| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/7/2008 10:36:46 AM | Hey pokerjimmy:
Is that what your friends tell you to do when you ask them: should I sleep with her or not? Do they say POKER JIMMY!!!!
LOL sorry, couldn't let that one slip by...... | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/7/2008 1:29:16 PM | If a woman told you that you were, " not good enough for her" how would you take it? Would it hurt your feelings? Would you assume she was referring to your social or economic status rather than merely your character? It depends. Very often negative comments one makes to you are actually a self-evaluation. So if a woman told me this, very often I'd think she has low self-esteem. | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/7/2008 2:29:43 PM |
I'm trying to figure out if he really meant the things he said or if he was just hurt.
If you really told him he wasn't good enough for you, then he meant it in earnest.
Because you really are a bytch. | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/7/2008 2:37:58 PM | | It's the only reaction that some men can give to women that are ignorant enough to say such a thing. Would you rather men punch you in the face, or choke you? Unfortunately, that is unacceptable in society and men have no other means of hurting you like you may have just hurt their ego. How would you like it if a man told you that you weren't good enough for them? How would you react? | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/7/2008 4:12:20 PM | I don't know how I'd end up loving and caring about a woman who was capable of treating me like that, but assuming I did, I'd be pretty unhappy about the rudeness and casual cruelty of "you're not good enough for me" and hurt regardless of what she was referring to. it would be a pretty nasty thing to say I think.
I guess to see how a man would feel, simply reverse the situation, imagine yourself in love with someone and them casually telling you "You're too fat, your dull and I'm way out of your league" or something similar | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/7/2008 5:31:59 PM | Ok, I had a moron moment and totally misread that question.
That is pretty much an insult to the person you are saying it to. You really need to word it in a way that is telling that person what you are seeing about him that is not good enough... | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/7/2008 7:22:15 PM |
but I am very confused/curious as to why a man would say awful things to someone he claims to love/care about/like ?
That is why he lashes out...he probably feels like why would a girl that claims/acts or has told me she loves me turn around and tell me I am not good enough for her anymore. Rejection is bad, but being rejected by someone you love is so much worse. Most guys react with anger when someone hurts them...its not until later the pain sets in and they cry about it. When the tables are turned a woman would cry first, get angry later. Women and men do not treat situations the same the majority of the time. | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/8/2008 2:17:52 AM | You get the award for the most insensitive and dumbest question. Oh, does that hurt your feelings?
OMG; women do the same thing; I told one women I didnt' think we were compatible and she called me a racial slur; stop acting like one sex is bad and the other is good. Men and women say hurtful things sometimes.
Just telling someone you think you are better than they are, is arrogant, self absorbed and extremely insensitive. All you have to say is I dont think we are compatible but I wish you well. You seem like a good guy; not, I'm better than you. LOL
wow; and we wonder why the divorce rate and break up rate is so high and people have so many problems dating. | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/8/2008 7:55:08 AM | My response would be simple. Ha ha ha! You're a moron.
That was addressed to a fictional woman, not the OP. As far as I know, she hasn't ever said that to me.
On the other hand, anytime somone dumps you it means the following: You're not good enough, You're not worth it, I just don't want you.
Let's not pretend that isn't true, if it wasn't, why would we break up with people?
In general, I don't think we men react any worse than women do. People don't like getting hurt, being played, duped or otherwise feeling they are inadequate.
I learned a long time ago that when somone leaves you, they're doing you a favor. Why would you want someone who doesn't want you? Why be upset over it, at least in the long term? | |
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sgtd34
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Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 88 | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/8/2008 8:32:42 AM | It is sad that we are so honest about what we want but in the long run it hurts less and a mature man would take it in stride we do when they dont tell us they just replace us...At least we tell them and move on..and again some men are not men they are hurt little boys and it gets ugly.. | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/8/2008 9:02:54 AM | Not good enough for you????? Are you for real?......
What happened to tact and consideration? Could you not say, that our match is just not a good one at this time? Or something like, the chemistry just never developed?
Do you need to get off by stepping on the downed bodies of those that tried with you? What ever your thoughts are, there are ways to handle it to let that person leave with some self esteem.
Remember that most communication courses will teach you that many many times, it is not what you say, but how you say it........
Just my opinion........   | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/8/2008 9:13:33 AM | It is sad that we are so honest about what we want What's even sadder is when a woman volunteers to remain in a relationship with a guy who she clearly isn't interested in a long-term sense and then uses the catch phrase "you're not good enough for me" as a crutch for her poor communication skills and as a relationship breakup excuse. When she should have had the common sense not to date the guy in the first place or to tell the guy of the areas he needed to improve in order for her to stay in the relationship. | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/8/2008 9:32:07 AM |
It is sad that we are so honest about what we want Yeah, it's so sad when you insult someone and they don't accept it like a fingerpoke up the ass during a rectal exam. "Thank you, doc, I needed that!" Why won't they just take it like a man??? [ever notice it's women who define what a man is?]
It's not honesty, darlin', it's crassness. It's inconsiderate. And the fact you've survived 56 years with this attitude is testimony to the kindness of those who you've boldly insulted not to kick the shit out of you. This is what a man would likely do to another man who was being "brutally honest" with him. | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/8/2008 12:50:26 PM | oceancowgirl9, msg 89:
It is sad that we are so honest about what we want but in the long run it hurts less and a mature man would take it in stride we do when they dont tell us they just replace us...At least we tell them and move on..and again some men are not men they are hurt little boys and it gets ugly..
If you were my grandma, I'd never visit you. | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/8/2008 5:33:49 PM | | I would think she was an idiot i dont think there is a woman that is too good for me Ive done alot of great things in my life already and im only almost 20, I know im a good person and I am successful so it would be her loss | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/8/2008 5:43:05 PM | | If I was told I was not good enough for someone,it would strike me as she thinks shes so special that she would be of no interest to me,since I'd need a ladder to get to the pedestal she placed herself on.Now if it was reworded as if we had little in common or she was saying she was looking for a highly educated man ,a phd,or one with a masters,someone as well schooled as she for common ground,it wouldn't strike a single nerve of mine and be completely understandable. | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/8/2008 9:55:48 PM | So, let me get this straight...
Woman tells man: "You're not good enough for me"
Man reacts with anger.
Woman thinks "I thought this guy loved me, what a stupid reaction he's having."
Um...you INSULTED him.
Would you assume she was referring to your social or economic status rather than merely your character? You think that ANY of these are good reasons to say this to someone?
I would be deeply hurt and angry if someone I cared about said this to me. I can't believe someone needs to ask this question.
It's like I don't know if I can forgive for what he said, you know, he said the b-word, and a sh*t load of other hurtful misc. things, especially all the gut wrenching words that really hurt a woman. GASP! No! He called you a bitch? For insulting him? Wow! What a jerk.
Do you really think he needs your forgiveness? You're too good for him, remember? So you don't need to forgive him.
Some people's children...
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/8/2008 10:09:29 PM | | OP are you seeing a pattern here about 95% of the respondents said you insulted him by using those words,and it was a cold way to handle it and made you look bad.Wonder if 90 peoples opinions will change your heart the next time you deal with letting a guy down easy,cause he needs to hear the truth,and a few of you ladies that responded,wow shame on you to.....man its cold in here,need to put on a coat | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/8/2008 10:30:49 PM | I suppose this is just piling on, but here it goes:
Would you assume she was referring to your social or economic status rather than merely your character? merely my character? Say what ever you want about my social or economic status. We can both joke about how miserable it is. But if you question my character then you question the heart of who I am. How shallow your relationships must be if you think that social and economic status are to be respected but character is ok to trash.
Did you tell this guy when you met him how long he had to disclose all of his personal history to you? Maybe he didn't realize he had missed your deadline. | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/8/2008 11:30:31 PM | theinnerdark said:
On the other hand, anytime somone dumps you it means the following: You're not good enough, You're not worth it, I just don't want you. It's not true. Sometimes, even if you love someone and think they are a wonderful person, it doesn't mean the two of you can truly relate to each other or be happy in a relationship together. That's not because one is inferior or even considered inferior by the other, it's just that you don't match. Translating the end of a relationship in terms of them judging you to be "not good enough" is destructive and just plain wrong. When you have to end a relationship with a wonderful lass who is just not in harmony with you, to prevent the two of you making each other miserable, you'll understand this better. | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/8/2008 11:52:23 PM |
Just telling someone you think you are better than they are, is arrogant, self absorbed and extremely insensitive. All you have to say is I dont think we are compatible but I wish you well. You seem like a good guy; not, I'm better than you.
Agree 100% with mt.
It's not honesty, darlin', it's crassness. It's inconsiderate. And the fact you've survived 56 years with this attitude is testimony to the kindness of those who you've boldly insulted not to kick the shit out of you. This is what a man would likely do to another man who was being "brutally honest" with him.
Agree 100% with schaden.
OP, I would encourage you to take a communication skills class, and while you're there, take a psychology class too. Saying to another human being, "you're not good enough for me" is hurtful, demeaning, attacking, belittling, and just plain mean spirited. Personally, I think your comment to him says a lot more about you than it does about him. As for his reaction, who could blame him? When someone attacks you, the natural reaction is to lash out. I think you need to learn to express your feelings without doing it at the expense of another person. (You'll learn this in your communication skills class).
Unbelievable. | |
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