| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/8/2008 3:26:15 PM | It would be good manners for a woman to happily pay half the bill if he asked her to. It would also be good manners for the man to pay the whole lot. Not sure how I feel if the woman paid everything - I think that would be an indication that the date didn't go well! But if she decided to pay it, or indeed was asked to pay it, or offered to go Dutch - then it would also be good manners for the man to say 'thanks'.
Any form of physical contact is individual to the people concerned, there are no hard and fast rules - but I guess etiquette would be to say 'do you mind' or 'would you like'.
You can usually get a feel for people as to whether they feel comfortable with being touched or whether you need to hold back. There are no hard and fast rules, but a date should be about a budding romance and not a platonic friendship, and some sort of physical touch sets this apart and hopefully plants a seed of excitement in the receiver that there might be nicer things to come! | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/9/2008 1:06:26 PM |
Other women would think that a man is coming on too strong if he gives a hug at the beginning of the date.
Exactly. Remember, one woman in this thread has already said that she doesn't want any physical contact beyond the shaking of hands on a first date. I guess it comes down to paying close attention during the date and learning to quickly judge what is appropriate for each situation. Not that I'm any good at that! | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/9/2008 2:02:03 PM | | From Australia where the saying is that we are very casual, the end result is "we are on a date" maybe a get to know you date or maybe as a result of many on line or telephone conversations...meeting is always a time where each finds "sparks" that seek us to continue or "sparks" that send us away. First date should be one where you can leave with dignity. A drink in a casual setting either coffee or a wine does not break the bank of a male but offers a chance for both persons to say..yes we want to go further or no it was nice to meet you...who pays can be part of an ongoing relationship but leave the first date to be a traditional one. Remember if you had met for the first time at a bar, it would usually be an ask ..can I buy you a drink...or if you had met at another social venue, the ask woud be can I take you out. Cyberspace is just another venue. Smile, be yourself and the rest will fall into place. By the way, if the sparks are positive, an ask to set up a further date with discussion on where and what allows each of you to extend your horizon of understanding the other person. If you are shy it also can be an easy means of getting to know a person. Positive action rather than trying to think of what should I say next. A text later to say I enjoyed our time together is lovely and should not just be the prerogative of the male. Also if you feel that the meeting went nowhere a courtesy would be to say..thank you it was nice to meet you, I hope you find someone in your search. It sends a clear message that this date did not work out without being unkind and does not leave the other person up in the air ..did they like me...do I contact again? Hugs and kisses...it depends on you and your personality..and that of the person you are meeting. I find that if you feel only a handshake is your forte that two hands warmly clasped is much more friendly than a formal handshake without invading a person's personal space. | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/9/2008 2:56:04 PM | If she offers to buy a round it is ok don`t be offended.
I never understand that daft air kissing thing but if you feel awkward saying hi and kissing on the cheek is ok.
I don`t think you need to fake laugh if she realises that is what you are doing she`d be really offended..how would you feel if she was doing the same to you??
Tell yourself the first meeting is as friends..no expectations.That way you either stay friends or you have a bonus of hitting it off and making a second date.
When it is time to leave just thank her for a nice night and kiss her on the cheek. If she wants a full on game of tonsil tennis she`ll let you know or you`ll get the message. | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/9/2008 3:01:30 PM | I forgot ..don`t do what the one guy i met did .
We kissed goodbye and he came.
He didnt ever phone again??? | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/9/2008 3:30:43 PM |
We kissed goodbye and he came.
Please tell me you're joking. That actually happened?? That must have been one hell of a kiss! | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/9/2008 3:35:42 PM | We kissed goodbye and he came.
Were you doing anything else while kissing him? I came when a woman kissed me, but she was also feeling my c-ck thru my pants while kissing me. | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/9/2008 3:47:17 PM | | Geez just beat off before the date so you are relaxed! | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/9/2008 3:54:53 PM | Oh my god, "this is way too hilarious"...Where did the etiquette go?  | |
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jf468
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Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 61 | |
| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:06:38 AM |
Geez just beat off before the date so you are relaxed!
Maybe he got more action that he expected and he was "caught off guard". LOL, | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/26/2008 10:08:15 AM |
My point is simply this. One person might consider a certain thing to be rude or inappriorate. Another person could care less about the very same thing.
I understand what you are saying ~ I run into it often myself.
I am what you might call an extravert, at 185 I can come across like an 800 lb gorilla at times. ~ I am not loud but a big presence and can be very intense with my humor.
People are strange and many very twisted ~ They will watch, "Friends" or "Signfield" and laugh their ass off ~~ but if you lay it on them in real life, it's not funny anymore.
It's my personal experience, people that take theirselfs too serious are not much fun to be around anyway. ~ so I wouldn't worry about them much ~ you don't need them in your life.
I have a professional life and a personal life ~ I don't mix the two anymore ~ and life is much richer. ~
If you are looking for perfection ~ don't look here , ~ professional pandering pays well.
personal pandering ~ creates nightmares ~dance | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/26/2008 2:48:26 PM | I like that you are prepared to pay. I like it when a man insists. I find it makes it feel more like a date than just friends meeting up. This also makes me think he's a good dating prospect (someone so tight with their pocketbook tthat they can't spring for the coffee might be stingy in other ways too).
I think it's safer to not do a peck for first meeting greeting (unless you are from a country that does this naturally. I remember adjusting immediately to this when I was in Australia for example, but I was meeting friends and family of my boyfriend, so the peck on the cheek might be reserved for people closer than say, a blind date). If he's attractive and confident, a hug will not be a problem as a greeting and I personally would be fine with a hug and a peck. If women are receptive generally to this in your everyday life, then you should be okay. Handshakes are good too, which seems to be normal here (Canada). I like a quick hug at the end (unless it has gone horribly), but that can be very telling if they hesitate.
I like it when a guy gets my jokes, but only if he's laughing sincerely. I also like the note or phonecall the next day to say he had a great time and thanks.
I also appreciate it when a man makes some sort of arrangement for the next meeting at the end of the date. Doesn't have to be too specific at that point, but when it's obvious that the date was great, then it's nice to arrange that if you two know your upcoming schedules. That way no one has to wonder if there's going to be a second. If you are not sure that she wants a second date, then leave it loose and suggest another date in a general way and see what she says.
I really think there's a "love doctor" market out there...it would be a blast to give dating classes for the clueless... | |
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Nic36
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Joined: 5/21/2008
Msg: 64 | |
| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/26/2008 3:40:19 PM |
Are the old ways still acceptable? There was a time when you'd greet a lady by taking her hand, then while bringing it up to kiss you'd compliment her saying something like "you look lovely this evening." Then the evening would progress from there, ending in walking her to her door with the man going in for a kiss and the woman allowing it if things went well, turning her head away if they didn't.
What would the reaction be to a kiss on the hand at the beginning? Or opening her car door for her? Or even driving her to and from the date? Are the old ways still accepted, or am I an anachronism?
Opening doors, absolutely yes. Kissing hands... well, you gotta really be able to pull that one off. It's not easy to do it right -- I've had one man get it right and he was Italian and a womanizer, so there ya' go. Whatever you do, don't slobber on her hand if you try it.
Driving her to and from a date -- not on a first date unless you already know each other. It's a safety issue; god help the poor woman who lets random strange men know her address. If you have just met and you try to get her in your car she is probably going to say no and wonder if she needs to consider changing her phone number. | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/26/2008 4:41:51 PM |
I'd like to know people's opinions on first date etiquette - obviously the drinks are on me, but what do you think is appropriate as a greeting
Drop trou and start singing showtunes. Chicks dig musicals.
Any hints? If she offers to buy a drink do I let her or say, "don't be silly I'll go"?
Yes, then get up and go.
Always pay the bill btw.
It will encourage the woman to overlook any stupid move you may have made during the date. | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/26/2008 5:12:45 PM | I f the woman is the date of your dreams and there is an immediate charge grab her, hold her tight and plant a good one on her lips.
If by chance that feeling doesn't occur the a simple handshake is appropriate as yo introduce yourself. Hand shakes are not formal greetings but since woman's lib it is a customary greeting. Often the woman will be the first to extend her hand.
The check arrangement is really up to the woman. If she wants to pay she will offer, if she doesn't you are stuck with the whole load. Better take lots of money some of these gals drink like sailors.
The parting bit depends on how you feel. If you liked her kiss her on the check and tell her you wold like to see her again and that you had a great time or that you had fun with her. If kyou didn't hit it off tell her you had a nice evening and will be geeting in touch. If she really likes you she may be the one to give you a kiss and even invite you to her place for a night cap.
It is not necessary to laugh at everything. Above all shut up and let her finish a sentence or thought . She wold like to be a part of the conversation. | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/26/2008 5:13:15 PM | | I always give a hug and a peck ont he cheek. When first meeting a date. What;a kiss anyway. We talk for a bit then go see a movie or have dinner if we like eachother. if she does not kiss ont he first date I end it as she is not worth my time. And I only pay if the girl kisses me back afte rI give her a peck ont he cheek and she shows me some kind of affection. In adition to being at least as attractive as she looked in her profile. Otherwise I go dutch. Maybe feel things out if I am still attracted to her. If she is gross then I end the date as politely as possible. I kind of have thsi charm in person so when people meet me I just glow! I've been told I look exactly the way I look in my pictures or slightly better. I make things up as I go along and feel things out. Good luck to you. | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/26/2008 5:14:28 PM | Take me on a picnic and feed me strawberries......tell me about the species of birds and point out the bunnies...........oh did I tell you we were in the park. Dont forget the blanket...the ground gets damp............. Now this is a first date.......a first meet is coffee........
Don t overthink things............... | |
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| First date etiquette
Posted: 5/26/2008 5:32:50 PM | I have a solution so that everyone is happy. It should work for everyone.
Don't buy her a drink (women like to feel independent). Instead smuggle in a bottle of Dom Perignon and some glasses and pour her a drink and hand it to her under the table. Then you both can sit there giggling, reliving your teens (when you had to drink surreptitiously). She'll forget about the fact that you paid for the champagne and will be impressed with the nostalgic feeling she gets from the experience. You won't come off as cheap.
Don't touch her at all during the evening. Be a knight. Tell her that you are going to go slay the dragon on Monday morning and there is a good chance your charger is old not up for the task, that your lance is in disrepair and that there is a good chance you will be killed in the effort. Remember to say that you are doing all this to try to recover the gold to buy food to feed the starving orphans in your village. When you take her back to her house, drop to your knees suddenly and take her hand and beseech her to allow you one small kiss on her lips as a token of her affection and to remember her by. Whatever you do, don't tell her about the princess in the cave that you are really after... | |
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