| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/3/2008 8:23:35 PM | I do not wish anything bad or worse than i want to be wish to me.........cause of karma...I
just don't understand after i did left him in 1998...he still feels like it was just yesterday.......
Time to let go... ...!!!........
10 years and counting!!!........... | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/3/2008 8:24:49 PM | one of my exs from a few years ago, was my first love. during the last few months of our already crumbling relationship, he was talking as friends with an acquaintance of mine.
after we split, he started dating her. i hated it!! she had lost a shitload of weight, she was gorgeous, happy go lucky chicky. i was jealous.
after about 2 years, i saw them a few times and heard through the grapevine about thier great relationship. in turn, i realized i was happy for him. he had found someone who made him happy, like the way he had made me happy. so in the end, i figured they were the perfect couple, bound for marriage.
after about 4 years....they broke up a few months ago...i was sad to hear it actually.
as for the past/future....i don't see a point of holding grudges. let it go...
as alicia keys puts it:
Yes I was burned, but I call it a lesson learned
Mistake overturned, so I call it a lesson learned
My soul has returned so I call it a lesson learned | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/3/2008 8:25:20 PM | I think OP it is a matter of just how deeply someone has hurt you and how long the effect of that hurt has had on your life.
If the injuries they have left you with physical, financial, etc are still heavily impacting your life then those injuries are still your present experience and no, you can't really move on. If someone broke your leg deliberately and you spent the rest of your life limping and in pain - how happy do you think you be for the perpetrator now going out dancing and living a pain free life to full? It depends on how much hurt was done. If you cannot imagine wishing someone ill in return - sorry, but you are just one of the fortunate ones to have escaped permanent injury from a relationship. You probably aren't in a position to judge if you haven't ever been this badly hurt.
You don't have to listen to the glee if it bothers you but she was obviously over the moon, be glad that she is glad. I leaped for joy and screamed whoo hoo - I just was soo incredibly happy when I heard my step-mother died - God, I would have to rank it the best news I've ever heard in my life. I am glad to say my ex was there - I will feel exactly the same way when he goes too and I would say he knows it.
Sometimes knowing karma really has returned someone their just deserts - is every bit as worth celebrating as a court decision that has gone your way.
Justice visited is indeed a joyous thing, buy a cake and go out to celebrate - it happens rarely enough in life.
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/3/2008 8:33:44 PM | No - it is not bitterness to be happy seeing someone reap their just rewards, you have simply wished them spiritual growth - how wonderful the experience will be for them!
It is a Christian wish indeed that they "grow" from the experience surely? Would you want a perpetrator to miss the growth opportunity they have bestowed on you? How selfish!  I hope their cheating infecting parts rot and fall off painfully and slowly!
Hell I would even visit them in hospital  | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/3/2008 8:38:24 PM | black velvet....Wow! GOOD Question!
As far as I am concerned....I wish ALL of my exes the very best with their future, with their life.....with Anything and EVERYthing. I don't EVER see it as some kind of betrayal when they (whether it's in their opinion or my own...lol...) "trade up" or "move on" or WHATever they do! To my way of thinking...well, I was not content in a relationship with that person, but I want them to find contentment, pleasure, LOVE in their lifetime. I've worked VERY hard on my self-esteem and discovering that I have value just the way I am. I am sorry to say..and I know it sounds mean and hateful, just give me a second to explain..... but the person (or the People!) who find it necessary to know that their ex- is miserable, is doing terribly, is a wreck without them....that person is only feeding off their exes pain because it helps them feel "good"! They probably don't even realize that's what they do....but for some reason...we all want everyone to be at the same "level" we are. And if someone DARES to go be happy AND be nice about it too??? Whoa! Look out...someone's gonna get mad about THAT too!
I went so long being the dork with NO dates but plenty of mean comments and degrading remarks thrown my way (for no reason except I was a DORK!) that I KNOW how it feels to feel like a reject and a complete loser! (I'm telling the truth!) But, now, somehow "growing up" made me realize that everyone wants the same things...love, a copmpanion, something to do that makes them feel worthwhile...etc...AND, anyone who disses other people is only doing that to TRY to find something about themselves to feel good about. It's there anyway, but for some reason they think that the only way they'll feel better is to trash someone else.....
You know there's a story about what happens when you go out to get a crab dinner for you and all your friends. You're walking along the beach and you find one crab and throw him in the basket. Now, you can walk up and down the coast ALLLLLL night without that O-N-E crab trying to "escape" your basket...but if you catch another one??? Well, one of the two will want out and the one in the BOTTOM of the basket will......grab the one climbing to pull him into the basket!!!! I'm tellling you the truth...People are JUST like that. No matter how many IQ points I've got...there are still some primitive, neanderthal cells in there that might make me act like an idiot at the wrong time. And those darn crabs don't know any different either. All they know is that if their "buddy" climbs out...they will be left alone to know that someone else "climbed higher and further" than they did..and perhaps it's the reminder of not wanting it as much and not trying as hard that people don't want to be faced with. (OR maybe their ex- was really an ass and they just SAY all that nice stuff until they have a chance to let loose??? Gosh...I got WAY philosophical hmmm??? Sorry to anyone who wades through THIS tripe...lol...Altho, I do think there's something to it...I should have said it with a LOT less words.)
Anyway, black velvet...I hope that perhaps this gives you another POV???? And good question...maybe the people who really don't need to waste their breath hatin' will be able to give it up now???...lol...I didn't think so either! What I say is every day I want my actions to be a statement of what kind of person I am and what I want for my life. When you think about it that way, even the little measly things take on some importance and you actually THINK before you ACT! It's a new way to do stuff if nothing else...Y'all be well!    | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/3/2008 8:39:16 PM | | While I do not speak to any of my exes, I do wish them happiness and the best. They are the past and I choose to live in the present and future. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/3/2008 8:40:36 PM | | fantasyartist you said...."Bitterness is the poison that eats away at the soul." (That's excellent by the way!) I heard someone say recently....that not being able to forgive is like drinking a glass of poison every day and just waiting for the OTHER person to get sick and die! Sad but true...I think. Thanks for reminding me of that! | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/3/2008 8:44:10 PM | This is a tough one. Like ladiesman said at first I was bitter, but now I'm cool with my ex, we chat on occasion. I don't have any hard feelings against her or anything, but sometimes I can't help, but feel a little satisfaction in seeing how things turned out. Short version is she wanted college/better job I encouraged her, she wanted to live up her young years dumped me, now she moves from dead end job to dead end job. And asks me for a reference lol. Sometimes I get the feeling like she may be wanting me back, but I don't know and don't really care that time for me has passed.
PS I don't give her a bad reference. In case anyone was wondering. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/3/2008 9:08:21 PM | No bad luck wishes on any long term women I have been with, because I truly loved them.
There are a couple of short termers that were just not nice though, and I have giggled a bit at some of their misfortunes. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/3/2008 9:24:38 PM | Hmmm....well, I look at it more in terms of the new woman; does she really know what she's getting into? My ex's wife (they've been married for 6 years now) called me before they got married and asked me all the important questions. She went into the marriage with her eyes wide open (or wide shut!) Typically, she's experiencing the same things we talked about. She's a great lady and I admire her for a number of reasons.
And no, I'm not one to hold animosity against others....it's just not my nature. There are some issues that are frustrating but I don't dwell on them. My life's too valuable to fixate on them.  | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/3/2008 9:30:02 PM | I didnt have to whish the worst for an ex, two months after her wedding it was over, but I did whish her well at the wedding. And had a good ole time getting drunk with her cousin and rest of the family.   | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/3/2008 9:32:24 PM | | Actually, I wish nothing but the best for my exes, no matter what the reason we split up was. I truly believe that if we had been meant for each other, we would still be together, so I hope they find the one they are meant to be with. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/3/2008 9:34:15 PM | Nope, I wish her the best. We both deserve to be happy. Happy elsewhere, rather than miserable together. I hope she lives a long healthy enjoyable life. We don't talk and I wouldn't consider us friends, but I still hope she has a good life.
Life is too short to be thinking or hoping bad things will happen to someone else. I think you end up with a chip on your shoulder, or bitter because of it. What will be, will be. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/3/2008 9:36:02 PM | | Well here goes, Im not gonna lie and sweet talk. I hope she finds something great and real, but what she gave up for what she has now........not a good trade. I feel bad for people who get involved in unhealthy relationships and situations. I have to wonder every day when I will get that phone call........... I pray for her every day, and when my daughter is with me we pray double hard. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/3/2008 9:45:16 PM | | Absolutely not. He's a good person who has had far too little happiness in his life and I hope very much that he has found someone who suits him perfectly and is very happy at last, as he deserves to be. If he was a mean jerk, I'd probably at some mischievous and mean level, feel some desire to know he got his comeuppance but since he wasn't, I don't. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/3/2008 9:45:56 PM | @black Velvet 46:
One thing I have learned, is that harboring bad feelings for anyone takes energy. Letting those feelings go is a weight off our shoulders. I'm not saying it's easy to let go, but it's a relief if you get there.
Sometimes when an ex winds up repeating a mistake (the same one we left him/her for), the "I told you so" factor is there as a sort of validation.
I believe in compatibility - someone who wasn't happy with me can surely wind up being happy with someone else. I chalk it up to compatibility as the main reason, and try not to take it personally. It has gotten easier in my later years, but it was hard when I was in my 20s to accept that. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/3/2008 10:00:47 PM | | For those who are going to judge someone as lesser for being thankful in karma returned ponder this for a moment. The creep that imprisoned his daughter in Austria committed an absolutely heinous crime - many are saying the death penalty is too good for him, that the sentence does not match the crime. Are you people really really saying heinous behaviour committed by men who abuse their wives and children - should ever be forgiven? Could you yourself really, really ever forgive and rejoice that someone like that seemingly got off scot free and found themselves with a partner they in no way deserve? It depends on what the ex did, and how it affects you today that should be a benchmark. Those who have moved on, probably haven't had their life chances completely demolished by a perpetrator, they've been left with the means to move on, not an unrecoverably diseased sickened body that precludes them from ever having another relationship and permanent ruin . There are, degrees. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/3/2008 10:22:12 PM | | I used to with my last ex. I'm more or less indifferent at this point. It's hard to care one way or the other now that we've both moved on with our lives. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/3/2008 11:05:46 PM | If she is getting pleasure from his misery, it means that there are still feelings there. Even if they are anger.
I have no feelings for my ex. We have been separated since last June, and frankly I don't care what he does. I am indifferent, which tells me that I made the right choice.
We don't talk, we aren't involved in each other's lives in any way, except maybe 2 emails in the last year to talk about our divorce. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/4/2008 12:12:08 AM | | I don't wish any ill will towards anyone, least of all any of my ex-girlfriends. The way I see it is that everything happens for a reason and since we broke up we are obviously meant for someone else. Therefore, I wish them nothing but the best in their search for happiness. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex
Posted: 5/4/2008 12:37:05 AM | Do you wish the worst for your ex
Its only when you wish the your Ex the best and good luck, and wave bye, is when you have in your heart, , truly let go and moved on, only then can you say you have no baggage, luggage. That luggage on a dreadful long haul flight you once were on.
It’s nice to move on. It’s fun... Love it | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex
Posted: 5/4/2008 5:30:29 AM | I wish my ex well.
We all went though stuff thats why we have exes.
Some had it worse than others.
The past is gone
The present & future is Ours.
What goes around comes around. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex
Posted: 5/4/2008 5:42:59 AM | What goes around comes around.
Thats for the exes who have done some pretty bad stuff to their partners.
Im at peace.
I let go long ago.
I chose to leave and move on.
Took me awhile tho to leave.
You know stay for the kids..... these days my view has changed on that. | |
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