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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/8/2008 3:28:30 PM | | I do know what you mean, Sillygoose, but sometimes I think that men might feel a little bit "used" just like us women can. I was fortunate enough that my father would not let his girls drive off in a vehicle until they knew how to change a flat, even on a 3/4 ton truck, and we lived on the back roads of a rural area and we have been known to have to do it. Since my first husband was away from home alot, many home repairs fell to me while he was away. I became pretty independent. Now that I am older and not able to do a lot of the things that I once could because of physical limitations, I have my sons that I can call on occasionally if needed. But what I really need is companionship and I miss that most of all. I need a man for the friendship and company and if he wishes to give me a helping hand at times, it is really appreciated. I love to have someone to do for at times also, like cook a nice meal, do some clothing repairs, help hostess gatherings of family or friends. And I think that goes for men also. | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/8/2008 3:39:45 PM | | Virgiancowgirl, that is how the guys know to do things. They just got in there and figured it out. They were not born knowing how to fix things and do home and car repairs. They sometimes do have more physical strength but that is it. Get a girlfriend to help you if needed. Keep it up girl, you will get there. | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/8/2008 3:43:57 PM |  Now that is TRULY funny!!!! First of all, you're correct....even if you had a boyfriend....he wouldn't do it either....and probably wouldn't know anymore about it than you do.
Do you women miss having someone when something like this comes up? and do you men miss having someone when you maybe need curtain hung or a hot meal? Now THIS is a real hoot! LOL! Last weekend, my ex watched the grandchildren for me (OUR grandchildren) while I made several trips to Lowes. Let's see....first trip, a new lawnmower, 10 40# bags of topsoil, 40 16"x16" patio block. 2nd trip, 20 more patio block, 10 60# bags of quickrete, and 2 3cu.ft bags of mulch. 3rd trip, 6 more bags of mulch, 400#s of sand and a bunch of bedding plants.
Well, not surprisingly....but as soon as I said I needed 10 bags of quickrete....every male clerk in the store was suddenly...."busy". So, I get home....each trip, totally unload the truck BY MYSELF.....ex is sound asleep on my couch...watching the kids in his dreams I guess. So, I unload the truck....he did put the 4 wheels on the mower for me while I finished unloading the 600#s of quickrete, 400#s of sand...and God only knows how many #s of patio block, 400 #s of topsoil....and various other odds and ends. He DID make a pot of coffee while I was unloading from one trip....even carried a cup outside for me....LOL! I hope he didn't strain himself too badly! LOL! While he's sitting on the back steps watching me dump and level sand and lay block....our 4 yr old grandson says...."Grandpa....why are you NOT helping BooBoo?" His reply...."she knows what she's doing." LOL! DAMN....and there I'd spent 25 years waiting til he wasn't looking to do stuff like.....grounding the garbage disposal he'd put in so that I didn't get shocked everytime I used it.....and adjusting the flush valve on the toilet so it would shut off.....well I guess that didn't piss him off too much since I am the liscensed plumber....LOL! but come on now......he was a freaking mechanic.....do you think I EVER got my oil changed??? Hell NO. I took it to the shop, paid the $29.95....and was happy that my van still ran when they were done!
I don't require a man to hang my curtains or cook a hot meal for me either....I'm perfectly knowledgable about operating both my sewing machine and my microwave.
I could use a little help messing up the bedspread....LOL! but I'd better not say that....least the guys all call me a female chauvenist sow.
Enjoy! | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/8/2008 3:53:10 PM | | well, I don't think you're gonna get one with that attitude. Being wanted as a repairman doesn't sound like a very good deal to me - the reason I miss a woman is all about love - not a steaming plate of lasagna. | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/8/2008 6:18:29 PM | There is a big ugly bug in my living room right NOW. I need a man to get it out.
No killing, though.
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/8/2008 6:24:05 PM | | ^^^^^ If it's the size of that alien-bug in Men in Black 2, uh...nope. | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/8/2008 6:48:30 PM | Message 103: goodness, just mess up your own sheets and buy a B O B. Come on gal...lots of men know how to fix things, and enjoy doing so. You might enjoy having someone to help do that kind of work , and help with the cooking too.
The bottom line is men need women, and women need men. Not to kill bugs, cook, or mow..but to BE TOGETHER. Who does what is not important...the being together is. If it's not that way then things are off balance. | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/8/2008 7:04:53 PM | ^^^ Uhhhmmm.... I really need someone to get this bug out of my house.
They can also cook... I won't mind:)
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/8/2008 7:51:01 PM | | Grandmabooboo, Sounds like you might be glad that you split with that one, but you might make him feel that he isn't even necessary because you are really efficient. | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/8/2008 8:16:11 PM | I haven't read every post on this thread, but I've been dipping in from time to time. From what I can see - correct me if I'm wrong - no one has talked about different mental abilities of men and women. While not universal, it is, in general, the case that men have better visuospatial (or mechanical) skills than women, and women better verbal skills than men. This probably exists from early childhood on. Yes, some of this is socialized (pressures or opportunities to do one kind of activity or the other) but some of it is probably biologically predetermined.
I have learned to do a small number of home repairs but almost no auto repairs, and yard chores are beyond me if they involve any strength (another area men surpass women: upper body strength). So deficient am I in mechanical/visuospatial skills, that I have trouble following the pictograms for how to unjam the photocopier.
Do I feel second-rate? No. My verbal skills and detail orientation are outstanding, as is my creativity in general problem solving. But just as I have strengths, I also have weaknesses.
So while you ladies are changing your own tires and oil and light bulbs, I'm going to be looking for a man to do it. And I'll be appreciative when I find one and he does. That's all. | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/8/2008 8:40:30 PM | If I remove a bug....
Its not going to bug anyone else ever again.
I don't do catch and release unless its a fish.
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/8/2008 9:48:29 PM | Well I've been a city boy for some years now, but I did grow up in farm country where, if something broke that you needed, you just fixed it any way you could. I learned young that most important things can be learned just by reading the directions. So I learned to fix bicycles, autos, motorcycles and all sorts of things that way, no real magic about it, just experience. I work in offices but I am still the gentleman the ladies call when they need a hot-file hung, their desk chair raised, or other such simple things. They smile, thank me, bring me special food, and to introduce me to their unmarried lady friends. What could be better?
I can fix most anything mechanical, but I have zero ability with colors so I am scheming how to get Mae to come help me decorate my apartment. Oh, wait ... you say I have to get rid of the broken bicycles? Not the toolboxes in the living room! Five computers is not too many, it really isn't!
Sure I need a woman .. one that comes with a house with two ends and a middle. She has her end, does it the way she wants, and I only go there when invited. She does the middle because she won't be comfortable there otherwise. She's not allowed in my end lest she start nagging me to clean it up or, even worse, decide to organize it for me. We spend most of our time in the middle because that is where we cook, eat, listen to music, entertain our friends, watch movies and so forth. If my end looks suspiciously like a garage, that's perfectly fine as long as the door has a lock on it! | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/8/2008 11:43:21 PM | I’m right in the middle of my spring cleaning now – full enchilada, door frames, windows, overhead fan blades, clean the fridge, the works – and "I need a maid ... NOW !!” – someone that I’d pay to do this for me. But, to get a maid, I’d need to get a better job to afford it. And getting a better job, would probably mean longer work hours, at least until I got settled in. And longer work hours would mean that I wouldn’t be home as much, which would mean that I wouldn’t get my place as dirty. And if I don’t get it as dirty, I don’t need the maid anymore.
It’s so neat how things in life will just naturally work themselves out sometimes ...
cdn guy | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/8/2008 11:53:22 PM |
How to change a car door:
blah blah blah etc etc
Ok, so far so good, but you didn't explain HOW to align the door as in which part of each hinge you loosen & which direction you move the door to align it with the rear door. As in moving the lower hinge in moves the top/back of the door out etc
& you don't align doors with the fender, you align the fender with the door.. after you have aligned the door with the rear door (or quarter panel if it's a rear door etc)
And most of us use masking tape on the edges under it's aligned to protect the finish...
& those paint sticks from Home Cheapo taped to the sill make perfect gap gauges. | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/9/2008 2:28:13 AM | | I have a group of friends that we co-op our needs. Swap talent. I mended some clothes and baked a cake for a pot-luck for a male friend and he did a minor home repair for me. That way everyone wins. It is the old fashioned barter system. Find your talents and those of your friends. When you swap out, no one feels used. | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/9/2008 3:58:05 AM | When you swap out, no one feels used.
" Swap Talent" Love your way of thinking OTD. Personally I know what my strengths are and my areas of expertise. I also know the areas I lack skills in, as well.
When in a relationship, ( friendship or otherwise) this is an important part of the equation.Perhaps, where people get into trouble is when they think " they are a jack-of-all-trades and yet, the master of none. Or, they belittle the other person for not having a particular skill in a certain area, instead of affirming them in the areas they are good at.
Then it becomes more like " pushing a rope" alone rather than "pulling together." | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/9/2008 5:34:31 AM | I don't miss having a man to *do* things for me. Probably because that was the basis for most of my relationship hunting.... what can he do for me. I always had a theory that if two people compliment one another and one is talented one way and the other in another way, that would be the most compatible type of relationship to have. Well, I never found that perfect glove match and have learned to take care of things mostly on my own.
I thought I really missed having someone in my life to fill the void until I started to date and interact with men and now I see that I don't. I like having people in my life, love talking to them, and have really come to the conclusion that if there is going to be a *soulmate* for me, that he will come along when he is suppose to, no signs attached to him stating his talents or his worth, because somewhere within my being, I will just know he is the one and he WILL know that also. If he has the added benefit of being able to do what I currently do myself or get done for me, then so be it.
As for putting a door on a car, well, I admire you OP for your efforts.... I have a cabinet that is sitting on the back of my toilet and I've spent a week, thinking of ways to prop it up, so I can properly screw it into the wall (you, know with plugs etc., so it doesn't fall down a few months later, it is a heavy one). Some things take me a little longer than others, I also trade off for thngs, such as I drive my ex's son to work everyday and each morning he comes, he does a job for me... the added benefit is that we have that opportunity to talk all the way to work together and he is just starting to date a girl.... the joy is giving him advice from my perspective as a woman, how to handle the issues that have come up.... yesterday he came to me and told me he had dealt with his girlfriend on an issue by taking my advice and talking to her about it and it worked out great! What a treat, to know the exchange is appreciated.
I also have a great family that loves me and I love, instead of asking for material things from my children, because I usually have what I want anyways, they have taken to offering me things that I can't or don't do around the house.... my daughter is painting my bathroom for me as a birthday present (taking her ages, but que sera) | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/9/2008 6:47:51 AM |
I was fortunate enough that my father would not let his girls drive off in a vehicle until they knew how to change a flat, even on a 3/4 ton truck, and we lived on the back roads of a rural area and we have been known to have to do it. So True missdix! I was blessed to have a Dad like that as well. I was not allowed to get my liscense until I knew how to change a flat tire, use the jumper cables, change the oil, and various other routine maintenance. LOL! I just don't think he knew at the time how much I'd come to like playing with the "boys toys" LOL!
Message 103: goodness, just mess up your own sheets and buy a B O B. Come on gal...lots of men know how to fix things, and enjoy doing so. You might enjoy having someone to help do that kind of work , and help with the cooking too. Old news dear LOL! I have several....in various colors....to match my "mood" LOL! I did not however say that there are not lots of men who do know how to fix things. I think you missed the humor in my story. The keyword here however is "help". This is where a lot of women get confused. Forgive me for the "generalizations", I'll attempt to remember to put all the "somes" and "people" where they belong. SOME women fail to realize that SOME men are more than willing to "do the job"....but they are not willing to "help". I think the OP's "downfall" was when she purchased and retrieved the door all by her frail little ole self. Had she put out the feelers....."OMG...my door is broke....WHAT ever shall I do???"; she'd have had a dozen men clammoring to assist. The minute that she showed any initiative or ability to participate in her own "rescue", SOME men would want no part of only a "partial rescue". IE...he must be the Hero...from beginning to end. The best procedure, had she wanted a man to help....would have been to feign total ignorance.....allow HIM to advise her... playing out the damsel in distress to the ultimate maximum.
BINGO! she's got it:
Grandmabooboo, Sounds like you might be glad that you split with that one, but you might make him feel that he isn't even necessary because you are really efficient. Typically, men are "competitive"....and if a female demonstrates any knowledge or motivation....it detracts from their perception of "worth". Like I said...."help" is a female term....NOT a male one.
I have a group of friends that we co-op our needs. Swap talent. I mended some clothes and baked a cake for a pot-luck for a male friend and he did a minor home repair for me. That way everyone wins. It is the old fashioned barter system. Find your talents and those of your friends. When you swap out, no one feels used. This is a GREAT idea, but notice that she said.....a group of "FRIENDS". The minute any "romantic" notions enters the picture....most men will be instantly intimidated if a woman shows any skill or ability. No, your mother was not lieing to you when she told you that if you want a man....you MUST pretend to be stupid. It's just the way it works. Let them be the hero from start to finish....otherwise, you'll most likely be doing it alone. Don't forget to thank them profusely, complete with batting eyelashes, and of course....a freshly baked pie wouldn't hurt either! LOL! This way you'll always have an endless supply of men just waiting in line to see if there's anything you need fixed!
Hugs, kisses and my eternal appreciation to my Dad, and other men who have shown the maturity and masculine security necessary to deal with women who don't want to be "princesses", but to be actively involved in every aspect of their relationships. | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/9/2008 7:01:14 AM | A woman show me romance . I am hers . makes me do things for her . I am hers .  ldies this way make way to wiscosnin . You can have a man who DOES want to be your handyman . cook him a meal , show him romance . I will be yours . | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/9/2008 8:07:21 AM | Ok I fess up ... Do I need a man NOW ???
Well it has been a bitter, cold, high snow bank, winter up here in Ontario ...
A little spring fever and I am feel frisky. So Yea I need a man, if not now pretty damn soon !!!
Of course not any man will do as I am not looking for a *HAND*y man, but a MANly man, with a nice crack too !!! | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/9/2008 10:23:41 AM | royalpain, I can chime in right behind you on this one:
So while you ladies are changing your own tires and oil and light bulbs, I'm going to be looking for a man to do it. And I'll be appreciative when I find one and he does. That's all. Amen!!!!!
I'll do all that I can, but have NO problem asking a man to help do something.
In fact, I think it's really silly to see women standing on a soapbox declaring some of the things I see them declaring. So shoot me, ladies. You can do that "as good as a man" too, right? But you'll complain if you get sent to war and have to leave a baby at home. | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/9/2008 10:35:56 AM | | breath... I never claimed that I could do it as well as a man can, but I got the job done in the absense of a man. I like having a man do things for me but don't want to get a bf just for what he can do for me. I do not like having to change a flat or jump my car or fix my sliding patio door that got off track. And since I am really short, I dispise hanging curtains and climbing up and down, but the job had to be done. It is not a bad thing to know how to use a drill, screwdriver, shovel etc. I refuse to be helpless. I also think it is attractive when a man knows how to cook, clean house well and get laundry stains out. If a man comes along and is the right one for me, GREAT! I will gladly turn over maintenence chores to them. But I don't like to be used and neither should he. | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/9/2008 10:40:33 AM | | ^^^ I did not name you, nor any other names. | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/9/2008 1:43:45 PM | | If I lived closer I'd help you out even if we weren't dating. | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/9/2008 2:34:46 PM | | Breath I know that you didn't name me and I wasn't trying to argue with you. I was just clearing that up. I have learned to do a lot of things because I HAD too, not by choice. My dad would have us girls out doing things like driving a tractor and mowing pastures, helping with hay baleing, feeding cows and lots of farm work. And we weren't big strapping girls either, not a one over 5' 2". I liked being feminine, but necessity required it and it hasn't hurt me. Matter of fact, when my kids dad left and I had a couple of boys to raise as a single parent, it came in handy for sure. Then they picked up part of the load as they matured and life got easier for me in that respect. I may have had too learn thing like rewiring a lamp and changing the heating element in my oven and patching a hole in the sheetrock or cleaning out the trap under the kitchen sink, but I sure am not into the bracket or remodelers and home builders. | |
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