| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/4/2008 2:16:09 PM | | You said that right alexis...when they are ex's leave 'em there. As long as you wish for , or want the worst for them or ANYONE, they still have some control in your life... | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/4/2008 2:20:36 PM | I'm friends with my ex and we have a child together. I wish him only happiness. We had an amicable divorce, and neither of us have any bitter feelings toward one another. I've never been the type of person who harbors ill feelings toward another. Life is too short for that.  | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/4/2008 5:30:08 PM | "I'd rather be laughing and looking forward than crying and looking back"
Well said...Too bad most of us don't look at life that way. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/4/2008 5:35:22 PM | | I alwasy wished the best for my ex. I even asked the lord to give him a lady that would make his life fulfilled and happy. he was a good man. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/4/2008 7:08:35 PM | When I heard he was having a tough time and was unhappy in his new marriage, it just made me sad. I love my (current) life, and I love the memories I have of the years we were happy together. I wouldn't have him back for anything but I'd never wish him anything but happiness.
Regretfully, it took me awhile to get here - I think some of us have to go through some growing and soul searching early on after a breakup. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/4/2008 7:15:47 PM |
Is it ok for them to move on just as long as they are not trading up? Even if my ex 'traded up', I would still not wish him anything but the best. I look back in gratitude that I learned a great deal about myself during my time with him, and even though I would never ever want to be with him again, there's no reason I should want unhappiness for him.
Of course we're allowed to hold animosity towards exes, that's why we're exes Yes we are exes for a reason, but why hang onto negative stuff? It doesn't improve the situation for us, and it certainly doesn't get any sort of 'revenge' if that's the intention.
Live, learn, let go, and live ... (yes it repeats) | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/4/2008 7:20:05 PM | Trading up/down or whatever. He has now learned that someone too young for him he has nothing in common with. Sad for him it's over just like that.
Your friend, hopefully will move on and find her own happiness. It sounds like she still has baggage when it comes to him.
We all deal with breakups differently.
I prefer this as to this | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/4/2008 7:23:08 PM | I didnt read every post, Im just going to reply to the OP. My ex-husband is a good man and I hope he finds peace and happiness. Things have been tough for him lately and I feel honored that he trusts me enough to confide in me about his problems.
Hell, I married him, he's my friend. I keep encouraging him to find someone younger and have a family because that was something he wanted before he met me. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/4/2008 7:57:14 PM | Do I wish ill will upon my exes? No.
Have I stooped low enough to snicker at their misfortunes? On rare occasions. It's not something I'm necessarily proud of, but sometimes it's nice to be reassured that I dodged a bullet or three. On the whole, though, it's not as if I seek information on them. They are out of my life for a reason. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/4/2008 9:25:06 PM | | I wish the worse for my ex, frankly... I don't want to see him happy. I can admit that. I told him I wished him happiness and the best, but I don't. And if he greats his heartbroken i'd probably find myself giddy..not wanting him back at all just glad that he wasn't happy with someone else. My biggest fear is him being a better man/husband to someone else because I would wonder why I wasn't good enough to deserve a "good" side of him. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/4/2008 9:36:41 PM | My ex has married several times since we were married many years agao and I always groan when I hear he is getting divorced again. It was always a worry for me about who would be my son's next step mom...my thoughts were...."why can't he just stay and make it work with someone".....
In the past two marriages he has been in I've hoped in my heart they would work.....the marriage he had after us...I pretty much tolerated that one...she was very differnt in personality from me and think we had hard time understanding one another....and i alway scratched my head at being with her...but never wished bad things on him...
I think with some people who have not truly figured out the things that caused their marriages to fail.....if someone else has a success with their former spouse they may see it as a failure to their own efforts (having trouble wording that...lol) and so when the marriage fails they have this kinda strange reponse like u've sited op.....(wow bet that doesn't make sense to some...having trouble gettin this in words) | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/4/2008 9:53:44 PM | | Even as bad my ex treated me-...I don't wish the worst for him. When he got married to his 2nd wife- I was happy for him. ( More like thank goodness, maybe now he will stay away from me) When it ended in divorce- deep down I was kind of glad, because then I didn't feel like it was just me he treated that bad. Same went for his 3rd and 4th wife...I felt the same way. I am sorry it didn't work out for him- but then again it just re-affirmed myself that it wasn't me. Which all along I knew it was never me- but when someone is abused, your self esteem kind of plummets to the bottom. But now, it's right back on top just knowing I'm just right..:):) | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/4/2008 10:05:57 PM | How do people get married three, four, five times? I did it once. I might do it again if I meet someone super duper special, but I swear if I cant make a second marriage work I wouldnt even consider a third.
I like to think I learned enough the first time to understand how to make it work now.
The second one better stick or I'm taking myself to a convent. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/4/2008 10:12:24 PM | ^^^"How do people get married three, four, five times? "
some never learn from their failures. they just prefer to justify them...instead of changing and growing from failure.
i could care less the worst or bad for my ex. havent had contact with her either since the divorce 12 years ago. she wanted to be a friend after divorce...and i said no way...you were not a friend in marriage. i do know this for sure...she hasnt even come close to coming close to finding somene as dedicated, loyal, forgiving, loving, caring, committed, and trustworthy as i was to her. she chose to listen to all her 'friends' going thru divorce and decided to join em. now all these 'friends' are history | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/4/2008 10:26:19 PM | Closing one door will open another. I'm not going to lie and say it's easy to move forward - it takes alot of strength. By "strength" I don't mean denying all the hurt or pain - but to accept what has happened and learn from it. Allow yourself to grieve but don't dwell. Why make yourself miserable by wishing the worst on your ex? It just brings you down and surrounds you with nothing but negativity. It takes time but realizing that it does helps. ;)
I've noticed that it takes most longer to "get over it" but we're all HUMAN. One day at a time and just hold true to oneself. Make yourself happy first and foremost and LOVE will come and YES "when you least expect it". | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/4/2008 11:05:33 PM | black velvet 46, what a great subject!!! I'm really glad I saw this thread.
I've been divorced 4 times and I can honestly say that I don't wish anything bad for the three who are still living. I hope they all went on to find happiness with whomever they ended up with. Life is too short and precarious to wish misfortune on others. Karma will come back and bite you in the @ss! Besides, the best revenge is living well. You can't do that if you spend your time wishing the worst for others or gloating about their misfortune.
And, hey, I drive a Dodge Neon and I really love it!! And with gas prices skyrocketing, it's looking better and better. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/4/2008 11:44:45 PM | I'd have to agree with you on many of your points. Men emotion wise are completely different than women. We don't think about our ex's for an extended period of time. We move on quick and most of the time could care less what our ex's are up to. Women on the other hand can hold a grudge for years. I really don't think most women sit around all day building voodoo dolls of ex's and setting them on fire but I'm sure they hope they are happy. Expecially if they were cheated on or dumped for another girl and since this happens a lot I guess there are a lot of women out there who do wish ill will towards their ex. But like you said if your next relationship is better and you are happy you definitely wont be wishing for anythign for your ex because most people care more about their own happiness than what the hell their ex is up to.
I don't dwell on any of my ex's. I'm sure they have moved on like I have and don't think about me at all. But hey its just my opinion.
PS TheEmeraldTeardrop - I tried sending you a long ass message but it won't go through so send me a message somtime if you want to | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/5/2008 12:45:09 AM | I don't like my ex because of what he done to us and does to everyone. He is an arsehole and admitted it one day without going into detail. I don't care what he does or how he does it as long as he is leaving us alone. I don't wish the worst for him because he is his own worst enemy anyway. Lifes too short to waste so much time and energy on wishing bad things upon others.It's more fun to deal with it and get on with life. | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/5/2008 1:17:20 AM | Black Velvet,
I'm with you on this one...I just don't understand why people put so much energy into wishing bad things on their ex. Or, even talking bad about them! I mean, there was something about that person that you found attractive or you wouldn't have let them in your life.
All that anger is not good for a person and to wish ill on someone else... Well, makes me wonder when they are going to wishing ill on the next person in their life? Unfortunately, there are a lot of people out there who are holding on to their ex'es by holding on to their anger. Either that, or they are "married at a distance", meaning the only thing that changed when they got divorced was that they have another piece of paper.
I've got better things to do than keep up with my ex'es....like looking for my next'es.... | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/5/2008 2:23:39 AM | | i dont have time to think about my ex. i'm far to busy having fun. got to change my phone number so she stops ringing me... | |
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/5/2008 2:43:04 AM | NEVER wished anyone bad things ... For about 15 years I wanted my ex to come back (thank God that stoped lol) ... I always hoped he was ok and for the last several years I hoped he had luv , joy and happiness ... I have to admit tho when I found out 2 yrs ago that he was on his " 5th " wife ( I was his 2nd) I did do a little dance ... LOL ... Now I just hope he doesnt hurt her like he did me and he will be with her always ...
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| Do you wish the worst for your ex?
Posted: 5/5/2008 2:53:13 AM | i never wished anyone anything bad
i never wished for my ex anything bad..........
in that case-what u told-she can worry abou her ex,bcz once they loved each other,
they lived together,they have kids-and bcz all of this it is ok/normal that she worries about him  | |
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