| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/19/2008 8:21:08 PM | | 4duty.. u realy look like my dad and its not just the polyester its ur energy field ...its hard to find someone at the best of times so when we get older its even harder...but youth is 90% attitude 10% look and age have nothing to do wiz attraction. | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/21/2008 6:09:14 AM | Probably what I am going to say has been covered already.
I just think
1. she must love you so much that for the fear of losing you she kept her real age all these time .... and she must have had a reason …the reason is you leaving her…. And the fact that, you now think you won't be able to reach your goals together because of this age difference...proves she was right…..who is to say you won't reach your goals… but your assumption.
2. if she would’ve told her correct age at the first place the chances of you two getting together probably would have been close to zero. before knowing her age you were interested enough to go all the way to be engaged and now you are not sure, this proves you NEVER would have considered getting to know her if you knew her birth age.
3. She must look much younger than her birth age for you not suspecting it all this time.
4. Probably most people won't give their correct age on most sites for a good reason, "it's not wise to do so".
5. As much as people say age is just a number … don't believe it ... it's really more than a number and people do judge each other or even discriminate because of age.
Only one thing can determine whether you will or will not stay with someone like this lady and that's not her age it's the strength of your love for her ….all the rest is really insignificant.
Another point what if you were her and she was 8 years younger????….do you think she should think and feel the way you do???? Do you think it’s fair if she says it would be harder to reach your goals because of your age????? | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/21/2008 6:31:34 AM | ladyc4 wrote:
******perhaps some women report themselves as being younger because have found that a significant number of men their own age are rigid, judgemental, set in their own ways as solid as cement, it's their way or the highway...?? ******
Yup, sharzi/ladyc4. That is my observation too. Why is it that men over 50 act that way? I have just had a run in with one. I find I am having better rapport with younger than 50. It is unfortunate that the reason I am attracted to them is the very reason I should really stay away from them. And yes, if the ladies try to improve in their looks, why is that men, who normally look older than their age, have never bothered?
With exception, I am tired of a father figure.  | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/21/2008 9:05:42 AM |
4duty.. u realy look like my dad and its not just the polyester its ur energy field
Yeah, ramdael - how about y'all post a photo of yourself, so we can see what you look like - a current photo, btw. Or at least one of 'ur' energy field.
And yes, if the ladies try to improve in their looks, why is that men, who normally look older than their age, have never bothered?
What - you want guys to wear make-up? If you mean staying in shape, some people work at keeping themselves in shape, and some don't. That cuts across both genders. Go to the mall and have a look around. | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/21/2008 9:17:23 AM | Wow, what an incredible slice of human opinion on this topic of age.
Sharzi,,, I went to your profile and looked it over, you are a very attractive woman and as for your profile well it reads right there that you are not a Barbie. Great, no surprise then when you meet, only a jerk would say you are fat! As for your not recieving emails from people over 50 well again you are up front ... right on!
I posted this as I was really hurt and noone to turn to in the small town i live in. The opinions expressed here helped to make me feel human at least in that I SHOULD still love her as only her age changed. The Fact is though I have been LIED to for a very long time over very intense conversations concerning time, something she has less of than she told me. This takes time to absorb, analyse and why should I when I was so honest with her about everything, she asked about all of MY dates, relationships etc. Where was her honesty, why not be forthright with me.
It is true that if she had told me she was 8 yrs older I probably would not have continued dating her, that would have been my loss as this lady has taught me many things. However, if she would have told me around the first month of our engagement I might have felt better and willing to continue marrying her, other issues since have come up regarding totally honesty and her ability to see things only from her perpective. This and the age are the reasons I regret to say will spell the death knell for this relationship, I am hurt and sorry for any hurt I have caused but we are still talking and she still is a great catch. Age does matter .........to some!
Honesty for the most part seems to matter (as expressed in this thread) TO ALL!! Be honest and good luck fishing, thanks for your comments
Dave  | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/21/2008 9:52:51 AM | 4duty
What - you want guys to wear make-up? If you mean staying in shape, some people work at keeping themselves in shape, and some don't. That cuts across both genders. Go to the mall and have a look around.
Hey, you don't have to wear make-up to look better. I promise! Have a good hair cut, more up-to-date attire and yes, won't hurt if you have a healthy lifestyle. Have a positive outlook. Get into a good hobby, a sport. You will see you will look much younger than your age. I know a 49 year old guy who can put to shame many 20-30 year olds. ;)
You are lucky gray hair makes a man more distinguished. You don't even have to dye your hair. As far as I know and based on my and friends' observations, more ladies have a better way of looking after themselves, at least after 50. So I stand by my statement! | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/21/2008 9:56:09 AM |
something she has less of than she told me.
And you know this because...?
Every day we hear about people living to be over 100. We also hear about people of 24, 35, etc dying by accident, misadventure, catastrophic illness. Unless God has revealed to you the exact day that this lady's life will end, how can YOU KNOW how much time she may or may not have left.
other issues since have come up regarding totally honesty and her ability to see things only from her perpective. This and the age are the reasons I regret to say will spell the death knell for this relationship
Meaning you no disrespect, I think what's really going on here is another damaged man who suddenly realizes he's ventured an "unsafe" distance into a committed relationship and is now looking for a reason to backpedal, without actually totally exiting the scene.
Please, Dave, sh*t or get off the pot.
If you do not want to be in a committed relationship that has a FUTURE(however long or short that may be) then don't leave her twisting in the wind
we are still talking and she still is a great catch
Lay your cards on the table,dude. If she is OK with continuing to see you in a relationship that is going nowhere,fine. But don't dink around pretending you are still considering marriage while you get your nookie fix and look around for a woman of a more suitable age that you will dump her for. OK she lied about something.If you can't let that go, then WALK AWAY NOW. Don't let your diminished respect for her be an excuse to play sh*thead games.
Cindy O | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/21/2008 10:13:55 AM | Ladyc................your the bomb.................
Dave...................you are misguided.................I think all you did by starting this thread was add to your confusion........do some very serious thinking and make a decisison...........one way or another you and Jane have to get on with your lives , either together or separate..................
Good Luck to you both...I dont think either of you are bad people....just human......... | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/21/2008 10:23:22 AM | | Oh Big Deal....if you love her....ask her WHY she lied.....then either deal w/ it....or get out....everyone lies at some point in their life.....if you say you never have....then you just lied......lol | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/21/2008 2:10:56 PM |
Hey, you don't have to wear make-up to look better. I promise! Have a good hair cut, more up-to-date attire and yes, won't hurt if you have a healthy lifestyle. Have a positive outlook. Get into a good hobby, a sport. You will see you will look much younger than your age. I know a 49 year old guy who can put to shame many 20-30 year olds. ;)
No argument here - except that it's equally true for males and females. | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/21/2008 2:23:40 PM | Do you love her? Get over her age...women throught the 'ages' have lied about
their age!!!!
She never saw fit to tell you ... maybe because she saw that itsy bitsy tiny part in you
that IS shallow....
Her age isn't important. She was the same age when you fell in love and proposed...you just found out a number...BIG DEAL.
Enjoy your life with her. Life isn't about numbers...its about the person you are in love with. | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/21/2008 3:39:30 PM | Another point what if you were her and she was 8 years younger????….do you think she should think and feel the way you do???? Do you think it’s fair if she says it would be harder to reach your goals because of your age?????
Well for one thing she wouldnt have been lieing about her age, this is all about lieing and deciveing some one for a long time and you women think he should just look it over and not worry about it. But if it was a man you would want to be hanging him by his ba==s for lieing. | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/21/2008 4:14:30 PM | basic and important as one's real age. . . .
Well, I haven't ever lied about it. In fact, never had to. Peeps just make assumptions, and don't tell you what they are. But I can think of a million or more things MORE important than one's real age. . . .
Fact of the matter is about 50% more men lie about their ages on these sites than women do. They lie almost as much about their weight (within 6%), and considerably more about their height.
OPie, if you love her, keep on keepin' on. If this shakes your so-called love to it's core: so be it.
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| what if she lied about age.......
Posted: 5/21/2008 4:55:19 PM | I wrote this earlier on...........and what is so suprising to me is how some regard the truth as trite or to be utilized when convenient....
The fact that she lied about her age is morally repugnant to me. The essence of any solid relationship is based on integrity and trust...
Without that foundation, it is simply a matter of time until the next betrayal is exposed...
When I review a profile, I trust that the age depicted is just that....accurate and truthful...
I have on occasion found that in the narrative a different age appears with the claim of " it was lowered to be in a certain search category" or " the system wouldn't let me change it". They are both fallacious arguments......just be honest about your age...it is what it is......if the system won't allow the change, then create a new profile and retain your integrity.
I personally will not engage in a dialogue with a liar........
OP......my condolences ..........I can only imagine the next big lie that is out there waiting for you. | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/21/2008 5:24:35 PM |
you women think he should just look it over and not worry about it. But if it was a man you would want to be hanging him by his ba==s for lieing
Personally, given that he's not old enough to be my dad nor young enough to be my son, I don't much care whether a man tells me his age or not. If we start getting serious I do appreciate a heads-up about significant issues like serious health problems, retirement plans( if he is not already retired), but age is just a number. I guess I might feel bad that a man felt it NECESSARY to lie about his age, because that would tell me he'd been running into a lot of shallow women and men who've been emotionally abused like that can be hard to have a relationship with. But I seriously doubt I would feel compelled to hang him up by the balls...
Cindy O | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/21/2008 5:40:25 PM | Re post 405:
"However, if she would have told me around the first month of our engagement I might have felt better and willing to continue marrying her,..."
Good point!
"...other issues since have come up regarding totally honesty and her ability to see things only from her perpective"
That is a very serious factor. Because to "reply" to some of the arguments made by some other posters (re love over age), love is one thing, marriage is another. And the "ability to see things only from her perpective" is a very serious red flag re marriage, even if not re love per se. | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/23/2008 3:06:44 AM | Dave (OP).....
I'm sorry to hear that dishonesty is something you've been experiencing with her.
She wanted you so badly she was willing to lie to you about her age, and then she has done the very thing that would mean she will lose you... to continue to lie.
Have you thought of couples counseling?
Sharzi | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/23/2008 4:27:35 AM | You are extremely shallow. Age is just a number and can you blame her for wanting some lambsteak? She is still the same person and the only mistake she did was assuming you to be shallow so she lied about her age!!
If age is only a number why is it that so many have age restrictions like some ladys want boy toys and some men want way younger women than what they can really deal with, age is not just a number its a fact of life and poeple have age restriction because that is what they want, now for some one to lie about thier so they can meet some one younger and than decive them for so long is not right. | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/23/2008 4:02:00 PM | anyoneouttheir wrote
***** like some ladys want boy toys *****
No, we want men who aren't nasty, condescending, rude, controlling, impatient and looking for a slave. I could care less about a boy toy, what I care about is a man who doesn't treat women like 2nd class citizens.
Every single time I've gone out with someone over 45 or 46, that's what I've gotten. Happened again last night. He was 50 and even though my instincts told me not to go out with him, I keep hoping I'll meet someone closer to my age who will prove to me that the above is not a reality for every man over that age. And again, I was disappointed.
My profile is very clear that I'm not thin. I not only have it in my profile, but I openly tell anyone I'm talking to what size I take and that even though my face appears thin, my body isn't. I'm not huge, but I'm not what most men appear to be looking for.
I told him he looked very much like his pics. Then I asked him if I look like mine. Most men when they meet me tell me I look much better than my pics.... unless they're over 46. He looked at me and asked if I wanted the truth (why oh why didn't I say no?)... then he said, "Well, you are bigger in person than in your pics."
I came home, joined the BBW personals and have resigned myself that even though most men think I'm average, I'd rather weed out the guys who are shallow and hold out for the ones who truly do want the gift of a good woman even if the wrapping isn't quite perfect.
Sharzi | |
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| wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/23/2008 7:48:17 PM | "If age is only a number why is it that so many have age restrictions like some ladys want boy toys and some men want way younger women than what they can really deal with, age is not just a number its a fact of life and poeple have age restriction because that is what they want, now for some one to lie about thier so they can meet some one younger and than decive them for so long is not right."
Well, it's not just a number, actually.
There are FAR more men on this sight my age who are looking for women much, much younger than they are. The typical range is, they are say 55, but willing to date women from 35-52. See? Always, she must be younger than he is. Rarely would the stated range be 50-60 for a 55 year old man.
Women are willing to date a little younger, like this: I am 54 but willing to consider men from 50-60.
So, which gender do you think has the age hang-up? | |
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