Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 peregrinate
Joined: 4/30/2008
Msg: 76
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?Page 4 of 21    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)
Mary, Mary: Stay out of my inbox. If you want to discuss the issue, keep it in the forum.
 CentralValgal
Joined: 2/18/2008
Msg: 77
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/6/2008 1:09:05 PM
Never is? One lie and he is a dead man or women? Its going to be lonely out there. You must have been hurt really bad. It left you with no compassion. You are too young to feel that way. And if a man does love you, you are going to be brutal to him. He won't be able to make a mistake. And we all make mistakes.
 *LoisLane*
Joined: 4/1/2008
Msg: 78
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/6/2008 1:17:27 PM
Never is? One lie and he is a dead man or women? Its going to be lonely out there. You must have been hurt really bad. It left you with no compassion. You are too young to feel that way. And if a man does love you, you are going to be brutal to him. He won't be able to make a mistake. And we all make mistakes.

OMG! Your nonchalant attitude toward LIARS leads me to believe you are one. How do you like that? Did you not read the rest of my post?

A lie indicates a propensity to resort to lying when something the deceiver wants is on the line.

For you to believe I will be lonely because I have a value system I believe in and expect shows YOU don't value yourself enough. You don't value yourself enough if you expect and accept to be lied to.

I will never be lonely because I choose to love myself first and others can see that. And don't make assumptions about my level of compassion. You have got a lot of nerve! I stated in an earlier post, that I tried to forgive him for his lie but because he did that every time I played stepmother to his daughter, I was reminded about how he decieved me.

So where the fvck is YOUR got-damned compassion! It's OK for them to lie to people, what happens to the people they lie to? Fvck them, eh? No doubt you've told a whopper in your day to someone you so-called love. *SMH*

Furthermore, I don't know what type of mistakes you are talking about. Yes, people make mistakes. However, lies are not mistakes. You don't trip, fall and mistakenly lie to your SO. That is deliberate. All lies are deliberate and are self-serving.
 jellybaby48
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 79
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/6/2008 1:25:27 PM
she's lied,what else is she lieing about?that's what i would be asking myself..
 Just_Jay79
Joined: 10/11/2005
Msg: 80
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/6/2008 1:28:04 PM
Sorry Rain,

I'm getting Alzheimer's in my deranged later twenties...

What I meant to say was that you told him he's a fu*king idiot....
For some odd reason in my distorted and erroneous memory I thought you typed, "go f^%k yourself"...

I wholeheartedly apologize for the misquote, but either statement is kind of rude to post right off the bat especially if the person hasn't retaliated against you... Or maybe I'm just a prude...

I mean, look at the two of us: playfully bantering on a lazy Tuesday afternoon... But thus far neither of us has resorted to name-calling, so why did you lower yourself to do so to the OP? You're usually a far classier poster than that on these forums, so I'm surprised you've taken the step down temporarily...
 PurpleCrayon~
Joined: 9/26/2007
Msg: 81
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/6/2008 1:30:59 PM
Like the handle 'Lois Lane'... I use it on a Commodities trading forum. Ace reporter... girlfriend of Superman. What a life! I used the name 'Gossip Girl' here for a bit...but, really got tired of the negative emails I received. So, now am back to my Original choice.. 'Jedi Girl'. Twas me first preference anyway. I swoon over Jedi Knights.

Dang, hit the 'Post' icon before I finished my thought process.

I really don't get it... I don't. Why are some women saying it's AOK to lie about age. What are some men and women... saying 'Age is just a number'. True, it's a number...but, let the shallow ones, who refuse to contact someone due to age, continue on their chosen path. Chances are they will still be on sites in their 70s and 80s looking for the elusive 'younger' ...but, that's their choice.

I don't appreciate being lied to...even about 'just a number'... and I try to treat others like I want to be treated. It's simple as that.
 *LoisLane*
Joined: 4/1/2008
Msg: 82
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/6/2008 1:34:57 PM
Jedi Girl,

Um, thanks. It was given to me by a friend when I became a reporter, as I am feisty and go to any lengths for a story, etc. It became my online moniker as I use it on that "Place for Friends" and on my blog. So, it worked out fairly well. I like Jedis too...but it's the can't fall in love thing that's the hang up. BAAAH! As if Superman is any more attainable! teehee

OP, obviously the choice is ultimately yours, despite what gets said here.

Good luck.
 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 83
view profile
History
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/6/2008 1:36:01 PM
Tiger Woods...

Stop sucking up!!..You know I will forgive you when this post is all boring and old!!

I say what I feel in these threads...because I am a 41 and three quarters YEAR OLD WOMAN..and because I can!!
Plus I make sure I can back up anything I say or believe in!! (most of the time)

Although Name calling really isnt the right thing to do!!

Damn it TigerWoods!!...Now you have got me feeling slightly warm and fuzzy and my defenses are down!!
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 84
view profile
History
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/6/2008 1:38:11 PM
From the Oposter:
am I shallow for saying that I am uncomfortable with marrying a woman that much older than me?
Yes.. you fell in love and want to marry the woman.. not the age you now find out she really is... The age does not change who you fell in love with.. or [I think] it shouldn't anyway.

What about the lying part, does anybody feel this should be an issue or flag?? interested in comments.

Everyone says they'd do "this" or they'd do "that" but, nobody really knows what they'd do until after it actually happens to them (no matter what the scenerio is). Even when it does happen to them.. they're torn at what to do ... the countless threads in these forums asking for strangers advice seems to prove that assumption. Bottom line is: Only YOU can decide if it is a deal breaker for you or not OP.
 Just_Jay79
Joined: 10/11/2005
Msg: 85
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/6/2008 1:43:00 PM

Damn it TigerWoods!!...Now you have got me feeling slightly warm and fuzzy and my defenses are down!!

Excellent then all is going according to plan: first the sweet talk, then the peace offering, then the romantic getaway for two in the Caribbean...

Hey, I just dated a 38 year old woman back in January because she looked damn fine for her age... If you're not careful you just might be next!

On -Topic: We can never know how we'll react in this situation, but given that the OP asked for advice and didn't stipulate that we had to actually LIVE the same situation before responding, I think what each poster has contributed is valid (even when it turned out a little rude... ). Deception is bad, some say "hate the sin, not the sinner", others like myself are apt to be more suspicious thereafter... To each their own.
 tender_tootsie_pop
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 86
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/6/2008 1:45:37 PM
Supposing she has been upfront and totally honest about everything else she has told you, I would look the other way. She is from a diff generation, where women are encouraged to be a bit decietful about thier age. I am not supporting the lie, just saying, she was raised in a diff world than ladies my age.

If her true age is really a turn off however, then you know what you have to do.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 87
view profile
History
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/6/2008 1:49:24 PM
Holy Christmas Batman!!!!!!!

I can't believe how polarized and negative a post like this can get...

Men and women are castigating either the OP, or his 53+8 yr old GF? Fiance', what is it with all the anger???

Sheesh, He who is sin free and perfect start casting the first stone...The rest chill out, it isn't anyone elses life, except the OP's and he will be the one that decides right or wrong ultimately...

Everyone comes in with their own personal baggage to these threads... I see someone that thinks most women lie now, because of this thread... OHHHH FOR PETE SAKE

Maybe her actions were less than stellar, or maybe she didn't realize that it would get that far, and then found herself where she didn't know how to get out... HECK MAYBE she is a world class liar, and the only time she isn't lying is when her mouth ISN'T moving...

What ever the case, my questions is why does it have to be something that gets so intense as it to no longer be a discussion, but rather who can out rant the other opposing opinion...

If people would get this uptight and expend this much energy and anx about the gas prices, and demand a change on that front, maybe we would actually get something accomplished worth while...
 rjb888
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 88
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/6/2008 1:56:59 PM
Yep your right "ALL lies are deliberate and self serving." Just like the lies we tell ourselves, "I'll eat this ice cream cone and work out an extra hour tomorrow" and we don't. Some lies are worse than others. But some people need to get a grip.

I have read most of the posts and I have to say to the "high and mighty' moral crusaders get the F OFF your soap boxes. If you want to hold yourself to unGODly high standards go right a head, your a better person than me. EVERYONE lies, anyone that says they don't is a flat out LIER!!! While I don't think it's right to lie it freakin happens. The lying trait is in our human DNA, 18 month babies lie they don't have a clue of what lying is.

And yes before you go off with more of your moral outrage I know adults should know better. But guess what we're human. For all any of us know this is the only lie she told him, or she could really be a MAN!

Everyone has their right to decide for themselves what to tolerate. But shoving your morality down someone else throat is going just a bit to far.

Alot of glass houses are shattered with this thread.
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 89
view profile
History
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/6/2008 2:00:13 PM
The woman lied about her age. Yes, it is a small lie but she lied. If she would lie about her age what else is she going to lie about? A relationship built on deceit is not going to last.

I might joke around with my friends on my birthday that I am turning 19 again. But when men ask me my age, I tell them. I would like to be 19 again but the fact is I am almost 30 so that is the age I give them. Why lie and take off a few years?

If she were honest then the OP would have had a chance in the beginning to decide if he wanted to date an older woman or not.

I would think it would be more about her lie and not about her age.

~Carrie
 *LoisLane*
Joined: 4/1/2008
Msg: 90
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/6/2008 2:12:46 PM
RJB,

Since you quoted me:

ALL lies are deliberate and self serving

I will address this part of your post:

the posts and I have to say to the "high and mighty' moral crusaders get the F OFF your soap boxes...The lying trait is in our human DNA, 18 month babies lie they don't have a clue of what lying is.

I, for one, am not perfect and never said I was. What I don't do is deliberately mislead people, especially those I love and who love me. Any person, who would allow someone to fall in love with them under false pretenses of their construction is only considering themselves.

As to the bolded portion of your comment, I seriously laughed at this. The differences between a 61-year-old woman and an 18-month-old baby is many. The one that jumps out as relevant to this conversation is the mere fact that the woman should know better. At some point, we as people learn the difference between right and wrong, which no longer absolves us of lying.

Maybe there is no gray area for me because of my job. I became a reporter right after the Jayson Blair fiasco. Not that I was prone to telling lies before that but it was instilled in us that even a quote taken out of context is a lie. That is something I, personally, take very seriously as it is an indication of my integrity as a person. It is frightening to me how many people feel it is acceptable to lie to others and to be lied to.
 Hearttune
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 91
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/6/2008 2:24:18 PM
Do politicians count in this?
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 92
view profile
History
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/6/2008 2:50:03 PM
Yes, age is only a number but lying so easily is a problem forever.
 xxfoxyredxx
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 93
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/6/2008 3:07:38 PM
My ex lied to me bout his age as well! He told me he was 35 and he as really 46! No one else realised either and my family and friends all were fooled the same as me! I however didnt know till I'd been living with him for quite a while.

The age thing never bothered me. However the lie really did. If he had of told me his age then I wouldnt of met him ( off the internet). Just a preferance but I do prefer guys around my age but once I was involved I did feel a bit resentful about it cos the lie went on for months and I felt like I'd been trapped. However I did love him and the number made no difference but as I said the lie really did.

The problem was the lies went on an on and this was just the start.

I think you have to be honest with yourself. If the age part matter that much then maybe you dont love her the way ou thought, if its the lie and its affectd your relationship then maybe its better to move on but Id seriously chat about it first and see if it cant all e forgiven and move on. Shes not neccesarily a compulsive liar. Some people are fragile about their ages. Im not excusing it though I know how I felt x
 someonesx
Joined: 9/25/2007
Msg: 94
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/6/2008 3:23:21 PM
^^^^^
Experiments show that men don't have a clue how old women are judging by their looks....so if they are crossing off a specific age group, it has only to do with their inability to accept dating the AGE, not the LOOKS.


A new study shows that the fruity aroma from grapefruit may be able to shave years off a woman's appearance.http://www.webmd.com/content/Article/106/108196.htm

hmm maybe the OP's gal wore this and that was part of the reason he never guessed her real age...
 Indigo rose
Joined: 3/17/2007
Msg: 95
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/6/2008 3:26:21 PM
But if you tell them upfront that you lie about your age. You are telling the truth.
I know with me it all started in my early thirties when my daughter "thought" I was the same age as my much younger neighbor. Worked for me! So I ran with it!
In real life if they don't ask... I don't tell..hey works for the military
But every man I have dated has known my correct age... before we became engaged that is.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 96
view profile
History
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/6/2008 3:29:36 PM
Would this be maybe similar to the smoking detail on your profile? Occasionally means that you are a smoker but in your mind, you do not smoke that much.....do I have that right?

Hmmmmm.....thinking........Maybe a person does not feel their age, or look and act it, so should they put occasionally? Would it mean that some times they feel 45, and some times they feel 35 but do not feel 47 that much......

Your smoking occasionally is as much a lie as someone that states 40 when 45, or 49 when 51. Both a deception for personal reasons, and the one part that I can not understand, is that when you light up, there is no doubt that you are smoking, how it looks, smells and treats your body, but you can have another with you that might be 45 according to their birth certificate, but looks younger than your age and what is on your birth certificate, and no one knows the age at all, unless told.

"Baby.....that dress makes you look fat", is far from saying, "Baby.......that other dress makes you look even better then you are already"!!!! Both, may be lies, but I bet one is accepted over the other for many reasons.

Let the one who has never lied, cast that first stone in this direction, and be very careful when you do, because you just might hit my "old" ass before I can move out of the way...........

Looking......still looking.......no stones......wonders why?

Just my opinion........
 debaura
Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 97
view profile
History
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/6/2008 3:41:36 PM
i dont think its such a big deal ... ill give you an example when i met my ex i was 25 but because he looked so young i said i was 24 he also thought i looked young so he said he was 21 but he was really 23 i felt a bit bad, he also felt bad so one drunk night he said look ive got something to tell you ..... and i thought he was going to tell me hes met someone else or something massively heartbreaking and when he said he wasnt really 21 i laughed and said no im not 24 either and we both cracked up laughing ........ it was just alittle white lie to me thats all we stayed together for 10 years and hes the most honest person ive ever met ....... people are insecure some people lie about their age but that doesnt make them a bad person
 nigelwright
Joined: 3/24/2007
Msg: 98
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/6/2008 3:47:45 PM
One lie means other things she has said could have been lies too.

I would tread very carefully with this woman.
 galonthemt
Joined: 10/31/2007
Msg: 99
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/6/2008 3:47:55 PM
Oh great.........now I have to wear essence of grapefruit.........like I'm not fruity enough..
 peregrinate
Joined: 4/30/2008
Msg: 100
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/6/2008 3:49:28 PM
Old Lady: I've been told I have the body of a 20 year old.

Old Man: Well, give it back! You're wrinkling it!
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?