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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/13/2008 4:14:15 AM |
Yep, I miss having a male companion, lover around often..but not because I can't do it myself..sometimes, it gets tiring ...and it would be nice to have the support..and someone to talk to, share things with..good and bad..and have fun with. If I can't do something, I learn..and recently learned how to install hardwood flooring, use a table saw, etc. Here! Here!!!! LOL! I could use a man around for numerous things. It's just that fixing my truck (or unloading it), mowing the grass, killing bugs, changing lightbulbs, rewiring, fixing toilets or refrigerators just don't happen to be on the list. LOL! unless he WANTED to do any of those.
LOL! if it EVER stops raining here....I have a 15 ft. awning that I could use some "help" with getting it up onto the support brackets, but in the absence of any male or female to help me....I'm just going to use 2 step ladders and a pulley/rope assembly and hope that it doesn't fall on my head while I run from one end to the other to get a screw started into the holes. LOL! I guess what it comes down to is the difference between what I could "use"....and what I really "NEED". I could use another pair of hands, but since I do have the OPTION of the 2 ladders and a rope....then THOSE are the items that I truly "NEED". Need, I suppose, signifies......last hope, couldn't do it without.
Exciting1: Hon, the guy was 100% correct.....your refrig is not worth trying to "save". The light is on because it's not wired in with the compressor. The fan is NOT on, because it IS (wired in with the compressor) And YES, dirt is public enemy #1 of refrigeration/air conditioning systems, as it serves to insulate the condensing coils (hot side) and keeps them from releasing the BTU's of heat that it collected on the evaporator side. (cold side). Your refrigerator's compressor is a sealed unit...the electric motor is INSIDE the hermetically sealed casing. When the windings on the motor burn out, they not only clog the metering device, but they contaminate the entire system. When you spend a couple hundred dollars to replace a bad compressor, remember that the chances are that the new compressor is being placed into a system that has been comtaminated and I don't care how much nitrogen you blow threw the system first....a replacement compressor shouldn't be expected to have much over 60% of the life of the original...if that!
Thank you Ray Evans ....Marshall Institute of Technology, HVAC instructor, for being a wonderful instructor who didn't think that girls were handicapped, and for taking the gage manifold away from 4 men who wouldn't let me near the compressor until he realized that I was the ONLY one in class who understood what a "saturation temperature" was! LOL! See there! Other than my grandma who taught me to bake a killer apple pie and make a dress....ALL the cool stuff I know how to do....I learned from a MAN. | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/13/2008 5:59:54 AM | | thanks; i'm probably not going to try to fix it, as of now. i don't think it was dust on the coils but i don't know what really happened. i'm looking for a small fridge from college being out now, or something like that in the classifieds. that will get me through the summer while i'm supposed to be working out of town alot. sux though... | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/13/2008 6:55:31 AM | Kinda funny how men are here saying women shouldn't "use" a man,
and then there are the men that come here and say:
Honey, I would love to have put your door on for you...I just dont live close enough to do it..
LOL!
How about a nice medium?
One extreme is "I don't want to be used" and the other is "Honey... I'll do it as a flirt tool"
Guys (some), I'm sorry if you felt "used" in the past... geesh, what anyone feels is their own decision to feel. Blame it all on other people around you if it makes you feel better.
I think if one is helping another... it should be done in the spirit of kindness... it's called making the world a better place to live.
No man is an island, and all that.
I don't know, I must be a strange duck. Yeah, that's it. | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/13/2008 7:33:57 AM | | Breath? I totally concur with what you say. Nothing at all wrong with exchanging our talents with our friends. One never knows when a favor is needed that someone else can help with. And? Tis always nice to be able to help a friend out when in need. I don't understand all this "doing stuff" for sex or whatever else has been talked about here. Whatever happened to the good old days when ya just helped someone out? | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/13/2008 8:51:57 AM | | yes . I miss those days . no one it seems want to help anyone out . UNLESS there is money in it . IF , I found a woman who wanted me to do those things . she could pay me but keeping me as boyfreind . I would not have to worry what she does and with who . I guess thosae days are gone . | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/13/2008 9:03:21 AM |
How about a nice medium?
Mediums just want your money and can't really conjure up the dead anyway. I think you might try one of those VooDoo dolls though.
Guys (some), I'm sorry if you felt "used" in the past... geesh, what anyone feels is their own decision to feel. Blame it all on other people around you if it makes you feel better.
I can't say I'm sorry for them as they could have said no to the task in the first place. I don't subscribe to the view that what anyone feels is their own decision but I would say it's a choice to remain in a situation where you feel used.
I think if one is helping another... it should be done in the spirit of kindness... it's called making the world a better place to live.
No man is an island, and all that.
I'll lend a hand if I see someone struggling with something but not if they are struggling to prove they can't do it to get pity.
I don't know, I must be a strange duck. Yeah, that's it.
I concur, for a duck, you do look rather strange. | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/15/2008 9:11:02 PM | | Actually... I started my little business as a professional handyman. It was my bro/law's mom that gave me the idea. She told me that it's easy to find someone to build a house but you can't find anyone to hang a screen door! Since then I've become a licensed plumber and make a very good living at what I do. It is kind of odd the way the numbers work. The people who really need my services generally have low paying jobs and can't afford it although I'm much cheaper than the big companies. The people who have no problem paying don't need me very often but definitely appreciate my talents when they hire me. As for swapping skills or labor I always end up getting the shaft. I installed a water heater and re-wired a room for a lady then she cleaned my house and did a few things around here and acted like I owed her money. I could have hired the work done that she did for about $100 but the work I did for her would have cost her over $1,000.... at least I felt that it was going for a good cause since the re-wire job was needed for life-support equipment for her mom. Sometime we just do things because it feels right rather than doing things just for the money. And, some times I won't work for certain people no matter how much they pay.... | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/16/2008 1:10:58 AM | my second ex broke just about everything he touched. my first husband did all this stuff, but alas, he had other issues. my current man does this for a living, so he gets tired when it comes to personal time. he has a to do list a mile long for his own house, let alone worry about mine. you know, the shoemaker's children have no shoes!
for the most part i hire handy"men" --except now i have a handywoman. very hard here to find one that is not stoned, nuts or surfing. i had one who used to scream from the roof and then he married this homeless woman he met selling x-mas trees. she brought a wild duck to my house and they would scream at each other to the point where i could not take it any longer. i'm from back east and had houses built and renovated by old timer craftsmen. even had a slate roof expert. my old nj roomate was a commercial plumber and biker. bless his soul, if he gets out of rehab, he has a standing offer! everything was in order when i lived with him.
the new breed is given the lumber measured and cut. all they know is to lay out tract houses. my carpenter back east built an entire house for me with a concept drawing-- no plans! i finally found a female run referral agency where i am now. the last few contractors and gardeners were sane and worth every penny. maybe more per hour, but way less time spent on mistakes and inefficiencies. it takes a combo of yin and yang to get things rolling right.
my future son-in-law came here and did my bodywork on my car when i wasn't paying attention. saved me a large amount of money and just "picked" at my car here and there. other than that, i've given up "expecting" stuff like this. it would be nice to share household responsibilties with someone. my man likes to cook for me w/o my interference and have me cook for him. i' m more of a team player. love to hang out in the kitchen with a bunch of people and cook /cleanup together. now i can do that with the meetup group i hostess at my house! we potluck and gab.
so much for modern times. they need to build communities with central living space and smaller personal spaces where you can retreat for lone time. todays beautiful old houses were built for extended families. | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/16/2008 1:00:45 PM | 'goose'.....
I don't see your dilemma...!!!
All you need to do is - Walk outside...and . . SMILE..!!! . . 
You'll have 'em Lined-up...around the Block...!!!
..and...if you Don't . . Give ME a call..!!!
 You're Lovely..!! | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/17/2008 11:59:56 PM |
"and do you men miss having someone when you maybe need curtain hung or a hot meal?"
Nope...I'd rather do it myself when I want it done right the first time.
Oh you pissy, bitter thing.
I have assembled my own furniture, fixed things around the house, changed my own tire (with three hours and inordinate amounts of profanity), and I even change my own light bulbs and kill my own spiders. I don't "need" a man for anything, although it would be lovely to have one in my life to make memories with. If I face a task that's too much for me physically, I solve the problem on my own ~ i.e., when I moved out of the former S.O.'s house, I bought new furniture. I wanted to save money, so I picked it up at the warehouse (in BFE) rather than pay them to deliver it. I went to pick it up alone; the warehouse employees loaded it into the back of my truck (sofa, loveseat, coffee table, and two end tables) and walked off without so much as offering me some rope or twine. I went into the warehouse and found some twine. Got one of the guys to figure out how much I needed and cut it for me. He didn't offer to help me secure my load. I secured my precious cargo as best I could and headed for the freeway (yes, the freeway) with about 30 miles to drive. By the way, it was raining. The load was so wobbly, I drove 40 mph the whole way, watching my rear view mirror constantly. I didn't care; I wasn't going to lose my stuff just to avoid holding up traffic in Los Angeles! Pft. When I arrived at my apt, I then entertained the question of how I was going to get this stuff into my upstairs apt. My neighbor across the hall just happened to have his front door open and was on the phone making arrangements for a friend to come over. I impatiently hovered and the moment he hung up, I offered him and his soon-to-arrive-friend $20 to unload my furniture. He said "yes". Problem solved.
Oops, I'm rambling...anyway, the point is: not a good idea to have a mindset of needing a man (or a woman, as the case may be) for anything. Need is not a good reason to get involved in a romantic relationship. Better to need someone because you love them vs. loving them because you need them. JMHO | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/18/2008 1:02:57 AM | | This is where I can skill exchange comes in really handy, advertise for a bloke who can put that door on for you in exchange for some service you can offer him....lol and I dont mean your body!!....maybe he needs some sewing jobs done, his house spring cleaning....meals on wheels service for a year hahah, you never know!! ;-) I know it would cost $600 to get it done in the garage but Im sure you find a willing bloke who wouldnt expect you to do $600 worth of service in return. | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/18/2008 12:25:59 PM | | Eh, if anything I've learned how to be more independent - perhaps too independent, sometimes, according to my family and friends. But for that stuff - I have people I go to for mechanics work, etc - as a paying customer - just not in a big shop where it's $75/hr labor ... | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/18/2008 2:07:38 PM | | to bad you are so far away, I would put that door on for you. I am an Autobody tech and know what to do. | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/18/2008 2:38:44 PM | Life is about balance! (said in the voice of the store owner on 'The Simpson's').
In my mind, when in a relationship, it's about being on a team. Each brings uniques strenghts and talents to the situation that should be utilized accordingly.
I read/heard some where:
It's not the talents we DON'T HAVE that frustrate us, but rather the talents we DO HAVE that we DON'T USE that frustrate us.
ClassyfiedAlly,
Please don't be so hard on those guys that didn't help you tie your load. Most companys wont allow their employees to that because it presents a liability if everything spills on your way home. I worked briefly at a similar place. Made me feel like a heel to walk away when help was obviously needed. | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/18/2008 2:53:18 PM |
advertise for a bloke who can put that door on for you in exchange for some service you can offer him....lol and I dont mean your body!! Whats wrong with exchanging body work for BODY work.
maybe he needs some sewing jobs Wait, what kind of jobs? Oh, sewing, okay , yes I might need my inseam let out.
his house spring cleaning Living alone I don't feel the urge to do a lot of cleaning especially the strange sticky stuff I find.
meals on wheels service for a year hahah, Maybe just allowing me my man time out and allow me to dine at the Y.
Eh, if anything I've learned how to be more independent - perhaps too independent, sometimes, according to my family and friends. But for that stuff - I have people I go to for mechanics work, etc - as a paying customer - just not in a big shop where it's $75/hr labor ... I seek out independents that are willing to provide services to me at reduced rates also.
Sorry, just having fun, Hope it didn't offend anyone. | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/18/2008 3:52:40 PM | A very good friend of mine has helped me out the last two weekends in a row. He is a wonderful friend. Expects nothing in return cept maybe a few beer and a good home cooked dinner. He helps out a couple of us pof ladies who are unable to do certain things, either because we do not know how, or it is simply work that is too heavy. I have always been one to admit defeat in the strength department when I hit my limit!  But we have a little group that we know we can call on, male or female, to help each other out. I think it is great! If we can offer up what we know to help save someone else money, why not? | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/18/2008 8:05:43 PM | RE guys saying they would gladly offer to help put the door on....
Some guys would offer to help ANYONE put thier car door on.
Guys like to feel useful... and when someone NEEDS HELP a GENTLEMAN would offer to give the help he is capable of giving.
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/20/2008 8:13:30 PM | I had to laugh when I saw what this thread was really about, because I just had a very frustrating afternoon yesterday. Two things set me off:
1. I had a bug in my hair, and it d*mned near sent me into orbit. 
2. Tried and failed to start the lawn mower. I had the whole "hold the handle and pull the cord" coordination down, but I simply do not have the arm strength to yank the cord fast enough to start it. So I'm left with calling the ex (no of COURSE I'm not going there) or looking like an idiot girly wuss to my neighbor. A POF friend gave me a list of things to try, so hopefully I can avoid both of those scenarios.
I would not lift a finger for someone that demanded it of me or b!tched about expectations of a 'man' in a relationship.
This to me falls into the 'sharp stick in the eye' category ... NO ONE would want to do anything for someone who demanded it or had a sense of entitlement.
Ughhh! I hate when that happens. Damsels in distress usually aren't in distress, they're manipulating and I don't do sex for chores.
There's plenty of prince charming wannabes they can play that game with.
So Mac, if I lived next door and came over and asked you to start my mower, you'd see me as a manipulative princess? I wouldn't be asking for you to mow the yard, just start the mower. I'm dead in the water unless someone stronger than me cranks that thing (crossing fingers that friend's tips will make it work!). Well I might be, if Mac was my neighbor.
Jules | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/20/2008 8:38:22 PM | Oh I've had those days too...It really snowed here a couple of weeks ago and when I back my car out into the ally, I got stuck in the deep snow ...I could not get it out of those ruts. I was so frustrated. A man came down the lane, walking his old dog and he pretended not to notice....he wouldn't even look in my direction. I finally walked back to house, retrieved my shovel and had to dig my way out. By the time I got her out, I was exhausted.
I went back into the house later and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror...I was a mess, totally dishevelled...I probably wouldn't have helped me out either haha
I'm sorry guys....and I hate to sound like such a user, but I could have used some strong arms to help out...I would have certainly bought coffee or a drink.
...maeflowers | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/20/2008 8:40:47 PM | If you lived next door and couldn't get your mower started... I'd probably pull out the toolbox and find out why.
I;m usually pretty good at getting things going.
Even though I've got boat in the front yard thats having ignition problems that are kicking my butt. (it has also stumped 3 repair shops... But I won't give up until it runs)
**********************
And getting cars out of snow...
I pushed a big 4X4 out of a snowbank with a Plymouth reliant (Idaho, 1985)... got my car in the same holes he'd been stuck in... and drove out of it by myself.
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/20/2008 11:40:31 PM | | sounds like you dont need a man, but want to "use a man". grow some balls of your own, pay the f****** repair bill and save your self respect. GHAWD. is this a joke? | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/21/2008 4:54:45 AM | here is a guy WHO is clean shaven , does not drink or smoke . use a man  . OH , and I bet your gonna say men have not done this either . guy meets woman in bar . gets her drunk . takes her home . have sex . and then , never calls . | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/21/2008 6:16:54 AM |
So Mac, if I lived next door and came over and asked you to start my mower, you'd see me as a manipulative princess? I wouldn't be asking for you to mow the yard, just start the mower. I'm dead in the water unless someone stronger than me cranks that thing (crossing fingers that friend's tips will make it work!). Well I might be, if Mac was my neighbor.
If you acted like a damsel in distress, I'd say your being manipulative, If you simply asked for help, I'd show you how to get it started as it doesn't require that much strength unless it's broke. Then, I'd advise you to get it fixed or buy a new one.
I'f you try to convince me you're a princess, I'd be pretty sure you're lying and ask about your heritage and laugh when you tell me your dad was a king.
Those royals have landscapers. | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/21/2008 7:57:02 AM | you seem to be a very old fashoned person...
women are often better in fixing things and men are often the better cooks....
I would not need anybody to do anything for me.....I love to be indipendent and I enjoy life. | |
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| I need a man NOW
Posted: 5/21/2008 1:54:15 PM |
...Maybe you better check just how intact your humour meter really is.... cause mac baby, somethings far too tight.
...maeflowers
LOL Mae.
I got the silly thing to crank - turns out gas can get old!!! Who knew?? Thanks Levi! I was instructed to dump out the old gas, put new in, and try it. I had several more things to try if that didn't work (I had already checked the filter and oil that first day). But I didn't even have to pull the cord that hard. Then I was so startled by the thing actually starting I let go of the handle, and it quit! LOL But it cranked right up again.
So thanks anyhow Mac, I won't be needing your suspicion - er assistance.
And I think a failure (refusal?) to see when someone is asking for assistance and willing to help in any way they can in return - as opposed to someone who is out to take advantage - is sad and cynical. No one likes to be taken advantage of. By the same token, no one who is ethical wants to be accused of doing same on little to no evidence, based on past experiences. That's the essence of baggage - being accused of someone else's crimes.
The wild variety of responses from both sides I hope shows why women are not always sure how to show men they want and appreciate them as men, for everything from opening doors to hugs that make you feel a sense of peace and safety. I've seen several threads where the "being needed" theme was discussed, or rather, beaten and subdued with big sticks by folks who want to call any human interaction codependency or manipulation or pathology, when maybe its just normal, healthy people leaning on each other. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
OK I'm going out to mow some more grass ...
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