NoLogo
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Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 126 | |
| How do I learn to enjoy being alone?
Posted: 5/26/2008 8:02:40 AM | Well, i do agree with all your suggestions, but you have to consider why someone is feeling lonely.
I am not feeling alone myself i am HAPPY..and CHEERFUL all the time, I have lots of friends but not PETS :) maybe just few spiders crawling around in my house, but they don't talk much.
I would say I am feeling alone because I don't have that special person next to me to spend "quality time" (that is what is called...right?). Somone you can trust, talk to and open myself up to and of course have good time together!
I believe most of us do miss all these and this is why we all say I AM FEELING LONELY! But surely not because we don't have a life out there, i am sure we all work and socialise.
So i think the bottom line is, we need that special PERSON to be with in good and bad time!
Good luck to you all
ciao,
Paolo | |
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| How do I learn to enjoy being alone?
Posted: 5/26/2008 8:11:51 AM | Go out and enjoy life.
Get involved in your community, play sports if that's what you are into, make small get togethers/parties with family and friends. Your options are limitless. Think outside of the box. Meaning get out of your house and just do it!
I love NIKE :) | |
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| How do I learn to enjoy being alone?
Posted: 5/26/2008 8:14:05 AM | well... there ARE lots of things worse than being alone - or lonely.
The first that comes to my mind is hooking up w/ the wrong person.
I guess as others said, find hobbies and activities you enjoy, and keep an open mind when meeting people. Don't rush tho... no matter how tempting! | |
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| How do I learn to enjoy being alone?
Posted: 5/26/2008 8:42:56 AM | Well if you don't have anyone, then you don't have any choice except to be alone. Maybe that's your reality? Now how happy you are about this is up to you. In this world, there are an awful lot of people who are alone and will be until they fall into their graves.
The Eagle | |
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| How do I learn to enjoy being alone?
Posted: 6/1/2008 2:57:29 PM | | Unless you become happy being alone, and truly begin to enjoy your own company you will never be happy with someone else. You will breed a bad case of co-dependence, suck the energy out of whoever you become involved with in the future. You may be a great team with someone that is true, but we need to operate in life as a sovereign entity by ourselves. No one can make you happy but yourself. Is there a hobby or interest that you have always wanted to pursue? Try that, do anything that can make you more interesting and more well rounded, grow as a person. You will attract a much higher caliber of women, dolts are easy to find. | |
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| How do I learn to enjoy being alone?
Posted: 6/1/2008 3:43:38 PM | Learning to enjoy being alone does not equate with being lonely or not having someone in your life.
I've been single my entire life. I have close friends and enjoyed loving relationships with men. However, I look forward to what I call, "my time". The quiet of the house after a long, crazy day at work. Being able to change the channel to what ever I desire to watch or crank up the stereo and sing/dance while cleaning house.
Life is what you make it. Get out there and take a chance. | |
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| How do I learn to enjoy being alone?
Posted: 6/1/2008 10:00:45 PM | YOU NEVER LEARN TO ENJOY BENING ALONE
HAS SOMEONE HURT YOU
HAVE YOU DONE SOMETHING
YOU MUST NOT WANT TO BE ALONE
YOU ARE ASKING
HOW DO I ENJOY BEING ALONE ?
YOU DO KNOW WHEN YOUR ALONE YOU ARE NEVER REALY ALONE | |
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| How do I learn to enjoy being alone?
Posted: 6/2/2008 1:10:44 AM | | Hey Ross,I know how you feel,I used to have hobbies that I enjoyed WITH others,not by myself,so ditto to some posters on here. Its icing on the cake,if you will,If they are around to share them,and good times,but so many people seem to find it easy to move on,and forget ya,it happens,i dont know why.!! | |
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| How do I learn to enjoy being alone?
Posted: 6/2/2008 2:21:41 AM | | Hi Ross, You think deeply about who you are,and learn to love all the positives about yourself,and,if you want to,change the negatives. Once you get to know exactly who you are and like that person,everything else falls into place,and then being on your own,or with someone else,is always a position of strength. You will feel as if the world is what YOU make it,and that will be true. | |
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| How do I learn to enjoy being alone?
Posted: 6/2/2008 8:42:02 AM | It is true...dancing bananas aside, mshakti
As I look back on realationships now, it seems I was always 'bargaining' for some alone time. Since I was a young child, it has somehow been an important part of my existence. Wonder what that means??? oh well,
And, to add to that, the 'few' really long term relationships of friends I know, (very rare these days, it seems), are built around the foundation of balance...your time,my time, and our time.
When things are out of balance, ummmm....something is going to tip and fall
~~~~~~~~~ 'Kimbo ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | |
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| How do I learn to enjoy being alone?
Posted: 10/18/2008 10:25:58 AM | Wow,you are one smart woman Ideoform.I now have been alone for about 2 yrs,its tough to deal with sometimes,but i believe its good for the soul.Very awesome knowledge Ideoform,,,bye for now. | |
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| How do I learn to enjoy being alone?
Posted: 10/18/2008 2:58:05 PM | I remember the old phrase, the grass is never greener on the otherside.
Sure, it's nice to come home to someone who cares and loves you
It's nice to have someone to hold you and say those three magical words causing the heart strings to play a symphony of joy
However, there are others in this world with disfigurement, mental illness or even those in other countries who don't know what electricity is....
Find what is in your heart that makes you smile - if you can't find that... then look at those less fortunate than yourself and help them - through their perspective you will find happiness and love.
Why say this? By 1995 I had loved, married, successful business, a son - lost all of it to a friend (yes, she was unfaithfull and so was my friend) - then I fell and broke my back.... low? I was horizontal!!
5 years later, I'd recovered and married again - she too left me for someone else I knew... so - what do I do now?
Enjoy life the best way I know how - alone - being grateful for all the things I have - my cup is half full - not half empty - sure, it's tough sometimes but that's when I look to the pain of others and realise - I'm not hurting as much as they are!! For that - I'm grateful
Not happy to be alone but ... happy that I've known happiness and can still smile, eat and share/hear laughter every day... alone or not. | |
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| How do I learn to enjoy being alone?
Posted: 10/18/2008 5:23:30 PM | "I'd rather be right and alone than wrong and with somebody"
Being 'alone'.....is different of course than being 'lonely'.
I've really enjoyed this time of my life being 'alone'. Freedom to think and feel and do in accordance with just me to contend with, to consider. I just feel I've much 'housekeeping' to do in "Soul and Spirit"....and distractions of a S.O. would just smudge up what I'm trying to see! :) I've family....so not 'lonely'.........I'd rather ride this wave for awhile by myself....before I jump back into the water...... there are a few things I want to better understand about me!  | |
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| How do I learn to enjoy being alone?
Posted: 10/18/2008 6:15:29 PM | | Learn to: respect yourself, like yourself, and love yourself. Then you will enoy your own company more, and feel better even when alone. THEN you can start looking for someone else to be with, and have a good chance of finding same. | |
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| How do I learn to enjoy being alone?
Posted: 10/19/2008 11:20:36 AM | I realize this post was from awhile back, but it caught my eye. I can honestly say that anyone who admits that they are truly happy being "alone" needs to reconsider what they are stating. Humans need to be with someone. If you never have contact with others you would go insane (and research shows this). However, you do not need to necessarily be in an intimate relationship. The best advice I have given people over the years about this is:
Cherish those in your life that do want to spend time with you and care about you. Focus on the positive aspects in your life. You say you have hobbies. Great! Maybe it's time to try something new and different for a change. Don't dread on what you don't have, but be thankful for what you do. Stop "looking" and the right person may come your way. List all the positive and negative characteristics of what you want and don't want in a relationship....and then stick to that when you truly are considering meeting someone and or developing a relationship! Go with your mind....and not your heart .... i have a famous saying for this that I personally truly believe and live by
"The heart often misguides, but the mind never lies!"
One other possibility is that you are going for the wrong type of women....and you continuously are getting hurt. In my opinion.... this thought of not wanting to be with anyone.....whatever the reason may be.....goes back and is much deeper than what we on here know. There is a type of therapy you should look into if you haven't already, called Imago Therapy. I believe this will help you out more than CBT, which I believe you stated that's what you need.
Hope this helps
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TrinB
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Joined: 4/27/2008
Msg: 144 | |
| How do I learn to enjoy being alone?
Posted: 10/19/2008 6:58:41 PM | hobbies? who cares about hobbies?
just talk to yourself alot....i mean alot...and talk LOUD...make sure others hear what you gotta say..like while standing in line, sitting in a waiting room, while driving your car, taking a shower.....forget singing...just talk...who knows you better than YOU? hmm i mean you can be your own best friend...you have two hands ...you can hold your own hand even....see how easy it is | |
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| How do I learn to enjoy being alone?
Posted: 10/20/2008 3:46:42 PM | | I wish I had the answer. I haven't had a date in 7 years. I guess you just have to learn to accept it and try not to think about it too much. | |
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| How do I learn to enjoy being alone?
Posted: 10/20/2008 4:48:47 PM | | no, i dont believe to be happy with whatever??? That is not being happy deep inside oneself. Dont give up hope for that special person. You just have to be happy inside the heart!! i go out and i make it a point to enjoy myself all the time. If you cant make your self happy than how do you expect to make that special person Happy?? | |
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| How do I learn to enjoy being alone?
Posted: 1/4/2009 12:35:51 PM | I'm with this guy, I'm learning to do it myself just now.. Took me a year and a half, a ton of dateing, a lot of bars and a heartbreak or two. Getting into reationships usually was never the problem for me, but I was never really OK with just being alone since the day of my seperation, so I would sabatage(SP, i know) every one and go right into another.
Its funny because I would give this advice to friends but would never do it myself. Learn to be OK with yourself and learn what YOU enjoy, then you will be ready when the right one comes along. | |
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| How do I learn to enjoy being alone?
Posted: 1/4/2009 1:48:44 PM | I think we all go through episodes where we feel lonely and get tired of being alone.
At first after my 14 year relationship tanked, it was very very difficult. But then I got involved in other things. - I joined a bowling league - hadn't bowled since gym class in High School, but I am now in my fourth season and have made some great friends. I joined a book club. I volunteer at a museum. In doing these things, it not only got me out of the house a couple of nights each week and gave me something very positive to look forward to, but I made some amazing friends in the process.
I look at being on my own this way: If I don't feel like getting out of bed on a weekend, who is going to yell at me? If I don't feel like cooking dinner or cleaning my house, who is going to b*tch about it? If I go out and don't come home until 6 am the following morning, who is going to be here to scream? The answer: Only the person in the mirror.
The best part of all of this is I have nobody to answer to and that may not be a terrible thing! | |
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azul40
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Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 149 | |
| How do I learn to enjoy being alone?
Posted: 6/15/2009 5:41:22 PM | Interesting...
But what do said lonely people do if the friends are no where to be found and family support doesn't exist? No one adresses the possibilities of this. Would be interesting to know... | |
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| How do I learn to enjoy being alone?
Posted: 6/15/2009 6:32:32 PM | | Sometimes being alone can be a wonderful insightful period of your life. You can learn more about yourself and more about what you want out of life. Make yourself as busy as you can and do all the things you want to do. Sometimes when we are in relationships we tend to forget about things that we enjoy but now you have a whole lot of time to concentrate on yourself. And next time you are in a relationship make sure you enjoy time to YOURSELF, it is important to have your own independence in a relationship and not rely on someone else to make you enjoy life. | |
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