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| Need advice... this is way too complicated for me!
Posted: 5/6/2008 11:24:15 AM | Too many issues..Cancel that subscription!!
JUST SAY NO!!
You are suppose to be with someone who makes you feel special..when you are together and apart...
from reading your post...This woman doesnt make you feel that!!
She is poison and she is feeding off you for her own self esteem issues, RUN!!!!
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| Need advice... this is way too complicated for me!
Posted: 5/6/2008 11:33:09 AM | Ive been though the same thing untill I realised, he was using me to control her. I was like the big stick in the background. Do as I say or ill go back to her. He lived with me for 6 monthes and carried on taking her out every two weeks and phoning her every day. Sometines 10 times a day. He said it was to help her get over the split, the truth was he was manipulating her with this behaviour. He was lining his future life with her, with him very much in control.
I threw his stuff out on the drive and it hurt like hell to do that, I was so in love with him. It took every ounce of strength I had. That was 18 months ago, and id be lying to say im over it. yet. My only strength is when I see how unhappy he is living with a woman he can control. Once they have what they want its no challenge anymore. She would forgive him anything, a truly broken woman who just eats and eats and eats. Quite a pathetic sight realy, so dependant on him because he broke her spirit. She was once the controlling factor in that relationship, now she is nothing. No spirit, no personality, no pride. Now he has to live with the monster he created and hes so unhappy.
That broken woman could have been me. Who is to say he wouldnt have done the same to me and he was trying by taking her out and phoning her. Leave the problem with those who own it. If she left him to be with you, she will use him to control you, get off this emotional roller coaster honey while you still can. Change your phone no, address, job is neccessary. Now after 13 years you know you can love again, save it for someone who deserves your love. You are just being used sweetheart, you may love her now but in a few years you will look back and be so glad you got out with your dignity in tact. Shes just a | |
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| Need advice... this is way too complicated for me!
Posted: 5/6/2008 3:03:32 PM | Yeah I guess you're right Mysogynist... better leave them be, the bf already knows most of whats going on and he doesn't seem to really care much anyway.
Sounds like what blondetinkerbell describes as the broken woman in this case is the broken boyfriend as she can get away with almost anything, she tells him everything too I think, from what I've learned from meeting him a few times... he knew almost everything about me, she told him everything she knew. :S
Locario, the signalling I meant was in looks, smiling, winking, and just her overall facial and body language... I don't know how to describe it better, sorry!
What she used to do a lot was try to make eye contact, then if she got it start smiling, blush, and keep looking straight into my eyes. I don't know why but I couldn't break that stare easily. I put up a big plated wall now around my desk in the office, making it into a cubicle so she can't continuously keep an eye on me / start staring at me again. Maybe its nuts but it helps me keep my mind off her tricks...
I don't know why I'm attracted to her, it just happened and I have no idea why.
Maybe you're right and I somehow do attract this kind of women?
I wouldn't know though, as I've not been attracting anything else but more work over the past decade and a bit...
CN.ASP01.028, I don't need to get rid of any messages I sent to her phone, first of all they were all clean and second she deleted them already as her bf checks her phone now and then to see what contact there really is between her and me. At this time he thinks we are just good colleagues and friends from work, she told him that when I was there... So she deletes them as she only wants him to know what she tells him!
She even deletes her messages sent to me so he can't find those either.
Mary Mary Quite Contrary, I don't like playing games with people's minds, so I'll just remove myself from her game. Nothing sexual has been going on, she tried but I didn't give in to her... and in the beginning I didn't have a clue she was a cheater, she'd been in her relationship for several years and I thought she was sincere and I misread the signals until she came out... then it was 'bad relationship' and 'bad guy', 'we've grown apart during the last year'... it all sounded so sincere at the time. Now its all turned into one big mess, and the original story is lost somewhere in there!
I've carefully read and thought about everything you all said, and you're all right, she's playing me. Today I broke her control over me, and the next few days she'll surely try anything to get it back. But I'm not going to let her; if I can stay away from any sexual tendencies she displays to me, then I should also be able to stay away from her completely I think! I'm still a man... :)
So thats what I'll do; don't answer her messages, reject phonecalls, and make sure she can't talk to me again one-on-one at work. To my understanding she built up one big phone bill the past month and it will be disconnected one of these days anyway, so she soon won't be able to call me anymore anyway! I'll also of course not give her any chance to get together after work or in the weekend!
Thanks again to all who posted, you've really helped me out!  | |
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| Need advice... this is way too complicated for me!
Posted: 5/7/2008 12:56:37 AM |
Locario, the signalling I meant was in looks, smiling, winking, and just her overall facial and body language... I don't know how to describe it better, sorry! What she used to do a lot was try to make eye contact, then if she got it start smiling, blush, and keep looking straight into my eyes. I don't know why but I couldn't break that stare easily. . . . I don't know why I'm attracted to her, it just happened and I have no idea why.
No problem, YearsLost, I did get the gist of it, and was just joking about the signaling, to make a point. She can "signal" all she wants, but if you remain "dumb" to it, she'd soon stop, as she would begin to look terribly ridiculous if no one is "getting" her signals.
Congratulations on taking your first step at ending this sordid little drama. Now, go find the profile review section and you may begin the journey toward attracting the OTHER kind of women, who are not like this woman (and yes, Virginia, just like Santa Clause, those sane women DO actually exist!). | |
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