| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/4/2008 5:07:48 PM | Just be yourself, if she likes you, you can be a doorknob and still get a goodnight kiss. | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/4/2008 5:42:33 PM | | Regarding number 5..... From my experience it is very important that the person you met ont he date sends a quick note saying what a great time they had; or a thank you very much but it isn't what I was looking for. I have gone out on dates and I thought it went well, but haven't heard a peep since. So out of respect let the other person know. | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/4/2008 6:04:01 PM | | Well hell tigerlilly, why don't we all meet in parking lots...would that be more to your liking? lol | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/4/2008 6:05:34 PM | Don't we all really know the answer to this one? Just be yourself is the simplest/best advice, but sometimes that's easier said than done. We all want what we want, when we want, how we want. The trick is finding that special someone that has the same wants, and noone has the answer to that question.
The game playing is what hurts everyone in the dating pool. We're all hypocrites aren't we? "Thanks. I had a great time. I'll call you." Anyone who has dated has been on both sides of this statement and we never seem to learn that we get what we give.
First date, fifth date, 10th yr., relationships take work from both sides and if you're not willing to work and your partner is not willing to work then guess what....? It don't work.
Feel good about yourself. If you don't know that you are a good an honorable person then do what needs to be done to make yourself into that person. The only person in this life that can ever validate you is YOU. Only after we've achieved that little gem can we expect to be truly happy with someone else in our lives. Until then it's a needle in a haystack and you just keep searching.
Now before I follow my own advice and get to work on me, anybody want some cheap meaningless sexual encounter? I'll buy the drinks.  
Good luck to us all | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/4/2008 9:50:33 PM | | I really think it depends on your comfort level! Do what makes you comfortable and allow her the same! Be yourself! Ask if your not sure! Communication is huge and if you can do this from the get go...good on you! I believe that men who open doors and ask before they "touch" are truly gentlemen. I would go out with you! | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/4/2008 10:17:32 PM | Hello fellow posters,
I think that who ever does the asking out for the date should pay. But I also think the the one who is asked out should at least offer to pay for their own. After a date or two, if I ask them out to a show, play or something I'll try to pay for the tickets in advance. There really is no "set in concrete" way to do things now days.
As far as greetings go, it depends on how close you have become through emails and phone calls before that first date. Some people make you feel like you have known them forever and it just feels natual to greet them with a hug or a kiss on the cheek. Other times it would not be appropriate or welcomed, for this you have to learn to read body language.
Warmest regards,
Teri | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/5/2008 1:39:24 AM | | I pay for everything on the first date. It was just how I was brought up. I also always go for a hug, I love hugs. | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/5/2008 12:54:24 PM |
I think the reason this site reminds me of a sleezy bar is because of this type of post......
Its all about drinks and dinners and who pays, how soon befoe you get physical, its trashy..........
Why does a first date have to be the same as if you just met in a bar........
How about this its not approprite to have a first date that involves meals or drinks being purchased in the first place, forget physical contact, you dont know the person.
Why cant people be creative and find something else to do, why does it have to all be so fake and rehearsed........
Surley you can find something to do that doesnt involve drinking and eating and physical contact on the first date........ Does the date have to have cost money
Its ridiculous and its trashy.......... " [quote/]
Opinions that will give me a guiding hand would be most useful, we're not all as savvy and clever as you tigerlily. To me, being a guy means you hold doors open, pay, be nice - luckily that's in my nature anyway and it's not some put-on, pathetic, lapdog cum doormat act to get into some girl's pants. I've had the fortune to have been brought up to be myself with people, for better or for worse, I was just throwing it out there to see what people thought and if there were any pitfalls I should avoid, like I say I'm not hugely experienced in the dating game and some advice from people who might have more of a clue than me would be most welcome. As it happens, her profile (not on this site, I'm not so naive as that) says she likes****ails, so what's actually wrong with going to a****ail bar where we can talk, where I can find out if she's the person I want standing next to me at gigs, in museums, sitting with me at restaurants etc. We all have different agendas. Sorry mine are so repulsive to you. | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/5/2008 1:18:39 PM | I'm Canadian and I sure like a hug. I'll offer to pay as well, just in case, but won't insist.
Just be you. The last date I went on, we took my shep for a walk, in the meantime, he said he was dating and bringing them down to a "short list". Like a freakin interview for a job. Needless to say, I wanted to kick him in the nads,so, no hug, no handshake, just see ya, and hope the dog doesn't bite you on your way out!
He said he loved the outdoors, so that's why the walk. | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/5/2008 2:33:23 PM |
obviously the drinks are on me Only if you invited the lady out for drinks.
but what do you think is appropriate as a greeting. As a guy who doesn't have that much experience on the first date front do you think a peck on the cheek is appropriate Ok I'd say a hug would be sort of universally accepted. If she's not immediately "striking your fancy", so to speak, make it a quick hug. If she "does it for you", let that hug linger just a little bit.
(a handshake is probably just silly and a bit too British) I'm a firm believer in "when in Rome, do as the Romans".
and what should the parting bit be? That depends on how good the date was! 
Do I have to laugh at everything she says Not unless she's a natural comedian.
Any hints? Have fun.
If she offers to buy a drink do I let her Geez if you find a woman who offers to buy a drink, take her up on that! | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/5/2008 4:01:37 PM |
Geez if you find a woman who offers to buy a drink, take her up on that!
Now, now, now - you know that is not a good idea! | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/5/2008 5:48:51 PM | Are the old ways still acceptable? There was a time when you'd greet a lady by taking her hand, then while bringing it up to kiss you'd compliment her saying something like "you look lovely this evening." Then the evening would progress from there, ending in walking her to her door with the man going in for a kiss and the woman allowing it if things went well, turning her head away if they didn't.
What would the reaction be to a kiss on the hand at the beginning? Or opening her car door for her? Or even driving her to and from the date? Are the old ways still accepted, or am I an anachronism? | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/5/2008 10:53:34 PM | I was out of the dating scene for a while, and I never really was much of a dater before, so I'm definitely confused about first date etiquette, primarily how to end the date. I had a first date with someone last year that ended awkwardly. I really didn't know what to do! The date went pretty well. I didn't want to shake her hand...too cold and formal. I didn't want to give her a hug because I thought that said, "Let's be friends." But then I also thought going for a kiss on a first date was a bit presumptuous.
I sent her an email as soon as I got home and explained all of that. She thought it was pretty funny and we ended up dating for a few months. So, my first-date etiquette confusion didn't do any long term damage. | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/5/2008 11:55:32 PM | | You really have to go in any preconceived notions here. Women vary so much. Personally, I think that a warm hello and solid, tight, eye contact is good for a greeting if you're a shy guy on a legitimate first date. Then just let it flow. If you try to keep things to a plan or a schedule you won't have as much success and you will definitely not enjoy yourself as much. | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/6/2008 12:40:17 AM |
I have had discussions on how people who live closer to the equator tend to be very comfortable with being close to other people (physically; generally in any setting) whereas the farther north of the equator you go, the farther apart people become & tend to prefer it that way.
This is true and I think I know the reason. The average land to person ratio typically gets smaller the closer to the equator you get. The statistic for most south americans is one person for every 1/4 mile of land. For Americans it is about 1 person for every mile but for us Canadians statistically we have 1 person for every 52km (83.2 miles)! Obviously we are used to lots of space! | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/6/2008 1:55:32 AM | | I agree and when a guy asks me if I want to go Dutch, I make sure I wear my clogs | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/6/2008 8:55:55 AM | By the time you're ready for the first meet/date you should have spoken to her on the phone and be able to gauge what type of person she is and if physical contact is acceptable to her.
This is what I like on my first meets someone who is friendly, and who opens the door for me. If someone is interested, they state they are interested or show me in their actions toward me, but in a gentlemanlike manner. (Wow you look great)
I love it when we had a great time and he text messages me while I am driving home to tell me he had a wonderful time.
They hug me goodnight and ask to kiss me. Don't assume I want you to stick your tongue down my throat, make it only a gentle kiss.
Someone who will call the next day and ask for another date. If a man waits for three days to get back with me after a great date, he will find himself out of luck, I will be on another date. Unless of course there are excruciating circumstances such as...he is dead or something :) | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/6/2008 10:36:14 AM | Hi Simoene.
I live in Argentina,so my point of view about dating may differ quite a lot.(Yes!It seems that our culture varies a lot from yours in some aspects). But one thing is common to every culture: BE YOURSELF!!.BE NATURAL! behave as you feel, don't think too much about what to do or not to do.It is just a date.
As regards paying ,I like the man paying for a cup of coffee /drink the first time I meet him. It is courtesy for me.(Besides he won't be richer nor poorer if he pays a for a coffee).-
All the best for you.
mariacba | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/6/2008 11:24:02 AM | I think Nona offered you some great insights.
As time going by ~ you can build on your success. ~ Success becoming someone that's a joy to be around and you don't have to wave 100 dollar bills around to get someone to pay you attention.
I love to tease and cut up ~ but I establish a non aggressive, non treating repour first. ~ I never enjoyed deep tongues myself. I tease the girls playing the 8 liners ~ telling them ~they'd have much better luck if they'd sit in my lap. ~ Keep it light and fun
Touchy feelie ~ comes little at a time and need to be reciprocated or don't do it.
If it's "not there" ~ don't push it ~~ and above all ~ don't place a lot of hopes and dreams in a total stranger. ~~ Hope for the best and be willing to accept the worst.
You owe each other, nothing but mutual respect ~ if it's not forthcoming , cease & desist at the earliest opportunity , being nonconfrontal but firm.
I've been exposed to ladies ~that I 'd refuse to ride in the same car with. ~ You never know what they are going to do ~ and can turn on you in a heartbeat. ~~ Few things worst then being in a car with a crazy woman on a public street. ~ They start of pleasant enough ~ a drink or two ~ and it worse then trying to give a cat a bath. ~
an out of control mouth ~ I refuse to deal with. I call it quick ~ In the the first 200 ft. and they have annoyed me ~ I back up , park and get out of the car or just circle the block.
It is one in fifty ~ but it happen to every man out there at some point in your life. Just know how to handle yourself in these situations, ~ and make the call quickly, before she can think about it. ~ She's out to stir you up some misery for rejecting her behavior.
Hope I havn't scared you ~ dance | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/6/2008 3:10:25 PM | | IMO there shouldn't be any first date "rules" or "etiquette" except for any behavior that would be rude or illegal in any situation. Everybody has different tastes and viewpoints. | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/8/2008 7:03:49 AM |
IMO there shouldn't be any first date "rules" or "etiquette" except for any behavior that would be rude or illegal in any situation. Everybody has different tastes and viewpoints.
Not rules ~ etiquette
and thats what the OP ask about ~ excellent thread ~ for the rusty ones or confused ones
one bad expericence ~ with a nut case for someone just getting started back on the date scene~ and this issue comes forward ~ like WTF!
etiquette ~ accepted manners ~ approperiate behavior ~
there is always room for improvment in this area. `
to hone the skills of social self ~ dance | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/8/2008 9:31:33 AM |
etiquette ~ accepted manners ~ approperiate behavior ~
there is always room for improvment in this area. `
My point is simply this. One person might consider a certain thing to be rude or inappriorate. Another person could care less about the very same thing. | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/8/2008 9:33:32 AM | | No one could confuse courtesy and good manners as rude or inappropriate. | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/8/2008 10:43:15 AM | No one could confuse courtesy and good manners as rude or inappropriate.
I beg to differ. Here are a few examples. Some women think that it's good manners for the man to pay the entire the bill. Other women could care less about who pays the bill. Some women think a hug at the beginning of the date is appriorate. Other women would think that a man is coming on too strong if he gives a hug at the beginning of the date. | |
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