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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/10/2008 6:25:29 AM | ^^^^4dutyandhumanity
to answer your question about true or real age verses chronological age
Longevity expert Dr. Michael Roizen says that everyone has two ages: your chronological age and your real age. Your real age is determined by your lifestyle rather than your birthday.
http://www.oprah.com/health/lifestages/realage/health_real_main.jhtml
and another site--http://www.mytrueage.com/
And I do believe "age" is only a number ...you're as OLD as you feel or act.
Now your actual chronological age, no its a finite number-but hey if you want to let a number dicate how you should feel, act or who you should be with, do it...no one is stopping you..
Like the OP, he did his thing, she did hers and now he ended their engagement -it's his choice and his right...but if he never finds love again, he at least can hold to his conviction of well she lied about her age...yeah that an electric blanket will keep him warm on a cold winter's night...
editVVVV hey you hold to whatever belief you want if AGE is a big deal for you, then stick to only those that share your AGE...I never said it was a biological fact.. I simply responded to your post... | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/10/2008 6:47:36 AM | ^^^^^
Your chronological age is going to mess with your 'real' age (as defined bt Dr Roizen) whenever it has a mind to. Your ability to look, act (and breathe) is ruled by your genes. If your genes say at 60 you will start developing serious arthritis, your 'real' age is going to catch up with your chronological age. Just because an 80 year old looks and acts like someone 60 doesn't mean he can expect to live another 20 years - in fact, that's unlikely. But many 60 year olds will make 80 - even those who aren't noticably spry.
Roizen's definition of real age is a concept for us all to aspire to. It's not a biological fact. | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/10/2008 7:23:03 AM | most women lie about their age and weight. Unfortunately, that is what society does to us. I would not worry about it. It is not really a lie in the way that it could hurt anyone. Let her believe that she is that age. If she is good person and you are attracted to her, what is the difference? Some people are old at 30 and some young and 70. It depends on so many different factors. My son is 34 and his wife is 41 and they have a wonderful relationship. Some men are just not mature enough to accept an age difference. My son is 34 going on 50 if you know what I mean.
Lighten up. If you like her or love her, that should not change. Cut her some slack. I am sure you may not lie outright if that is what you want to call it but you may have left out some little portion of you or your life to put you in a better light. It is human nature. We need to take things lighter in this world. | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/10/2008 7:52:14 AM | OMG are you for real.
I havent read all the posts here but will get to it later Im sure.
You are 53yrs old and was so happy in love you proposed marriage to this beautiful women but alas she told a lie, is she married to someone else? is she in love with someone else? does she have 6 kids that she supports? No No she said she was a little older, my god strike the wrench down.
I ask you OP how long did it take you to find this special someone and now you are posting on here about such a trivial thing.
hahaha Imagine if we all felt like this, everytime I asked a man if my bum looks big in these jeans and he smiles and says NO or I say to someone wow you are so clever when Im really thinking that didnt take brain cells, then should I post my trust issues about this man or they about me.
That little misrepresentation of her age does what harm to you, does it change your life together in anyway or isnt it just that everything is exactly the same but her drivers licence has a different date of birth on it.
I actually fear for her and her possible future with a man that can make such a big issue over something so tiny then what if she actually behaves human and makes a real mistake.
By the way, I still dont know what my mothers age is and I dont care, she can be 21yrs forever if she wants LOL | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/10/2008 8:42:28 AM |
most women lie about their age and weight. Unfortunately, that is what society does to us.
I don't disagree that women over 40 have it tough. Entertainment media sends out a subtle but harsh message about older women, in that women over 40 generally disappear from view. Anyone remember Karen Black? She was the big name actress in the '70s. How about Deborah Winger? Seen 'em lately?
Sadly, this is what makes reading profiles of middle aged women who immediately specify superficial characteristics - height, hair, dark hair etc. so irritating. If you feel you need to lie about your age but you are going to disdain men for superficial reasons, you're a hypocrite as well as a liar. And let's not pretend that personal vanity plays no role in the desire to dissemble.
It isn't clear from reading the OP's original post whether he met this woman online. If he did, supposing that in addition to mis-stating her age, she set her own age filter to stop at, say, 55. Would that be cool? Sounds kinda shallow to me. Lot's of women set their filters to stop at their own (alleged) ages, as though there aren't men who also keep themselves in good shape, and are otherwise lucky with their health. Lying about your age so you can meet men who are 'appropriate' for you is self-serving garbage.
If you're going to be angry about people being judged in a superficial way, you need to get angry about all the ways in which men and women are devalued. Otherwise, shut up. | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:36:01 AM | Well maybe the site should be named POHF......Plenty of hypocritical fish.or POSF ...Plenty of Superficial Fish.......sad to say but we cant change human nature. We are for the most part all superficial and into certain looks. And our perception of OURSELVES can at sometimes be skewed. Certain things for sure cant be changed except in our minds......such as our age........I still say the OP's friend.....due to her looking and acting younger thought the dating might stay just there ....dating..........and thought no harm no foul.........she got caught up in that lie and did not know how to extridite herself for being foolish.
I have forgiven people for stealing from me, for lying to me, for disappointing me in a lot of ways. I have no qualms about EVER giving someone a second chance. People do stupid things for stupid reasons. I am far from perfect..I only strive to be better......The only thing I dont forgive is disrespecting my God deliberately. You dont have to believe as I do EVER.......just respect my rights to believe as I wish, in every avenue of my life as long as it is not illegal.
If the OP choose not forgive someone he professed to love for 18 months I respect his decision. I only hope at some point when he gets older he doesnt look back with regret. | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:53:40 AM | Funny, she looked 53yrs old but is really 61yrs.
You look in your 60's but are really 53yr.
Should have been a good match.
Oh well, good luck in your continued search for love.
Hope it doesnt take too long before you look 70+ | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/10/2008 10:35:36 AM | My wife was older than me it turned out. When I first met her she told me a younger age and I never discussed age again, we just got on so well and I fell deeply in love. When I found out I didnt consider it a lie, the subject just wasnt brought up, I just laughed and said wow good genes.
Your priviledge OP to end the relationship but for me, it never crossed my mind and I had some beautiful years with her, dont want to even think about what I could have missed if I had let something like that ruin our life together.
She wasnt perfect, neither was I, pity we couldnt all be as perfect as you OP for surely you are perfect to make such a strong decision on an issue of an age lie.
I bet you always went back to the shop and told them they gave you too much change because to keep it would be a lie and stealing. You probably told your children nothing but the truth and never masked anything just so they feel better. Wow, you would have told them Santa Clause was a lie wouldnt you? And as for that Easter Bunny pffft. You did tell them that didnt you because that is a lie and if you didnt how could they trust you and not suspect you are lying about other things.
This is rediculous thread.
LOL @ poster who said her mum is still 21yrs old, all the ladies over 40yr can be 21yr in my book xx. | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/10/2008 10:41:24 AM | Is this not the real reason for not making age the absolute criteria for knowing another?
Amlaee has hit on this point exactly. If one looks older, it seems to me that they should be dating those that look and act similarly, and if his significant other looks about the same as he looks, and acts that way as well, what is the point?
Now, I wonder how the OP would feel if he wanted to date someone that looked much younger, and he thought they were, but in reality, they were close in age and she dismissed him because of his older looks, and not because of his birth date?
You can hide your birth date, but you can not hide how nature, life and your genetics have treated you. Would it not be better to go with what you enjoy and works for you using the laws of attraction, and not the laws of birth?
Just my opinion.......  | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/10/2008 11:05:33 AM |
You can hide your birth date, but you can not hide how nature, life and your genetics have treated you. Would it not be better to go with what you enjoy and works for you using the laws of attraction, and not the laws of birth?
Ridiculous. How about when you drop dead ten years before your spouse because, despite looking great, your genes give you a bad heart? Aging = higher probability of illness and death. If the 'law of birth' (?) says you're a decade older than your spouse, your spouse runs a good chance of being widowed early or having a partner with an age related illness, regardless of your self-assessed and undoubtedly very generous view of your own appearance. It does matter, and your partner has a right to know.
'Laws of attraction' my ass. Laws of conceit and self-delusion is more like it.
PoF = Plenty of Fools. | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/10/2008 11:15:42 AM | | Good lord.....now we are becoming obsessive............You can have two 50 year olds getting married tomorrow and in the blink of an eye one could be gone. None of us knows what life has in store. Happiness comes alone rarely in life and to dismiss is for reasons of woulda, coulda, shoulda's is rediculous. There is not one of us immune to disaster or disease at any age. My husband passed at 60 and had I been 38, 48, or 58, I would still be a widow. My son was killed at 16, had it been 26 , 36, or 46, I would still have been a grieving mother. Disecting every little nuance of the reasons why someone shouldnt be together is what keeps us apart. | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/10/2008 11:19:58 AM | I'm just curious to know this from PoF folks defending the woman's behavior to perpetuate a lie for 18 months:
Name some lies about yourself, or perhaps omissions of truth, that you also find acceptable enough so that you misrepresent yourself to your romantic partner.
Name some lies about your partner, or perhaps omissions of truth from your partner, that you find unacceptable if they misrepresented themself to you.
Again this thread isn't about one lying about their age, or the guy rejecting the woman because he prefers to date women closer to his age. It's about perpetuating a lie for 18 months, 6 months into an engagement.
Ok continue your off-topic rants. | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/10/2008 11:52:57 AM |
My husband passed at 60 and had I been 38, 48, or 58, I would still be a widow.
I doubt you want to see the point - but the point is, you are more likely to die as you get older, and your spouse be left a widow. Yes, people die at all ages, but they're far more likely to die at 70 than 50. Sucks, but true. And if there is a big gap between two person's ages, the younger partner has a right to go into the relationship with his/her eyes open.
Partners have a right to know these things about potential mates, and I think a loving partner would want his/her mate to know everything. Were I about to be married, I'd expect my partner would be fully informed about my health, finances, and any events in my past that might prove startling. That's my definition of caring. | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/10/2008 12:01:25 PM | I'm just curious to know this from PoF folks defending the woman's behavior to perpetuate a lie for 18 months:
You know the responses would have been quite different had a woman been the OP. Quite typical of the freakshow that constitutes POF. When a man starts a thread with a legitimate complaint, he is often ridiculed and insulted by many of the jaded hens and a few men who engage in ad hominem arguments rather than employing logic and empathy. One wonders if there is any crime that a woman is capable of.
Anyway, using the "logic" of some of these posters, I guess I could claim that I'm Spanish or Italian, to woo women who might otherwise discriminate against people of Indian origin. After all, my parents do hail from the north of India and green eyes and fair skin do run in my family. Most people think that's what we are to begin with, but I always correct them. And, I do feel that I'm no different than anyone else having been born and raised in this country. There, I think I've satisfied all of the POF criteria for a justified lie. Thanks POF for your immortal words of wisdom! | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/10/2008 12:46:26 PM | Be very careful who you call a fool my dear sir because it takes an idiot to even make that claim.........
Opinions are valued no matter your position, and what makes this forum worth the time, is to hear others points of views without name calling and an attitude of repugnant nature.
If you are dating someone with the thoughts of how long before one of you drops dead, then I believe you have larger issues to work on. There are no guarantees of length of life, or quality, and to create a relationship based on that is like sitting by a swimming pool but never swimming out of fear of drowning.
What your partner has to know is how well you two fit with all of your background, and not primarily your age. As someone that had to help bury his younger sister this past year, I can tell you, that age had little to do with it, and much more the condition of her body and life style overall, and no one would have ever thought that a brother seven years older than his sister would out live her when they were children playing together.
Your "ass" may be your attraction point but it has little to do with your brain power....or maybe it does....... 
Just my opinion...... | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/10/2008 12:56:08 PM | ^ blah blah blah blah blah
Well, well...Look who decided to chime in...one of the people that I was referring to. Funny to see how defensive people get when they are called on their BS. An opinion is like an a-hole, everyone has one. You can dance around it any way you like, but at the heart of the issue is the fact that she misled him about a fact that she can not change...and those are the worst lies. | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/10/2008 1:10:04 PM | Chime in??? I suggest you read the entire forum thread and you will see my multiple posts from the start.
And when you have something to say that is relative to the topic, and not just blasting the person, then do so please. There are ways to banter without demeaning others, and ways to poke fun that the topic or response in such a way as to show some class, tact, and respect.
What is funny to see is you coming in now and saying what you have with, the way you said it, with nothing even close to what the topic is all about or reasons given for most comments.
OT........I contend, and will continue to contend, that a persons genetics, life style, conditioning, eating habits, and over all youthful attitude will far out weigh a specific date on a birth certificate. With that in mind, is it not just as important, if not more so, to have a relationship with another that is similar to what you are, and not let it be mostly determined by their age?
Just my opinion....... | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/10/2008 1:16:34 PM |
Opinions are valued no matter your position, and what makes this forum worth the time, is to hear others points of views without name calling and an attitude of repugnant nature.
I find hypocrites, liars and morons to be repugnant. Guess that's my cross to bear.
If you are dating someone with the thoughts of how long before one of you drops dead, then I believe you have larger issues to work on. There are no guarantees of length of life, or quality, and to create a relationship based on that is like sitting by a swimming pool but never swimming out of fear of drowning.
Simple concepts trip you up, but I'll try again: there's a guarantee on length of life alright - that your life has a length, and as your age gets higher, you get closer to its end. And that's true, notwithstanding accidents, sudden illness etc. If you're 40 there's and excellent chance you've got 20 more years - at 80, not so good. Oh and Dr Phil - about people with issues over their partners health and longevity - that's for them to decide, not you. I think my partner has a right to know all about me - that's caring, and relationships aren't a game.
I'd like to end with an emoticon for you, but I don't see a smiley face trying to shove its nose up someone else's ass. I'm sure all the ladies will be most impressed with your defense of lying. | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/10/2008 1:19:50 PM | | Too funny, deacon. I have been here since this thread began and my post was completely on topic, but you choose not to see it that way because it bothers you. Let me break it down for you, a lie is a lie, but some are more serious - like the ones you can't change. The justifications that people like yourself and others have given can be extended to any other fact/characteristic about yourself as long as you feel a certain way or are afraid of being discriminated against. I don't buy that reasoning. As soon as she realized that there was more to this relationship than just a one time encounter or a flash in the pan, then she should have been honest. At least he could have made an informed decision without all the heartache. | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/10/2008 1:32:00 PM |
Ridiculous. How about when you drop dead ten years before your spouse because, despite looking great, your genes give you a bad heart? Aging = higher probability of illness and death. If the 'law of birth' (?) says you're a decade older than your spouse, your spouse runs a good chance of being widowed early or having a partner with an age related illness, regardless of your self-assessed and undoubtedly very generous view of your own appearance. It does matter, and your partner has a right to know.
I can tell you one thing about love, marriage and life. THERE are NO GUARANTEES.
So,if you are fearful of being widowed, having to care for an ill spouse, or having your partner just up and leave you for whatever reason, then don't seek a committed relationship. Then you won't have to worry about it.
Cindy O | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/10/2008 1:34:53 PM |
You know the responses would have been quite different had a woman been the OP. Quite typical of the freakshow that constitutes POF. When a man starts a thread with a legitimate complaint, he is often ridiculed and insulted by many of the jaded hens and a few men who engage in ad hominem arguments rather than employing logic and empathy. One wonders if there is any crime that a woman is capable of. You know.. sometimes when a woman starts a thread .. the same thing happens to her from the males contributing. It seems you are here in this particular post to ridicule and insult those that have differing opionions than yours. You even put down your own gender and accuse them of "ad hominem arguments" You sir, appear to be no better than those you chastise. I do see that you had nothing but kudos for those that did indeed agree with you.
This is your opinion on the topic:
As soon as she realized that there was more to this relationship than just a one time encounter or a flash in the pan, then she should have been honest. At least he could have made an informed decision without all the heartache.
*Wonders why you just couldn't post it and leave your superiority rhetoric out of it* | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/10/2008 1:38:24 PM |
OT........I contend, and will continue to contend, that a persons genetics, life style, conditioning, eating habits, and over all youthful attitude will far out weigh a specific date on a birth certificate.
Your genes control your aging process. If your body is wired to produce too much cholesterol, over time it will build up in your arteries, and someday you'll have a stroke or heart attack. This can happen regardless of conditioning. And it's much more likely to happen at 60 than 30.
Age matters. Significant differences in age matter more. Lying about significant differences in age is not harmless. | |
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