| | Do you wish the worst for your ex?Page 10 of 15 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15) | Nope, I wish him nothing but the best and during our breakup I did everything I could to make sure that things went well for him.
Life is way too short to do otherwise in our particular case.
Sign me,
Happy to be Mother Theresa forever in blue jeans | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 7/26/2008 4:16:48 PM | With my ex that cheated on me, I was thrilled to hear when bad things happened to her. Eventually I learned to forgive her for what she did & now I wish her the best. From what I hear she's married with 2 kids.
With my last ex, I wish her nothing but the best also. We were together for 5 years & things just didn't work out. We're just friends & actually we just went to go see the new Batman movie today.
IMO it takes more effort to me angry & hateful than it does to be nice & kind, even if someone does screw you over. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 7/26/2008 6:58:31 PM | All three of my ex's I wish nothing but the best for. #1 we have 3 kids together and I see her often and wish her well, we will always share the bond of our kids. #2 have had no contact with her for years but because we are from th esame town I hear about her and am happy she is on the path she wanted. #3 we see each other a lot our paths cross because of mutual friends and wierd as it may sound I told her I was a little miffed she didnt invite me to her up coming wedding. Hey I loved them all and I still do in a way so how could I even think about wishing them bad  | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 7/26/2008 7:48:25 PM | | I think my ex made the mistake of leaving when he could have been happy...his choice. I dont wish good or bad. I am happy myself so whatever happens to him is his own doing. Has no bearing on me at all. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 7/26/2008 7:52:22 PM | No. Life is too short to carry a grudge (those darned things are HEAVY!)
Him filing for divorce was one of the best things that ever happened to me. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 8/15/2008 1:12:29 AM |
Karma will deal with her in her own time.
Come on people. Stop with this karma b.s.
Karma is as real as the toothfairy.
Bad and good things happen to both bad and good people. Some people are just luckier than others at having more good things happen to them versus bad.
Explain karma to the 10 year old boy who is dying of terminal cancer. Did the kid do anything do deserve his fate?
As for the original question. Even with all the negative stuff my ex put me through I don't wish ill on her. Then again I don't wish that she becomes the richest or happiest woman in the world either.  | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 11/4/2008 2:57:20 AM | I think bucsgirl sums this up perfectly...
Honestly I don't think about anyone I've previously dated. I don't make an effort to keep in contact with them, so I would have no idea what is going on in their lives. Vice versa I have tried the chatty so "what's going on" but there's really no point to it.
I've always wished there were 600 hours in the day. Unfortunately, there are only 24 so I only have time to mind my own business. I can't be bothered to burn precious energy and time bothering about someone else's. The past is where it should be IN THE PAST.
I can't feel sympathy or empathy for someone who's been well informed and knows what the problem areas are and do nothing to the point I decided to call and end to it. What IS there to talk about, I take no pleasure or no revengeful pleasure knowing they're hurting or suffering regret. I won't put that on me, they knew what they needed to do or try to do to make it work. After that, it's history.
A perfectly healthy and logical viewpoint. This is a smart woman. If someone can't be bothered to heed advice/warning signs after 'the talk' then they have no-one but themselves to blame when the sheeeet hits the fan. If they want to spit venom at you that's their tough cheese. Wish them the best of luck with that. N-E-X-T!!!
...there's just some things you don't need to know or want to know. There's just no reason to, if it's someone that's no longer in your life....why the need/want for the info?
I agree with this wholeheartedly. What's the need for the info? Is it going to help pay your mortgage or other bills? NO. Is it going to put more money in your bank account? NO. Is it going to put food in your cupboards? NO. Is it going to remove that lump from your testicles? NO. Therefore, is there a point in having that info? Fooooking NO! Lol. Oh my God! I hear say. Wait for it...read on.
The way how I look at the whole ex thing is like this....(WARNING - this is graphic and somewhat disgusting but you'll get the point!).
When you go to the loo (toilet) you wipe your butt, flush, wash your hands, spray air freshner (and just to make sure you don't have any extra friends on yours hands...) you wash your hands again. OCD? Go figure.
The point is when you flush you *DON'T* scream (at least I hope so) "Oh Gaaawd!!! No! Somebody! Save ma turd! You DON'T then reach into the loo to grab the thing. NO YOU DO NOT!!! You do your business, wash your hands and get out. You leave the rest to sewer management/waste disposal department. You DO NOT start a 'save ma turd petition' with the accompanying placards.
Believe it or not - this is EXACTLY what you do when you reach back into the past. When you wish an ex ill-will in your heart or whatever this is the equivalent to reaching for that turd and taking it to bed with you. DO I HEAR YOU SAY EWWWWW???!! Exactly. You leave it where it belongs - in the sewer.
Point is....
(1) You get on with your life.
(2) There are only 24 hours in the day and NOT 600. Time is short. FOCUS ON YOUR BUSINESS. Don't be worried about what the ex is doing. Let him/her worry about that.
(3) If the ex is worried about your business and starts stalking.... GET A RESTRAINING ORDER (or an Interdict as we say in Scotland).
Much Love and Peace Brothers & Sisters :peace: :laugh: :smiles: | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 11/4/2008 3:04:52 AM | No, I don't. While there was hurt and in some cases betrayal, I don't wish harm to any human being.
People who wish the worst for others are only harming themselves by holding on to anger and negative feelings that prevent them from moving forward in their own lives. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 11/4/2008 5:48:21 AM |
While there was hurt and in some cases betrayal, I don't wish harm to any human being.
People who wish the worst for others are only harming themselves by holding on to anger and negative feelings that prevent them from moving forward in their own lives.
Correct, concise and cogent. Now, my ex, with the aid of a lawyer who specialized in whine, pushed the issue to midnight of the eve before a full evidentiary hearing, with witnesses. My trial strategy was to arrive in the courtroom first, with a 5-gallon bucket full of water. When she arrived, and took her seat at the table to my right, my plan was to jump up, run to her, and douse her with the full five gallons. If, as I suspected, she melted to a heap of clothes, Game Over. If not, I would turn to the aghast judge, shrug, and say, "Sorry". a la John Belushi in Animal House when he smashes the faux hippie guy's guitar. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 11/4/2008 6:05:16 AM | I have always been like that too..Make a clean break..it's best less there are kids....I just have always been like that..good luck to all on your journey on pof..Peace and light Liz N | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 11/4/2008 6:13:56 AM | Ok, background. My ex cheated on me, and strung me along for 3 months before I found out she was actually engaged to the guy! Even worse, I found out the guy she dated BEFORE me was strung on practically the entire time we were dating. Talk about trying to have "options". I suspect it's so she doesn't have to face the fear of being alone. She's since married the guy she screwed me over for, and he ain't happy now! 
So, what do I truly wish for her?
Simple, I wish (and firmly believe it will come to pass) that the guy before me moves on, the guy after me wises up and dumps her butt (then gets a nasty temporary disease from his revenge screw), and she winds up facing that worst fear of being totally alone!
Karma's a ****, baby.
Is it the "worst"? Actually, no! The guy before me gets out of a toxic relationship. The guy after me learns not to stick his unit where it doesn't belong (he knew the ex and I were together at the time). And she gets a chance to defeat this fear that's causing so many problems. As for me.... I don't get a damn thing out of the deal except a smile. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 11/4/2008 6:28:36 AM | Good Lord, NO!
How could you ever wish something bad for somebody you really love? Just because the timing was wrong or you didn't work as a couple, doesn't mean they aren't the same wonderful person you fell in love with!
I don't think I could ever stop loving any of my Ex's.....even tho I no longer IN love w/ them.
Tho, I supposed it does help if you pick quality people to begin with.....had I been w/ any real whackjobs, I might have a different viewpoint.  | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 11/4/2008 7:34:18 AM | | Who gives a damn? They're an ex for very good reason. Allow them to be someone else's problem, and live well! That's always been the best avenger! Love, Titus | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 11/4/2008 8:31:06 AM | | I Absolutely 100 % Do! This man left me after 2yrs and right after my mother passed away,thats Low,Inconsiderate and Unforgiveable,Oh and he definitely traded down! He hooked up with a very ugly ,nasty, woman with no morals or values!!{i think its a woman} | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 11/4/2008 9:12:41 AM |
Just because the timing was wrong or you didn't work as a couple, doesn't mean they aren't the same wonderful person you fell in love with!
Most people fall in love with the person on their best behavior. It's when we see someone at their worst that we have to decide whether or not it's worthwhile. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 11/4/2008 10:04:36 AM | | No, I wish the best for my ex. The surest sign that you hate someone is when the idea of them being happy and having fun pisses you off. And hate is NEVER a good thing. Especially for the hater. While you're wasting your time and energy hating someone (and possibly sacraficing your health in the process), they're probably partying! When you have been married to someone and have had children with them, they are going to be an important part of your life forever. So you have everything to gain and nothing to lose if they are happy. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 11/4/2008 10:04:57 AM | | True enoughm RH-o. Myself, I tend to know somebody for quite a while before I fall in love.....so maybe I have a different perspective. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 11/4/2008 10:19:29 AM | Well, I know this is VERY wrong but, YES. I wish the worst for my ex. Don't get me wrong. I don't want her to die or anything horrible but, I do hope she never gets another boyfriend. Girlfriends are fine.  | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 11/4/2008 10:37:21 AM | | Why should someone care what their ex does? I still care for both of my ex's and wish them the best. I had a beautiful child with each of them and just because it didn't work out between us, doesn't make them awful people. To be happy when things go bad for them is just wrong, IMO. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 11/4/2008 12:30:54 PM | I wish the best for my ex and have even done many things to make her life a better life.
If you really love someone.. how could you wish harm on them?? | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 11/4/2008 2:08:25 PM | | Personally what is in the past is.... well in the past, it's done and over with. I hold no hard feelings. I wish nothing but the best for my ex husband and ex boyfriends. A few of my ex boyfriends I've even gone on to have awesome friendships with. We as a couple may not have worked but that doesn't mean I wish ill things on them. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 11/4/2008 2:23:43 PM |
Some of us hold such animosity towards our exes. To the point of not ever wanting them to be happy. I wonder if we think that's healthy? Don't we have to let go of the past before we can truly look towards the future?.
I also wonder if it's just natural for us to feel a little strange, when we find out that someone we were involved with has moved on to another relationship, and seem happy?.
Is it ok for them to move on just as long as they are not trading up?
OP -- I'd say 75% of breakups involve someone trading up, or as we call it "better dealing" someone else. You're not gonna break it off with one partner, just to end up with the same situation only a different face behind it...that seems kinda pointless. Common sense indicates 75% of relationships that end, expect the other has better dealed you. Or you better dealed them, whichever. The other 25% just left because they wanted out, plain and simple. They're done with dating, or they're switching teams.
Whether you choose to believe or not, there's a lot of us that believe heavily in karma, and will never really wish bad or evil on someone, lest it come back to us in spades. Who wants that?! With the odd one-off/exception, I've always wished friends, family and lovers all the best if they're no longer part of my life, and have better dealed me. It's just easier than wishing them ill will and watching as that loathing consumes you from the inside out. It's never a pretty sight.
Even when my ex fiancé better dealed me, I wished her well. She has every right to be happy, and though it wasn't with me, she still has every right to it...however she sees it, and whoever she's with. If your partner's happiness ever meant a lick to you in the first place, you'd still wish them well even if it meant they were leaving you to find it. It just happens that way some times.
I'd be lying if I denied the inkling to see her fall on her face, or "get what she deserves"...but I accept that small part of the package, because you can't know love unless you know hate. That little bit of spite will always be there, but it's kept in check...as a balance to my wishing her all the best. Can't have one without the other.
Having it the other way around, where the spite is more dominant, will just eat away at you and has no benefit to your well being at all, so best not to let it overwhelm you.
Just be happy that they are happy. And just hope that they want the same for you.
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 11/4/2008 2:35:40 PM | I don't wish any ill will for an ex. I simply wish them the will and knowledge to learn from why we were an ex, as not to repeat, for the sake of themselves and the next partner they engage with.
I've heard of one going through another divorce, and did not think anything of it, with the exception of, "I'm glad that I knew better". Another ex, I had his next girlfriend, call me and ask about what she is experiencing with him to confirm what she wanted to deny. I told her, don't let him manipulate you, what your seeing and hearing, really is what it is and wished her well. After the conversation, again, I had one thought, "I'm glad that I'm out of that one". What is so weird, is that everyone of my ex's, have all gone through divorce. I've even had ex's call me when their relationship was going south and talk to me about it. Of coarse, I had to talk straight up with saying, no problem being an ear for you, but that is where the line is drawn and I did get respect from them in doing so.
All in all, if someone wishes the worst for an ex, they are still tied emotionally to that relationship, which makes them less available for anybody else. It's not a good sign when there is this sort of thing going on. | |
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