| is it rape if...
Posted: 5/7/2008 8:59:14 PM |
initially, i'd say yes, he kept harassing you...but as i read further down, you stated, "you just go with it"...since you were "SO drunk". at that point, it's not anymore.
That's pretty much the point of using chemical intoxicants (like alcohol) to reduce resistance... eventually, the girl either passes out or says yes to get you to shut up. Both cases constitute felony sexual assault. So does using GHB, rohypnol, or rufies.
Taking off her clothes while she washed her hands is unlawful sexual contact, too. Another class 1 misdemeanor that gets you listed as a sex offender. | |
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| is it rape if...
Posted: 5/7/2008 9:32:31 PM | | MSG 32-Let me add that since posting getting a female so intoxicated that her ability to consent is impaired and is considered rape legally. There were very many men and surprisingly women also that disagreed very strongly about this. For a while I thought I was going to be the only one that held this opinion. Some rationalized what happen as just bad judgment on the part of the OP. Well as adults, we are all suppose to use good judgment even when other adults are not, or better yet not able too because of alcohol intoxication. I caution those that have this predatory behavior to get a woman very drunk and then take advantage of her. Try having this argument while in handcuffs and going through the legal process. Serving time and then having to register as a sex offender would really suck for just chasing after some drunk tail. | |
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| is it rape if...
Posted: 5/7/2008 9:47:40 PM | To quote Sublime:
Let me tell you about a girl I know,
had a drink about a hour ago.
Sitting in a corner by herself, in a bar in downtown Hell.
She heard a noise and she looked through the door.
And saw a man she'd never seen before.
Light skin, light blue eyes, a double-chin and a plastic smile.
Well, her heart raced as he walked through the door
And took an empty seat next to her at the bar.
"My brand new car is parked right outside. How'd ya like to go for a ride?"
And she said."Wait a minute I have to think."
He said, "That's fine. May I please buy you a drink"
One drink turned into 3 or 4 and they left and got into his car
and drove someplace real far.
Now babe the time has come.
How'd ya like to have a little fun?
And she said." If we could only please be on our way, I will not run."
That's when things got out of control.
She didn't want to, he had his way.
She said, "Let's Go"
He said, "No Way!"
Come on babe it's your lucky day.
Shut your mouth, were gonna do it my way.
Come on baby don't be afraid,
if it wasn't for date rape I'd never get laid.
He finished up and he started the car
He turned around and drove back to the bar.
He said."Now baby don't be sad, in my opinion you weren't half-bad."
She picked up a rock.,threw it at the car, hit him in the head ,now his got a big scar.
Come on party people won't you listen to me.
Date Rape Stylee.
The next day she went to her drawer, look up her local attorney at law,
went to the phone and filed the police report and then she took the guy's ass to court.
Well, the day he stood in front of the judge he screamed, " She lies that little slut!"
The judge knew that he was full of shit and he gave him 25 years
And now his hearted is filled with tears.
One night in jail it was getting late.
He was butt-raped by a large inmate, and he screamed.
But the guards paid no attention to his cries.
That's when things got out of control.
The moral of the date rape story, it does not pay to be drunk and horny.
But that's the way it had to be.
They locked him up and threw away the key.
Well, I can't take pity on men of his kind,
even though he now takes it in the behind.
DATE RAPE
She didn't want to TAKE IT | |
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| is it rape if...
Posted: 5/10/2008 11:21:28 AM | i was in a similar situation years ago. he was very drunk, i cldn't get away.
for my own safety... i went with it. he was soooo drunk, he was only going through the motions. never entered inside of me. when he was done, and past out. i immediately phoned the police, they came and took him away.
these days...it's very possible u may have been drugged./ be very careful, keep your wits about u, always. we have to.
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| is it rape if...
Posted: 5/10/2008 1:59:29 PM | | you should have left after the first drink..why did you stay? so you could get drunk? | |
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Posted: 5/10/2008 2:11:21 PM | | No, it isn't rape...Its rude and its wrong, but it's not rape. | |
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Posted: 5/12/2008 9:16:08 AM | | she stayed so she could get drunk f u c k e d and put the blame on someone else ====drama queen slut | |
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Posted: 6/10/2008 7:49:22 AM | I find it weird that she felt "very very drunk after one drink". I see a lot of people bashing this poster. Has anyone considered she may have been drugged? I also find it very creepy how he followed her and took off her clothes while she was otherwise engaged, and in her obvious state of mind. When she was sober, she also made it clear she was not interested...does that count for nothing?
I think more people need to be educated on what exactly legally defines rape. | |
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Posted: 6/10/2008 8:36:51 AM | OP..... you make girls everywhere look bad by asking such an ignorant question. There is no grey area to what happened. Own up to your own drunken mistake and learn from it.
I never accept drinks from men. Even if I am interested, I buy my own. Unfortunately, most men in society believe that if they buy you something that you owe them. If you can't control yourself no matter how much you have had to drink, you have no business drinking. We have all made mistakes and done things we regret, but how dare someone externalize their own self blame onto someone else.
Rape is a serious allegation and it happens often, but cases like yours make it harder for women who have truly been assaulted to receive justice. Take responsibility for your own actions. "Finally giving in" does not qualify it as rape. By saying that you just admitted that you went along with his actions and he did not force himself upon you.
It would probably be in your best interest to stay out of the bars and away from men until you fully understand the consequences for your own actions. JMO
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Posted: 6/10/2008 8:42:19 AM | DesertRhino
I love Sublime, but that song is quite inappropriate. Unfortunately it truly depicts what happens to so many people. Not so funny when you think about it being your mom or your sister though huh? | |
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Posted: 6/10/2008 8:47:03 AM | MSG 51
I don't know about any other female here, but unless someone literally ripped or cut my clothes off me, they'd probably have a really hard time getting me undressed if I didn't want to be. There seems to be more to this story we aren't being informed of. Hmmmmmmmmmm | |
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N*Love
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Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 62 | |
| is it rape if...
Posted: 6/10/2008 8:55:10 AM | | NO its not rape... just cause you went with it... it is a manipulation game and he suceeded... | |
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| is it rape if...
Posted: 6/10/2008 11:11:37 AM | | I went back and read over a few other replies. Interesting to note that DesertRhino is the only Law Enforcement Graduate Degree, and he says it's rape. As I've said, maybe the general public should get a little more educated on what constitutes rape and what doesn't. | |
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Posted: 6/10/2008 12:43:03 PM | | posted on another thread answering this same topic, you said no,, that means no,, intoxicated you cant give consent under the law, therefore still rape. you however may have a problem with posecution, for example, you state on number 5 . you just go with it, jury could go either way with that statement, . i would stay away from the alchohol, you seem to have a low tolerance to it, not your fault what happened, you were taken advantage of, which is why, any drinking and its automatically a no way for me, | |
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Posted: 6/10/2008 1:50:31 PM |
'm going to be different and say that this probably does constitute statutory rape. Before you flame me, please read this entire post. I understand that the OP was given plenty of time to back out of this situation. However, if she was drunk to the point where she wasn't in a frame of mind to give consent, it's still statutory rape. You wouldn't say a 6 year old wasn't abused because the adult said let's play a game and the child agreed to it, would you? Of course not.
I agree with most all of your post, but I'm highlighting this because I think it goes to the heart of it. He had an agenda to impair her, and did so successfully. She clearly stated that she was not interested, but he continued with the drinks until she was so impaired that she had little affect and wasn't as able to resist.
What I have a problem with is how on earth she let it go as far as she did. She had ample opportunity before she became impaired to vacate the scene, but didn't. Then, too, I'm troubled by that first drink...was she drugged? If she was drugged, which is something I've never experienced and have no idea how it affects you, but know enough to know that it lessens your ability to cope as you would under normal circumstances, then I'm leaning towards considering it rape. If the drinks weren't drugged,which I do have experience with and know how much it affects you, then no...not a chance. I believe alcohol loosens inhibitions and heightens your willingness to do things that you already consider to be OK. Alcohol does not make you do something you don't want to do. What I mean by that is that if it's my nature to be non violent, getting sauced won't suddenly make me go against my true nature and become violent.
Every step of the way, it's a choice. | |
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Posted: 6/10/2008 1:57:30 PM | Legally it's considered rape since you're too impaired to consent
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| is it rape if...
Posted: 6/10/2008 2:23:06 PM | I don't think it's rape if an obnoxious guy wears you down. The way you describe it, you were not forced just annoyed into consenting.
However, if the reason he was able to talk you into it is because he is your boss and has some sort of authority over you at work, you may have a very good case for sexual harrassment. This would have alot to do with what country/state you are in.
You should definately see a lawyer. | |
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Posted: 6/10/2008 2:59:18 PM | I can't comment legally if this situation constitutes sexual assault or not, but I can say this: As an adult, I feel responsible to control myself when I'm drinking, control WHAT I'm drinking, and have people around me who look out for me in case my own good judgement goes out the window. I think we are responsible for knowing our limit, but that is not to say that someone should take advantage of another person in their intoxicated state.
If you're in a bar or pub or something and you know you're too drunk to be doing what you're doing, tell the bartender or the bouncer. In case your friends have all left you, they are usually good enough to get you a cab and make sure you stay out of trouble. | |
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Posted: 6/10/2008 3:20:04 PM | | WOW - first no is always no, and shame on him for continuing to persue you with the pressure you describe. You are however an adult, and when no means no it also means time for you to leave. It sounds as if you were in a public place, you should have asked for help if you felt scared, rapist I am sure are cowards, your cry for help would have sent him running. I wish you the best and hope you make better decisions in the future. | |
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Posted: 6/10/2008 3:23:02 PM | Going on the info of the original poster, I counted 3 drinks consumed by a female that stated sober that she had no interest in sleeping with the guy. (How many people have one night stands on 3 drinks? Not me for sure.) I am extremely suspicious as to the content of those drinks. And if she wasn't drugged, I'd put money on him spiking her drink with extra alcohol, also illegal...also the actions of a sneaky predator hoping to get her impaired to the point of ****ing her, which by legal definitions also makes it rape.
This is to the ladies: If we want to go out and drink in moderation or excess, that is our right. Being impaired, through our own fault, or because of the actions of another (i.e. spiking drink) does not give someone else the right to have sex with us. | |
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| is it rape if...
Posted: 6/10/2008 3:44:29 PM | I don't know... what if a 'date rape' drug was involved....
I would be getting myself to a doctor and counselling.
This guy did commit sexual abuse at the least... Rape, I'm unsure of... but what he did should be looked into.. He is clearly a sexual predator of the lowest sort.
Go to a doctor, police officer, counsellor... and take it from there. That sort of behaviour should not be tolerated.
He pushed his attentions on you, had your shirt and bra off.... without your consent...
Sod what other people are saying, have this situation investigated. | |
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Posted: 6/10/2008 5:36:25 PM | Its not rape, no.
Its a drunk girl with no idea how to set boundaries in an apartment alone with a man she doesnt even like. | |
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| is it rape if...
Posted: 6/10/2008 5:50:18 PM | | Unless the drink was tainted, that's not rape. It's an unfortunate but easily avoidable situation. It's also only one side of the story. | |
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Posted: 6/21/2008 7:04:05 AM | | Thats why alot of guys go to prison.Because the next day you cry rape,,But it was not rape,when you let him in.. | |
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Posted: 6/21/2008 7:22:46 AM |
Getting drunk and sleeping with someone you didn't want to sleep with isn't rape. It's stupidity.
You weren't interested... he kept pressuring you. And you just sat there and kept drinking with him? Sorry, while the guy might be a total ***hole and all... you had every chance to get yourself out of the situation. YOU decided to stay. YOU decided to keep drinking. Then YOU decided to just "go with it".
It was your call.
Agreed. You decided to "go with it". Everyone should consume alcohol responsibly. If you are going to get sh*tfaced, do it with good friends to take care of you. | |
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