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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?      Home login  
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 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 26
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is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships? Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
woobytoodsday

I wouldn't worry too much about internet porn (or any other kind, either. You already have quite enough on your plate.


You go girl

 sweetazeyes
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 27
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 5:23:07 AM
these forums would be more helpful and insightful if only the people who can offer intelligent insights and opinions about the thread.

reading the profile of the person who started the thread and posting stupid and negative comments or passing judgement and attacking the character of the OP is totally uncalled for.


i guess nobody but myself realizes that about half of any given thread in these forums are wasted on comments by those that are immature,close minded,pea brained idiots that love performing their comedy act for free to those of us that didn't ask for their jokes,attacks on others and general stupidity.

this is a good question about relationships and how internet porn affects all of us as a society.

porn has been around forever.but never has so much been available and never has so many niches and extreme and really off the wall porn been available to anyone no matter what age and what income level.

i doubt people 100 years ago had access to brazilian shemale porn where surgically altered people perform extreme anal fistng and severe genital torture on somebody else. or anything else you can think up.

so that argument is not really even revelvent to our present day and age we live in.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 28
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is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 9:55:14 AM
You want a serious discussion, you posed two statements, not one. the what do you think part seems to be something you yourself are not liking the answer too...

Your first statement:
elevision,movies,video games and the internet are not just
ruinng love.consider how friendships are made or going to be made in the future.


Secondly you go on to talking about that people should meet up fast, and of couse this is after having a picture, and getting past false preceptions...

Third, you go on to say no decent women would do what is done in porn...ET AL...


Msg 4, states she has done things seen in porn, and doesn't feel it has caused her problems, infact it has enhanced some of her life.

Msg 6, states porn hasn't ruined his or his friends life.

Msg 7, me I have not had problems with people watching porn or having to over use viagra.

Msg 10, gave a very insightful answer about his opinions

Msg 11, likes porn.

Msg 12 doesn't believe porn has been an issue.

Msg 13, believes that porn helps people learn new technique.

Msg 14 addresses pon not being a problem, but the addiction to it is.

Msg 19, seems to understand what you are getting at, then seems to have mixed feeling about it...

Talk about judgmental
guess nobody but myself realizes that about half of any given thread in these forums are wasted on comments by those that are immature,close minded,pea brained idiots that love performing their comedy act for free to those of us that didn't ask for their jokes,attacks on others and general stupidity


Perhaps the American society isn't ready to address someone seriously when their thread is not based on one theme, that has valid recognized sources to back up the statement, other that speculations, and conjecture.

I have a friend that his wife booted him out of the house for being a porn addict... What was worse was he was in the Navy, and was able to have so many intimate encounters during his marriage, he doesn't know how many he had...

He current hooked up with a bar fly in Oct, that doesn't particularly enjoy sex, and he's starting his old habits again, and is on the prowl in person, and on the net.

There is a lot of things that is leading to the erosion of romantic values, and it isn't just porn on the internet.

As for the past, there isn't one of us that can really speak with much authority as to what was and wasn't a norm, OTHER THAN knowing there wasn't the internet.

Perhaps you may consider a trip to Europe and see some of the views of what is considered NORMAL sex entertainment... You may actually be extremely surprised to see how America is still way behind the times when it comes to open sexuality, and things that they do for sexual entertainment and pleasure...

The social impact of porn from the internet HAS had problems in marriages, and the like... However does that mean we should try stuffing the genie back into the bottle, when it has fully been let out?

If you look at some state jurisdiction there are certain sex acts that are still considered illegal, they weren't repealed because in general they weren't enforced in the first place.

Here's just a suggestion, if you want people to take you MORE seriously perhaps phrasing your inquiry on point, and have your profile reflect your belief in your quiry. Your original post was very disconnect, and once a person looked at you profile it was even more so.



 christi66
Joined: 4/17/2007
Msg: 29
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is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 12:10:26 PM
OP I still wanna know HOW you know what goes on in porn and HOW a decent woman wouldn't do such a thing if you CLAIM you have not seen porn , i mean i dont know what porn you been watching beastality perhaps ? your normal everyday porn is pretty much the norm of what most average male and female people do .. OK OK not everyone is having sex on the dentist chair .

care to answer if you want such a serious converstation
 Nicky2Tone
Joined: 11/17/2006
Msg: 30
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 12:36:54 PM

reading the profile of the person who started the thread and posting stupid and negative comments or passing judgement and attacking the character of the OP is totally uncalled for.


OP, in case you hadn't noticed....you're a man.

In your original post, you claim to be speaking for what a "Decent Woman" would (Or wouldn't) be doing, looking at., etc.

As I stated in my previous post, considering you have a penis...I really don't think you would have a good idea of what a "decent" woman would be doing. You can't speak for any woman. You aren't one.

Further, what defines decency to you or anyone else? It's all subjective.
A woman in MY BED doing the things that go on in general porn movies (Which is pretty typical stuff. Most mainstream porn films are the same, let's face it.) is MORE than decent...she's desired.

Sex is a wonderful thing. A lot of sex is even more wonderful and sex that includes variety is what keeps this man happy. So a decent woman in my eyes, would be the type to be very happy to move beyond the standard "Insert Tab A into Slot B" kind of situation.

As to referring to your profile and how it fits in with this entire thread?

You're a man that lists your interests on said profile as crossdressing, bdsm, servitude and a few other things.

The true Morality Police in this world would have a field day with you, so for you to come on here with your pseudo righteous indignation about what's "Moral" is amusing at best considering what's considered by general mainstream to be moral, does not include the lifestyle you practice.


so that argument is not really even revelvent


It's very relevant.

BTW, I'm not slighting you for your choice in interests. Freedom of choice, you can do whatever you want. I'm just saying...that you have to realize that YOUR choice in lifestyle (Crossdressing, etc.,) is not part of what's considered "decent" or "moral" by a lot of people?

You cannot possibly be blind to that truth.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 31
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is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 12:43:52 PM
Erotica has been part of our lives since the dawn of man. Every ancient culture had their own versions of Playboy, sex toys and erotic dance. Just because it is not for you does not mean you have the right to condemn those that use it for titillation, gratification or the mortification of others. I think many people could actually learn from books, movies etc. It does not have to be raunchy or gross. (unless that is what you like LOL)
I don't watch it either, but I can certainly understand why someone would. The guys that spend hours on the Internet staring at porn when they have a real woman in the next room? Sad for both of them. The human body is beautiful in every form.

OMG I just read the entire thread. The OP is a sexually INTOLERANT cross dresser. How bizarre is that.
 StrangerInTheHouse
Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 32
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 12:46:18 PM


LMAO I am laughing even more that people are reacting to a cross dresser making a big deal about porn but you got the speeches from stranger in the house as if hes not reading the rest and getting the jist of it all LLOL

Christi... I guess I'm not living in the moment as much as you...
to me: the question is The Thing... not the inquirer.

I'm just like that.

 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 33
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 12:54:27 PM

same with porn.i doubt any decent lady is going to do the things we see in porn.internet porn ruins regular sex and causes viagra usage.after all getting it up is going to be harder just having normal sex after watching this crap.




Good jokes OP.

I've been with quite a few women who liked watching porn, though they'd never admit it. If it's not abusive, mutually enjoyable type of porn, women I've met quite like it as an adjunct to fun sex. As a matter of fact, I was surprised how many were turned on by woman-woman sex type porn. Women with multiple male partners kinda porn was a given.

YAY porn!

 southernlass
Joined: 5/2/2006
Msg: 34
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 12:59:45 PM
Yes, internet porn is ruining real intimacy in relationships. It's also getting men fired from their jobs because they look at it when they are supposed to be working for their employer. All over the USA, approximately forty to seventy million men are so addicted to pornography that they can't focus on the way they make their living. Obviously this is going to affect these men's relationships.

What's really telling is if you tell your partner that porn isn't going to fly in your relationship and he chooses the porn instead of you! This is actually happening more than people realize. It's become a pretty disturbed world out here. Because of the current state of things, those who don't want pornography in their relationships need to be very upfront with the people they are dating and make it clear from the beginning what their feelings are about porn. There are millions who use it and as a result have become addicted to using it daily to several times a week.

If you have children and they are somehow exposed to it, you can lose your children. There is documented, peer reviewed research that pornography destroys relationships and the people who regularly view it. Of course, this research doesn't matter to those using it. Our society has become an "anything goes" society. Morality is hard to find. There are enough women that have now become willing participants in the viewing of pornography that they are addicted as well.

If you're not interested in pornography being a part of your relationship in the future, be very upfront during the dating process, (before becoming intimate with someone) that you're not going to have it in your home. This should weed out the addicts if you stress your position on it firmly enough because many people aren't going to tell you that they are addicted, because they don't even realize it themselves. They rationalize their addicted behavior and lie about it. Most are in serious denial that they have a problem. They'll tell you it's only the occasional thing. Well, it's not.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 35
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 1:10:08 PM
All over the USA, approximately forty to seventy million men are so addicted to pornography that they can't focus on the way they make their living.


Let's see... approximately half the population of the U.S. are men. So, being Canadian and a bit off on my U.S. stats, that's about 115,000,000 males. I'm guessing that about a third are too young to access or have an interest in porn but lets round it down even so we have, say 80,000,00 left. Then, well, take about, what's fair?... ummmm.... 10, ooo,ooo who are retired or contribute very little to the economy and that leaves us with.... hmmmmm... about 70,000,000 guys being contributors. And, if we take the average of your impecable statistics, that leaves about 15,000,000 men who are doing their bit.

No frickin' wonder the American economy is going through a bit of a rough patch. Thank goodness women are there picking up all the slack.

 jetty65
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 36
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 1:17:09 PM

like oral sex, woman on top, doggie style, etc... are things that many people have a hard time excepting.... yet porn makes them the norm in the culture that watches it. I think that makes many people uncomfortable.


If this is what porn was all about I wouldn't see a problem. But thats not the reality of it all. Porn has gone to extremes , and can only get more and more extreme.

Discovering each other naturally has lost its touch. I had a boyfriend that read a lot of porn and of course wanted to try it out. I really felt like a experiment instead of just doing what came naturally.


We have many in our society who had very religious upbringings and consider any sex act to be a "weakness of the flesh" in a way


Some might be more accurate, most religions believe in monogomy and with the amount of diseases out there its not a bad idea.

Whatever a couple feels mutually comfortable with is acceptable as long as both are respected.
 nigelwright
Joined: 3/24/2007
Msg: 37
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 1:22:52 PM
If i am with someone then I dont need porn.

If I am not with someone I dont need winding up with porn just for it to to go nowhere !

So porn is pretty useless to me.
 caleb717
Joined: 3/22/2008
Msg: 38
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 1:28:48 PM
PORN!!!!!!!!. is setting un realistic scenerios when it comes to relationship.I still don't get, it is designed to entertain,but all it is a big tease . I feel that pornagraphy has not only damaged the expectations of adults, but juveniles as well. Intimacy is not a marathon, it is a moment to be shared by two who wish to express there desire to be with the one of there choosing.
 Hazeldreaming
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 39
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 1:41:19 PM
I admit it. My ex used to laugh at me if one came on late night skinemax and I said "oh I've seen this one, this is the one where..." his reply..."yep of course you have".

So somebody smack my hand...(just my hand...lets behave.)
 thunderheart180
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 40
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 1:48:13 PM
I had a similar issue with my queen of hearts finding a website that I - out of curiosity and because it was sent by email - opened and quickly closed. A huge issue for her, not even worth talking about it for me. So I wondered why my woman felt this way, especially if she is so open and active in our bedroom. I was wondering whether she really was doing a lot of our sexual things just to please me and therefore is a chore to her. Finding my opened email perhaps created insecurities, perhaps thinking that I always will look for the next high in the bedroom by sleeping with other women besides her.

Here is what I think. I do understand plenty about how women can feel these days about their bodies (most women would say that their appearance is all they really have to get a good guy for life). Advertisements, TV, Movies - all you see is make-up, starved women, seemingly never a problem with money to pay for the mortgages and vacations, and the fact that all the pretty ones don't struggle as much as the rest. So what woman would not think that pleasing their man (their investment) has a lot to do with his sexual needs and what he sees when she gets out of the bathroom.

A woman that is comfortable, well off on her own, and absolutely not dependent on her mate would likely not feel all so threatened and perhaps sees porn as stimulation or even as a method of experiencing with her man. With no one else. It is only when porn replaces "making love" and turns into "sex" that the troubles are lurking everywhere.

In my case I just never opened another nasty message, knowing full well that I just cannot hurt my woman with something that cheap again. She is all I want and ever wanted, so my job was it to reassure her and just get rid of ll this outside junk. Unfortunately, one cannot get rid of all of the sex on TV and even the little ones have to put up with oversexed, unhealthy advertising and otherwise useless blondes showing their ying yangs everywhere.

I am with you. Some guys also realize what you try to say. But also be open minded.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 41
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is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 2:39:34 PM
Jetty, I find this statement of yours interesting...


If this is what porn was all about I wouldn't see a problem. But thats not the reality of it all. Porn has gone to extremes , and can only get more and more extreme.

Discovering each other naturally has lost its touch. I had a boyfriend that read a lot of porn and of course wanted to try it out. I really felt like a experiment instead of just doing what came naturally.


Porn or no porn, people have been doing very interesting and sometimes down right ummmm distasteful things since the beginning of man kind... They didn't have porn on the internet to figure it out either...

I was an x ray tech before the invent of internet porn, and some of the things I x rayed for as well as my co workers was MIND BLOWING...

This was ALL in the name of experimentation, and what gave them pleasure...

There are people that have a drive for things that to another is most disgusting, but they are willing to do it to please their partner...

Even more fascinating you brought of religions teaching monogamy, yep uh huh... I have read some raunch and male attitudes about how women are dangling sex as a carrot that claim to be members of major religions who supposedly believe in monogamy, but rules seem to be made to be broken..

I had also thought in my younger days these were things that had a valid point, Like no sex before marriage, and dang ended up marrying someone that had actual zilch for a sex drive... However he loved to dump oodles of money into going to the strip club... THAT was a blow to my self esteem and I really wondered what the heck I did wrong...

Not an absolute dang thing...

I am not picking at you, because after the OP reissued his complaint... People have been stating that it is wrong, and is destroying romance and intimacy...

A person addicted to it is an issue, however that doesn't mean the person is incapable of romance or intimacy but has an addiction problem... No worse than a drug or alchohol problem, no better..

If you haven't seen all that can be had out there in pornoland, I would have to tell you there isn't to many places of extreme that can be gotten too...

HOWEVER I do believe that people still can have romantic loving relationships, and not be addicted and ruining their intimacy through porn... In fact, as another poster said, you would be pretty surprised at how many women have no problem with accepting a little porn into their sex life... (Captian, girl on gril thing... Yeah no thanks LOL)

What one person considers ok and normal, may not be what another considers ok and normal... Blaming one industry as ruining people from romantic intimacy... That I am very hard pressed to agree with... JMHO
 clueblue
Joined: 5/10/2007
Msg: 42
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 3:20:47 PM
sorry im not replying to u but would like to say internet is wonderful place to meet people.
Some continue to look for that hole even if it means hurting the gf or spouse! My bf is not doing nothing but he has a profile here! Looking for other women! Hmm what do u say women? I say hes bord, lonly and can not tell me the truth because we have a 4yr old together! any shall chat with djw0322 tell him to fess up!!!
 clueblue
Joined: 5/10/2007
Msg: 43
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 3:23:29 PM
Hi sorry but i need to vent some where! Why not here! how sweet my bf has a profile here any one want to get with him! hes single and looking!!! but living with me!!! I guess i am stupid! any one chat with him hook him up!!! djw0322
 compactdisc
Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 44
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 3:28:21 PM
not so much internet porn but i can remember getting back to the womans house after going to the pub and all i wanted was a mug of tea and a choc biscuit , all she wanted to do was shove the porn dvd in and get down to it on the floor, i can remember saying could i drink my tea and eat my biccy first and also the porn dvd on the screen actually put me off and was a turn off too.

iam not a big viewer of porn at all but when i do i like to watch it on my own.
 PretaPorter
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 45
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 4:01:05 PM

brazilian shemale porn where surgically altered people perform extreme anal fistng and severe genital torture


Gosh that is terribly specific, you must have Googled it OP
 WeAre1
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 46
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is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 4:51:23 PM
dear male/female op (and i truly have no problem with cross dressers, so i mean no disrespect) - perhaps you should have checked out just what you were getting yourself into when you decided to start this thread. you need to realize no matter what you wish to receive from forum posting, you are always opening yourself up to the opinions of others, who probably are not gonna stroke your ego.....or other parts of you either when you are having a truly schizophrenic moment.
was it the 'good girl' side of you that wrote this thread, but the 'bad girl' side of you that wrote your profile?
as was already mentioned, your interests included "bdsm, s&m, femdom, dominant women, body worship, erotic massage, submission, and servitude ".
and the line pasted above is so graphic and detailed and horrific that i can't imagine the innocent and horrified 'decent female' you claim to be with your original post here is the 'real you'.
you got really nasty, you know, and there's no need for it.
don't get so angry with us when it's your own demons you seem to be fighting here.

and for the record, no, porn is not and has not ruined real intimacy in my relationships. has it for you ???? cuz when you write these lines, "i have never watched porn or bought a porn video or magazine.why? its just like a topless bar to me.i ain't going if i ain't participating"..... i wonder because it seems to me most of your interests are prime for porn filmmaking....really.
 Hearttune
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 47
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 6:06:31 PM
Guys are porn hounds. Okay, not all guys, but the statement stands. What did Camille Paglia say about men, the "cult of the eye".

The cat's out of the bag, and there's no getting it back in. Yes, there's just some stuff that people shouldn't see because it's like taking steel wool to your sensitivities. This is especially true when it comes to someone who is too young to handle it.

I don't know how parents these days can be expected to handle this. Christ, your kids are just a couple computer clicks away from a gangbang session. It's kinda sad, and I'm no prude.

When I was growing up, you had to work for your porn. It was a team effort. There were those standing watch, and those heisting the Penthouses from the mag rack.

These days, it's like the tacky porno shop on the dark side of town is in your children's rooms.

Ahhhhh....
 sweetazeyes
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 48
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 6:23:48 PM
i'm not fighting any "demons"
and i'm not looking for any answers about my profile or my likes or dislikes.i posed a question to start this thread and gave some of my thoughts on the subject.

i didn't browse the profiles of others making comments in this thread or other threads just so i could judge,analyze,berate,
belittle or attack them and/or their fantasies,lifestyle choices,etc.

i'll comment on your postings either in agreement or not in agreement.but i have not ever read a forum posters profile and proceeded to use that as a basis to assume why they have made comments and/or opinions in any thread they either started or replyed to.

my question was narrow in scope and was looking at the bigger picture of internet porn and how this has changed our views as a society on intimacy with our partners and expectations of loyalty an respect for those we choose to love and have intimate relationships with.
 southernlass
Joined: 5/2/2006
Msg: 49
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 6:52:49 PM

my question was narrow in scope and was looking at the bigger picture of internet porn and how this has changed our views as a society on intimacy with our partners and expectations of loyalty an respect for those we choose to love and have intimate relationships with.


Yes, your question was narrow and quite clear as far as I'm concerned. I'm sorry you've had to see the uglier side of humanity along with the extremely prejudicial aspect of hating on what they don't understand and likely fear. Hopefully you'll be able to get your thread back on topic now -- or we can be assured that one of the moderators will come along and delete the whole thing, which is really unfortunate because the topic is an important one.

People have no idea that the relationship they are destroying with their seemingly "innocent" use of pornography is their own. They have no idea that what they are doing to themselves is harmful and frankly, the majority do not care one way or the other. It's actually pretty pathetic.
 jimi77
Joined: 7/13/2004
Msg: 50
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 7:01:09 PM
I think it can.. i think it puts unreal expectations on people, for men it puts mental picture in there minds and lust in there hearts..
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