure to talk about anything you don't like to see to ensure that the impression you are getting is not the wrong one. Communication is really the key to any relationship and we're sometimes sorry when we aren't clear with each other. It can cost us the relationship we are looking for. Lastly, I don't know that we can expect too much in a new relationship. After many years of marriage I know it took lots of work and willingness to forgive and try again. Why, after a few weeks of dating someone, would it be any easier. Best of luck to you in your search. | |
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| What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 6/21/2008 11:40:44 AM | Ahhh after reading many posts and thinking about them I decided to post in this topic once again.
What I seem to be finding in potential fishes that write and I sometimes meet is..
what do you do? how much do you make?, where do you live? where do you work? what are your assets? 401k? what do you drive? what do you do on dates and where do you take them? and then the questions get worse..
What happened to you meet someone, go on a date, move on if you don't have much in common with another friend added? I think dating in my youth was much easier.
If you dated and fell in love, you married and melded your lives together..
Now as a middle aged single adult..it seems you must do an interview before even meeting for coffe or a drink. Then if you decide to date..the person then informs you that her kids have all rights to her assets.
Sorry I don't give a rats azz what you have, unless it's a pole barn, a boat and a harley!..just kidding.
Why must every date need to have a direction of longterm? Why isn't a date just that.. a date.. Have fun, enjoy the company and if you enjoyed it ask for a second date.
As we age we put so much importance on permancy that we create a buffer around us that superman couldn't break through..
This week, I answered a 40 question email before I'd even be considered for a coffee meeting..so I did answer and when I passed the inquisition..I politely passed on meeting her. She was offended that I declined..
I tell ya dating is not supposed to be this hard. You see someone that appeals to you, you chat with them and meet face to face..too simple I guess for the IT age of hiding behind a computer screen, posting 10 yr old pictures and yes even the married cheaters of both sexes using the net for their own reasons..
I haven't dated since last october and now I remember why I stopped.
what does a man over 45 look for? I can surely tell ya what I DON'T want!..
dusty
fishing is easier and the bass don't question your motives..
dusty
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| What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 6/21/2008 5:25:34 PM | | I think all of the above are important except the decorating styles. Men and women are generally pretty different in that respect. I've never met a straight man with a flair for decorating and most men see floral patterns as very threatening to their masculinity for some reason, as if a single woman is going to have stripes and power tool prints as a bed spread and matching drapes. If you've ever watched "Designing for the Sexes" it seems the man is usually afraid of color and wants to make everything bland and boring like room at the Motel 6. I never want my home to look like an office. Women like to make their home personal that says something about them. I believe if you have a good relationship, when you eventually do combine households that you can find a happy medium, or he can have a space that is dedicated as his exclusively and the gal have hers. Just because my house has victorian furnishings, antiques and doillies, doesn't mean I am not ready to change to a cleaner, contemporary style when I begin a new relationship with someone. It is nice that men do pay attention to what kind of effort a woman puts into making a pleasant, comfortable abode. | |
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| What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 6/22/2008 5:33:59 PM | | Personally, I think it's important for her to have pink flamingoes displayed prominently in her front yard, and an Xbox 360 (the good one, not the cheapo version)! | |
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| What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:21:39 AM | I think your on the right track, if there was a track! It happens when you least expect it. You have to get your self out there though. You have to take a chance! | |
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| What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:42:49 AM | Without reading all the posts on this thread, I will answer in the way I first thought about the question....
I think I'm looking for exactly the same thing i was looking for when I was 17.
The only difference is, I am not wiser and think I know better how to attract and keep the one I seek. I'm not saying it's working. If it was, I would not be here! lol
My desires, wants, needs have not changed. Just wiser about my choices...I hope. | |
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| What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 10/13/2009 4:28:31 AM | What happens at 45? I take it this number is merely representative of a mature adult who is looking for those aforementioned qualities that come naturally with good people. I find the whole age thing to be based on pre-conceived societal hang-ups and moral imperatives relying on anachronistic behavior expectations. In other words as was mentioned previously ,I want the same qualities I've always wanted. Being older just gives some of us better tools to find them. As it is for dating, ritualed, puritanical structure imported 200 years ago is creating chaos within relationships and needs to be seen as it really is. Ok so this was 2 rants in one thread...sorry but it had to be purged lest I end up in the therapy forum....
PS I am available to those who want to engage in hedonistic excess without the burden of being judged by those throwing large stones at hand blown houses.  | |
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| What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 10/13/2009 5:59:53 AM | Everybody has good points and bad points and I think running down a checklist is an exercise in futility. Do you have to check off all the good things on the list or maybe 80%, 75% ? I think I've run into more than one woman where she walked away because I only met 9 out of 10 items on her list. Seems like an impossible quest.
I ask myself a simple question with a not so simple answer. The question is: Can I live with her worst to have her best? It takes time to see anyone's best traits and even longer for the bad ones to come out since they are often hidden in the beginning. And let's face it, just about everybody is fun to be with when they are at their best. I really want to see and understand their worst. So it takes time, to me that's what dating is all about. | |
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| What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 10/14/2009 9:26:19 AM | Gary
I agree
Someone really shouldn't answer for someone else..everyone has their own ideas about what they want from a relationship.
Inner beauty is the MOST important . Not everyone in the world is an angelina or brad (real tacky comparison but it was the first thing to come to mind..) but unfortunately, not many people look for that in a person. LOOKS always come first..may not be right...but is definately true...
Someone who can show love and compassion over material things, beauty etc..is far more likely to receive.
good luck and keep looking..
Leigh8k8 | |
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| What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 10/17/2009 8:28:28 PM | Quite frankly, if I ever brought a woman over to my house, and on seeing my dogs she
a) She asks me to "put those things outside"
b) is avoided by the dogs
She's gone. they are the best judges of character i've ever known.
Of course the dogs are gone and I live on a boat now. The new test is if she can figure out the boat toilet...... | |
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| What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 10/17/2009 10:01:45 PM |
ask myself a simple question with a not so simple answer. The question is: Can I live with her worst to have her best? It takes time to see anyone's best traits and even longer for the bad ones to come out since they are often hidden in the beginning. And let's face it, just about everybody is fun to be with when they are at their best. I really want to see and understand their worst. So it takes time, to me that's what dating is all about.
...That makes so much sense to me.
Being single as long as I have, it's the " small stuff" I worry about. It's those little things that can escalate into big things and drive a wedge between a couple if it's not handled correctly.
I've grown so used to having things "my way" doing things my way....it's going to be a major adjustment on my part... One thing is for certain I will have to learn to C.O.M.P.R.O.M.I.S.E...(did I spell that right? ) As you can see it hasn't been a part of my vocabulary for some time. But I will practice that....and patience too....hmmm, wondering who is going to need it more...him or me.
Ya know, I've come to know myself pretty well over the years...and yes, I am so far from being perfect it's insane..but the truth of the matter is with all my faults, I'm still a darn good person, I am honest and I am loyal. And I have a heart as big as all tommorrow...just waiting for that special guy.
...maeflowers
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| What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 10/18/2009 7:06:42 AM | I like that list, skunk12pu n is something I have taught my boys. They will all give clues and cues about the woman along with ..time will reveal all... and is a method I use also, lol.  | |
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