| Does LOVE exist...or do we just want it to so bad?
Posted: 5/7/2008 11:49:46 PM | ^^^^^ that is soooo sweet!!^^^^
Amazing what you see in a doctor's office. I seen two separate couples in a doctor's office. Both couples were senior citizens. The first couple was already there and were simple adorable. The husband was telling her a story and she was listening to every word. They were so close to each other and not just because the office was packed.
He gets to the end of his story and pauses, she laughs and taps him in the arm. It was so freakin' cute!!!
Another older couple comes in and they have to sit together because there are only two chairs left beside each other. They couldn't even stand their shoulders touching.... I didn't even want to imagine why they couldn't stand each other, even though they came in together.
Whew.... I'm glad that I'm not the only person that likes watching the old folks..... and plus it's a super boring place if you don't watch people.
I also seen other cute older folks, over the years... but then I'd have to start a thread about what is the cutest older couple that you've seen | |
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| Does LOVE exist...or do we just want it to so bad?
Posted: 5/8/2008 2:18:32 AM | well if it doesn't exist then life really is a lemon and i want my money back.
I was lucky because i grew up in a home where family was the most important thing in life.My mother and father married in thier early teens 16 & 15 both paassed away fairly young dad died at 49 mom died 5 years later at 53 The thing is they not only loved each other but they were in love untill each passed.My mom was the most important person in dads life,He would sing to her every day and do everything he could to make hers a fairytale life.Mom doted on him and even after he passed she slept with a picture of him under her pillow,she never showed it but we all know she died of a broken heart.
I'm not sure i would want a woman to love me that much ,but i've ridden that cotton candy carrousel and damn there is no better feeling in the world..even when it hurts. | |
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| Does LOVE exist...or do we just want it to so bad?
Posted: 5/8/2008 8:32:03 AM | I have an aunt that had married the man who proposed to her when she was in her early twenties. She was not ready then, but was ready when he asked again, after both their spouses had passed on. He came to her late husband's funeral and just said hi. They spoke of old times and after a brief period, started dating again. He is the one who does her shoes up as her arthritis hurts her to do so. As mentioned above, he opens the car door for her. The last 15 years have been wonderful for them both.
Sometimes you just need to be ready mentally for others to come into your life. | |
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| Does LOVE exist...or do we just want it to so bad?
Posted: 5/8/2008 9:06:31 AM | I'm left wondering...... is it better to have tasted love and been bitten !
..........( then chewed up and spit out ! )
or to never have ever felt or tasted it ? Hmmmmmm.
Yes I was totally head over heels, give every/ anything, do every/ any thing, always thinking of her, bringing home chocolates, chips , seeds, flowers,...surprises.. "just cause" always wanting to hold her ,.... touch her , caress her,....kiss her.....!
But, always being pushed away ! ( bad puppy ! Bad ! ...lol > this is me reflecting ! lol ) .
So what's worse ?
I know what the top of the mountain feels like, I know what I felt like.... it was like "crack cocaine" highly addictive and took quite a while to wean off !
Then I came on POF ..... HOLY CRAP !!!!
This is more like a SEX site then a dating / relationship site!
A "used car" dealership of people. Kick some tires, take a few test drives... heck ,...some that's all they want to do...test drive this one , that one... !! Others, look at the "body / exterior for dents, colour, mileage.... and thats it ! NEXT ! ..lol
Oh and the high school games....
If your real life is crappy, no matter what your profile says..... your life is still crappy! Fix urself, make your life happy and be content with the blessings you do have and move forward. You see someone that attracts you,.... go flirt ! Have a convo... read the signs...
It's harder to B.S..... in person ! BUt on a profile ( as I have discovered).... can we call this a "fictional" site ? ...lol | |
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| Does LOVE exist...or do we just want it to so bad?
Posted: 5/8/2008 3:34:14 PM |
This is more like a SEX site then a dating / relationship site!
And after all this time nobody told me.
I must be looking for the wrong kind of love in all the wrong places. | |
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| Does LOVE exist...or do we just want it to so bad?
Posted: 5/12/2008 9:18:53 AM | About two weeks ago it felt like people were being sent to me....to show me something about myself and help me with my 'yet another' failed relationship.
First I met a couple who were married when he was 44, she was/is 10 years younger than he. They built a life and even had two children! Tells me that with the right person, you're never 'too old' ;)
The second couple were in their 70/80's. They were celebrating their Wedding Anniversary and told me to guess how many years?? They laughed to themselves and she put up one finger as to help me out. Yes, they were celebrating their FIRST Wedding Anniversary! The three of us all agreed that it's true, you really never know where things will take you in life! :) As they left, him holding the doors to the building and to the car for her....I thought to myself.....I just want that. | |
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| Does LOVE exist...or do we just want it to so bad?
Posted: 5/12/2008 1:05:54 PM | I'm left wondering...... is it better to have tasted love and been bitten or to never have ever felt or tasted it ?
Hey edjoecdn what you wrote about doin' and feelin' makes me wonder if you bin livin' my former life. heh heh Difference is that there are some things i wouldn't do for anyone even myself.
As to your question i think i would never change anything that gave me such an experience. I would live hell to feel that again and maybe i'll have to. Far far better to have felt that deep an emotion once and for a short while than to never feel it at all. Even if the rest of life is spent in bitterness and fear it was worth that one touch, that one opportunity to be.
OP Yes love exists and is very real. It is within the being who seeks it. We look for the wrong thing we look for love when what we need is the opportunity to express our love or our being. Love is not what you find or get it is what you give. Not as a deed or reward because love is the reward. We cannot be whole if we hold our love inside we do not exist if we don't express our being. Love is a selfish act simply because the more we give it the better we feel about ourselves. It is when love is not accepted or love is held back that we feel rejection and stress. So give love always and don't look at rejection of love as a personal fault.
On the other hand i've been wrong about sooo many things in life this may be just another. | |
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| Does LOVE exist...or do we just want it to so bad?
Posted: 5/12/2008 1:24:43 PM | ^^^^^ ha, ha , ha .... now that's what wisdom sounds like !!!
On the other hand i've been wrong about sooo many things in life this may be just another.
No matter what opinion one has,... nor the life experiences,.... knowing one is never right is what it's all about !
For all you" know it alls",..... U don't know shiet ! ... or at least you should be open to that idea... thats wisdom !
I've had a taste,.... now i'm hungry for more !
Only I don't want to go around "snacking", I want to sit down and enjoy every single piece and make it last till it's gone !
I'm either talking about a mutual loving relationship.... or a coffee crisp ! You decide it's all in the perception of the beholder anyways... | |
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| Does LOVE exist...or do we just want it to so bad?
Posted: 5/12/2008 2:37:49 PM |
I'm left wondering...... is it better to have tasted love and been bitten or to never have ever felt or tasted it ? I suppose some people lay on their death bed thinking ”I’m sure glad that I missed out on so much in life”, but I’m fairly certain that most regrets are related to things that we’ve never tried or accomplished.
On the other hand i've been wrong about sooo many things in life this may be just another. What everybody is describing is an idea and a feeling… if you think that feeling is missing from your life, then you CAN’T be wrong. | |
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| Does LOVE exist...or do we just want it to so bad?
Posted: 5/12/2008 8:41:56 PM | Having had the opportinity to have loved once, I find I am almost fearful of looking for it again, out of fear of never finding it again....if that makes any sense at all...
CC | |
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| Does LOVE exist...or do we just want it to so bad?
Posted: 5/13/2008 7:26:04 AM | LOVE!!!
Here is good place to start. Get off your ass from your computor, go to the mirror and ask that person what you can do for them today to express how much you care about that person in the mirror and explain why it is that , that person deserves your love.
If you find it difficult to explain why that person deserves your love then go out and do something for someone else...random act of kindness...then go and do something to improve the health and well being of that person in the mirror.
Too lazy? Too unmotivated ? Too depressed? ....well if YOU don't do something about it,( ie ask for help, etc), then don't expect others to to do it for you.
You see NOTHING stops us from expressing love.....we all have enough to give and give....but what is really being asked here, is how do we get someone to love US completely.....
Strangely enough, when we focus on giving instead of recieving, love comes ! It might not be the kind of love we imagined but it can still be very good, and sustainable. God is Love! Think about it! | |
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| Does LOVE exist...or do we just want it to so bad?
Posted: 5/13/2008 12:22:40 PM | I have to agree that Love is like God, that is, it exists only when you believe it exists.
Love is created by human being to explain certain illogical, unexplainable, uncontrollable feelings, emotions, actions, reactions… pretty much like hatred, happiness, fear…
So, to those who believes in God, defines God is Love, if you believe otherwise, sure, you don’t deserve love. This is my understanding of “God is Love”. I maybe wrong, but no correction required. | |
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| Does LOVE exist...or do we just want it to so bad?
Posted: 5/13/2008 12:51:05 PM | I’m not sure what believing in the supernatural (god) has to do with the basic human need to be wanted.
I’ve seen lots of negative examples of what happens to people when they aren’t loved, starting from childhood, right on up to old age.
I haven’t seen any down sides to being an Atheist or Agnostic… aside from the odd self righteous bible thumper frowning upon that behavior. | |
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| Does LOVE exist...or do we just want it to so bad?
Posted: 5/13/2008 6:56:53 PM | Well "fly high", there are alot of things you don't understand or are "not sure" of but this one I will mark on the wall as you admitting to.
mrrabbit.....whether you require it or not...YOU ARE WRONG!!
Dano....funny thing.....you heard of six stages of removal??well I found you on my FaceBook only two stages away...we are practically related.....ok...I heard that groan!!
Our Creator indicated to us in his message he sent us , that love comprises so much of everything He does and is , that He is comparitively Love Incarnate...illustratively speaking.
That should be a comfort, considering the kind of "yahoos" He has to deal with.....POF, no exception.
For example silly people think that when the Bible says we were "created in His image" they literally assume without any for-thought that He is George Burns ( or facsimile) walking around.
....NO! What is meant is that we were created with the similar capabilities... such as , and most importantly LOVE.
Thats why YOU are capable of loving even if you don't believe in God....you were MADE that way, even if you have no mental capacity for recognizing where it came from. | |
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| Does LOVE exist...or do we just want it to so bad?
Posted: 5/13/2008 11:31:03 PM | Good segue Dano . . . this thread is heading off topic . . . lol
God does not exist IMO other than as a creation of humans to rationalize their existence and provide support to their weaknesses. That one relies on God for their belief in love is a tragic misrepresentation of logic. However, that belief is a totally understandable crutch for human frailty.
I have faith . . . I have spirituality . . . I have love . . . a belief in God has nothing to do with that! For those that care . . . I believe in a higher spiritual entity . . . that some label God.
The religious doctrine and hypocrisy embodied in structured Christianity is abhorrent to me, and a good minority of evolved spiritual concomitant humans. Whose God is the God? No human can answer that question.
The truth is God cannot exist unless defined and structured by organized religious doctrine. A rationalization, that has caused the death of countless millions of innocent people over the past 3,000 years.
In complete agreement, our genetic makeup embodies all of us with the capacity to love . . . with, or without the presence of God.
"For God so loved the world he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish but shall have ever lasting life."
If you recognize those exact words you can guess how old my copy of the King James bible is. I learned to quote this passage when I was too young to experience the thrill of puberty.
What a load of blarney! When you look at all of God's creatures the rare species is human . . . our capacity for love . . . our capacity to hate . . . our capacity to feel emotional pain . . . unique under God's creation.
To state firmly that someone else is wrong for not believing in our God is an exercise in intolerance that the New Testament God would deplore. Judge not lest thee be judged! Throw in the Old Testament / Koran and you have a much closer depiction of the intolerance of humans’ creation of God!
Yes . . . love exists . . . and so does God's love . . . if only you as an individual have the faith to believe it so.
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| Does LOVE exist...or do we just want it to so bad?
Posted: 5/13/2008 11:46:44 PM | Tempt, If you want to claim that God, Christ, Buddha, Allah, Krishna or which ever deity gave us the ability to love, so be it. I could care less WHO gave us that ability, the answer to that question doesn’t seem important… don’t mistake apathy for ignorance.
Why are we afraid it?
Why do we seek it?
How is it that we can love people and hate them at the same time?
How can you tell if you’re in love?
How do you know it’s real?
Why do people fall out of love?
Understanding the answers to those questions would inevitably improve our lives to some degree… Rationalizing the existence of god by saying he created love, doesn’t improve my life one bit, so why should I care about answers to questions which aren’t going to help me in any way.
Tempt, as usual, your post was mostly about criticizing others, while offering very little else. | |
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| Does LOVE exist...or do we just want it to so bad?
Posted: 5/14/2008 12:05:19 AM | I probably should just go to bed but...... I can't help myself.
I haven’t seen any down sides to being an Atheist or Agnostic… aside from the odd self righteous bible thumper frowning upon that behavior
Have you not seen what has been happening to society since people have moved away from God, religion, biblical teachings etc. society is breaking down people want to believe only in themselves and thus care only for themselves.
I am far from being religious and have been most of my life but i can see what has happened. Furthermore i can also see the same thing in both old and new testaments.
But here in Canada we need a God more because we have no set goal as a nation so we have nothing to believe in as a people. Thus we stress individuality and loose community and our freedom.
Individuals may in some cases get by without beliefs but never a society. | |
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| Does LOVE exist...or do we just want it to so bad?
Posted: 5/14/2008 1:49:13 AM | | Okieeeeee....getting back to topic. Yes, I do believe you can find love at any age. I look at it this way. I was hurt very badly by a previous relationship. However, I chose to look at it from the perspective that I like who I am, I enjoy all the opportunities that life has to offer - if someone comes along that turns my crank, I will enjoy that for however many minutes I am given it. Life is way to short to look at the, "what if I get hurt again" kind of stuff. I want the whole nine yards. A man to give me 100% of his life.....and I will do the same. That is the way I look at life in general. Yeah, sometimes you get the shaft, but heck, I am gonna find something good out of that, too! Darn it all, anyway!! | |
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| Does LOVE exist...or do we just want it to so bad?
Posted: 5/14/2008 5:57:39 AM | Wow ryn ..... such clarity at 4 a.m. in the morning.... I have to ask ... is / was this typed before or after bed ???
No wait I should rephrase it... " before or after sleep "" I'm thinking you jusy got some loving.... and are still .... umm "on a high" ? .... Doug did you fall asleep again ? ..lol
J/king dear...
A friend and i had a deep convo on this subject ! Her opinion was that it's only "love" is when it's mutual and both feel and act the same way....
I disagreed, for I " was in love" with the ex.... and she "may" have been also but she allways expected it to end .... which .. "HELLO" she left and obviously it did ! But it was all with her, her choice.
I don't miss her for now that i am on the outside i realized alot about myself ... and that's only becuase i took the time to reflect and learn the lessons that were right there.
And as "crashing chloe" mentioned,... I too am almost scared to go looking again; but for a different reason. Mine is not a fear of not finding it again .... but at "falling" and being blinded all over again !
I'm not going to fall in love with a stranger, this time i am going to try falling in love with a friend.... for as many have said... a friendship will reveal much about a person... and during that course I will see her as she really is,.... and see if she loves me...
Not going to pursue, nor persuade, nor charm.... for if "work" is required to make a favorable impression ( like with the ex ) then anything that results will ultimately fail... IMHO !
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| Does LOVE exist...or do we just want it to so bad?
Posted: 5/14/2008 9:38:45 AM | I too am almost scared to go looking again; but for a different reason. Mine is not a fear of not finding it again .... but at "falling" and being blinded all over
I'm with you there edjoe.
I didn't find out until years and kids into the marriage that the life she said she wanted was not the life she wanted. Nor did she tell me 'til years in that she married me for the man she knew i could be. I didn't notice myself because it wasn't until our first seperation that i started to see her as she is not as she presented herself during courting. Love can be more than blinding it blinds the eye and the mind.
Not going to pursue, nor persuade, nor charm.... for if "work" is required to make a favorable impression ( like with the ex ) then anything that results will ultimately fail... IMHO !
Ditto
I will let fate do the work for me. I have always fallen too easy and too hard so now i won't look and eventually someone will just come knockin' on my door and i'll drop everything to spend my life with her.
I say in my profile i will be very cautious about who i choose to date and that is true to a point because i think fate will provide and then i won't need caution. | |
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| Does LOVE exist...or do we just want it to so bad?
Posted: 5/14/2008 10:33:59 AM | I wish it was as you said, edjoe! However, I just got in from a 12 hour inventory at my work. So, no such luck. I think I have a bad case of "scanners thumb" right now.
I agree with you, though. I think we all get "blinded" by the lusty first stages of love. I almost hesitate to call those stages love. This time, I took my time, and did not let my emotions carry me away. I am still like that. No, I am not going in with the "it probably won't work anyway" idea. I am going in "expecting" it to work, and doing everything in my power to do so. When you have a partner that also feels the same way, then it is a good thing. Even when we get to some of the bumps in the road, we try to approach it in a "discussion" attitude, rather than the stamping of the feet. It is not easy, and yes, love is WORK. I can't wrap my head around the people who say it should be easy and flowing. I guess, perhaps, there are those out there that have discovered that. Who knows.
I become afraid for people who are, at any age, getting engaged within the first year of their relationship. I think it only prudent to see this person that you have fallen for in all the many stages of love and in the many stages of whatever life throws at you. I mean, I can be little Miss Perfect for only so long. When the sh-- hits the fan, how do I act? What do I do when I don't get my way? What do I do when life kicks me in the a--. And after discovering that, can he still love me anyway?
Is it being too cautious? Maybe, but if you are both in agreement on the speed of the relationship, then that works too. | |
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| Does LOVE exist...or do we just want it to so bad?
Posted: 5/14/2008 12:15:15 PM | Ryn.....So true! All of what you said.
So much of relationships is the timing. One person could be falling head over heals, the other being cautious. By the time the cautions one lets the head over heals one in...it might be too late! Mr./Ms. Head over heals could be tired of waiting, or already into the comfortable stage, not wanting to work so hard.
But this would mean communication...(The C Word)! And both people have to be willing participants ;) | |
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| Does LOVE exist...or do we just want it to so bad?
Posted: 5/14/2008 4:12:07 PM | OP, I love your smile it definately says something about love!
And yes, love exists, it is in all of us, we can't own it, we can't direct it and it does not own us.... it is constant, it heals what ails us and it is easily given and taken.
What happens to love when we can't feel it? It gets buried in the mess of emotions that come up to distract us from the purity of love. Fear moves in to convince us that love doesn't exist, loss creates a perception that love goes when the person leaves, we hold onto our need to make others wrong to make us right and we loose sight of why we are here in this world.
I've had the experience of one soul mate where we reached what I thought (and he validated it) a depth that I've never travelled in a relationship before. Love doesn't go, it is in the soul of your being, and of course it is nice to have someone to reflect it back to you.... take a look at that smile on your face, that is your reflection of love, that is your proof that it does exist. | |
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