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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?      Home login  
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 pazoozoo
Joined: 8/28/2006
Msg: 351
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wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?Page 15 of 21    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)
msg. 354, If the person you date for 12 mos., and are engaged to for 6 mos., and enters into a business as well as social relationship with you, is so aloof or narcisstic that never once do they even teasingly ask to see your driver's license picture or passport pic. that tells your real age, or asks about your school years, or b'day parties when you were small, or bothers to carry on chitchat with your friends or family that would reveal the lie, or look in scrapbooks with pictures of you that have dates, then IMO, you should dang well be forgiven for lying about your age.
 ramdael
Joined: 3/29/2008
Msg: 352
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wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/12/2008 9:27:37 PM
Awomen has 3 ages i she is 2. she looks 3 she tells u haha... a womens progativ they say just count ue blessings if she is the one 4 u stay wiz her and hav a great time..who know how long u both goin to liv y not enjoy what u hav now ..now is all u hav go 4 it...age is a number... with cosmetic surg everybody looks younger ...what is ur problem REALY?????????????
 Bikeman_
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 353
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/13/2008 6:44:41 AM

a womens progativ they say just count ue blessings if she is the one 4 u stay wiz her and hav a great time..who know how long u both goin to liv y not enjoy what u hav now ..now is all u hav go 4 it...age is a number... with cosmetic surg everybody looks younger ...what is ur problem REALY?????????????
Hmm do you have reading comprehension and/or extreme difficulties regarding standard English grammar?

Since you have difficulty with reading comprehension: the problem is a lie perpetuated over 18 months. You might expect your partner to become more forthcoming to you as time marches on, instead of the reverse? Does this help you understand the issue here?
 Rmadonna05
Joined: 2/20/2005
Msg: 354
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wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/13/2008 5:53:42 PM
It could be that she didn't know that you didn't read her profile. Did you look at it when you were chatting to see? Of course, she could just like younger men. It's like that nowadays, with more women going for the younger men.
No, I don't think you are shallow at all. But I think that there are advantages with anything. She is probably more mature than some of the younger women(that's not always true). She might be able to talk about more things in life. Also, she may be more settled and know what she really wants. However, younger women often like the maturity of older men.

In the end, the decision is yours.
 dave4754
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 355
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/14/2008 2:02:28 PM
OP here:

This post of Ladyc4 is exactly my dilemna, shallow as it seems, I am concerned that we will not meet the goals we spent hours discussing and run out of time. 8 yrs in that time period IS signifigant. For you BOTH, my challenge is now....... can I accept it. I might , she is that wonderful, but it is taking its toll on me and our relationship that at this point has slipped to bf/gf.
 galonthemt
Joined: 10/31/2007
Msg: 356
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/14/2008 3:20:21 PM
OP Let me just give you food for thought. My husband passed at the age of 60 I was 58. Did we achieve all our goals? Of course we didnt. We were in essence the same age. At the age of 62 I built my own home. I was my own contractor and did 50% of the work on my own. Age is never a determinater in anything I do. It just never occurs to be to say...."Should I be doing this at my age"

My grandmother was 11 yrs older than my grandfather.He passed at 67 she was 96, she live 17 yrs longer than he did. Did they achielve all their goals? Of course not. But they had 47 wonderful years together. And would have been happy had it been 10.
The point being.....goals are important to have and work toward. But if you sit and think about not achieving them, you wont. And not because you think one or the other may die, but because your focusing on that.

Please stop focusing on what might happen in the future. You could very well be the one getting a fatal disease in a year or two. Would you want her to leave you because of it? I'm sure she wouldnt. Her love for you wouldn't allow it. Enjoy each other TODAY. None of us are promised tomorrow.
 anyoneoutthier
Joined: 3/19/2007
Msg: 357
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/14/2008 3:37:17 PM
The Op has to think about the future as he has questions if she wont lie again to benafit her self, if he feels he cant belive her than its not worth trying to make the realtionship work all it will do is build antomostiy and its all down hill from thier. Trust is one of the main things in making any realtionship work and he lost his trust how is he to belive what ever she says.
 galonthemt
Joined: 10/31/2007
Msg: 358
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/14/2008 5:30:55 PM
msg 361 please read the OP's last post msg 359.........he is past the lying..his concern is her age......
They are together trying to work that out...................
 chelsea_hou
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 359
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/14/2008 6:02:40 PM
Would you have gone out with her if you would of known her real age? I get the age thing, I wouldn't date someone 8 years older or younger. To me that is a signifcant difference. The guy I'm currently with is 6 months younger and that seems to work for me. You seem to be looking into the future, I do that as well. You really need to think about this before you comit. Good Luck!!!
 easyoneverything
Joined: 1/27/2008
Msg: 360
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/14/2008 6:13:51 PM
haha nick! Glad you've kept your sense of humour! And I take your point.
cheers,
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 361
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wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/14/2008 6:34:21 PM

My husband passed at the age of 60 I was 58.

Mine was 49, I was 47. We actually discussed plans for the next day on Jan 22. At about 4AM Jan.23, I was calling 911.

I hate to see you abandon what you've developed with this lady over the date on her birth certificate. Because as I understand it, THAT is your issue, NOT the falsehood of her being 8 yrs younger than she actually is. Many posters have sorta MENTIONED that( ) (ya THINK??) so OK we GET that, but apparently the falsehood isn't what's got your shorts in a knot...it's the fact that she's 8 yrs older than you. If she looks and acts younger than her actual age, I don't see what the problem is, unless you are looking to have more children?? I didn't think so.

Yes it could hit a point were suddenly she ages faster. And you could get hit by a bus tomorrow.
I wouldn't presume to tell you what to do,but this much I do know; it's damn hard to find a loving relationship that wants to be serious when you get up to AARP age.
I'd hate to see you toss this lady aside and then spend the next 5 yrs dating around and not finding anyone that really walks in your soul.
But it is your life...if her age creeps you out so much that you can't remember how much you LOVED her 2 minutes before she said "I'm really 61", then I guess you'd better move on. You have to live with yourself and your decisions...I DON'T.
Cindy O
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 362
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wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/14/2008 7:12:14 PM
Dave: My mother-in-law was 6 years older than my father-in-law (I caught them uhm "going at it" on the living room couch.. at the ripe old age of 80 (her) and 74 (him) *acknowledges everyone trying to get that visual out of their heads*.
She died at 90.. exactly two weeks after him. They reached their goals and beyond. Take it One Day At a Time.
 Sharzi
Joined: 10/6/2007
Msg: 363
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/14/2008 7:25:25 PM
OP....

I believe in all cards being on the table. The age I have posted is not my actual age, but I have a notation to ask me about it if you talk to me.

In your case, to know she was deceiving you for so long was wrong.... but.... if you were truly in love with her, you might be upset about the deception, but you would continue to love her because real and true love doesn't just go away because one person is that much older than the other person. Have you asked her why she lied? Maybe she was afraid of losing you? Has she lied to you about other things?

Lying is an issue, but it's something you can work on. Relationships are like that... always working to make it stronger/better.

Bottom line is, you're the only one who can make the decision whether you love her enough to work though it, or not.

Sharzi
 4dutyandhumanity
Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 364
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wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:18:11 PM

in your case, to know she was deceiving you for so long was wrong.... but.... if you were truly in love with her, you might be upset about the deception, but you would continue to love her because real and true love doesn't just go away because one person is that much older than the other person.


What a self-serving load of b.s. You would think true love doesn't go away just because you're older, given that you're looking for guys substantially younger than your stated age of 50, which you're also lying about.
Seems like you have a problem finding 'real and true love' with guys your own age (whatever that might be), but I guess that's a different story.


Lotta folks in their second childhoods here on PoF.
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 365
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wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:37:42 PM
^^^ Okay, Lets do this differently.
You meet a girl. You're both the same age. You fall in love. You get married. Two years later you both find out that the government made a mistake on her birth registration and she is actually 5 years older than what you both thought. Her mother and father were killed in a car crash when she was a baby, and none of her remaining relatives had clued-in to the error.

Do you suddenly stop loving her because she's 5 years older than you both thought???
 decent_m
Joined: 1/31/2008
Msg: 366
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:43:23 PM
LOL The movie "Grumpy Old Men" comes to mind.

4dutyandhumanity, Im curious why you have on your profile....."Actually, you can fib about your age, but phony pictures are just rude" Yet your stance on this thread has remained strong and one quote "You don't like the fact that lying about age matters - well, it does. Be honest or accept the consequences".
 Karma ll
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 367
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wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/14/2008 9:19:58 PM
I can't believe so much to do over age--its numbers!! the point of it being a lie--get over it--you act like you never lie about anything!--If you cared about her before you knew, why would that change...be happy--enjoy life and stop looking at the age--enjoy each other!! I date younger men, because they are fun and can think about life instead of a couch and movie---they are attracted to me--and I really do discourage it-but I am not looking to get married to them, teach them, or support them--so enjoy your life every day, and ##### what anyone thinks.........jmo
 anyoneoutthier
Joined: 3/19/2007
Msg: 368
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/14/2008 10:49:20 PM
: ^^^ Okay, Lets do this differently.
You meet a girl. You're both the same age. You fall in love. You get married. Two years later you both find out that the government made a mistake on her birth registration and she is actually 5 years older than what you both thought. Her mother and father were killed in a car crash when she was a baby, and none of her remaining relatives had clued-in to the error.



She didnt lie for her gain like the OP SO did. Its the lieing and deciving that is where it all is at. it makes a person wounder what esle she would lie about.
 brazenangel
Joined: 7/5/2007
Msg: 369
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wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/14/2008 10:59:43 PM
Thank you fredhh (msg 8)...i agree... and in real life, if we can get away with it, also our weight. i usually subtract off a few pounds.
 yoodle
Joined: 9/30/2006
Msg: 370
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Inlaws with reversed age difference--
Posted: 5/14/2008 11:11:42 PM
Post 366 (wishes granted)...awwwww...acknowledgement aside, that's a FABULOUS story. Thanks!
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 371
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wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/15/2008 8:43:32 AM

Seems like you have a problem finding 'real and true love' with guys your own age (whatever that might be), but I guess that's a different story.

I'm not sure it IS a different story...perhaps some women report themselves as being younger because have found that a significant number of men their own age are rigid, judgemental, set in their own ways as solid as cement, it's their way or the highway...??

I cannot say that this has been my personal experience,but I hear about it a lot.

Lotta folks in their second childhoods here on PoF.


I never made it out of my first childhood and I believe that's what keeps me out of institutional situations.


You would think true love doesn't go away just because you're older

Well, it's not SUPPOSED to.But then a lot of us are here in singlehood because something that wasn't SUPPOSED TO happen, DID.
Cindy O
 MelloDLyn
Joined: 10/25/2004
Msg: 372
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wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/15/2008 9:58:41 AM
No the thought has crossed my mind also when I was asked to move in with someone older. 1st of all she did lie. Once a liar in my book always a liar. It is a big red flag. She is not secure with her self to be honest so feels the need to lie. I say dump her!
 maculon
Joined: 5/2/2008
Msg: 373
The First Lie is the worst Lie
Posted: 5/15/2008 10:15:24 AM
When someone chooses to lie about their age, even the ones that have a header stating their age and in the body of the text they so, now that you've read this far, I'm really 55...or whatever. If you chose to ignore that this person is a liar and also assume this is an isolated incident, don't go crying to anyone. My experience shows about 20% lie.

Greg
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 374
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wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/15/2008 10:57:36 AM

4dutyandhumanity, Im curious why you have on your profile....."Actually, you can fib about your age, but phony pictures are just rude" Yet your stance on this thread has remained strong and one quote "You don't like the fact that lying about age matters - well, it does. Be honest or accept the consequences".
Ha ha..Busted! Nice catch decent m.. I've tried looking at 4duty's profile, but it's been hidden.
 4dutyandhumanity
Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 375
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wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/15/2008 6:22:20 PM

4dutyandhumanity, Im curious why you have on your profile....."Actually, you can fib about your age, but phony pictures are just rude" Yet your stance on this thread has remained strong and one quote "You don't like the fact that lying about age matters - well, it does. Be honest or accept the consequences".



Easy question to answer. I went through a period where, of four women I met, three had shaved a few years of their ages. Unlike 'Jane', they told me right away, and they'd only subtracted three years. I figured if I was going to be a stickler about age, I might as well give up online dating, since most women seem to be unable to honestly state their ages.

This thread is making me reconsider that - I'm finding the thought of a woman together enough to present herself honestly as being kind of hot. On the other hand, the ladies on this thread, who seem to spend most of their time staring into malfunctioning mirrors (you're aging too, girls), are making 'true love' sound a lot like manipulation. Hey Dave - if you were 61, do you think Jane would be interested in *you*? I doubt it.

As to those who can't find 'appropriate' men their own age: you can have all the momma's boys, and all the clowns who go after older women because women their own age tell them to go to hell. Send decent_m and email and find out which category he falls into.
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